Mayhem Laws of Physics
From Egs Mayhem
Believe it or not, there are actually many laws of physics that govern Mayhem. These generally are, however, vastly different from those of Earth.
Some of the Laws
1: Don't piss off the bartender of the RP. You usually get blasted or hit by
2: Super Bouncer. the bouncer of said bar is uber strong
3: No ID Checks
4: If a character is being played by Kum-El someone will fall in love with him before the day is done
4b: Especially 10.
5: There WILL be one character every one, including the writer, hates
6: If there are no powers or magic, expect Super Tech
7: 10 will play a female with a screwed up past
8: No matter how wierd or abnormal, people will ALWAYS be accepted, and able to find 'true love'.
9: 10's girl will likely prove the above rule correct
10: School RPs always have a love potion of some kind
11: Lesbians will always outnumber gay boys by a factor of at least 3
12: There will be one Anthro or morphing chacracter. Period.
13: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
14: The GM is evil
15: Nobody likes the Nurse. Nobody.
16: If a character is A: female and B: played by Yun, she will invariably be mentally unbalanced
17: Creators MUST be evil to at least one character
18: If a character has an Angsty backround, they will no doubt Angst about it to as many other PC's as possible.
19: Fear anything that has BTC after it unless you are a dirty Pervert. Also known as the Greg Rule
20: All of Kylen's characters are ethnically Irish, without exception
21: All of Sanchay's characters are insufferably cute
22: Don't think hammerable thoug-*Hammered.*
23 (Alexis Rule): This looks reaaaal bad, but hear me ou---
24: Bob can play any role and do it well
25: The HotTub is for girls to make love
26: No, the boys cannot watch. Ever.
26a: Unless it is important to plot
27: there is a good chance 10's girl wll have somthing wrong with her left arm, why is unknown
28: Anyone made by Kylen will control fire or have wolf ears and tail.
29: Anyone made by Yun will involve lightning, ravens, and/or Korea
30: 1337 Will NOT be tolerated.
31: No, you many NOT have a Katana called Masamune. Ever.
31a: Unless the GM okays it, but it turns out to be a POC
32: There are two forms of Posting: Long, novel style and Short, POST NOW DAMN IT style
33: Lomgren posts like crazy
34: The GM will never post fast enough, or be on long enough to move the plot
35: Every RP will have at least one page populated entirely by only two posters
35a: These posters' characters are almost always on the verge of at least making out
35b: These posters' character's are in extreme danger
36: Someone will always be disconnected from the interent at a critical plot point.
37: There must be one Technomancer unless there is no tech.
37a: And, if there is no tech, there will be an Inventor who can make tech
38: No one remains single for the whole RPG no matter how hard they try
39: if 10's girl is talking about a rose it always means the same thing: she is a virgin.
40: There will always be a triangle
41: Law of Tablewear Nonexistance: There is no Spoon.
41a: There will be a long list of jokes only certain people will get
41b: Most of these will occur on Library Books.
42: There will be one martial arts expert
42a: He will be an old man.
42b: He will be Asian.
42c: he will be replaced with in 2 years, by some younger guy
43: There will always be one ultra-feminist whom no one likes
44: There will be an evil organization
44a: They will be stronger than the good guys but still lose to a bunch of students
45: If you get Deadlocked in a relationship with an inactive character, bad luck.
46: If Avenara makes a male character, no matter if he was meant to be straight, he always ends up gay.
47: There are always 3 characters who start out unable to speak English
47a: But they will be able to communicate through other means.
48: At least one character will have/has a sibling with a military background
49: At least one char will have an animal cohort
50: Anyone who controls Electricty will have found out about their ability by frying their Computer/MP3/Phone/Robot Dog.
51: All of Yun's characters are at least bilingual
51a: Even if he has to make up the second language himself
52: At least one of Kylen's characters will be curtained for violence or otherwise at least once in the first 200 pages Of said character's involvement in RP
53: What happens BTC doesn't always stay BTC
54: BTC will always mean Behind the Curtain.
55: If a character has a secret that they want to keep hidden from other characters, it will always always be revealed when they think no-one is watching.
55a: They will do one of two things: Tell nobody, or tell everybody. There is no middle ground.
56: Certain characters always seem to be quiet for strangely long periods of time before suddenly speaking up, while others are always talking
57: If something is revealed OOC it will be reveal IC with in a page or less
58: Fawe's characters will be stalkers at least once in the RP
59: Romance Sense SUCKS!
60: Any bad habits held by a character will be broken by another
61: Anything that is set up for a cliche ending will have said ending
62: There will be a Wiki in under a month or 2 of no plot movement
63: There will always be a diagram of the dorms, but not the important places
64: Six months of character development will be crammed into two days of action because the thread moves too slowly
64a: No one is ever knocked out for a week
65: If a character says that he/she is "Invincible, Indestructible, Unbeatable or Immortal", they will be proven very wrong in the next five pages.
66: The little girl always kicks the big guys butt
67: Kylen's characters get shagged with in a day of meeting a significant other
68: There is always at least one catgirl
69: No, your character may not have 'One-Winged Angel' as their theme music.
70: No PC is ever really unremarkable
71: The GM is not only god, but usually in love with irony
72: While a day may take 200 pages to go by, a plane trip will only take two.
73: Nothing important happens during time warps
74: [something] always mean a curse word
75: Themes are kick ass. All importaint character's have one
76: Anyone with a peculiar accent or speaking habit will generally drop it.
76a: Any character which does not speak English will learn to do so improbably fast
76b: Or learn the Common language through magic and/or a dream.
77: There will always be a reference to a webcomic
78: If someone makes a point to say something is useless or ordinary, it most likely just looks that way and is REALLY useful and exotic.
79: One hour must take at least 3 days OOC
80: Wounds heal improbably fast as well
81: Don't question DEM. Ever.
81a: DEM can be what ever the hell it wants to be
82: Evil plotting will always occur OOC, also Murphy's Law has particular sway IC
83: People in love are always at Murphy's mercy, of which there is none
84: Characters may have Asian names, even if they have no Asian heritage whatsoever.
85: Knock!
86: Kum-El will have a free male. Ten will have a free female. 86a: They will get together.
87: No matter what the RP is about, Piebunny will find some way to put Marco and Marci in it.
87a: They will become inactive very quickly.
88: None can resist the puppy dog eyes.
89: None of Piebunny's characters will ever become romantically involved.
89a: EVER.
89b: Particularly and especially not Marco and Marci.
90: Cameo's RPs will be faster than light.
90a: Piebunny's will crash and burn.
Exceptions
18: Sarah.
50: Travis.
67: Kylie and Amber.
70: Kevin.
76: Ed Bunny.
85: Will.
90: Driftersverse and Wingies. 90a: The Massive Flaming Plane Crash Thread. (Although, since the plane itself crashes and burns....)
