Keep me alive! (Or the Alphabet gets it)

From Egs Mayhem

This thread is an exercise in unchecked power and rampant...well...something bad. And to think, it started from something so innocuous...


The Innocuous Beginning

It all started as an insecure post by Kyrio to see if people liked him. Though the responses from everyone were indeed overwhelmingly in the affirmative, the inherent chaos of Mayhem ensured that the message of the thread would be derailed into many more entertaining venues. But like many of the entertaining threads which pop up every so often, this one seemed doomed to fade into the obscurity of the lower pages...

The Descent

No one knows what motivated the creator of the thread to unleash what he did next.

  • Some say it was a bad reaction to low self esteem.
  • Some say his insecurity compelled him to take up the dark arts.
  • Some say he was prescient, and decided that doing so would be amusing to many.
  • Some even say he was aiming for something smaller and just happened to say Hastur's name a few too many times.

Whatever the cause, the creator took up the art of Necromancy and raised his thread from the second page. Doing so had no immediate ill effect, and it lasted for another couple of hours. But as it began to fade again, he pulled the same trick. This happened a few too many times, and the creator's madness became apparent. And as many know, insanity sometimes leads to awesome powers, just as (tragically) proved to be the case here.

The Premise

The thread became something along the lines of the Merch. If the thread failed to be maintained, a letter of the alphabet would be destroyed. Regardless of which letter is destroyed, this would be a catastrophe. People's whole reading lists would be rendered illegible, and the phrase "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" would lose its meaning entirely.

If recent actions are any indication, the destruction will not stop at letters. Entire syntactical concepts could be annihilated. Diction as we know it might die an agonizing death!

The Action

Letters have been destroyed before. However, the initial disaster was stopped by the timely intervention of Lomgren's white magic. Letters have since been destroyed. A glimmer of hope appeared momentarily, as Drow Bunny's initial confusion and literalness caused him to instead lose "x", the most unused letter in the alphabet (except, of course, for わ. Nobody uses わ very much). Lomgren has worked tirelessly to revive all of the letters, but what about the future?

The killing was soon appended to by Burningblood, though he was killing things at random with no discernible motive. Kyrio, with a gleam of good character, put a stop to it, and stripped Burningblood of his use of punctuation. Burningblood then attempted a summoning, but failed when the incantation required a semicolon. He was then refused access to spaces, although he has since regained these facilities.

The Lawsuit

Lomgren's magical reversal of Kyrio's Lv7 Death spell on the letters he had killed was soon discovered by local natural judiciary unit, Mewtarthio (though his credentials as such were never brought up), and he set about convicting Lomgren for upsetting the natural order by his vigilante actions against Kyrio. However, Kyrio was equally found guilty through his attempt to revive the thread in the first place. Lomgren was then sentenced to a severe and stingy wrist slapping, while Kyrio was merely stripped of his power and banished to a null-magic plane.

The Conclusion

In the end, Kyrio surrendered the Win to Lomgren, and emancipated all the literary elements under his power. The thread is now nothing more than a chat thread, but perhaps some new catastrophe will arise?

For a while it took the form of a word game, in which a word was posted by Kyrio, and others make as many words from the letters of the word as they can.

Currently the thread has mutated into a vaguely Carrot..?-ish random RP/chat thread, and has been re-titled "The KMA Thread". (This is noted here, to avoid confusion.)


  • This is one of the few threads turned completely random RPs that had nothing to do with transformation.
  • This is the first random RP Kyrio has actively participated in.
  • Burningblood is known to be a liar.
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