Mayhem Laws of Physics

From Egs Mayhem

Revision as of 21:42, 25 November 2006

Believe it or not, there are actually many laws of physics that govern Mayhem. These generally are, however, vastly different from those of Earth.

Some of the Laws

1: Don't piss off the bartender of the RP. You usually get blasted or hit by

2: Super Bouncer. The bouncer of said bar is uber strong.

3: No ID Checks.

4: If a character is being played by Kum-El, someone will fall in love with him before the day is done.
4a: She will, most likely, be someone played by 10.

5: There WILL be one character everyone, including the writer, hates.

6: If there are no powers or magic, expect Super Tech.

7: 10 will play a female with a screwed up past.

8: No matter how weird or abnormal, people will ALWAYS be accepted, and able to find 'true love'.

9: 10's girl will likely prove the above rule correct.

10: School RPs always have a love potion of some kind.

11: Lesbians will always outnumber gay boys by a factor of at least 3.

12: There will be one Anthro or morphing character. Period.

13: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

14: The GM is always good to the people, but only if they think Stalin was a good guy.

15: Nobody likes the Nurse. Nobody.

16: If a character is A: female and B: played by Yun, she will invariably be mentally unbalanced.

17: Creators MUST be evil to at least one character.

18: If a character has an angsty background, they will no doubt Angst about it to as many other PC's as possible.

19: Fear anything that has BTC after it unless you are a dirty Pervert. Also known as the Greg Rule.

20: All of Kylen's characters are ethnically Irish, without exception.

21: All of Sanchay's characters are insufferably cute.

22: Don't think hammerable thoug-*Hammered.*

23 (Alexis Rule): This looks reeeeaal bad, but hear me ou---

24: Bob can play any role and do it well.

25: The Hot Tub is for girls to make love.

26: No, the boys cannot watch. Ever.
26a: Unless it is important to plot.

27: There is a good chance 10's girl will have something wrong with her left arm, why is unknown.

28: Anyone made by Kylen will control fire or have wolf ears and tail.

29: Anyone made by Yun will involve lightning, ravens, and/or Korea.

30: 1337 Will NOT be tolerated.

31: No, you many NOT have a Katana called Masamune. Ever.
31a: Unless the GM okays it, but it turns out to be a POC.

32: There are two forms of Posting: Long, novel style and Short, POST NOW DAMN IT style.

33: Lomgren posts like crazy.

34: The GM will never post fast enough, or be on long enough to move the plot.

35: Every RP will have at least one page populated entirely by only two posters.
35a: These posters' characters are almost always on the verge of at least making out.
35b: These posters' character's are in extreme danger.

36: Someone will always be disconnected from the Internet at a critical plot point.

37: There must be one Technomancer unless there is no tech.
37a: And, if there is no tech, there will be an Inventor who can make tech.

38: No one remains single for the whole RP, no matter how hard they try.

39: If 10's girl is talking about a rose it always means the same thing: she is a virgin.

40: There will always be a triangle.

41: Law of Tableware Nonexistence: There is no Spoon.
41a: There will be a long list of jokes only certain people will get.
41b: Most of these will occur on Library Books.

42: There will be one martial arts expert.
42a: He will be an old man.
42b: He will be Asian.
42c: he will be replaced with in 2 years, by some younger guy.

43: There will always be one ultra-feminist whom no one likes.

44: There will be an evil organization.
44a: They will be stronger than the good guys but still lose to a bunch of students.

45: If you get Deadlocked in a relationship with an inactive character, bad luck.

46: If Avenara makes a male character, no matter if he was meant to be straight, he always ends up gay.

47: There are always 3 characters who start out unable to speak English.
47a: But they will be able to communicate through other means.

48: At least one character will have/has a sibling with a military background.

49: At least one char will have an animal cohort.

50: Anyone who controls Electricity will have found out about their ability by frying their Computer/MP3/Phone/Robot Dog.

51: All of Yun's characters are at least bilingual.
51a: Even if he has to make up the second language himself.

52: At least one of Kylen's characters will be curtained for violence or otherwise at least once in the first 200 pages of said character's involvement in RP.

53: What happens BTC doesn't always stay BTC.

54: BTC will always mean Behind the Curtain.

55: If a character has a secret that they want to keep hidden from other characters, it will always always be revealed when they think no-one is watching.
55a: They will do one of two things: Tell nobody, or tell everybody. There is no middle ground.

56: Certain characters always seem to be quiet for strangely long periods of time before suddenly speaking up, while others are always talking.

57: If something is revealed OOC it will be revealed IC within a page or less.

58: Fawe's characters will be stalkers at least once in the RP.

59: Romance Sense SUCKS!

60: Any bad habits held by a character will be broken by another.

61: Anything that is set up for a cliche ending will have said ending.

62: There will be a Wiki in under a month or 2 of no plot movement.

63: There will always be a diagram of the dorms, but not the important places.

64: Six months of character development will be crammed into two days of action because the thread moves too slowly.
64a: No one is ever knocked out for a week.

65: If a character says that he/she is "Invincible, Indestructible, Unbeatable or Immortal", they will be proven very wrong in the next five pages.

66: The little girl always kicks the big guy's butt.

67: Kylen's characters get shagged with in a day of meeting a significant other.

68: There is always at least one catgirl.

69: No, your character may not have 'One-Winged Angel' as their theme music.

70: No PC is ever really unremarkable.

71: The GM is not only god, but usually in love with irony.

72: While a day may take 200 pages to go by, a plane trip will only take two.

73: Nothing important happens during time warps.

74: [Something] always means a curse word.

75: Themes are kick ass. All important character's have one

76: Anyone with a peculiar accent or speaking habit will generally drop it.
76a: Any character which does not speak English will learn to do so improbably fast.
76b: Or learn the Common language through magic and/or a dream.

77: There will always be a reference to a webcomic.

78: If someone makes a point to say something is useless or ordinary, it most likely just looks that way and is REALLY useful and exotic.

79: One hour must take at least 3 days OOC.

80: Wounds heal improbably fast as well.

81: Don't question DEM. Ever.
81a: DEM can be what ever the hell it wants to be.

82: Evil plotting will always occur OOC, also Murphy's Law has particular sway IC.

83: People in love are always at Murphy's mercy, of which there is none.

84: Characters may have Asian names, even if they have no Asian heritage whatsoever.

85: Knock!

86: Kum-El will have a free male. Ten will have a free female.
86a: They will get together.

87: No matter what the RP is about, Piebunny will find some way to put Marco and Marci Marcellis in it.
87a: They will become inactive very quickly.

88: No-one can resist the puppy dog eyes.

89: None of Piebunny's characters will ever become romantically involved.
89a: EVER.
89b: Particularly and especially not Marco and Marci.

90: Cameo's RPs will be faster than light.
90a: Piebunny's will crash and burn.

Exceptions

There's always a few who want to go around breaking the rules, eh? Here are some of them.

18: Sarah, Sylva Xynthea, and May Cottontail.

50: Travis.

67: Kylie and Amber.

70: Kevin.

76: Ed Bunny.

83: Draco Blazer and May Cottontail.

85: Will.

88: Leon Minnis, Sevilin, and Warlof.

90: Driftersverse and Wingies.
90a: The Massive Flaming Plane Crash Thread. (Although, since the plane itself crashes and burns....)