Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/from work
From Umcom
{Cut to a screen saying "Previously on Airstar emails...}
AIRSTAR:Previously on Airstar emails...
{Cut to Airstar chugging pills in his computer room. He a broken ankle. He stops.}
AIRSTAR:Da pain hurts!
{Cut to Homsar44withpie in a tunnel.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:I'm lost in this tunnel!
{Cut to the KOT in his castle with the button.}
KOT:I'm going to press it because I can't get my hotdog!
{Cut to the town view. An explosion starts at the KOT's castle and spreads through the town. Cut to the blimp flying through the destroyed town, on fire. Airstar who has burnt clothes on, and his ankle cast is black, peaks his head through the door of the blimp.}
AIRSTAR:OH MY GOD! HE BLEW UP FCUSA! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!
{Burnt Schoolstar peaks his head through the door.}
SCHOOLSTAR:I don't know! BUT WE'RE GONNA CRASH!
{The blimp crashes into Marzipan's house and it blows up. Airstar, Schoolstar and The Chuck are sent flying. Cut to the destroyed feild. Airstar, Schoolstar and The Chuck land there.}
AIRSTAR:Oh my god...
SCHOOLSTAR:I've been through that before.
AIRSTAR:That' how you died.
SCHOOLSTAR:I know.
AIRSTAR:Man, I go through blimps like tissues. Is The Chuck alright?
THE CHUCK:I'm fine. The KOT's an idiot.
SCHOOLSTAR:I think that's firmly established.
AIRSTAR:I hope my Skypy's okay.
{The Skypy lands in Airstar's hands. That rhymed! The Skypy's a little cracked.}
AIRSTAR:Yes! Well, we are going to New York!
SCHOOLSTAR:Why?
AIRSTAR:First of all, I work for Jon Stewart remember? From Dream Job(s)? That email?
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh, yeah!
{Cut to Airstar sitting on a plane seat sipping coffee.}
AIRSTAR:Ahhh...sweet genius that's good. Good thing I put the others on different flights.
{Cut to Schoolstar sitting in a crappy plane seat made of metal.}
SCHOOLSTAR:God, this plane sucks!
{Senor Cardgage in a stewardess outfit comes up to Schoolstar.}
SENOR CARDGAGE:Helly Skippinda. Would you enlike some muddy water?
SCHOOLSTAR:No thanks. How many jobs do you have?
SENOR CARDGAGE:Forty-twone, Gendallella.
SCHOOLSTAR:Awesome.
{Cut to The Chuck's plane. It's sort of nicer than Schoolstar's.}
THE CHUCK:That cheapskate. Why didn't I run away in email 29?
{Cut to Jon Stewart's desk in the studio for The Daily Show. Jon is sitting at it with coffee reading over the script.}
JON STEWART:Airstar!
{Airstar limps over there.}
AIRSTAR:Yes?
JON STEWART:You have a weird name. Anyway, are you done with fixing the microwave?
AIRSTAR:What would you do if I said no?
JON STEWART:I'd strangle you with your own cast.
AIRSTAR:Okay then, yes!
JON STEWART:Great! No get the heck outta here.
{Airstar limps offscreen. Cut to Schoolstar in an apartment that looks similiar to Jerry Seinfeld's apartment in the popular NBC sitcom Seinfeld (1989-1998). Schoolstar's in the kitchen, and The Chuck is on the couch.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Um...New York's pretty weird. I mean back in FCUSA we have normal people with no arms, blue faces, baseball bat heads and mexican wrestling masks for faces but here it's so...human.
THE CHUCK:I guess so. New york is filled with normal people who don't live in blimps.
SCHOOLSTAR:I like this apartment though. What's with the bike on the wall over there?
THE CHUCK:Airstar use to bike.
{Music plays when we cut to outside a coffee shop that says "Restraunt" on the side. Cut to inside of it. The music stops. Airstar is sitting in a booth drinking coffee while reading the newspaper.}
AIRSTAR:Whoa. In FCUSA which is thought to be somewhere in the Texas-Florida area was blown up today by it's municapality master, Cosmo Caveat? Jesus. Idiots. They don't know what state we live in? We clearly live in-
{Cut to outside of the studio for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart while music plays. Cut to Airstar sitting at Jon's desk with The Skypy plugged in. Close up shot of his head looking at the screen. He clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:Checking email from work, is the best...of all the rest.
Dear Airstar Flyer,
ghhhhiophihofdpgodygggggggggvbjvhoi
THIS IS A VIRUS!
YOUR COMPUTER IS GOING TO EXPLODE!!!
AIRSTAR:Oh! I'm so scared! Do you really think you can take me off my high horse? My Skypy has lasted almost longer than Strong Bad's Tandy 400, and i'm going to make sure it does! So the computer's not exploding.
{The Skypy starts rumbling.}
AIRSTAR:Oh shi-crap.
{Airstar picks up the computer and starts limping over to some guy with a wrench working on a computer.}
AIRSTAR:My computer's about to explode from a virus!
GUY:Okay.
{He starts typing on the computer. It stops rumbling.}
AIRSTAR:Thanks. What'd you do?
GUY:I installed a new virus that doesn't make it explode.
AIRSTAR:Thanks for your help.
GUY:No problem.
{Airstar limps back to the desk.}
AIRSTAR:Ok. So you sent me a virus. I'm so scared! What is it gonna do?
VOICE ON COMPUTER:Go to Bubs's Conncession stand for a free cup of ice on Tuesdays, only if it's April 27th at 5:24 in a year that ends in 6, and you wear a fake mustache and wear a purple shirt and call Bubs Brad. So if it's Tuesday, April 27th 2016 at 5:24, and you decided to wear a fake mustache and a purple shirt and call Bubs Brad, you get a free cup of ice!
AIRSTAR:Crap. Spyware. This stupid virus el suckso. People in FCUSA probably have it better.
{Cut to the feild. Homsar44withpie is crawling along the ground, his clothes burnt.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Well, at least I got outta that tunnel. But why did the king blow up FCUSA? I had a hot dog.
{He holds up a hot dog. The KOT comes over to him and snatches it and starts wolfing it down.}
KOT:Why didn't you give me this before I blew up FCUSA?
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:I was stuck in a tunnel. Anyway, you're a mad man! The Homsar's Dream factory blew up!
KOT:Along with everything else! EVERYTHING! HA HA HA HA HA!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Yeah, you're a great leader. Anyway, did you even consider the possibility of you being injured? I f this keeps up, we may need a 13th King Of Town by October!
{Homestar walks up to them in burnt clothes.}
HOMESTAR:Hey King type man!
{Homsar (the user) walks up to Homestar.}
HOMSAR THE USER:I made up that! So hand me 600 bucks, MikeControl!
MIKECONTROL:{Offscreen} NEVAR!
{Homsar the user runs away.}
HOMESTAR:Anyway...King type man, I demand you give us a weason fow youw behaviow!
KING OF TOWN:My reason was...um...without a hot dog...THE TERRORISTS WIN!
HOMESTAR:THAT SOUNDS SCAWY! ITS GOTTA BE TWUE!
{Homestar runs away. Cut to a view of The Daily Show's studio. Music plays. Music stops. Cut to Airstar checking his email still.}
AIRSTAR:Yeah, i'm sure they are having the time of there life in blown up FCUSA.
{Jon Stewart walks up to him. Airstar turns around to look at him. Cut to a wide shot.}
JON STEWART:What are you doing at my desk?
AIRSTAR:Sorry.
{Airstar gets up. Jon sits down.}
JON STEWART:How long have you been working for The Daily Show, Homestar?
AIRSTAR:5 years, yet you still can't remember my name, sir.
JON STEWART:Well, you are the longest working intern ever. The rest commited suicide before there third year.
AIRSTAR:That's great, sir.
JON STEWART:Now, let's cut to the chase, there's a robber in France that is so good nobody has caught him yet. Normally, John Oliver or Assif Mandvi would report on that, but Assif Mandvi has Typhoid and John Oliver has some England related disease.
AIRSTAR:Because he's English?
JON STEWART:No, because his shoes are red. What the heck do you think it is? Anyway, we want you to report on the robber, live from France.
AIRSTAR:I'm gonna stand in front of a green screen like the other reporters?
JON STEWART:No, you're really going to France. Fix your blimp and pack your bags.
AIRSTAR:Oh, crap.
{Cut to the outside of Airstar's apartment building. Music plays. Music stops. Cut to Airstar in the Seinfeld looking apartment in the kitchen talking to The Chuck while Schoolstar watches TV.}
AIRSTAR:So then he said we have to go to France!
THE CHUCK:France? I have warrants up there!
{Laughter from the audience(?!)}
AIRSTAR:What's with the live studio audience in my apartment?
SCHOOLSTAR:There is none. I have a button that makes that sound. {He hols up a button} It makes life more like a sitcom.
AIRSTAR:Um, okay.
{Laughter}
AIRSTAR:Ughh...anyway, I better get to the shop. I'm making my THIRTEENTH FREAKIN' BLIMP!
{Cut to outside a blimp garage. Music plays. Music stops. Cut to Airstar working on the blimp's engine with a wrench.}
AIRSTAR:I can't believe I have to go to France.
{Schoolstar walks in.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Hey. Watcha doin'?
AIRSTAR:Not talking to you.
{Schoolstar presses the button and laughter plays.}
AIRSTAR:I'll throw this wrench at your head!
{Laughter plays.}
AIRSTAR:Uggh...
{Cut to Strong Bad in his wrecked up computer room. Alot of the walls are torn down and black. His computer is fine, with just some black stuff on it. His clothes are torn and black.}
STRONG BAD:WHY?! My heart beats and then the town blows up?! We gotta start fixing it!
{Strong Sad, who is burned pretty badly, comes in.}
STRONG SAD:Who are you talking to?
STRONG BAD:That wall!
{Cut to the other side of the room. A burnt wall is there. Cut back to normal view.}
STRONG SAD:Alright, crazy. Now we gotta rebuild!
{Cut to Strong Bad in the feild with a wrecking ball truck. Strong Sad is at the feild.}
STRONG SAD:THIS ISN'T HELPING!!
STRONG BAD:BUT WE NEED TO DEMOLISH ALMOST DESTROYED BUILDINGS AND REBUILD THEM!!
STRONG SAD:NO, STUPID!
{Cut to Homestar with a construction hat on banging a wall with a hammer. Strong Bad comes in with a construction cap on.}
STRONG BAD:What are you doing?
HOMESTAR:Making houses!
{Jimmy Carter walks up to Strong Bad.}
JIMMY CARTER:So am I!
STRONG BAD:Get outta here, Jimmy! It's too bad that you'll be in the Easter special next year!
{Jimmy leaves.}
STRONG BAD:Anyway, you can't just bang a hammer into a wall and call it making a house! What is this, Age Of Empires 2?
HOMESTAR:Yes.
STRONG BAD:No. You need to really make it. Let me see that.
{Homestar hands Strong Bad the hammer. He hits Homestar over the head with it.}
STRONG BAD:You're getting better.
VOICE:{Ofscreen.} And then we kill him?
STRONG BAD:Huh?
{He looks back to see Darknight and a man in a dark suit talking.}
MAN:Yessir.
DARKNIGHT:Good. We kill Airstar in France and get it over with. Nice job, Darkmando Todd!
TED:It's Ted, Master Darknight, but that's okay it's only been 12 years.
DARKNIGHT'S VOICE:Get outta here, Ter.
{You see them walking away.}
STRONG BAD:Oh my god, they're gonna kill Airstar! Why do I care?
{Homestar gets up.}
HOMESTAR:Hey.
STRONG BAD:Hey. I just heard that Darknight and his minions are gonna kill Airstar in France!
HOMESTAR:HOLY CWAP! We need to follow him!
STRONG BAD:Why? I don't care about Airstar.
HOMESTAR:But he's MY cousin!
STRONG BAD:Exactly.
HOMESTAR:Come on!
STRONG BAD:Fine. I guess it would be good to get outta this dump. But what are we gonna use to get to France?
HOMESTAR:How about that? {He turns around. Cut to a Jet plane in the feild being guarded by a Darkmando.}
STRONG BAD:Okay.
HOMESTAR:How awe we gonna get it?
STRONG BAD:I think I have a way.
{Cut to the Darkmando guarding the jet. Strong Bad with a clipboard and a ponytail wig comes up to him.}
STRONG BAD:Hey bro, hey my bromide! Do you wanna sign my petition to ban export of-
DARKMANDO:Uh...sorry, I gotta work...
STRONG BAD:Marriage...
DARKMANDO:So, my master, he's uh...
STRONG BAD:Children...
DARKMANDO:I gotta fly to France...
STRONG BAD:Minimum wage?
DARKMANDO:{While running away) BONJOUR!
STRONG BAD:Man. So effective.
{Homestar comes up to him. Strong Bad throws his clipboard at Homestar.}
HOMESTAR:Ow! In physics, buoyancy is the upward force on an object produced by the surrounding fluid i.e., a liquid or a gas in which it is fully or partially immersed, due to the pressure difference of the fluid between the top and bottom of the object. The net upward buoyancy force is equal to the magnitude of the weight of fluid displaced by the body. This force enables the object to float or at least to seem lighter. Buoyancy is important for many vehicles such as boats, ships, balloons, and airships.
STRONG BAD:Awesome! I made you undumb! Now I can stand listening to you!
HOMESTAR:Buoyancy acts against the force of gravity and so makes objects seem lighter with respect to-
STRONG BAD:Okay, shut up. Now let's go!
{They both walk up the ramp leading to the jet. Strong Bad takes off his hippie wig. Cut to Darknight and Water Bad talking in huge room with black walls.}
WATER BAD:Sir, I would like you to meet the newest member of the Darknight Commadno Squadron, or DCS!
{A big water bowl with a fish looking purple cheat with spikes on his back in it gets rolled out by a Darkmando.}
DARKNIGHT:Who is this?
WATER BAD:He's Aquacheat! I got him a while back, but now he's fit for fighting!
DARKNIGHT:What can he do?
WATER BAD:He can blow poison water at people, and the spikes can stab you pretty bad!
DARKNIGHT:Good. Now let's get to France!
WATER BAD:Yes sir!
{The ceiling above them starts opening to reaveal a large plane. It's lowering down. Cut to Airstar,Schoolstar and The Chuck at the airport waiting area, sitting. Airstar is looking at "Blimp Owner's Life". Schoolstar's looking at "No Life's Life" and The Chuck is looking at "Wallipop Street Journal". The speaker comes on.}
SPEAKER LADY:Flight 666, now bording. Flight 666, now bording. So is flight 13, and Flight number Black Cat crossing road.
AIRSTAR:Oh come on, that's not even real! Let's go!
SCHOOLSTAR:Okay.
THE CHUCK:Meh.
{They all get there luggage and board the plane. Cut to a three way split screen. One box has Airstar in the plane reading "Liberalism:Your guide to France" while eating his pain pills. The other one has Darknight in a sitting on a throne in a huge plane reading "Republicanism:Your guide to leaving France". The third one has Strong Bad and Homestar in the jet. Strong Bad is reading "Stereotypes:Your guide to France", while Homestar is reading "Einstein's Genius". The fourth one has Bubs and Coach Z building back a house with Jimmy Carter on the roof. A clock ticking his heard.}
AIRSTAR,DARKNIGHT,STRONG BAD, AND BUBS AT THE SAME TIME:You ready for take off?
COACH Z:Why did you see that?
{The paper comes down reading, "Tune in to the Season Premiere to find out!"}
