Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/comic
From Umcom
{Cut to Airstar sitting in his plane seat. He's drinking pill coffee while reading "Blimp Monthly".}
AIRSTAR:Huh. I did not know that. Well, {He throws his magezine offscreen.} I'm bored. Maybe I can check my email!
{Airstar gets out the Skypy and puts it on his lap. Then he plugs it in. Cut to close up. Airstar clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:Email on a plane, which is really not much different from where I normally check them.
{Schoolstar leans over from the other seat.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Didn't you build a new blimp and say we were using that to get to France?
AIRSTAR:OH CRAP.
{Cut to Airstar at his desk in the blimp talking to Schoolstar.}
AIRSTAR:It was really nice of American Airlines to get us our money back. Anyway, I gotta check email.
{Airstar turns to the Skypy. Close up. He clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:Two songs in one email, I can't take it no more, take it no more.
Daer Airstar,
Could you write a comic about yourself?
Sam The Man
AIRSTAR:Well, Sam Le Man, I guess I could to pass the time...yeah, why not? It could be about when I was a teenager!
{Cut to a peice of lined paper that says "TEEN AIRSTAR SQUAD!".}
OVERVOICE AIRSTAR:TEEN AIRSTAR SQUAD!
{Cut to a drawing of younger Airstar in a square with "Fly!" at the corner.}
AIRSTAR:Airstar!
{Cut to a drawing of a younger Schoolstar in a box with "Weak as a fly!" at the corner.}
AIRSTAR:Schoolstar!
{Cut to a drawing of a younger The Chuck in a box with "Small as a fly!" at the corner.}
AIRSTAR:The Chuck!
{Cut to a drawing of a younger Darknight in a box with "A STUPID,FAT,SMELLY,DUMB,IDIOTIC,FAT,SMELLY,STUPID!!,DU-" in the corner.}
AIRSTAR:And Dumpface! I mean Darknight!
{Cut to a drawing of teenage Airstar,Schoolstar,The Chuck, and Darknight in the feild.}
COMIC AIRSTAR:{As they speak, word balloons come up.} I say we kill Darknight dudes! Here here?
COMIC SCHOOLSTAR:I'm nerdy and depressing! So yes!
COMIC AIRSTAR:But if we kill Darknight, we'll be nerdy and/or deppressing too!
COMIC DARKNIGHT:I WANNA KILL SOMETHING!!
{Comic Darknight starts stabbing Airstar a bunch.}
COMIC DARKNIGHT:I TOOK OVER THE WORLD!!
{A page comes up that says "Fin. (Ished)" Cut to Airstar staring at his work.}
AIRSTAR:Why did I have Darknight kill me in my own comic? Let's try again.
{Cut to the paper. Comic Airstar has comic Darknight against the wall.}
COMIC AIRSTAR:I will kill you!
COMIC DARKNIGHT:NEVAR!!
{Bombs drop on comic Airstar. He dies.}
DARKNIGHT:I WON!!
{The "Fin (ished)" thing comes up again. Cut back to Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:Wow. I'm self confident.
{Cut to Strong Bad and Homestar in the cockpit of the jet. Strong Bad's driving and Homestar's reading "Quantum Physcis".}
HOMESTAR:Hey, did you know there are numerous mathematically equivalent formulations of quantum mechanics? One of the oldest and most commonly used formulations is the transformation theory invented by Cambridge theoretical physicist Paul Dirac, which unifies and generalizes the two earliest formulations of quantum mechanics, matrix mechanics invented by Werner Heisenberg Especially since Werner Heisenberg was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1932 for the creation of quantum mechanics, the role of Max Born has been obfuscated. A 2005 biography of Born details his role as the creator of the matrix formulation of quantum physics. This was recognized in a paper by Heisenberg, in 1950, honoring Max Planck, and wave mechanics invented by Erwin Schrödinger.
{"The More You know" logo flies across the screen.}
STRONG BAD:Um, that's great. Anyway, we're almost to France. I think. Is that France?
HOMESTAR:NOO! THAT'S SCELOGANINAN ISLAND 2 MILES OFF THE COAST OF FRANCE!!
STRONG BAD:Calm down! We just make a right turn, and-
{Cut to the gas guage. It's on empty. Cut back to Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD:OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA CRASH!!
{The Jet starts going down. Cut to two Senor looking guys that are brown and in leaf skirts on a beach sitting down.}
SENOR GUY 1:Fru flatnle ser guntagua?
{Subtitles: "What is that thing coming down?"}
SENOR GUY 2:Gru snete salan TROGE?!
{Subtitles:"Oh, it's probably just a OH MY GOD?!"}
{The jet crashes into the island and the two Senor guys jump outta the way. Strong Bad and Homestar run out with torn clothes and burns. The jet blows up. Another Senor looking guy comes up to them.}
SENOR GUY 3:Telt se' anaqu, eh roteskan.
HOMESTAR:He says his name is Roteskan, and he aks what we are doing here.
{Strong Bad's eyes widen.}
HOMESTAR:Eh, se teltue rone' selton salanchrecc.
STRONG BAD:How do you know this language?
HOMESTAR:I studied Sceloganinanian on the way here.
ROTESKAN:Eh, lenruq egwkellen senaltu sobrasian'.
HOMESTAR:He asks us what we're doing here.
STRONG BAD:Oh, um...tell him we crashed looking for France.
HOMESTAR:Uh...Sceltsoe'...kalwue...um...looking, what is looking? Oh yeah! Crensudel France!
ROTESKAN:Pertese lefnuq re' slense' qwan.
HOMESTAR:He says the old wise man can help us get another plane.
STRONG BAD:Ok. Where is he?
ROTESKAN:Oh, he's up in those hills.
{Homestar and Strong Bad look at each other.}
STRONG BAD:You can speak english?
ROTESKAN:Ren telts genraten.
{Strong Bad and Homestar look confused and just walk up to the hills. Cut to the hills. They go inside a little cottage. Cut to Darknight in his throne on the big plane.}
DARKNIGHT:This will be the awesomest murder ever! I'll finally will kill Airstar! That stupid idiot!
{Water Bad walks up to him.}
WATER BAD:Why do you hate Airstar anyway?
{Darknight's eyes widen.}
DARKNIGHT:I really don't remember. Something about a calendar...
WATER BAD:You're killing somebody over a calendar problem?
DARKNIGHT:Uhh...
{Darknight presses a button. Darkmandos come in and drag Water Bad out of the room.}
DARKNIGHT:Heh heh. That's what he gets for questioning me. Darkmando!
{A darkmando comes up to him.}
DARKMANDO:Yes sir?
DARKNIGHT:Get me Aquacheat!
DARKMANDO:Yes sir.
{The darkmando walks away and comes back with the huge fish bowl on wheels with Aquacheat in it.}
AQUACHEAT:Meh meh meh!
{A darkmando comes up to Darknight.}
DARKMANDO:We're arriving in 5 minutes, sir.
DARKNIGHT:Good. We'll finnally kill that stupid Airstar!
{Darknight sticks his head out a window. Cut to a buncha of darkmandos in neat lines in Darknight's ship. Darknight has his head out a window.}
DARKNIGHT:RIGHT GUYS?!
DARKMANDOS:YEAAAAHHH!!!
{Cut to Homsar44withpie,Bubs and Strong Sad looking at a finished Strong Bad's house.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:I like how we did this. It seems so...right.
BUBS:I guess.
STRONG SAD:Yeah. Wait, where are Strong Bad and Homestar?
BUBS:Why'd you list Strong Bad first?
STRONG SAD:What?
BUBS:Why did you say Strong Bad before Homestar?
STRONG SAD:What's the difference?
BUBS:Well Homestar's the star, I think he needs more respect.
STRONG SAD:Who cares?
BUBS:I care!
STRONG SAD:Why?
BUBS:Well I thought that you're always Mr.Goody goody two shoes so you should know about this kinda stuff!
STRONG SAD:You're insane. Anyway, where are they?
{Cut to Pom Pom picking up a note from the ground.}
POM POM:{Bubbles}
{He hands it to Strong Sad.}
STRONG SAD:It says "Dear friends, and Strong Sad and the King, I am going to France with Homestar so we can save Airstar from dying. Unsincerely, Strong Bad the good dancer that all the ladies love" France? Airstar? DYING?!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Look at the time this was written.
STRONG SAD:They wrote a time? It says 17:23. That's...
ALL:11:23 AM!!
STRONG SAD:They left a while back!
{Homsar44withpie starts sinking underground.}
STRONG SAD:Man. Who's gonna kill Airstar?
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Uhhh...
{Strong Sad looks behind him.}
STRONG SAD:There's a sinkhole!
{Cut to Airstar drawing on paper at his desk. A buncha wads of paper are around.}
AIRSTAR:Man...I can't draw anything where Darknight doesn't win. OH! I KNOW! I could draw a place where Darknight isn't involved! Like a KOT question rally!
{Cut to the paper. Teenage comic Airstar is at a podium asking questions to the comic KOT.}
AIRSTAR:So...
{People start yelling.}
AIRSTAR:I will ask the question!
{He holds up a book titled "Armed Crazyjuice"}
AIRSTAR:WILL YOU-
{His mic gets cut.}
AIRSTAR:Oh! Thanks for cutting my mic!
{A couple of Darkmandos pull at his legs and force him to the ground.}
AIRSTAR:WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
{A darkmando pulls out a taser.}
AIRSTAR:DON'T TASE ME, BRO! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!
{The darkmandos tase him.}
AIRSTAR:AHHH!!!
{Comic Darknight walks out.}
COMIC DARKNIGHT:Ha ha. Police overreaction always works!
{Cut back to Airstar at the table tapping his pencil.}
AIRSTAR:What's wrong with me?!
{Schoolstar walks up to Airstar.}
SCHOOLSTAR:We have arrived at France!
{Cut to a sign that says "Bienvenue vers la France ! Oui, nous avons détester de l'Amérique !" the blimp lands at a nearby blimp runway. Cut to Airstar and the rest getting out of the blimp.}
AIRSTAR:Wow.
{Cut to a buncha buildings with neon signs like "Lait obtenu ?" and "Classes de fin de nuit de pain librement pendant 7 jours !" then cut to outside a French hotel called "Le fromage d'hôtel ou certain stéréotype aiment cela." cut to a little hotel room where Airstar and the gang are in.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Why didn't we just live in the blimp?
AIRSTAR:Because I want a taste of French culture! And this crappy hotel room is a perfect example! Anyway, watch out for l'alot du bandit d'argent.
SCHOOLSTAR:The who?
AIRSTAR:The alot of money bandit. The French aren't very creative. He's the guy i'm reporting on. Well, we better get some rest. Bonne nuit!
{Airstar lies in bed. Cut to Strong Bad and Homestar in the old wise man's cottage. He is an old guy with long white hair who is tall and wearing green clothing.}
OLD WISE MAN:{Northern accent}So whadda you want?
STRONG BAD:Uh... we need an aircraft to get to France.
OLD WISE MAN:Well ya gonnna have to say da passecode.
HOMESTAR:La roche d'ours.
OLD WISE MAN:Yup!
{He takes out a button and presses it. A wall comes up behind him to reveal an airplane called "Le Mauvais Fort Suce".}
HOMESTAR:Wow. Nice plane. Nice name, too.
STRONG BAD:What's the name?
HOMESTAR:Le Mauvais Fort Suce.
STRONG BAD:In English!
HOMESTAR:You don't wanna know.
{Cut to Strong Bad in the plane driving it while Homestar reads "French Culture for Geniuses".}
STRONG BAD:We're here!
{Cut to Darknight in his throne.}
DARKNIGHT:We're here!
{Cut to Darknight's ship flying over France. It keeps spiraling down,down,down and finally lands. A buncha French guys run away. Hundreds of darkmandos start marchin' outta the ship.}
DARKMANDOS:TOUS GRÊLE DARKNIGHT !
{Darkmandos carry Darknight on his throne out of the ship. He hops off his throne and start marching. The darkmandos follow him. Cut to The Daily Show studio the next day. Jon Stewart is sitting at his desk with his suit on.}
JON STEWART:Okay, i'm ready. This is the 6:00 pm taping people!
{Cut to a graphic of "August 28, 2007" against a silver globe.}
OVERVOICE:August 28th, 2007. Live from the Comedy Central news headquarters in New York...this is the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
{The graphic swooshes around to Jon at his desk while the audience.}
JON:Hello everybody welcome to The Daily Show! We've got a great show for you tonight! Hmm. Yes!
{The audience settles down.}
JON:Thank you everybody. Welcome to The Daily Show. Tonight, Strong Sad Mudgeman will be joining us.
{The audience makes confused noises.}
JON:I'M JUST KIDDING! Bubs C. Stand will be joining us!
{Audience cheers.}
JON:To talk about how he and some other people helped to rebuild a town somewhere in the south. And looking at some of the people in our audeince tonight, I don't think they know what the south is.
{Audience laughs.}
JON:Okay. But tonight...our big story. A robber in France has not been outwitted by the Paris police. Which consists of a guy in a cheese costume and some mice.
{Audience laughs.}
JON:His name has not yet been revealed. For the story we go to our Senior Foriegn Robbery expert, Airstar flyer.
{2 boxes appear. One with Jon in his studio and the other shows Airstar in the streets of France with the Eiffel Tower in the background. There's two captions. One says "Quelque part en France" and the other says "Vol!"}
JON:Thank you for joining us, Airstar.
AIRSTAR:No problem. I am actauly in France by the way. I can prove it!
{He stops someone on the street and brings up to the camera.}
{Audience laughs.}
FRENCH GUY:Ce qui l'estacade à claire-voie?
AIRSTAR:He just said what the heck. I've been practicing my French.
{The french guy runs away. The audience laughs.}
JON:Yes he really is in France. Now, my French is a little rusty but it seems that your caption is translated to "Somewhere in France".
{Audience laughs.}
AIRSTAR:Yes, Jon. I have no freakin' idea where I am.
{Audience laughs.}
JON:But uh...Airstar the Eiffel Tower is right behind you.
AIRSTAR:Oh is it?
{He turns around and turns back.}
AIRSTAR:Yes it is.
{Audience laughs.}
JON:Now what about the robberys?
AIRSTAR:Robberys? No,no, i'm afraid you'd have to pluralize that.
{Audience laughs.}
JON:But it is pluralized.
AIRSTAR:But you need to pluralize it more. Like robberyssss...
{Audience laughs.}
JON:Um, okay then. Now, how's the weather up there?
AIRSTAR:Oh it's {Starts cracking up.}
JON:{Starts cracking up}
AIRSTAR:{Still laughing} I COULDN'T SAY THIS JOKE WITH A STRAIGHT FACE!!
{A dark blimp lands behind Airstar.}
JON:{Suddenly stops cracking up.} Wait, what's behind you?
{Airstar turn around to see Darkmandos coming at him.}
AIRSTAR:Ut-oh. JON!
JON STEWART:That's not in the script. Somebody help him!
{A darkmando throws a rock at the camera and the feed goes out.}
JON STEWART:Oh, crap. Someone call 911. Anyway, moving on to the 2008 presidental election, in our segment...CLUSTER-
{Cut to Le Mauvais Fort Suce landing on a French runway. It stops and Strong Bad and Homestar get out.}
STRONG BAD:Wow. France. It's better than that time I went to Russia.
{Cut to Strong Bad on a Russian street with a sign that says "Полученное молоко?" in the background. He's talking to a russian guy.}
RUSSIAN GUY:Здравствулте! там мой друг!
{Subtitles:"Hello there my friend!"}
STRONG BAD:Um...Я не говорю русского.
{Subtitles:"I don't speak Russian". Cut back to Strong Bad and Homestar in front of the jet.}
HOMESTAR:Yeah. France is great. WHOA!
{Cut to Darknight's huge plane flying above France.}
HOMESTAR:I know Airstar is in there! The way to get him out is to-{He gets hit in the head with a rock.}
STRONG BAD:To what?!
{Homestar falls down. He then gets back up.}
STRONG BAD:To what?!
HOMESTAR:Oh. Um...to eat marshmallows!
STRONG BAD:OH crap! You become and idiot again at the very worst time!
{Cut to two Darkmandos walking up to Strong Bad and Homestar.}
DARKMANDOS:In the name of Darknight, we will take you with us.
STRONG BAD:NEV-
{The Darkmandos take out lasers.}
STRONG BAD:Er?
{The Darkmandos grab them both by the neck and hold lasers to their head. Cut to Airstar with his legs chained to a wall right in front of Darknight's throne.}
AIRSTAR:Why do I have to be chained to the wall right in front of you?
DARKNIGHT:So I can watch you suffer. Ever since that calendar incident that happened when we were 10 i've wanted to kill you.
{Flashback sequence! Cut to 1987. Little Airstar putting up a pac man calendar. He puts it up and sits down. The calendar says January 1987.}
LITTLE DARKNIGHT:Hey. WHAT THE?!
LITTLE AIRSTAR:What?
LITTLE DARKNIGHT:I have the same exact calendar!
LITTLE AIRSTAR:Oh. Cool.
LITTLE DARKNIGHT:NO, NOT COOL! We can't have the same calendar! THAT'S CONFUSING!! And I want to be original!
LITTLE AIRSTAR:Well I spent money on this calendar and I really like it!
LITTLE DARKNIGHT:SO DID I!
LITTLE AIRSTAR:Well i'm not taking it down.
LITTLE DARKNIGHT:Me either! If you don't take that down, you know this means the end of our friendship, right?
LITTLE AIRSTAR:Oh, you'll get over it!
LITTLE DARKNIGHT:I never will.
{Close up on his face with dead serious tone.}
LITTLE DARKNIGHT:I NEVER WILL. I will get revenge. GOOD BYE!
{Zoom out. Li'l Darknight jumps out the window. Cut back to him and Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:THAT'S WHY YOU'RE KILLING ME?! OVER A CALENDAR?! Well, um...i'm really sorry. Can you forgive me and let me go?
DARKNIGHT:SILENCE! You had 20 years to say sorry and you blew it! But you know what...maybe trying to kill you over a calendar was dumb. Maybe I should let you go.
AIRSTAR:Really?
DARKNIGHT:No.
AIRSTAR:Craps. Can I at least get a pencil and paper to draw?
DARKNIGHT:Sure. DARKMANDO NUMBER 26567! GET HIM PAPER AND PENCILS!
{A darkmando hands him paper and a pencil.}
AIRSTAR:Danku.
{Cut to the paper with Comic Darknight on it.}
COMIC DARKNIGHT:The stupids! I will destroy Airstar!
{Comic Airstar comes in.}
COMIC AIRSTAR:No you won't!
{Comic Darknight stabs Comic Airstar.}
COMIC DARKNIGHT:Yes I will.
{Cut back to Airstar}
AIRSTAR:DANGIT!
{Cut to Strong Sad and the others back at FCUSA. They are looking at a sinkhole.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Hey I think that might contain the tunnel I was going through in the blimp.
STRONG SAD:That happened?
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:I know it seems like such a long time ago. I don't think this plot will ever end.
{The FWP, who, in case you didn't know, are the fourth wall police, come up to him.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Okay, you guys are PLAYED.
FWP OFFICER:Really?
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:SO PLAYED.
FWP OFFICER:Ohh...um...let's go arrest Bob and George again guys.
FWP OFFICER NUMBER 2 PLAYED BY NEIL FLYNN:But they're canncelled sir.
FWP OFFICER:I don't care. It gives me pleasure.
{They leave.}
STRONG SAD:Anyway, let's find out.
{Bubs gets out a shovel and turns to the camera. Close up on Bubs' face with "HOLY CROP SAVINGS!" flashing at the bottom of the screen.}
BUBS:The new Shoveltron 2.0 Bubsified is the greatest shovel EVER! It doubles as a stake, a lawnmower,a john sower,a weed clipper,a grass trimer,a wife beater,a lawyer, EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE FOR ONLY FIVE hundred BUCKS!
{The words "DO NOT USE THIS IS AS A WIFE BEATER OR LAWYER" flash at the bottom of the screen. He turns back to the hole and starts digging to see a tunnel with a note in it.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:What dis?
{Homsar44 picks up the note.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:"After a terrible plight, a rich sole will break the walls of fright." Except it spells soul as S-O-L-E. Must be a bad speller.
COACH Z:Mayber it means it's the sole of a shoe.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:No. Anyway, I wonder what it means. I'm gonna climb down this tunnel. I don't need you losers. Except you The Cheat.
THE CHEAT:Meh!
{Homsar44withpie starts climbing down the tunnel and The Cheat jumps on his back. They keep crawling down the tunnel until they fall in a small underground pond.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Uggh! Stupid pond. Oh great. Wet The Cheat.
{Homsar44withpie holds his breath.}
THE CHEAT:Meh meh!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:{Breaths and pants} Huh. Well uh...what do we do now? OWW!
THE CHEAT:Meh?
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Something's got me leg!
{He lifts up his leg. Aquacheat is on it.}
AQUACHEAT:Meh!!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:What the crap?
VOICE:Hey!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Huh?
{Homsar44withpie and The Cheat swim down to the bottom of the pond and see a darkmando in a scuba outfit.}
DARKMANDO:Hello, there. I've been expecting you.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Um...really?
DARKMANDO:Yes.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:You've just been floatin' here waiting for us?
DARKMANDO:Yeah. It's pretty boring.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:How'd you know I was coming?
DARKMANDO:Well i odn't have a family, so-you know what? It's none of your beeswax. Sonow i'll buzz you to your forced destination.
{Darkmando takes a warp gun and shoots it at them. They warp to a dark hallway.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:What the crap?
THE CHEAT:Meh melmeh?
{Darknight comes up to Homsar44withpie and The Cheat.}
DARKNIGHT:Hello there. You are going to serve ME!
{Cut to Homestar and Strong Bad in a cage being carried by a Darkmando who is walking to Darknight's blimp.}
HOMESTAR:LET US GO!
DARKMANDO:Shut up!
{He hits him with a hammer.}
HOMESTAR:OWW!! Australia is a country and a continent! And the way we destroy his plan is to take my razor sharp sole,
{He takes off his blue sole, and throws it at the blimp's engine. The blimp exlodes and you can see Airstar being flown right into the Eiffel tower. Darknight flys that way too. Homsar44withpie flys to the right and The Cheat flys towards the camera. A buncha of darkmandos fly everywhere. Water Bad and Aquacheat fly towards the Eiffel tower. Cut to Airstar on one of the rails on the Eiffel tower.}
AIRSTAR:Holy crap! I'm on the Eiffel tower. And now I can eat my Snickers!
{He takes out a Snickers and before he can eat it, Darknight kicks him in the face.}
AIRSTAR:Aggh!
{Darknight does a dance.}
AIRSTAR:Well you lose, Darknight. Sorry.
DARKNIGHT:You think I lost? My plan was to kill you. We are on top of the Eiffel tower! I can throw you off.
AIRSTAR:Oh no!
{He starts sliding down one of the structures on the Eiffel tower. Darknight follows him. They get stopped by some bars. Airstar kicks Darknight and Darknight punches him. They climb back up to the rail and they start fighting. Darknight kicks Airstar almost off the tower. He hangs on by a rail. Darknight looks down at him.}
DARKNIGHT:Time to end your life.
{He lifts up his foot, and then Darknight falls off the tower. You see Aquacheat behind him.}
AQUACHEAT:Meh!
AIRSTAR:Thanks Aquacheat!
{Cut to Airstar sitting on the couch in his blimp. Schoolstar and The Chuck are on the ground listening to him.}
AIRSTAR:And then I want to jail for a month and sixteen days for damaging the Eiffel tower. And now it's October 14th. I should check my email later.
SCHOOLSTAR:Great story. How was jail?
AIRSTAR:It was a french jail.
SCHOOLSTAR:Say no more.
{The paper comes down.}
