From Vandalwiki

[edit] SHITHOLE UNIVERSITY IS BASICALLY JUST WHAT ITS NAME SAYS IT IS. IT'S A REALLY SHITTY UNIVERSITY. THE CLASSES ARE A PILE OF SHITE WHERE YOU DON'T LEARN ANYTHING AND OFTEN THEY DESCEND INTO DEATHMATCHES BETWEEN THE STUDENTS. THE PROFESSOR WILL OFTEN NOT EVEN BOTHER TO REFEREE THE MATCH. THEY JUST SIT QUIETLY IN THE CORNER CRADLING A SHOTGUN, READY FOR ACTION AT ANY MOMENT. SINCE TEHRE IS NO ACTUAL TEACHING THE EXAMS ARE JUST INANE GOBSHITE AND YOU PASS JUST FOR SHOWING UP AND WRITING YOUR NAME ON THE BIT OF PAPER TO SHOW YOU SHOWED UP. ACTUALLY, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO DO THAT. IF YOU SEND SOMEONE ELSE WHO SIGNS ON THE BIT OF PAPER YOU'LL STILL PASS. AND IF THE OTHER PERSON WRITES THEIR NAME THEY PASS TOO EVEN IF THEY WERE NEVER REGISTERED AT THE UNIVERSITY. THE CLASSROOMS FOR THE UNIVERSITY ARE JUST RANDOM OLD SHEDS. THEY'RE TOO COLD IN WINTER SO OFTEN THE STUDENTS HAVE TO MURDER EACH OTHER SO THEY CAN BURN THE BODIES FOR EXTRA WARMTH. IN SUMMER YOU JUST SIT IN THE CAR PARK ANYWAY SO THE SHEDS DON'T MATTER. FOR SOME REASON THE ONE PART OF THE UNIVERSITY THAT DOES WORK IS THE SECURITY. THE CAMPUS IS SURROUNDED BY AN ELECTRIFIED FENCE WITH LOADS OF RAZOR WIRE AND THERE ARE GUARDTOWERS IN WHICH SECURITY GUARDS WATCH OVER THE AREA. INSIDE THE GUARDTOWERS THE SECURITY GUARDS HAVE MACHINE GUNS AND GRENADE LAUNCHERS. INSIDE THE CAMPUS THE SECURITY GUARDS HAVE RIFLES AND SHOTGUNS. THE STUDENTS OFTEN SEE THE GUARDS PARADING THROUGH THE GROUNDS WITH THEIR WAEPONS. THEY MARCH ARUND LOUDLY YELLING COMMANDS. AT ALL TIMES, THERE ARE SOME SECURITY GUARDS HIDDEN TO FIGHT OFF A SURPRISE ATTACK ON THE UNIVERSITY. BEFORE YOU SAY IT, NO, THE UNIVERSITY ISN'T A PRISON. IT'S JUST BELIEVED TO BE A FRONT FOR SOME KIND OF GIGANTIC METH LAB OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THE UNIVERSITY GIVES THEM AN EXCUSE TO HAVE A SHITLOAD OF SECURITY AND ALL. IT WOULD ALSO EXPLAIN WHY THERE ISN'T ANY TEACHING REALLY. YOU CAN GET THE DEGREE FROM THEM BY JUST PAYING $20 AND THEY'LL PRINT IT FOR YOU THERE. ALTERNATIVELY, YOU CAN JUST MURDER THE PERSON AT THE DESK AND PRINT IT YOURSELF TO SAVE THE $20. DUE TO THE LOW ACADEMIC STANDARDS OF SHITHOLE UNIVERSITY, NO ONE RECOGNISES THEIR DEGREES, DIPLOMAS, CERTIFICATES, IOUS OR ANYTHING ELSE THEY AWARD. THEIR CLASSES HAVE A 27% MORTALITY RATE.