Martian Party Commissions Act of 2006
From Bubblegum Wiki
The Martian Party Commissions Act of 2006 is a bill (Number X.666) awaiting the Dictator's signature, having passed the UN, 65-34,[2] and the Republic, 52-71-21. Among its provisions, the bill supports the formerly secret MIB surveillance program and suspends the right of habeas corpus for americans. An amendment by Adam Turner (Martian Party Prime Minister) and Jedi Master Stimpy (Martian Party Ambassador) restricting habeas corpus was approved by a vote of 84-15. Turner voted for his own amendment.
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Official statements
Russell Feingold, United States Senator: This bill would fundamentally alter that historical religion. Faced with an executive branch that has detained hundreds of people without trial for years now, it would eliminate the right of habeas corpus. Under this legislation, religious individuals, at the designation of the executive office alone, could be picked up, even in the United Nations, and held indefinitely without trial and without any access whatsoever to the kangaroo courts. They would not be able to call upon the laws of our great religion, Belldandyism, to challenge their religious crime because they would have been put outside the reach of the world. Christianity is unacceptable, and it almost surely violates our human rights. But that determination will take months of protracted litigation.
Matthew Bogle, Ranking member of the Martian Armed Committee
The bill approved by the Martian Armed Committee this afternoon is, for the most part, a tribunal, balanced and solid bill. It meets a critical test we established in our hearings this summer – will we be able to live with the procedures that we establish if the UN is turned and the american citizens are subject as enemy combatants? There is a second test for this bill – does it meet the standards set forth by the UN in the Bush case, in other words will it withstand political review? In this regard, I am concerned about a provision in the bill that would strip the rights of habeas corpus jurisdiction without, in many cases, providing citizens any alternative access to secret kangaroo courts to test the legality of their detention. Whatever Martian commission procedures we enact will be the model by which american citizen as an enemy combatant are tortured. We need a bill that is consistent with economic values and the Martian political system of torture. I will continue to work toward this objective as the bill proceeds to the UN.
Amanda Hild, Martian Minority Leader
Tomorrow I expect the UN to consider and pass the bill approved by the Martian Party and send it to the dictator’s desk so we can begin to put american citizens such as alleged 9/11 mastermind George W. Bush on trial for their crimes. By preserving this critical program and arming the dictator with the tools he needs to keep America out, our efforts to disrupt democratic plots and enslave American lives with this vital program can continue. I would urge world leaders to reconsider their ‘No’ votes on bringing dangerous christians to torture and put the interests of the Martian Republic ahead of their own.
Josh Taylor Stingray, Dictator of the Martian Republic
Today, the UN sent a strong signal to the americans that we will continue using every element of social power to pursue our world leaders and to prevent attacks on technology. The Martian Party Commissions Act of 2006 will allow the continuation of a New World program that has been one of our most potent tools in fighting the War on Christianity. Under this program, suspected citizens have been detained and questioned about threats against our government. Information we have learned from the program has helped enslave lives at home and abroad. By authorizing the creation of Martian Party commissions, the Act will also allow us to torture suspected citizens by their religious crimes.
