Mr. Wittiker

From Pirate Bitch

Mr. Wittiker was a character made popular in the sketch show "Warning: May Contain Nuts". The Mr. Wittiker sketches involves a teachers who had many traits that were so similar to a real teacher that it was unrealistic. These traits included:

  • Extreme laziness and a lack of effort put into making student's lives pleasant.
  • An unpredictable temper, and outbursts of violence and abusive lanaguage against pupils and inanimate objects.
  • A hatred of fat people, young people, and other teachers.
  • A habit of walking into lessons wearing no clothes at all.
  • A habit of throwing food at a fat student called Gregory.

One sketch had Mr. Wittiker fired from the school by the Headmaster after reducing a fat child to a quivering wreck. Mr. Wittiker was played by Jamie Tuffield and the fat child by Sam Weston. Zebediah Zane guested as the headmaster.

The Full Casting and Script for Mr. Wittiker Sketch


Casting


Mr. Wittiker - Jamie Tuffield

Gregory the Fat Blob - Sam Weston

Mr. Headmaster - Zebediah Zane

Boy hit by book - Christian "Melvyn" Hometree

Boy hit by book in sexier location - Rob Paterson

Boy reminiscent of a mole - Nathan Page

Boy reminiscent of Andy Pipkin - Andy Forbes

Clive - Ratt-tay

Naked boy - Salestyn David

Sexy Girl #1 - Sarah

Other Girl - Danielle

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