Operation Mucosal Wok
From Plfof
Contents |
Overview
On August 6th, 2006 Operation Mucosal Wok was launched by Marten, Wolverine, Sable, Badger & Ratel retrieving the Sock of Youth from farquette (target indentification: Slippery Skillet) in a barely legal raid timed to her birthday. She unwittingly suggested both the whipped cream and chain herself in the weeks prior to the raid. Agent Marten was awarded a Paperclip Epaulet for the mission.
Summary
TF Panty Raid Birthday Edition - Part 1
Marten: So I've got the chains and two fresh cans of whipped cream, what else did we scrounge up? Sable: Alligator clips, compressed air horn, laundry basket, iron skillet, studded paddle, screwdriver, baby powder... Ratel: And one medium sized watermelon Sable: Yes, and one medium sized watermelon Badger: Oh, well let's not forget about that Wolverine: How does one size a watermelon? Badger: Excuse me? Wolverine: I mean what exactly is a medium sized melon, they all seem rather largish Ratel: One sizes them against other melons, a cross population comparison if you will Wolverine: Oh, okay Sable: ... Badger: ... Marten: Where were we at? Ratel: The size of our watermelon Sable: No, not that, we were on inventory Marten: Okay, let's dump the alligator clips, she was enthused about an initiation but those are sketchy Wolverine: *pouts* Marten: Drop the basket as well, it's unwieldy, we'll split up the rest once we figure out what we're doing Badger: We're keeping the melon? Marten: We keep the melon
TF Panty Raid Birthday Edition - Part 2
Wolverine: Why do we need to commandeer a shed again? Sable: Because she lives with her parents you nitwit Badger: *drives the skillet into the screwdriver with a resounding thud* There you go, the shed's all yours' Wolverine: Do you think anybody will notice? Sable: They're on vacation Wolverine: But the television is on Badger: On Lifetime, it's a ruse, nobody can watch that channel for three hours straight Wolverine: Now where should we set up the chains? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Marten: *unscrews the top from the baby powder* Is that melon hollowed out yet? Ratel: Almost, is this wide enough? Marten: Let's play it safe, we want a tight fit Ratel: Why exactly do we need all of this? Marten: The hard part of chaining somebody up is setting them free again Ratel: Pardon? Marten: It's considerably easier to capture somebody unwittingly than it is to let them go without their taking notice Ratel: Hmph, go figure
TF Panty Raid Birthday Edition - Part 3
Sable: Okay, a car is coming, I think it's her
Marten: Wolverine this is Marten, over
Wolverine: Marten this is Wolverine, reading loud and clear
Marten: Start the countermeasures and proceed to the rendezvous
Wolverine: *sounds off the air horn from his perch behind the house*
Sable: She's out of the car, go, go, go
Badger: *jumps out of the van and makes a flying tackle on their unsuspecting target*
Sable: Quick, get her keys and get her into the van
Ratel: *tosses the keys over while dodging a kick*
Badger: *drags the gagged but resistive bundle to the back of the van*
Ratel: Do you think her parents heard her?
Sable: I hope not, the car is out of the driveway a bit down the block
Marten: *helps lift her in to the back of the van* Let's get out of here
Ratel: Gotcha chief *floors the accelerator*
Badger: Won't her parents be expecting her home?
Marten: It's her birthday, assuming she came home anywhere near the time they were expecting her home we've got at least a
thirty minute grace period
TF Panty Raid Birthday Edition - Part 4
Badger: *clinks the last chain into place* Okay... now what? Ratel: *fumbles with the whipped cream cans* I suppose we use these Marten: Well, the conventional usage is out, any ideas? Sable: Don't look at us like that, it hurts, you asked for this, jokingly albeit Ratel: *sprays a fluffy dairy beard onto her lovely mug* Wolverine: That works, now flip Mrs. Claus over, I hear she's been naughty Badger: Once second... *uses the air horn to administer a navel raspberry she won't soon forget* Sable: Sheer genius Wolverine: *impatiently taps the paddle to his palm* Come on already Marten: *shudders* I'm going to wait outside, let me know when you're done
TF Panty Raid Birthday Edition - Part 5
Marten: *hands over the melon* Fit this over her head why don't you? Sable: Is this some type type of weird fetish you neglected to tell us about? Marten: You're not going to rip the balls off somebody if you're wearing a melon on your head Ratel: Oh, I get it Sable: Everybody grab a chain, we'll release when I count to three Wolverine: Gotcha Sable: One Badger: Four Sable: Two Badger: Seven Sable: Eight.... Stop that!!! Badger: Sorry Sable: Three *drops the chain and bolts for the door* Marten: *Heaves the open powder bottle in behind them* Ratel: Smoke screen, nice *start the ignition* Marten: I thought it was a nice touch *slings a Polaroid up to the passenger window* Ratel: Ready to go? Marten: Wait for it, wait for it... *click* Okay, we're out of here.
