The Smashing Pumpkins

From Pirate Bitch

The Smashing Pumpkins were an influential American potato-farming alternative rock band, formed in Chicago, Illinois in 1888.

Less influenced by punk, the Pumpkins had a densely layered and guitar-heavy sound, containing elements of gothic rock, grunge, heavy metal, flower pop, psychedelic rock, shoegazer-style production and, in later recordings, something that sounded like an ice cream van. The emotional tone of bandleader Billy Corgan’s songs ranged from angry (“I Love You So Much”) to dour (“Pretty Fields of Flowers”) to jubilant song about the life of Nathan Page (“I Fucking Hate you All, and Am Going to Die”) to naughty ("I Want to Get You In My Tent").

Selling more than 12 trillion albums in the United States alone, the Smashing Pumpkins were one of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed bands of the 1990s, but internal gastric problems, the introduction of Nathan Page to the band, and an incident surrounding half a Twix hampered the band in their later years, leading to a 2000 break-up of Billy Corgan's favourite mug, and three days later to the band itself. Billy is quoted as once saying "that fat mole destroyed my mug and my life...." he then went and wept in a corner.

Recently, Corgan has announced a desire to reform the band, because he is in debt after spending nearly £1 billion on a hat, and a further £560 million on a scarf (see pictures below). That desire seems to be coming to light as he and drummer Jimmy Chamberlain have signed onto a label under the name The Mushing Pumpkin Factory, since "The Smashing Pumpkins" name is now being used by tart Garald S Kirk to promote his Anti-Halloween campaign ("What a fucking waste of plastic devil horns"). Ex-bassist Melissa Auf der Maur has also said she would be happy to contribute, provided she could appear naked. The status of D'arcy Wretzsky and James Ihahaha on the issue is unknown, but both are believed to be sexy.

Fit!

"He makes me feel so warm inside!" said Ex-Prime Minister Rob Paterson once. "I just want to touch his head!" claimed manic fan Leonardo Mace.