| Psycho Bonus Stage Progress |
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| And now for... |
Identity Crisis
From Psycho Bonus Stage
Psycho Bonus Stage Episode 8
Clan takes a break at a local post office (called Yahoo) and ponders whether Bonus Stage is real. Also, Clan meets up with an old friend. Psychosis lands at Charismaville Airport and prepares to enter Bonus Stage. Mandy, Ruby and Hagurumon try to solve who destroyed Bonus Stage while being chased by the Butt Police.
Characters (in order of appearance): Psychosis, Clan, Rubyrulez, Mandy, Yahoo! Mailman, Dingodile, Jello B., Phil, Rya, Hilary Duff
Contents |
Transcript
(opening creds)
(Cut to Charismaville Airport. Pause for several seconds, then pan up to Psychosis still falling from the plane. He positions himself feet-first, and then slams into the ground and is no longer identifiable. Another Psychosis appears from the plane. Pause for several more seconds. Cut to Clan, Ruby and Mandy entering the Yahoo! Post Office.)
CLAN: So why can't Hagurumon see me off as well?
RUBYRULEZ: We had to put him in a straitjacket. He's really getting annoying.
MANDY: And insane.
CLAN: Oh. Okay, I'll see you later.
(Ruby and Mandy leave. Long pause. Yahoo Mailman appears behind the counter.
YAHOO! MAILMAN: Hey there, young 'un. Whatcha doin' 'ere?
CLAN: Dunno. (pause) Oh! I remember, I decided to stop for a while...while I thought about my little dillemma.
YAHOO! MAILMAN: Oh? And what is that?
CLAN: I think there's two Hilary Duffs in the world. I wanted to sort myself out.
YAHOO! MAILMAN: I see. Why don't you send a letter to her? I'll deliver it ASAP.
CLAN: Really? You'd do that for me?
YAHOO! MAILMAN: Well, we are on the Internet.
CLAN: Oh. I guess I kinda forgot.
YAHOO! MAILMAN: So do you know Hilary's address?
(pause)
CLAN: Damn!
YAHOO! MAILMAN: Well... I do. I'll help.
CLAN: Thanks. Now, I have to dress up as Hip Hop Cartman.
YAHOO! MAILMAN: Ok. Got yer little note in check.
CLAN: Thanks, bro.
(Slim appears)
SLIM: Hi, Clan. Ready to air the Psycho Bonus Stage show?
CLAN: Sure. The name of this episode should be Will The Real Lizzie Mc Guire Please Stand Up with Bonus Stage?
SLIM: Psychosomatic and his buddies are goin' to the studio through a different route.
CLAN: Got it.
(Meanwhile, Mandy, Jinzo, Rubyrulez, and Dingodile fixing Hagurumon to make him sane)
MANDY: Throw the switch, Dingodile!
(Dingodile throws the switch to the on lever, and Hagurumon is fixed up)
DINGODILE: Aw, croikey! I made Hagurumon look like Mr. Malice and Joel Dawson combined!
MANDY: It's alright. There's a house at the top of a tree with a room and a chair is in the room and sitting in that chair is Hagurumon for the entire episode.
DINGODILE: ...That made no sense whatsoever.
MANDY: I'm well aware of that.
RUBYRULEZ: Hey, I've got an idea!
DINGODILE: What?
RUBYRULEZ: How about we put Hagurumon AND Mandy in a padded cell?
DINGODILE: Crikey! That's a brilliant idea!
{Cut to Mandy and Hagurumon sitting in a padded cell. Both are wearing straitjackets.}
HAGURUMON: ...This one time, I made out with some chick that I thought was Jessica. Then I realized that she was not, in fact, Jessica.
MANDY: I cannot say I have ever done that. And nor can you.
HAGURUMON: Actually, yes, I can.
MANDY: Oh, okay.
{Cut to Dingodile, Jinzo, and Rubyrulez}
JINZO: Maybe we should let Mandy out of there.
RUBYRULEZ: No. She runs those TMBG quotes to the ground.
DINGODILE: You have a point there, Ruby.
{Cut to Clan}'
CLAN: Gee, I wonder where Psychosis is. Ah, well. I made a bunch of records for them.
{Something emerges from the shadows}
CLAN: Why if it isn't my old friend, Jello B.
JELLO B.: Ah, yes. I hope you'll find this interesting.
{Jello B. unleashes the curtains to find Psychosomatic bound and gagged to a chair}
CLAN: Why, you...
JELLO: I'm about to throw down the devastation that's going to your 2 butts.
CLAN: I only have one!
{Jello B. and Clan rHrN fight, each carrying a white axe}
(Psychosis pops in from offscreen)
PSYCHOSIS: Actually, I was at the airport, being picked up by Phil and Rya.
CLAN: Oh...sorry. So where was I...Aha! (Clan and Jello B continue fighting)
(cut to Charismaville Airport. Psychosis is taking his luggage. Slow pan to outside, to see Phil and Rya parked outside the exit. Pan back to Psychosis pushing the door open. He notices the car, and walks over to it. As he puts his luggage in the back of the car,)
PSYCHOSIS: Hey there. Thanks for picking me up.
PHIL: That's ok.
PSYCHOSIS: It's not like I could just walk over to Charismaville.
RYA: Yeah, that'd be a real pain.
(Psychosis opens the back door and sits down behind Rya. He opens his backpack and retrieves his laptop. He presses the power button, and while waiting for it to load up, Phil starts the car and starts driving.)
PHIL: So how come you wanted to join us in Bonus Stage?
RYA: Bonus Stage 2.
PSYCHOSIS: I dunno. Wacky adventures, great people...I guess I like BS just for the fun.
PHIL: Doesn't everyone?
PSYCHOSIS: Yeah. (short pause) Just wondering, what happened to the first Bonus Stage?
PHIL and RYA: Joel.
PSYCHOSIS: Oh?
PHIL: His stupid invention destroyed it.
PSYCHOSIS: The bastard. Hold on, I need to send something to some friends.
(Cut to Mandy and Hagurumon in a padded cell. Hagurumon is trying to open a laptop with his nose. Mandy is watching, and laughing silently.)
MANDY: Is that honestly the best you can do?
(Cut to Rubyrulez, Jinzo and Dingodile walking nowhere in particular.)
RUBYRULEZ: I wonder where my lappy is...
(Cut back to Psychosis, Rya and Phil in the car.)
PSYCHOSIS: Damn, couldn't send it.
RYA: Where are your friends anyway?
PSYCHOSIS: On the 'Net, trying to find out what happened to Bonus Stage.
PHIL: Oh, that might be why you can't send it.
PSYCHOSIS: They'd be able to see it anyway, they're on the net.
(Cut to Ruby, Jinzo and Dingodile)
RUBYRULEZ: I wonder how Psychosis is going with finding out what happened.
(A giant piece of paper appears. It reads:)
Hey there friends, My journey has been successful! I am with Rya and Phil right now. Apparently, Joel built this machine but left a vital piece out of it, which apparently launched a virus into Bonus Stage, ultimately destroying it. They say he's been working on a new one (which annoys Phil), codenamed BS2. My plan is that if anything wierd happens, I'll send a message to ya, maybe you can check it out...maybe. Depends on what you think. Better get going, we're just turning into Charismaville. Check ya later, Psychosis
(Rubyrulez stares at the paper for a few seconds, then starts folding it and stuffs it into his pocket.)
DINGODILE: Then where is Clan?
RUBYRULEZ: Fighting his evil arch-nemesis, Jello B.
JINZO: Let's help Clan.
RUBYRULEZ: No, for Clan is the Duffman.
JINZO: O RLY?
RUBYRULEZ: YA RLY!
MANDY: So, Joel is starting a new Bonus Stage, huh?
HAGURUMON: APPLES!
RUBYRULEZ: I guess we don't have to worry anymore.
JINZO: What about Clan?
MANDY: Who cares about Clan?
RUBYRULEZ: Now, I know you may still be mad with him, but he helped us out a lot in our adventure. The least we owe him is to help him out.
HAGURUMON: PRETTY PURPLE POP-TARTS!
{Everybody stares at Hagurumon with wide eyes.}
MANDY: Can we leave him here?
JINZO: Why not?
MANDY: Let's go!
(Cut to Clan and Jello B, both bloody and beaten from the battle.)
CLAN: So what are you doing here in Yahoo?
JELLO B: I was on my way to Hotmail, to incite a war between it and Yahoo. And they both suck.
CLAN: Well, Hotmail doesn't suck. One of my friends actually has a live mail account. (teasingly) And it's a beta.
JELLO: Yeah well...ummm...
(Dingodile appears from offscreen)
DINGODILE: DIE!
(Dingodile unleashes his flamethrower on Jello B. Cut to Psychosis, in a dark room, speaking to the camera. The words "Day 3" are displayed on-screen.)
PSYCHOSIS: The day went really well, I think. Clan's use of me in a chair was pretty silly, its kinda like theres two of me at the-
(Scene change to static. Then cut to Evil in the same room.)
EVIL: Greetings, puny mortals. I have your friend in custard...y. If you want to see him again, surrender now or forever hold your tongues in dismay as I destroy you all! Hahahaha! DINGODILE: Aw, crikey. I'm not gonna hurt Clan or his buddies.
EVIL: What?? I thought you liked my reward.
DINGODILE: Nah. It sucked.
JELLO: Do you know how much I hate you?
DINGODILE: A lot.
{Dingodile burninates Jello B.}
CLAN: Jolly good!
DINGODILE: Hold on. I have to find Mandy, Hagurumon, and Sir Ruby.
{Cut to Mandy}
MANDY: Now to get rid of Dingodile with this new thing I've made.
{Cut to Dingodile entering a Starbuck's with Rubyrulez and Hagurumon}
DINGODILE: Oh, hello.
RUBYRULEZ: Clan has a Folding Chair of Thwacky +133 in the next episode?
HAGURUMON: Yes he does.
RUBYRULEZ: What about Dingodile? What character development does he have?
HAGURUMON: We might end up putting him in as only a running gag.
DINGODILE: C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
{Every other Crash Bandicoot character, including Rilla Roo, says "HEY" soon after Dingodile's statement}
MANDY: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiit a second...why is everyone out of character?
RUBYRULEZ: Clan.
MANDY: Oh, okay.
{Mandy slices Clan in half with a scythe.}
HAGURUMON: I AM THE BACON MAN!
MANDY: ...Good for you?
{Clan reappears}
CLAN: Why did you do that?
MANDY: Oopsies.
CLAN: Normal plot...
{Return to previous plot with Clan alone}
CLAN: I should probably go to Burger King.
{Cut to Psychosomatic at the studio}
PSYCHOSIS: This is Psycho Bonus Stage Live at e3! Phil, Rya and myself made a quick stop at the Electronic Electronics Expo to check out the action. (whispered) I'm really being held hostage by Evil, forced to look at Barbie games! Help meeeee!
(Psychosis is knocked out by a baseball bat. He falls over to reveal Evil.)
EVIL: I am truly serious! Now surrender to my super evil underpants or DIE!
(Zoom out to reveal Ruby watching this on TV.)
RUBYRULEZ: Holy cr**! I need to get Mandy and Hagurumon back to sanity with (pulls out a HSN product) with this! And yes, I am seeing a counselor.
(Ruby presses a button. Cut to Ruby, and Mandy and Hagurumon (fully sane) running to a nearby portal.)
HAGURUMON: What? That's awful!
RUBYRULEZ: Yeah! We need to find him quick! And maybe fight Evil or something!
(Cut to Clan back at the Yahoo! Post Office.)
CLAN: Wha?! What am I doing here?
(Hilary Duff walks in)
HILARY DUFF: You wanted to see me?
CLAN: Ohh...God...
{Clan pauses for a moment}
CLAN: Hi, my name is Clan rHrN and I'm single.
HILARY DUFF: Okay, I am-
(Cut to Rubyrulez, Mandy and Hagurumon at the portal to High Score)
RUBYRULEZ: (carrying his lappy) Okay, there's some REAL bad news!
MANDY: Oh?
RUBYRULEZ: I managed to find a backup Bonus Stage site. Unfortunately...we only have Car now.
HAGURUMON: WHAT?!
MANDY: What about High Score?
RUBYRULEZ: (taps the portal) seems ok. Maybe we can ask the others!
(Cut to Rya watching the credits of Car on her computer. She is totally and utterly horrified.)
PSYCHOSIS: You did that?
PHIL: I had no idea Joel would go to such extreme lengths like this. (pissed) And how could he love hanging himself? He can only do it twice: In Bonus Stage and then in High Score...(normal) You know, it might not have been Joel who destroyed Bonus Stage. The rest of Bonus Stage being destroyed might have just reached our episode, a choosing Joel's invention to blow up the space and time of Bonus Stage...or I'm in the proximity of a crazy person.
(Rubyrulez, Mandy and Hagurumon enter.)
HAGURUMON: DONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT!!!!
PHIL: Crap.
MANDY: Actually, you're in the proximity of several crazy people. Mainly me and Nick...WAIT A SECOND, I'M TALKING TO PHIL ARGUS! HOLY CRAP! THIS IS A FANGIRL'S DREAM COME TRUE!
{Cut back to Clan, who is looking for Mandy}
CLAN: Where are you guys??
{No response}
CLAN: Dang. Hilary Duff's taken by some idiot named Joel Dawson. I'd love to pound that nerd to pieces. Come and fight me, Joel Dawson!
{No response}
CLAN: Where is everybody? (sighs)I'm starting to miss Mandy, being that she is my ex.
(A thoughtbubble appears, showing Mandy and Clan holding hands. Cut back to HS Phil's House.)
RUBYRULEZ: So what's going on?
MANDY: All I can tell is that Clan's altered history so that I'm his ex-girlfriend. Uggh.
PHIL: What are you doing here?!
RUBYRULEZ: No, Clan hasn't altered history. Otherwise, Iraq would've been nuked.
MANDY: Yes, I'm sure he has...
RUBYRULEZ: I guess you're right.
HAGURUMON: Have any of you seen the latest TRR episode?
RUBYRULEZ: Ok, he's officially gone nuts.
PHIL: Alright, climb in everyone, I guess, we're going to start Bonus Stage 2! {mutters} And you can't come...
PSYCHOSIS: Huh?
PHIL: Nothing...
MANDY: I hope Clan doesn't alter Bonus Stage 2...
PSYCHOSIS: Clan has altered nothing.
MANDY: Yes he has! He altered history! Apparently he's my ex-boyfriend now! THIS THOUGHT SCARES MANDY!
PSYCHOSIS: Why are you talking in the third person?
MANDY: I 'unno.
(Phil, Joel, Elly, June, Jess (who just happened to appear for a split second) and Rya fade out.)
MANDY: Cool! I want it!
PSYCHOSIS: Remember what I said in that e-mail? I'll post to ya if anything bad happens.
RUBYRULEZ: 'Kay.
(Psychosis grabs a communicator thing from the machine and speaks into it.)
PSYCHOSIS: Phil, am I safe to come in?
(pause)
PHIL: (from communicator) Sure, come on.
(Psychosis disappears. Pause. lines of text appear on the computer.)
HAGURUMON: Press Any Key to continue. Where's the Any Key?
(Ruby sighs and presses the big red button on the machine. The Scene fades out. Roll the new BS opening credits. Afterwards cut back to Ruby, Mandy, and Hagurumon.)
RUBYRULEZ: What the heck just happened?
MANDY: I think that they're already inside the simulation.
HAGURUMON: PIE!
RUBYRULEZ: Let's go too!
{A bright white light appears, and the fanbase walks through it and into Bonus Stage 2.}
{Roll second set of credits.}
(Cut to Clan and Hilary Duff at the post office.)
HILARY DUFF: I have a secret Identity you know.
CLAN: Oh?
(Hilary Duff suddenly changes into Evil)
EVIL: ME!! HAHAHAHA!
CLAN: You son of a-
(roll final set of credits.)
Fun Facts
Inside References
- Evil pretending to be Hilary refers to Morbid, where Satan was pretending to be Phil in Charismaville to tease Joel.
Real World References
- Hotmail now has a "Live Mail" service running, in its beta stage.
- However, it's Psychosis' friend that has this service.
- TMBG stands for They Might Be Giants.
- HAGURUMON: Press Any Key to continue. Where's the Any Key?
- This refers to a Simpsons episode (more info plz)
