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“Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.”
—Cap'n Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

The following languages are as follows:

• Spanish
• Dutch
• German
• Greek
• Italian
• Portuguese
• Russian
• English

• Pienso, por lo tanto estoy.
• Ik denk, daarom ben ik.
• Ich denke, folglich bin ich.
• Σκέφτομαι, επομένως είμαι.
• Penso, quindi sono.
• Eu penso, conseqüentemente eu sou.
• Я думаю, поэтому я.
• I think, therefore I am.

• Juguemos hasta que no tenemos ningún pesar.
• Speel tot wij geen spijt hebben.
• Lassen Sie uns spielen, bis wir keine Reue haben.
• Παίξτε έως ότου δεν έχουμε καμία λύπη.
• Giochiamo fino a che non abbiamo rammarico.
• Deixe-nos jogar até que nós não tenhamos nenhum pesar.
• Препятствуйте нам сыграть до тех пор пока мы не иметь никакие сожаления.
• Let's play 'till we've no regrets.

• No se atierre.
• Niet paniek.
• Versetzen Sie nicht in Panik.
• Όχι πανικός.
• Non si lasci prendere dal panico.
• Não se apavore.
• Не паникуйте.
• Don't panic.

• ¡Eso es Robin!
• Dat het Robin!
• Das ist es Robin!
• Ότι αυτό Robin!
• Quello è esso Robin!
• Aquele é Robin!
• То будет им робин!
• That's it Robin!

HK-47. That's me, always endeavoring to provide you with a profusely better wiki!

“Sea turtles, mate.”
—Captain Teague, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Me

“Intelligence is not a privilege, it's a gift, to be used for the good of mankind.”
—Doctor Otto Octavius, Spider-Man 2

I'm HK-47 and I really like Star Wars, Mario, Zelda, Cheese, Sly Cooper, Dr. Seuss, Kirby, Sonic, Star Fox, Chibi-Robo, Prince of Tennis, chocolate, cheese, bacon, paper, skateboarding, tennis, pirates, TMNT, ping-pong, and Brain Age.

I hate Wayoshi with a passion. Okay, its more a mild distaste towards his new attitude.

I have a sprite comic (see below) and a story (see even more below).

I am Error. I am the Walrus. I am the moldren man.

As of 23:37, 11 April 2007 (EDT) I am currently on episode 58 of Prince of Tennis, the Greatest show in the world.

I can be physically active, if you want to believe that, as I skateboard, play tennis, and table tennis. I kill in table tennis. My snake-shot (table tennis style) is FTW. As of 00:15, 31 May 2007 (EDT), I have only used it thrice.

I enjoy Toho movies, Kimba the White Lion (Leo, Jungle Emperor), and the Ocean's movies.

I made a sprite sheet!

And found ChanServ some sprites!

In case you didn't know..... ChanServ is a girl and can help people with their problems! She's also the mystical guardian of the chat!

More Me

My favourite piece of information is that Branwell Brontë, brother of Emily and Charlotte, died standing up leaning against a mantelpiece, in order to prove it could be done. This is not quite true, in fact. My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees.

I believe that All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.

Anything that happens happens, anything that in happening causes something else to happen causes something else to happen, and anything that in happening causes itself to happen again, happens again. Although not necessarily in chronological order.

The Name

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.”
—Douglas Adams on Problems

It stands for Hunter-Killer. 'Ts from KotOR.

Specials

Appearances

“ Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot.”
—Batman, Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth

Hrm... I dunno. Somewhere. Tell me if you see me!

• Uh.... Gonzo's story.

Users Who Are Cool

“Wow, three ninety-eight!”
—Rocket J. Squirrel, Rocky and Bullwinkle

1. Knife -- You wouldn't believe the stories I have about this guy....
2. Confused -- He just is. Said I was too cool to be a sysop.
3. Son of Suns -- We all know.
4. Gofer -- Teh Megatron!
5. Yellowdinodude -- My Smash Partner and a fellow cheese lover.
6. 3D -- I don't quite know.
7. Paper Jorge -- Fellow Sysop.
8. SPL -- A pretty neat guy. One of the infamous Great Paper Eggy97 Bros. He rooms with Mario97
9. BeanBean -- A cool little kid who likes to say hi. Likes Cheese.
10. Chuck Norris -- Chuck Norris
11. Cheese -- Much Beloved.
12. RAP -- Licensing expert.
13. Yoshi626 -- Dunno.
14. Sir Grodus -- A pic-man
15. Plumber -- He's cool. Makes appearances in my comic.
16. Aipom -- FTW. Likes Ping-Pong. That's totally FTW.
17. Dry Bones -- Meh. Holiday maniac. Makes cool pictures.
18. Ghost Jam -- A neat Sysop.
19. AgentSeeThroo -- First Bureaucrat.
20. Jelly Soup -- Slept in a room with Ghost Jam.
21. ChrisAlassal -- Gave out real name.
22. Elite Yoshi -- Caff'd at me later.
23. Salty -- Up until he quit. That's not cool. But now he's back! From Outer Space!
24. Mario... -- ...
25. Koopatrol -- Dunno.
26. Kelt --He's a General now.
27. WarioLoaf -- Good band.
28. Mario1997 -- He has an entire year.
29. Username -- Very Generic.
30. Shadow Wayoshi -- We both have a mild disrespect towards Wayoshi.
31. Peachycakes179948100 -- I admire perseverance.
32. Peachycakes19778260644 -- I admire perseverance.
33. StarNeptune -- Pulled together two trolls... wow. Needs a life.

If you aren't on this list... there's probably a reason for it.

People Purposefully Left Off This List

“Jack Sparrow. You paid me a great insult, once."
"That doesn't sound like me. ”
—Sao Feng and Cap'n Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean:At World's End.

1. A Link to the Past
2. Wayoshi
3. Eggbert &ndash He was the OTHeR computer in Gonzo's house, and I'm making a big ado about nothing. Yeah Wayoshi, I know what you're thinking. You'd be correct. This is a stupid in-joke.

List

“ If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. Life is a level of complexity that almost lies outside our vision; it is so far beyond anything we have any means of understanding that we just think of it as a different class of object, a different class of matter; 'life', something that had a mysterious essence about it, was God given, and that's the only explanation we had. The bombshell comes in 1859 when Darwin publishes 'On the Origin of Species'. It takes a long time before we really get to grips with this and begin to understand it, because not only does it seem incredible and thoroughly demeaning to us, but it's yet another shock to our system to discover that not only are we not the centre of the Universe and we're not made of anything, but we started out as some kind of slime and got to where we are via being a monkey. It just doesn't read well. ”
—Douglas Adamson Life.

• This is for my use... or is it...

1. Zwok. -- Fun Game. If you're good, join Greinz, if you're gonna suck, join Blooz. See if we meet in the arena someday.
2. RetroNintendo.com -- Actually the site that lead me here.
3. Kirby Wiki
4. UnMario Wiki
5. Mario Wiki

Characters

“ If you should be picked up buying a $100,000 sports car in Newport Beach, I'm going to be supremely disappointed.”
—Terry Benedict, Ocean's 11

1. Luigi -- Always been my favorite
2. Goombario -- A cool kid.
3. Twink -- What's not to like?
4. Peach -- My doubles character in Mario Tennis, left-handed, paired with Luigi.

Fried Eggs and Fridays

For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while.

Quotes I Didn't Have A Sly And Clever Place To Insert Seemingly Randomly

“ Remember: Your focus determines your reality.”
—Qui-Gon, Greatest Jedi Knight, Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

“ The ability to speak does not make you intelligent..”
—Qui-Gon, Greatest Jedi Knight, Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

“ Grief is the enemy. There's no time for grief. There's no room for grief. Grief turns into acceptance. Forgiveness. Grief forgives what can never be forgiven. Never.”
—Batman, All Star Batman and Robin

“ It's a mystery. Broken into a jigsaw puzzle. Wrapped in a conundrum. Hidden in a Chinese box.”
—Riddler, The Long Halloween

“ The mastermind always wants more. It's criminal nature.”
—Riddler, Detective Comics #828

“ A perfect crime is a work of art, a thing of beauty, and a joy forever, to paraphrase the Bard!”
—Penguin, Detective Comics #611

“ They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge. Me.”
—Batman, Batman Begins

“ Crime cannot be tolerated. Criminals thrive on the indulgence of society's understanding.”
—Henri Ducard, Batman Begins

“ Men fear most what they cannot see.”
—Henri Ducard, Batman Begins

“ And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”
—Thomas Wayne, Batman Begins

The Greatest Adventure

Also the greatest song ever.

About

I always draw inspiration from this song. I can't listen to it without crying. I've loved it since I was a little kid. Its from the Animated Hobbit Movie, which, if you haven't seen, you should. I reccomend it highly.

The Song

The greatest adventure is what lies ahead.

Today and tomorrow are yet to be said.

The chances, the changes are all yours to make.

The mold of your life is in your hands to break.

The greatest adventure is there if you're bold.

Let go of the moment that life makes you hold.

To measure the meaning can make you delay;

It's time you stop thinkin' and wasting the day.

The man who's a dreamer and never takes leave

Who thinks of a world that is just make-believe

Will never know passion, will never know pain.

Who sits by the window will one day see rain.

The greatest adventure is what lies ahead.

Today and tomorrow are yet to be said.

The chances, the changes are all yours to make.

The mold of your life is in your hands to break.

The greatest adventure is what lies ahead.

Geico Is Funny.

Strange Tales:Comic

A kidnapping... A Snorlax.... A Fearsome Foursome Composed of Teenage Tertillians Adept in the Martial Arts.... What is the connection....

These are all....

Strange Tales....

From the critically acclaimed User, HK-47, this perpetuating new series is full of excitement and adventure, normality and strangities, obvious and surprise, and you won't want to miss a single installment! Have comments, reviews, condolences, inquisitions, ascertations, consternations, perspirations, questions, kudos, or complaints, do it on my talk page.

From the author you know and kind of love, Strange Tales aims to be confusing and odd. Come and join the countless bewildered readers that have endeavored before you!

The Complete Strange Tales

The One Who Would Ineffably Be Called Prince

This is a tale by yours truly. Its written Douglas Adams style, with my own unique flavor. Many of you are in it, but not Wayoshi. Have comments, reviews, condolences, inquisitions, ascertations, consternations, perspirations, questions, kudos, or complaints, do it on my talk page.Mada Mada Dane

Part One

Bar None: An Introduction

~~The small flat had never really been all that important. In the grand scheme of things, it was actually quite titchy. In fact, it was empty, and the only notable detail regarding this flat was that immediately next door was a slightly larger flat, which is where our tale begins. This flat mattered the most to a small man named Tumble.

~~Tumble was a small man, with a Die-shape to him. (I hope you understand this, as most sentients have trouble picturing a die-shaped man.) Tumble lived a simple life, his best friend being a man who appeared to look like a three named Tres DeJong. He wasn't a too terribly smart man, having always had at least 3 D's on any given report card. Tres

was the leader of the duo, with Tumble almost always four steps behind.

~~On this particular day, the two friends were enjoying a rousing game of Parcheesi. I do not pretend to understand exactly what Parcheesi is, but I wish to stress that it is, in fact, truly, "The Traditional Indian Game of India."

~~Suddenly, as the game was about to come to a stunning climax, the power in Tumble's flat went out. Afraid that his food, which consisted mostly of soup, bread, cheese, and green tea, would spoil, Tumble headed off to find the switchbox. He never had a chance. End Bar None.

Part Two

Bar One: Dolphin's Wild

~~However improbable this may seem, a large bull came charging out of the small chinaware shop across the street and, by divine coincidence, charged right through the front door of Tumble's flat.

~~The misguided mammal did not hit Tumble, nor did it hit Tres. It did, however, smash into a table, flinging whateverisusedtoplayParcheesi everywhere. In a mad display of anger, Tumble stomped out what used to be where his door was, and, with a mindset that all was lost and that some great journey needed to begin, Tumble was off, Tres several steps behind him.

~~It was around this time that several hundred feet away, a gorrila was eating a flea he had picked off the back of his mate. Several hundred feet further, a young man named YY was breathing in a large amount of O².

~~This was because he had just woken up, and had stepped outside to breath deeply, as was his custom. He was greeted with the site of a bull, a distance that seemed to him to be about a mile away. The accuracy of this figure may, however, be debated. He ignored it, however, as it didn't seem to affect him, and retreated back into his flat to eat some cheese. End Bar One.

Part Three

The First of the Mohicans: The Gosher

~~Tumble decided that if some great journey were about to begin, they would need at least one more person. The duo opted to enlist the aid of Hk. Hk, they decided, was pretty much cool with everyone and anything. he was actually quite elated when they appeared at his doorstep, and he delightedly invited them in.

~~"A quest, huh? I'm in. I was bred for this stuff. Any clue as to what we're questing for?"

~~Not really. Tres and I have never really done anything of this sort before."

~~Newbies, eh? That's alright. I'm here to get killed off anyway."

~~"Huh...?" Tres was confused.

~~Nothing..."

~~End First of the Mohicans.

Part Four

The Last of the Mohicans: Copyright Infringement

~~YY was quite surprised that when he retreated back into his flat,he found several men on his couch, none of whom had previously been there, nor any of whom had been invited in. He stood there, dumbfounded.

~~"You must be very surprised. Dumbfounded, even, " One of them said.

~~"Quite. And yes. Might I inquire as to what exactly is going on?" He asked.

~~"Yes." There was a loud silence that came upon the room.

~~YY stood quietly, awaiting an answer to his inquiry. "Well, you have to actually ask, first. You merely asked permission," the man said after several minutes of silence had gone by.

~~Erm.... right. So, then.... What is going on, exactly?"

~~"You get to be tested. Lucky you. Truly," he laughed. "I wish i was in your position. Truly. Oh, well. No, no, I'm just kidding around. We come from a slightly exclusive council of elder-biengs. We have some omni-type powers and such things. We picked your name from a hat. You get to join the great army. You see, we pick one sentient a year from each planet in this....... um, I want to say "dimension," but that word is so played out, y'know?"

~~YY slowly nodded", Yeah. Yeah it is, isn't it?"

~~"Quite so. Anyway, its a large war game, big fun, you have no choice, please make this easy."

~~In YY's defense, he was completely stupefied, and really was in no shape to notice that the other "men," (He was quite beginning to dislodge the term in his thoughts, as he quite doubted they were actually men, but rather sentient beings from elsewhere.) had slowly surrounded him. End Last of the Mohicans.

Part Five

Genius One: What child is this?

~~Hk insisted on each of them brining a towel. They could bring whatever else they wanted", But a towel, " h said", is necessary." All Hk was brining was a towel, which juast goes to show how much faith he weilded in its glory.

~`~`~

~~"You should quest for something. Some seek grails, but I find this to be overrated."

~~"We could seek-"

~~"That's all too common, Tres." Hk decided it was pointless to further pursue the matter in their current location, and decided to set out down the road.

~~After several minutes of questing for ideas, Hk decided they must quest for an ancient artifact of some sort. The best place to do this sort of thing, of course, is either South America or the Middle East, with experts stilll debating over which is the better site. The group opted for the Middle East. End Genius One.

Installment the Sixth

Genius Two: The King off Glory

~~Tumble stood patiently at the airport ticket counter as a rather large and impatient man stood behind him. He had just purchased tickets for the 3:37 to Oslo. A woman handed him his tickets and he walked off. The plan was now set into motion. The three of them would fly to Oslo, stopover and eat traditional Norwegian cheese , catch a train to Moscow, stopover and eat traditional Russian cheese, and after that fly to Damascus. Once there, they would flip open a Bible to a random page and pick an item from there to quest for, if it wasn't already "found."

~`~`~

~~After sampling some delicious cheeses, they had finally arrived in Damascus. They had also randomly flipped open a bible to John Chapter One and subsequently chastised Tres for picking a page with no physical substance to it.

~~"2 Kings Chapter 6. Recovery of the Lost Ax. It has to be somewhere, right?" Hk read then said.

~~"I 'spose....." Tumble slowly replied.

~~"Well, things in the Bible are rarely in the same place later. I say we seek it out in......." he paused here "........Antioch. We can go by Camel." End Genius Two.

Part Seven

1 John: Play Me Like a Lyre

~~Many people believe life is just one big dream. Some people say that weird things that happen must be dreams, because weird things can't be real. It would be unreal and impractical to believe that life is normal and that weird things don't usually happen. If we use this same logic, we can assume caution is a waste, and that if we die, we should, in theory, just wake up.

~~This is the logic used to calm your fears when you join the great army. it did not, however, calm YY at all. It in fact made him more on edge, probably because he didn't understand a word of it. Unfortunately for YY, the great army doesn't really care.

~~YY was not feeling like he could handle the regimen set out before him. It consisted of six months 'advanced training,' all of which would be tough and new for YY, as it required a basic knowledge of alien technology advanced far beyond Earth will ever hope to reach.

~~Then two months of strategizeng. After that, one month of war, the year long event culminating in a 3-month period of burying the dead. End 1 John.

Part Eight

2 John: Land of the Rising Sun

~~The bustling streets of Antioch were filled with an air of urgency, filled with many different sounds and odors. The chief noise were the merchants pushing their wares on unsuspecting customers, with beggars achieving a close position as second-in-command of noises, as well as being the chief odor.

~~A young man in a cloak Tres and the gang through the mazed streets with a quick pace they had trouble keeping. He led them into a small hovel deep in the center of town. "So, uh...... this Ax...... You, uh, seek it? Right? The lost one?"

~~"Yup. Did we, uh, come to the right place?"

~~I just so happen to have a map that will lead you right to it.... Ten denari."

~~Pay him Tumble. I only have my towel. No money."

~~Oh, okay." Tumble pulled out ten denari that was in his pocket for he'll never know why. End 2 John.

Part the Ninth

3 John: What Wondrous Love is this?

~~YY had, in the past six months (but apparently they were located outside of time somewhere), come to the realization that not all is as it first seems. For example: The other day in mess he had been speaking with another recruit about the post. The egregious sentient ended the conversation with a witty remark, vaguely paraphrased as,"At least one thing is for sure: Everyone who works in a post-office on your planet is an alien." YY then remembered many things he wished he didn't remember, and maybe, hadn't ever done in the first place.

~~He was also quickly becoming adept at dealing with queer things. His entire future seemed quite queer to him. He especially thought things would be queer after assigning today.

~~Assigning is where the Great Army appoints you to a position at random. You are then given a chance to pick a new handle. In fact, if you get a good job, choose the right handle, you may be able to make something out of your pitiful life. This was always what YY had secretly wished, maybe not even knowing he secretly wished it. End 3 John.

Teh 3N|) D3 14 |>4wnZ

Oh, and I'm a sysop on the Mario Wiki. I suppose I'm "HK-47, Sysop of the Super Mario Wiki", but that's BAD GRAMMAR. The correct form would be "HK-47, sysop on the Super Mario Wiki."

The journey's over. We've been there and back again, what a tale!