| Psycho Bonus Stage Progress |
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| And now for... |
Episode 5
From Psycho Bonus Stage
Psycho BS Episode 5
Oh no! Bonus Stage and Keenspot are down! It's time for Matt Wilson's fans to solve the problem before it's too late...huh? Oh, sorry...it is too late. But here's the episode anyway.
Characters (in order of appearance}: Rubyrulez, Psychosis, Satan, Hagurumon, Realtor, Mandy, Clan rHrN, Matt Wilson
Contents |
Transcript
{opening credits}
(Cut to Joel's Lab, where a furiously shaking box is flashing whiter and whiter from orange.)
PHIL: (offscreen) Hey Elly, can you get me the cola from Joel's Lab?
(Elly moves in from the right.)
ELLY: Fine, um...lazy...pants.
(Elly opens the box and everything becomes static. Cut to a shot of Ruby's house. Rubyrulez sits down at his computer.}
RUBYRULEZ: {excited} All righty! Today is usually the day for Bonus Stage! I'm looking forward to this episode!
{Rubyrulez types in the Bonus Stage website, only to get a 404 message.}
RUBYRULEZ: W...T...F man, W...T...F
{He tries again, and instead gets a "You Suck" message.}
RUBYRULEZ: {annoyed} The hell?
{He tries again, but this time gets a "RETARD'D" message.}
VOICEOVER: Retard'd!
{Rubyrulez gets very angry.}
RUBYRULEZ: Maybe it's just my computer that hates me! I'll watch Bonus Stage over at my friend Hagurumon's house! Maybe Mandy will be there too!
(Cut to Psychosis' Room. Psychosis is just sitting there, sleeping, at his comp. Stay in this scene for several seconds. Suddenly the scene flashes yellow and red.)
WIERD VOICE THING: (extremely pissed off for no reason) BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! GET UP YOU FRICKEN RETARD! BONUS STAGE IS UP!!!!!
(Psychosis wakes up suddenly. He punches the computer, then screams.)
PSYCHOSIS: OH S- ! (normal) Oh wait, hold on. (pulls phone out of pocket, dials, rings) Props Department? Yeah, um, I need another comp for my first scene please. (A new computer rolls into view on a state of the business art desktop.) Thanks. (hangs up)
(Psychosis logs on to the computer and looks up bonusstages.com, only to confront a site dedicated to the 360 degrees bonus stage in Sonic 3.)
PSYCHOSIS: What...the...hell?
(Instant scene transition to Hell. A distorted Satan is standing over a confused Psychosis.)
SATAN: THAT'S A SWEAR!!!
{Cut to Hagurumon's house.}
HAGURUMON: Oh, man. This awesome. I don't even remember owning a house.
{A random guy appears with a hat labeled "Realtor".}
REALTOR: That's because you don't!
{The background goes up in flames, and then changes to an outdoors BG.}
HAGURUMON: Oh, crap. I need to find like, a house. But first, I think I'll check the BSWiki.
{Cut to Hagurumon on a computer (which is hooked up outside for some reason), at the BSWiki.}
HAGURUMON: All right, time for the Bonus Stage Updates 2006 page.
{The page opens up, and the newest addition reads:}
'''January 22nd, 2006:''' Bonus Stage seems to be down. It is replaced with a website about Sonic the Hedgehog.
HAGURUMON: What?! Noooooooooo!
(cut to Hydrox, where Rya is chatting with the Bonus Stage versions of Joel, Phil and Elly. Hydrox is in a critical state.)
BS JOEL: I forgot to place something critically important to my invention and this world.
BS PHIL: What?
BS JOEL: The power switch.
(pause)
BS PHIL AND RYA: (simultaneously) You ruined Bonus Stage for a stupid invention?!!!?!
{Rubyrulez walks in}
RUBYRULEZ: What's up with the realtor? Selling your house?
HAGURUMON: Well, apparently I never had a house to begin with. I'm not really even sure where I live.
{Cut to Mandy, sitting at her computer. The computer area is in a loft above her living room.}
MANDY: Well, I've finished my math homework, I've finished my science project, and I've...oh, yeah, that's all I did. Well, I guess it's time to watch Bonus Stage!
{Mandy types "www.bonusstages.com" in the address bar of her browser. It doesn't load--there's just a blank screen.}
MANDY: What the--BONUS STAGE IS DOWN?!? NOOOOOOOOO!
{Mandy jumps out of the loft, landing on her stomach with a loud thud.}
MANDY: ......Ow.
{Rubyrulez and Hagurumon enter the room.}
RUBYRULEZ: Mandy, please tell me you can watch Bonus Stage! {He gets down on his knees.} Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!
MANDY: No! All I got was a blank screen and probably a few broken ribs! Whaddaya think is happening?
RUBYRULEZ: I don't know, all I know is that I need my fix!
MANDY: Me too!
{Mandy hugs Rubyrulez and starts crying.}
HAGURUMON: I need a hug, too. I have feelings just like you Earth-Humans do. {joins in on the hug}
RUBYRULEZ: Wh... Wait, what?
(Cut to Joel and Rya in Joel's Lab.)
RYA: I have one more question: Why did this virus thing cause me and Rya to switch?
JOEL: Dunno. Luck of the Draw, I guess. Pretty hilarious result though, don't you think?
RYA: For you? Sure. For me? No freaking way. I'll have you know I will never make another joke about women again. EVER.
HAGURUMON: Nothing to worry aboot right now. And yes. I just said "aboot". I always do. People who IM me should know these things. Anyway, we need to worry aboot Bonus Stage. One third of my life is gone now.
{That realtor guy appears to the left of the three hugging people. Scene transition to previous scene.}
REALTOR: That's kind of... extreme.
HAGURUMON: WHO ARE YOU?! Leave us alone!
RUBYRULEZ: OK, I think you guys know what comes next...
MANDY: What?
{Cut to Ruby, Mandy and Hagurumon playing X-Box.}
RUBYRULEZ: I've never played this warcraft before! {turns to screen} Does that answer your question, Clan? 2 E-mails are quite enough!
HAGURUMON: Now what?
RUBYRULEZ: Now, we take a road trip, to No Job...
MANDY: You mean New Jersey?
PSYCHOSIS: Maybe.
HAGURUMON: How'd you get here?
PSYCHOSIS: It's called a plot hole.
HAGURUMON: Oh.
(zoom in on Psychosis.)
PSYCHOSIS: And it's a big one at that. I mean, how did I get to America from Australia in three minutes? That's bizarrely wierd. I mean...
(zoom out to reveal Psychosis alone.)
PSYCHOSIS: Oh. Hold on guys!
(Cut to someone in front of a map of the USA.)
ANNOUNCER: Looks like it's time to...
(Scene transition to a gameshow type stage. BS KOKOR and the Stomach King are completely confused.)
ANNOUNCER & AUDIENCE: GUESS THAT PLACE!!!!
(Audience cheers wildly)
CLAN: NO! It's Candice's gravestone! I hate Candice!
PHIL: Well, she used to be my girlfriend until Elly came along.
(Clan hits himself on the head)
MANDY: Ooookaaaaay...now I'm really confused.
RUBYRULEZ: Eh, never mind him, now lets go find out what happened to Bonus Stage! Quick, into my car everybody!
HAGURUMON: I know a faster way...
MANDY: What way is that?
HAGURUMON: We go into the Internet!
{pause}
RUBYRULEZ: COOL! That kicks my plan's butt!
MANDY: I've got a question. And a fang. And a match.
HAGURUMON: What?
MANDY: Please explain to me HOW THE CRAP WE'RE GONNA GET INTO THE INTERNET.
PSYCHOSIS: We'll we're kind of in a toon thing, maybe we can do a "Joel" and cross over to High Score or something. I'm guessing that's were'd they be.
MANDY: 'Nother question.
PSYCHOSIS: Let's hear it.
MANDY: How will we cross toons?
(Psychosis puts up his hand to speak, but starts to question in his head. The words "Andrew", "Elly", "Rya" and "Rayman" appear next to him. Short pause, then zoom out to show that the group is wierded out by the words next to Psychosis.)
PSYCHOSIS: I made Elly cry. AWESOME!!
CLAN: Congratulations! You're a moron! Joel will now sue you for copyright infringement if we don't find a way into the Internet without referencing High Score.
(pause)
PSYCHOSIS: Who's this guy?
MANDY: Just a moron. Don't worry about him.
CLAN: But I'm a smart moron.
HAGURUMON: Is there such a thing?
PSYCHOSIS: Not sure.
MANDY: NO! THERE ISN'T!
{Mandy whacks Clan over the head with a rather large dictionary. She twitches slightly.}
RUBYRULEZ: That seems a bit excessive.
HAGURUMON: Not really.
PSYCHOSIS: So, which way are we going?
(Realtor pops in from no-where with a flamethrower.)
REALTOR: Nowhere.
(roll fake closing credits, at end cut back to previous scene without the Realtor.)
PSYCHOSIS: That was pretty dumb.
HAGURUMON: During this time, I'd like to gr-
MANDY: NO.
HAGURUMON: That's not even what I was going to say. I don't really quote Bonus Stage all that often. Well, actually, yeah I do. And during this time, I'd like to grow some apple trees.
RUBYRULEZ: What good will that do?
HAGURUMON: It'll do your mom.
{A giant Hagurumon appears over Rubyrulez against a red background.}
HAGURUMON: {deep voice} OMEGA PWN!
PSYCHOSIS: Just further proof that religion of any kind (looks at Hagurumon) ruins people.
HAGURUMON: Not as if it was a bad religion.
(Cut to Psychosis standing in a new environment. Behind him are houses in High Score.)
PSYCHOSIS: Still, it's proof.
MANDY: How'd you get there so quick?
PSYCHOSIS: Coz' there's a threshold right there. (points downwards)
(zoom out to reveal a visible line seperating that place they were in before, and where Psychosis is.)
RUBYRULEZ: Oh. Cool, I guess.
CLAN: Mandy doesn't hurt at all.
RUBYRULEZ: I'm separating you two so none of this bulls*** flies tonight.
CLAN: Brilliant idea. I know that the Cloaked Figure is Andrew Wonderful.
PSYCHOSIS: Well, that's one hurdle out of the way.
CLAN: I know, and keep Mandy away from me. I do not wish to kiss her, if that is what she wants.
MANDY: NO! NO! None of this makes sense! I've no desire to kiss Clan! Andrew CAN'T be the Cloaked Figure! It would be physically impossible! Clan's first line made no sense! And Clan, you shouldn't even BE here! You were just a guest star!
{Mandy whacks Clan over the head again, this time with a dead cat, and twitches again.}
PSYCHOSIS: Please get rid of that cat, Mandy.
MANDY: 'Kay.
{Mandy throws the cat over the threshold.}
CLAN: It is physically possible, since Andrew hates Joel and Phil, and threatened to give Rya "exactly what was coming to her". Now just shut up. Wait. Who's running this? Where's Psychomatic?
(Cut to Psychomatic tied to a chair and Phil Argus typing on the Lappy)
PHIL: Muahaha! Now, to make Mandy kiss Clan.
MANDY: You have got to be kidding me. Don't click on those verb links to what I'm here for.
(Phil clicks on Mandy, clicks on verb known as "Make Out", clicks on "Clan rHrN")
MANDY: (sounds like Rya) You have got to be kidding me.
(Cut to Psychosis, bound and gagged to a chair.)
PHIL: Mwaha.
{Cut back.}
HAGURUMON: {while talking, he cancels the command with a remote} Oh, dear. I've got a bad vibe here. What if you two are the reason Bonus Stage isn't working?!
MANDY: Thanks for cancelling that out, and also I hope that isn't the answer.
RUBYRULEZ: Yeah, Matt Wilson's probably just messing with us again.
HAGURUMON: Like that one time?
{Cut to Matt Wilson, posting on the Bonus Stage Forums.}
MATT WILSON: I... love you guys.
{Cut back.}
CLAN: That flashback was pretty pointless.
HAGURUMON: Yeah. Maybe I should stop all the hijinks and solve this mystery. Except... I'm not really capable of that, because I'm stupid and dumb and ugly. And ablutophobic.
MANDY: GACK! WHY? WHY DID MY FIRST KISS HAVE TO BE WITH MY LEAST FAVORITE GUY ON THE INTERWEB? WHYYYYY?!? I NEED SOME MOUTHWASH!
{Everyone looks at Mandy like she's insane.}
HAGURUMON: Uh, Mandy, I stopped him from kissing you.
MANDY: Er...um...sorry. Thanks. Now somebody PLEASE kill him.
CLAN: But a relationship with you could be rewarding! We could punch happy pe--
{Mandy pushes Clan over the threshold.}
HAGURUMON: Good.
(Cut back to Psychosis, who is trying to bite off the rope that is holding him to the chair. Phil is standing there, grinning evilly.)
PHIL: It is my job to create forced relationships.
PSYCHOSIS: Wasn't that Joel's job?
PHIL: He's busy ######## stuff up.
(Scene transition to the High Score universe.)
PSYCHOSIS: And now that I'm out, I can...delete Clan?
MANDY: YesYesYesYesYes!!!
HAGURUMON: Meh.
RUBYRULEZ: Whatever.
CLAN: NO!
MANDY: YES, DAMMIT, YES!
RUBYRULEZ: Well, ladies and germs, I have figured out a way for us to get into the internet. With my latest and greatest and onlyest invention!
{pause}
HAGURUMON: Onlyest?
MANDY: What is it, Ruby?
RUBYRULEZ: My...um...put us into the internet machine thingy.
{Rubyrulez pulls out a computer, which is hooked up to a giant machine, which has a doorway on the side of it.}
(Cut to a grassy hill in some other universe. The 2001 Space Odyssey theme plays as a door to another universe opens, and a distorted gunshot can be heard, and the corpse and blood belonging to Clan enters.)
PSYCHOSIS AND MANDY: (distorted) That bitch is annoying!
(Roll different ending credits)
Fun Facts
Trivia
- After the credits, the following can be heard:
- CLAN: (in a rather distorted voice) I'm not dead. Mandy and Psychosis just insanely ditched me in Charismaville. And why is my nose bloody?
- MANDY: I hit you, you moron.
- CLAN: It's a happy ending.
Bonus Stage References
- What Psychosis means by doing a "Joel" is to cross webtoons, like was done in Just Passion Through and Joel Fights Crime, Phil Rewrites Time.
- Some references from the Bonus Stage episode "Joel Fights Crime, Phil Rewrites Time":
- The options appearing next to Psychosis when he is questioned about crossing webtoons were options in a vote started by Joel.
- Psychosis saying "I made Elly cry. AWESOME!!"
- Clan congratulating Psychosis (with slightly modified lines than Blakken White used).
- Hagurumon saying "During this time, I'd like to gr-" is, if it was completed, would probably be "I'd like to grope Sasha" or "I'd like to grope Mandy".
- The various snippets with the BS crew are from the Charismaville Crisis plot, which is simulataneous with this one.
- Clan thinks Andrew is the Cloaked Figure, because of Rya's death in BS episode "Ryaconning", and because of a lot of evidence that makes it look like Andrew is the Cloaked figure.
- Clan's unfinished comment about punching happy people is a slightly modified quote from Rya's Wedding.
Real World References
- "The" is a word most people use to talk about a specific object.
- Mandy mentioning that she has a fang and a match is a reference to They Might Be Giants. Specifically, it's a reference to the songs "I've Got A Fang" and "I've Got A Match".
