Mayhem Laws of Physics
From Egs Mayhem
(→Some of the Laws) |
|||
| Line 236: | Line 236: | ||
70: Kevin. | 70: Kevin. | ||
| - | 76: Ed Bunny. | + | 76: Ed Bunny, and Sharzaxeshexsssh. |
83: Draco Blazer and May Cottontail. | 83: Draco Blazer and May Cottontail. | ||
Revision as of 13:33, 24 December 2006
Believe it or not, there are actually many laws of physics that govern Mayhem. These generally are, however, vastly different from those of Earth.
Some of the Laws
1: Don't piss off the bartender of the RP. You usually get blasted or hit by
2: Super Bouncer. The bouncer of said bar is uber strong.
3: No ID Checks.
4: If a character is being played by Kum-El, someone will fall in love with him before the day is done.
4a: She will, most likely, be someone played by 10.
5: There WILL be one character everyone, including the writer, hates.
6: If there are no powers or magic, expect Super Tech.
7: 10 will play a female with a screwed up past.
8: No matter how weird or abnormal, people will ALWAYS be accepted, and able to find 'true love'.
9: 10's girl will likely prove the above rule correct.
10: School RPs always have a love potion of some kind.
11: Lesbians will always outnumber gay boys by a factor of at least 3.
12: There will be one Anthro or morphing character. Period.
13: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
14: The GM is always good to the people, but only if they think Stalin was a good guy.
15: Nobody likes the Nurse. Nobody.
16: If a character is A: female and B: played by Yun, she will invariably be mentally unbalanced.
17: Creators MUST be evil to at least one character.
18: If a character has an angsty background, they will no doubt Angst about it to as many other PC's as possible.
19: Fear anything that has BTC after it unless you are a dirty Pervert. Also known as the Greg Rule.
20: All of Kylen's characters are ethnically Irish, without exception.
21: All of Sanchay's characters are insufferably cute.
22: Don't think hammerable thoug-*Hammered.*
23 (Alexis Rule): This looks reeeeaal bad, but hear me ou---
24: Bob can play any role and do it well.
25: The Hot Tub is for girls to make love.
26: No, the boys cannot watch. Ever.
26a: Unless it is important to the plot.
27: There is a good chance 10's girl will have something wrong with her left arm, why is unknown.
28: Anyone made by Kylen will control fire or have wolf ears and tail.
29: Anyone made by Yun will involve lightning, ravens, and/or Korea.
30: 1337 Will NOT be tolerated.
31: No, you many NOT have a Katana called Masamune. Ever.
31a: Unless the GM okays it, but it turns out to be a POC.
32: There are two forms of Posting: Long, novel style and Short, POST NOW DAMN IT style.
33: Lomgren posts like crazy.
34: The GM will never post fast enough, or be on long enough to move the plot.
35: Every RP will have at least one page populated entirely by only two posters.
35a: These posters' characters are almost always on the verge of at least making out.
35b: These posters' character's are in extreme danger.
36: Someone will always be disconnected from the Internet at a critical plot point.
37: There must be one Technomancer unless there is no tech.
37a: And, if there is no tech, there will be an Inventor who can make tech.
38: No one remains single for the whole RP, no matter how hard they try.
38a: Except if controlled by Piebunny. See Rule 89.
38b: Or if controlled by catldr24.
39: If 10's girl is talking about a rose it always means the same thing: she is a virgin.
40: There will always be a triangle.
41: Law of Tableware Nonexistence: There is no Spoon.
41a: There will be a long list of jokes only certain people will get.
41b: Most of these will occur on Library Books.
42: There will be one martial arts expert.
42a: He will be an old man.
42b: He will be Asian.
42c: he will be replaced within 2 years, by some younger guy.
43: There will always be one ultra-feminist whom no one likes.
44: There will be an evil organization.
44a: They will be stronger than the good guys, but still lose to a bunch of students.
45: If you get Deadlocked in a relationship with an inactive character, bad luck.
46: If Avenara makes a male character, no matter if he was meant to be straight, he always ends up gay.
47: There are always 3 characters who start out unable to speak English.
47a: But they will be able to communicate through other means.
48: At least one character will have/has a sibling with a military background.
49: At least one char will have an animal cohort.
50: Anyone who controls Electricity will have found out about their ability by frying their Computer/MP3 player/Phone/Robot Dog.
51: All of Yun's characters are at least bilingual.
51a: Even if he has to make up the second language himself.
52: At least one of Kylen's characters will be curtained for violence or otherwise at least once in the first 200 pages of said character's involvement in RP.
53: What happens BTC doesn't always stay BTC.
54: BTC will always mean Behind the Curtain.
55: If a character has a secret that they want to keep hidden from other characters, it will always always be revealed when they think no-one is watching.
55a: They will do one of two things: Tell nobody, or tell everybody. There is no middle ground.
56: Certain characters always seem to be quiet for strangely long periods of time before suddenly speaking up, while others are always talking.
57: If something is revealed OOC it will be revealed IC within a page or less.
58: Fawe's characters will be stalkers at least once in the RP.
59: Romance Sense SUCKS!
60: Any bad habits held by a character will be broken by another.
61: Anything that is set up for a cliche ending will have said ending.
62: There will be a Wiki in under a month or 2 of no plot movement.
63: There will always be a diagram of the dorms, but not the important places.
64: Six months of character development will be crammed into two days of action because the thread moves too slowly.
64a: No one is ever knocked out for a week.
65: If a character says that he/she is "Invincible", "Indestructible", "Unbeatable" or "Immortal", they will be proven very wrong in the next five pages.
66: The little girl always kicks the big guy's butt.
67: Kylen's characters get shagged within a day of meeting a significant other.
68: There is always at least one catgirl.
69: No, your character may not have 'One-Winged Angel' as their theme music.
70: No PC is ever really unremarkable.
71: The GM is not only god, but usually in love with irony.
72: While a day may take 200 pages to go by, a plane trip will only take two.
73: Nothing important happens during time warps.
74: [Something] always means a curse word.
75: Themes are kick ass. All important character's have one
76: Anyone with a peculiar accent or speaking habit will generally drop it.
76a: Any character who does not speak English will learn to do so improbably fast.
76b: Or learn the Common language through magic and/or a dream.
77: There will always be a reference to a webcomic.
78: If someone makes a point to say something is useless or ordinary, it most likely just looks that way and is REALLY useful and exotic.
79: One hour must take at least 3 days OOC.
80: Wounds heal improbably fast as well.
81: Don't question DEM. Ever.
81a: DEM can be what ever the hell it wants to be.
82: Evil plotting will always occur OOC, also Murphy's Law has particular sway IC.
83: People in love are always at Murphy's mercy, of which there is none.
84: Characters may have Asian names, even if they have no Asian heritage whatsoever.
85: Knock!
86: Kum-El will have a free male. Ten will have a free female.
86a: They will get together.
87: No matter what the RP is about, Piebunny will find some way to put Marco and Marci Marcellis in it.
87a: They will become inactive very quickly.
88: No-one can resist the puppy dog eyes.
89: None of Piebunny's characters will ever become romantically involved.
89a: EVER.
89b: Particularly and especially not Marco and Marci.
90: Cameo's RPs will be faster than light.
90a: Piebunny's will crash and burn.
91: If Cameo is involved, someone will have wings.
92: FB's characters will always like obscure music
93: VOR's characters are evil.
93a: If he creates a good character, either the RP or the character will die.
93b: Unless the character slowly starts getting morally corrupted.
94: Someone will try to work in an anime/manga reference.
95: Joat’s characters are always overly and ridiculously epic.
95a: None of them are powerless.
96: Grim's characters will always be hopeless romantics.
96a: If they're not a hopeless romantic, they have no people skills.
Exceptions
There's always a few who want to go around breaking the rules, eh? Here are some of them.
18: Sarah, Sylva Xynthea, and May Cottontail.
50: Travis.
67: Kylie and Amber.
70: Kevin.
76: Ed Bunny, and Sharzaxeshexsssh.
83: Draco Blazer and May Cottontail.
85: Will.
88: Leon Minnis, Sevilin, and Warlof.
90: Driftersverse and Wingies.
90a: The Massive Flaming Plane Crash Thread. (Although, since the plane itself crashes and burns....)
93: ICVOR.
96: Phil Cartwright.
- Note- Author-Man has broken 99.999999% of these rules.
