The Kool

From Egs Mayhem

Newly revamped! I have an awesomely long inventory, run two games(only one of which has remained here), and play in a number of games. I've just recently recognized some of my characters as the muses they deserve to be called. I'm trying to get into the spirit of Mayhem, but I'm relatively new, so I haven't been involved in any of the big events like the Crossover Wars.

Okay, I lie. The last time I have kept up with anything here was... a long time ago.


The Kool

The Kool of the forums is a close approximation of the Kool of Real Life, but with Mayhem, this probably won't stay true for long. In fact, he's currently cat-girlified by Kaley, so I guess he isn't anymore. He has decided to forgo use of his clothes at the moment, due to the convenient fur covers all rule, but kept the robe.

I finally drew something! I may eventually draw more, but until then, picture this: Black bandanna with white patterns tied on his head (like a pirate), about an inch of brown hair sticking out underneath, and a layer of stubble that never goes away, as he's too lazy to shave more than twice a year. Blue eyes, tanned skin, tall and well-muscled, despite the fact that he hardly ever works out. He wears a green, blue, and a little bit of white plaid bathrobe over his clothes, hanging open in the front. He has a large collection of T-shirts from a wide variety of sources, but always seems to be wearing the same khaki zip-off cargo pants. Always seems to go around in socks and sandals.

Kool has ADHD, but as he's extremely lazy, one never really notices. Often calls himself Newton's first law in the flesh: "A body in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. A body at rest tends to stay at rest, unless acted upon by an outside force." A hard worker when he puts his hand to it, he prefers to put his hand to fun. In fact, he finds it rather hard to think about anything else.

His preferred weapon is his staff, and it's actually the only thing he carries, since Jimmy has the rest of his inventory stored in his pockets. It's made of adamanthril(an adamantium and mithril alloy, stronger than either of them, and almost as light as mithril, prefect for weapons), looks like the staffs they use in Andromeda, and can extend to any length up to ten feet. It can split in half, and each side can become a sword of any tipe, can have a handle come out to form a pistol, or extend into a rifle, or can be used as an energy saber. The staff can fire energy blasts from either end, and the energy(whether the bolts, or the blade of the saber) can be either red(explosive, and can trade speed for power), blue(stun, paralyzes from the neck down), purple(solid force, doesn't burn), green(TF, with all the options of his guns), or white/silver(just pure light, like a flashlight).

Due to his mind often being lost in other worlds, Kool can ignore reality, being able to determine how physics work in relation to himself and anything/-one he's touching. His mages can also choose to give him their powers, but they rarely choose to do so.

Kool's Muses

Kool's muses are many, few, and with his broiling mind, subject to change. There are many more than what's listed here, but they haven't been seen yet. The structure of these has changed, somewhat. I'll update it someday with more explanation. Until then, just ask.

His muse of Laziness, Schadenfreude, and General Not-Caring-ness is Tim, a veteran of many battles, all four limbs missing, and has various psionic powers such as the ability to levitate, and control over a number of spectral hands. These hands can access his own personal Inventoryspace that includes anything you might find in an army supply tent. ...Okay, perhaps he's an anti-muse, and perhaps he aggravates the others sometimes, but he's still cool.

His muse of Inventiveness, Inspiration, and Adaptability is Jimmy, a cool dude with bottomless pockets full of random junk. He's like the Lego Maniac when it comes to putting stuff together.

His muse of Curiosity, Fun, and Carefreeness is a cat-girl named Kaley, who has the ability to turn other people into cat-girls, as well as documented use of the Cuteness Defense Shield.

His muse of Epic Perfection is Luna, having the looks of an Elf, the wings of a Faerie, and being the size of a Halfling, with somewhat of the qualities of each. She also has the ability to Summon Perfection, which lets her summon anything that may perfect the current situation.

One of his lesser seen muses as of yet is his muse of Destruction, a Lurmen named Jake. He's not really evil, he just likes blowing things up. He can cast Black Magic, and when he gets angry, he becomes, well, a Dire Lurmen. Yes, such things exist. Well, they do now.

Kool also has five minions known as the Five Mages of Kool, and they tend to drive him nuts. It's like having half a dozen conflicting voices in your head instead of just two.

Fluff about the Kool behind the Keyboard

Hmmm, let's see...

  • likes to lose himself in fantasy
  • hates to do work
  • actually does describe himself as Newton's first law in the flesh
  • drinks waaay too much soda for his own good
  • prefers the flavors of root beer, orange, and grape(preferably the brands of A&W, Crush, and Welch's, respectively)
  • always wears the same old blue hat, except during high summer at camp or on the lake, when he wears a black bandanna, except that the old blue hat broke so now he has a new blue hat
  • is ADHD, though is so lazy it never shows
  • unless he gets talking, than you'd better hope you can shut him up
  • is apparently immune to cold, as he can and has gone out in snow in shorts and a t-shirt
  • likes to be warm, however, and will sleep under three blankets in the middle of the summer
  • powers through books like nobody's business
  • can be and is hit with bursts of inspiration at any time of the day or night
  • has been known to waste an entire day thinking up a novel-depth character background


  • 2 Highly customized TF guns
    • many nonstandard forms, such as dragon and pixie
    • randomize
    • rapid-fire
    • delay
    • repeat
    • removable TF saber
    • sniper mode
    • tractor beam mod
  • 1 TF grenade, with many settings
  • 1 Enchanted diamond katana
  • 1 Uryuom work suit
  • 1 Emu
  • 2 Chaos cookies
  • 1 Bag of salt-n-glass cookies
  • 1 Normal(?) cookie
  • 1 jar of Atomic Fireballs
  • 6 Cans unlabeled soda
  • 1 Unmarked pack of what could be gum
  • 1 Mashed potato ball
  • 1 Loaf of bread
  • 1 Can of mackerel
  • 1 Dead fish
  • 1 Catnip mouse
  • 1 Squirrel teddy
  • 1 Used brick
  • 1 Shiny hubcap
  • 1 Button that reads 'El Loco Gato in El Pantalones
  • 1 Moodring
  • 1 Set of markers
  • 1 Grey-Magic pen
  • 1 Infinite scroll of Doom-ish
  • 1 Towel
  • 1 Dewrag in every fancy name of red possible
  • 1 Decorated yo-yo
  • 1 Infinite bag of dice
  • 1 Super-bouncy ball
  • 1 Magic color-changing slinky
  • 1 Laser pointer w/teal beam
  • ~ Random things
  • Some Brownie points!
  • A few favors from Ting-Yi
  • 1 chocolate Ting-Yi statuette with the ears bitten off
  • 1 handmade CAT5 cable


Links retained for completeness. They are horribly outdated. I may one day update them.

TF-RP: Tedd(/Tess) Forces Pageturner RP List of Kool's Characters

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