Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Wine
From Umcom
{We start with Schoolstar at The Cloudson. He clicks on the email icon.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Email to the B-mail, whatever you See-Mail, it's what you see and what you see is E-Mail!
Hello Mr.Schoolstar.
It has come to our attention you have given a 10 year old girl wine. You should meet up with us at court tomorrow at 12:00 sharp.
The FBI
SCHOOLSTAR:Wine? Just because I threw that wine party for that ten year old girl doesn't mean that she drank any.
{Cut to Schoolstar in The Computer Room with the female sad kid.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Hey sad kid. WINE TIME!
{A banner drops saying "WINE PARTY-ONLY KIDS ALLOWED" and The Cheat, The Chuck, The other sad kid, The Grape Nuts Robot, The Back Sassin' Anamatronic Strong Bad, the Japanese "Super Brave" kids and Jeffrey Beffrey Mudgeman all run into join as Schoolstar squirts wine all over them. Cut back to Schoolstar.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Well, I guess that would be frowned upon. Fine, FBI. I'll go to your dumb Court Hearing. In fact, i'll get the best lawyer soft tacos can buy. Le Squeak!
{Cut to Schoolstar talking to The Cheat in Strong Bad's computer room.}
SCHOOLSTAR:The Squeak, I need you to be my lawyer.
THE CHEAT:Mehna meh meh mehna meh meh!
SCHOOLSTAR:Fine, I won't call you The Squeak.
THE CHEAT:Meh meh!
SCHOOLSTAR:Sweet. So, is there any legal standpoint about this?
THE CHEAT:Meh, meh mehna mehma meh mehnameh meh, "Meh meht mehna mehna mehmeh meh".
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh. So it states clearly in FCUSA law that you cannot give a minor wine if you are not their parent or legal guardian, unless you got written permission from the parent? Oh, sh-
{Cut to The Balding Man in a suit sitting in an FBI office with a poster of a weather balloon in the sky and "I DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE" under that.}'
AGENT BALDING:We gotta put this Schoolstar behind bars. Or else, he could be throwing wine parties for ten year olds all across the nation. Or worse. The world. Or worse. The Solar System. Or worse. The Galaxy. Or worse. The Universe. Or worse.....something bigger than The Universe. Let's do this.
{Cut to Schoolstar walking into the FBI headquarters. He sits down in a waiting room. He sees a picture of The King Of Town on the wall. Agent Balding comes in.}
AGENT BALDING:We're ready for your interrogation, Mr.Swiggle.
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh, great, fantastic! I'm overjoyed! WOO!
{Agent Balding looks at him weirdly.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Too sarcastic?
AGENT BALDING:A little bit.
SCHOOLSTAR:Okay.
{Cut to Airstar sitting in a corner of the room he's in. A water drip is coming from the ceiling, and he's catching it on his toungue. A shadowy sillhouette comes in with a phone in hand.}
SHADOWY GUY:Great news, Airstar. Schoolstar might be going to prison. That'll hold off the big search. Heh heh heh.
AIRSTAR:Ugghh....
{Cut back to Schoolstar being interrogated by Agent Balding and Agent Bubs.}
AGENT BALDING:YOU GONNA TELL US THAT YOU DID IT? HUH? WELL WHAT? HUH? PUNK??
AGENT BUBS:Tell us right now! NOW!!! NOWWWWWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWO!!!!!
SCHOOLSTAR:NO! I have the fifth amendment.
AGENT BUBS:Doesn't matter. Because we got a video of you doing it. Put it in.
{Agent Balding puts a VHS tape into a TV, and you see a black and white video of Schoolstar spraying wine on all the kids, and "12-31-07" at the bottom.}
AGENT BUBS:See?
SCHOOLSTAR:Well, it was New Years Eve! Plus, it was during the hiatus and I gots bored.
AGENT BUBS:Not an excuse! You're going to da BOX! BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM A-BAM! B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BAM! B to the A to the to the M to the B-A-Double M-M BAMM! BAM BAM BAM.......BAM-DIDDY-BAM! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! BOM BAM DIDDY BOM BAM BOM BAM!! B-A-M-M-M-M-M BAMMMMM! BAM TO BAM MUDDABAMMER! BAM BAM BAM JAIL BAM! BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-A-BAM! BAM!
{They both are looking at him weirdly.}
AGENT BUBS:Oooh, Black Betty, BAM TO BAM, oooh, Black Betty, BAM TO BAM! Uhh...sorry. She's not as good as Blue Betty.
AGENT BALDING:...Anyway, you're going to the Jail Box.
{Cut to Schoolstar in the Jail Box with Strong Mad guarding it.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Come on, man! You gotsta help me out! LET ME FREE!
{The Chuck comes with money in his hand.}
THE CHUCK:I'm here with the money! 144...145...146...147!
SCHOOLSTAR:Yes!
THE CHUCK:Finally I have enough money to buy the Platinum lolipop.
{He speeds off.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Aw, crap.
{The Cheat walks by with a cake.}
THE CHEAT:Meh meh meh meh...
STRONG MAD:I WANT CAKE!
{Strong Mad chases after The Cheat with the cake.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Thanks The Cheat! Now I can escape!
{Schoolstar uses a knife to cut a hole in the box, then just lifts the box up and runs away. Cut to Schoolstar with some wine in the kitchen of the blimp.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Here's to celebrate!
{Pan to the left to reveal The Female Sad Kid with some wine.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Here's to breaking out of jail!
{They clink their glasses together. Stacy comes in.}
STACY:Is Airstar still missing?
SCHOOLSTAR:Yeah.
STACY:Did he at least shave that mustache of his?
SCHOOLSTAR:Yeah, he shaved that after email 65. It was hideous.
STACY:Okay. Man, i'm worried.
SCHOOLSTAR:Don't worry, give wine to a ten year old!
{Cut to the "Airstar Emails Logo"}
THE CHUCK:{Overvoice} You're watching Airstar Emails, the Email Show that does not advocate giving wine to ten year olds! Even after getting out of jail for doing such a thing!
{Cut back to Schoolstar,Stacy and the sad kid.}
STACY:Man...
{Her hair stars to blow in the wind. Cut to Schoolstar, who is staring at her.}
STACY:Where's all the wind coming from?
{Cut to the Sad Kid with a fan. She turns it off.}
THE SAD KID:Sorry.
SCHOOLSTAR:Drink your wine!
{She drinks her wine more.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Now, Stacy...how's your work with the elderly, like Grampa Flyer?
{Cut to Strong Bad in the shower.}
STRONG BAD:Soomething just happened that I have to ruin.
{Homestar comes pops up with a wet star shirt on and stubble.}
HOMESTAR:YOU FOUND ME!
STRONG BAD:AHHHHHH!!!
{He runs out.}
HOMESTAR:Man, he's screaming with joy about him finding me.
{Cut to Strong Bad with a towel on right next to his toilet in his bathroom.}
STRONG BAD:Get outta here, Homestar! Anyway, I gotta get there quick...but how?
{Cut to Schoolstar talking to Stacy.}
SCHOOLSTAR:-Allon! I mean, four bucks a Jimmy Fallon? That's outrageous! I need cheaper Jimmy Fallon to fuel my car. And I though he couldn't get cheaper!
{Strong Bad comes out of the sink with his towel still on.}
STRONG BAD:Hey, you two! And the Sad Kid! Let me see {Takes away wine from Schoolstar.} that wine! Time to pour it all over yas!
{He starts pouring the wine all over them.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Cool! A wine party! COME IN KIDS!
{All the kids from last time come in.}
STRONG BAD:{Crap, they're enjoying it...time for plan G!}
{He stops puring wine.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Why'd you stop?
STRONG BAD:Because, I have bad news. Airstar...is dead.
{Everybody gasps.}
STRONG BAD:HA! I GOT YOU GUYS!
SCHOOLSTAR:Rgghh....
STRONG BAD:Dead friend jokes...always funny.
SCHOOLSTAR:I hate you.
STACY:Me too.
STRONG BAD:{Oh, crap. I lost the trust of a hot chick. I gotta find a way to impress her...} Uhh...Sucks In The City DVD anyone? {Holds up "Sucks In The City DVD.} Eh? Ahh....
{The paper comes down, soaked in wine.}
