Mayhem Laws of Physics

From Egs Mayhem

Revision as of 08:07, 25 November 2006

Believe it or not, there are actually many laws of physics that govern Mayhem. These generally are, however, vastly different from those of Earth.

Some of the Laws

1: Don't piss off the bartender of the RP. You usually get blasted or hit by

2: Super Bouncer. the bouncer of said bar is uber strong

3: No ID Checks

4: If a character is being played by Kum-El, someone will fall in love with him before the day is done
4b: Especially 10.

5: There WILL be one character every one, including the writer, hates

6: If there are no powers or magic, expect Super Tech

7: 10 will play a female with a screwed up past

8: No matter how weird or abnormal, people will ALWAYS be accepted, and able to find 'true love'.

9: 10's girl will likely prove the above rule correct

10: School RPs always have a love potion of some kind

11: Lesbians will always outnumber gay boys by a factor of at least 3

12: There will be one Anthro or morphing chacracter. Period.

13: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

14: The GM is evil

15: Nobody likes the Nurse. Nobody.

16: If a character is A: female and B: played by Yun, she will invariably be mentally unbalanced

17: Creators MUST be evil to at least one character

18: If a character has an Angsty backround, they will no doubt Angst about it to as many other PC's as possible.

19: Fear anything that has BTC after it unless you are a dirty Pervert. Also known as the Greg Rule

20: All of Kylen's characters are ethnically Irish, without exception

21: All of Sanchay's characters are insufferably cute

22: Don't think hammerable thoug-*Hammered.*

23 (Alexis Rule): This looks reaaaal bad, but hear me ou---

24: Bob can play any role and do it well

25: The HotTub is for girls to make love

26: No, the boys cannot watch. Ever.
26a: Unless it is important to plot

27: there is a good chance 10's girl wll have somthing wrong with her left arm, why is unknown

28: Anyone made by Kylen will control fire or have wolf ears and tail.

29: Anyone made by Yun will involve lightning, ravens, and/or Korea

30: 1337 Will NOT be tolerated.

31: No, you many NOT have a Katana called Masamune. Ever.
31a: Unless the GM okays it, but it turns out to be a POC

32: There are two forms of Posting: Long, novel style and Short, POST NOW DAMN IT style

33: Lomgren posts like crazy

34: The GM will never post fast enough, or be on long enough to move the plot

35: Every RP will have at least one page populated entirely by only two posters
35a: These posters' characters are almost always on the verge of at least making out
35b: These posters' character's are in extreme danger

36: Someone will always be disconnected from the interent at a critical plot point.

37: There must be one Technomancer unless there is no tech.
37a: And, if there is no tech, there will be an Inventor who can make tech

38: No one remains single for the whole RPG no matter how hard they try

39: if 10's girl is talking about a rose it always means the same thing: she is a virgin.

40: There will always be a triangle

41: Law of Tablewear Nonexistance: There is no Spoon.
41a: There will be a long list of jokes only certain people will get
41b: Most of these will occur on Library Books.

42: There will be one martial arts expert
42a: He will be an old man.
42b: He will be Asian.
42c: he will be replaced with in 2 years, by some younger guy

43: There will always be one ultra-feminist whom no one likes

44: There will be an evil organization
44a: They will be stronger than the good guys but still lose to a bunch of students

45: If you get Deadlocked in a relationship with an inactive character, bad luck.

46: If Avenara makes a male character, no matter if he was meant to be straight, he always ends up gay.

47: There are always 3 characters who start out unable to speak English
47a: But they will be able to communicate through other means.

48: At least one character will have/has a sibling with a military background

49: At least one char will have an animal cohort

50: Anyone who controls Electricty will have found out about their ability by frying their Computer/MP3/Phone/Robot Dog.

51: All of Yun's characters are at least bilingual
51a: Even if he has to make up the second language himself

52: At least one of Kylen's characters will be curtained for violence or otherwise at least once in the first 200 pages Of said character's involvement in RP

53: What happens BTC doesn't always stay BTC

54: BTC will always mean Behind the Curtain.

55: If a character has a secret that they want to keep hidden from other characters, it will always always be revealed when they think no-one is watching.
55a: They will do one of two things: Tell nobody, or tell everybody. There is no middle ground.

56: Certain characters always seem to be quiet for strangely long periods of time before suddenly speaking up, while others are always talking

57: If something is revealed OOC it will be reveal IC with in a page or less

58: Fawe's characters will be stalkers at least once in the RP

59: Romance Sense SUCKS!

60: Any bad habits held by a character will be broken by another

61: Anything that is set up for a cliche ending will have said ending

62: There will be a Wiki in under a month or 2 of no plot movement

63: There will always be a diagram of the dorms, but not the important places

64: Six months of character development will be crammed into two days of action because the thread moves too slowly
64a: No one is ever knocked out for a week

65: If a character says that he/she is "Invincible, Indestructible, Unbeatable or Immortal", they will be proven very wrong in the next five pages.

66: The little girl always kicks the big guy's butt

67: Kylen's characters get shagged with in a day of meeting a significant other

68: There is always at least one catgirl

69: No, your character may not have 'One-Winged Angel' as their theme music.

70: No PC is ever really unremarkable

71: The GM is not only god, but usually in love with irony

72: While a day may take 200 pages to go by, a plane trip will only take two.

73: Nothing important happens during time warps

74: [Something] always means a curse word

75: Themes are kick ass. All importaint character's have one

76: Anyone with a peculiar accent or speaking habit will generally drop it.
76a: Any character which does not speak English will learn to do so improbably fast
76b: Or learn the Common language through magic and/or a dream.

77: There will always be a reference to a webcomic

78: If someone makes a point to say something is useless or ordinary, it most likely just looks that way and is REALLY useful and exotic.

79: One hour must take at least 3 days OOC

80: Wounds heal improbably fast as well

81: Don't question DEM. Ever.
81a: DEM can be what ever the hell it wants to be

82: Evil plotting will always occur OOC, also Murphy's Law has particular sway IC

83: People in love are always at Murphy's mercy, of which there is none

84: Characters may have Asian names, even if they have no Asian heritage whatsoever.

85: Knock!

86: Kum-El will have a free male. Ten will have a free female.
86a: They will get together.

87: No matter what the RP is about, Piebunny will find some way to put Marco and Marci in it.
87a: They will become inactive very quickly.

88: None can resist the puppy dog eyes.

89: None of Piebunny's characters will ever become romantically involved.
89a: EVER.
89b: Particularly and especially not Marco and Marci.

90: Cameo's RPs will be faster than light.
90a: Piebunny's will crash and burn.

Exceptions

18: Sarah.

50: Travis.

67: Kylie and Amber.

70: Kevin.

76: Ed Bunny.

85: Will.

90: Driftersverse and Wingies.
90a: The Massive Flaming Plane Crash Thread. (Although, since the plane itself crashes and burns....)