From Vandalwiki

[edit] ARSEHOLE UNIVERSITY IS THE MAIN RIVAL TO SHITHOLE UNIVERSITY. IT DOES BASICALLY EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS BUT ITS NAME IS ARSEHOLE UNIVERSITY INSTEAD OF SHITHOLE. ARSEHOLE UNIVERSITY ALSO FEATURES RIDICULOUSLY OVERPOWERED SECURITY WHO HAVE SHOTGUNS, MACHETES, ASSAULT CANNONS, GRENADE LAUNCHERS AND ALL SORTS OF OTHER SHIT NO NORMAL UNIVERSITY'S SECURITY NEEDS. OCCASIONALLY THE TWO SECURITY TEAMS WILL GO TO WAR WITH EACH OTHER. SINCE THEY HAVE SO MANY WEAPONS AND THEY ARE ALL SO FUCKING INSANE, THESE WARS REGULARLY COMPLETELY DEVASTATE UNIVERSITYTOWN. THE CASULATIES ARE OFTEN EXTREMELY HEAVY WITH MANY STUDENTS AND SECURITY GUARDS FROM BOTH UNIVERSITIES DYING. THE ONES WHO ARE JUST HORRIBLY INJURED AND MANGLED ARE RECYCLED AND SENT BACK TO FIGHT IMMEDIATELY BY THE DEAN. AT ARSEHOLE UNIVERSITY, ANY STUDENT WHO DIES TRYING TO KILL A SECURITY GUARD FROM SHITHOLE UNIVERSITY IS AUTOMATICALLY AWARDED THEIR DEGREE. IF THE STUDENT MANAGES TO KILL AN ENEMY SECURITY GUARD, THEY ARE GIVEN THEIR DEGREE IMMEDIATELY AND ALSO AN EXTRA DEGREE IN "MURDER AND DESTRUCTION". THE VALUE OF THE "MURDER AND DESTRUCTION" DEGREE IS SOMEWHAT DEBATABLE. OF THE STUDENTS AWARDED THE DEGREE OVER THE PAST 200 YEARS, ONLY FOUR HAVE SURVIVED FOR LONGER THAN SIX MONTHS AFTER GRADUATION. THE REST WERE SLAUGHTERED BY THE DEAN OF SHITHOLE UNIVERSITY. WELL, PROBABLY. DEGREES FROM ARSEHOLE UNIVERSITY ARE A LITTLE MORE PURPLE BUT OTHERWISE THEY'RE EXACTLY THE SAME. IF TWO STUDENTS HAVE THE SAME NAME, THEY CAN EVEN SWAP THEIR DEGREES AND IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH WORTHLESS AND SHITE. IT'S NOT LIKE EITHER UNIVERSITY KEEPS ANY MUCH KIND OF A RECORD OF WHOM THEY HAND OUT THEIR SHITTY DEGREES TO. THE ADMINISTRATION OFFICES WERE LONG AGO CONVERTED INTO PILLBOXES TO DEFEND THE CAMPUS FROM ARMED ATTACK. IF A STUDENT WERE TO ATTEMPT TO APPROACH THE PILLBOX, THEY'D PROBABLY BE SHOT. THE SECURITY GUARD ARE FUCKING MENTAL AND PRETTY JUMPY.