Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Visit
From Umcom
{We start with Airstar in the orange prison geddup in his cell with Strong Bad.}
AIRSTAR:So, Strong Bad....how'd you get in here?
STRONG BAD:I robbed Bubs'. You?
AIRSTAR:Insurance fraud.
STRONG BAD:Eek. That sucks.
AIRSTAR:Well, it's not my fault. You see, Schoolstar died, and I got his life insurance, then he came back to life, and I kept it. But I blew most of the money on my collection of spoons throughout the ages.
STRONG BAD:Who's your lawyer?
AIRSTAR:He's the best. His name is...Litigation Jackson!
{Cut to Litigation Jackson at his desk throwing papers around.}
LITIGATION JACKSON:MA-AN! I NEED A NEW CASE!
{The phone rings.}
LITIGATION JACKSON:IT'S A BOMB!!
{He shoots the phone. His cell phone rings.}
LITIGATION JACKSON:IT'S A TINIER BOMB!
{He takes out his cell phone and shoots it.}
HIS COMPUTER:You've got mail!
{He shoots his computer. His secretary Ms.Johnson comes in with a phone.}
MS.JOHNSON:Call for you, sir.
{He shoots her.}
LITIGATION JACKSON:THERE ARE SO MANY BOMBS!
{Kyle Westwood comes in with a letter.}
KYLE WESTWOOD:Here's a letter si-
{He gets shot.}
LITIGATION JACKSON:EVERYONE'S OUT TO GET ME!!
{A small bird flys in with a letter in his beak. Litigation Jackson shoots it.}
LITIGATION JACKSON:WOOO!
{He gets a page. He picks up his pager and looks at it.}
LITIGATION JACKSON:What's this? Airstar Flyer needs a lawyer? I'm a lawyer! I AM LITIGATION JACKSON!
{Cut to Airstar in his cell talking to his lawyer on the phone that Homestar gave him for his one phone call.}
AIRSTAR:So, the court date is June 29th. Yeah, today. Okay. Bye.
{He hangs up.}
AIRSTAR:There we go! Now i'm gonna get outta here.
HOMESTAR:Sure. {He leaves.}
STRONG BAD:It's the 29th? I should check my day runner more often.
{Cut to Homestar in a judge's robe sitting on the steps of his front door. Two boxes acting as tables have Airstar Litigation Jackson on the left, and Bubs and The Announcer on the right, with the jury, Coach Z, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Marzipan, Strong Sad, Pom-Pom, Schoolstar, The Chuck and The Ninja.}
HOMESTAR:{Slams mallet} Order! Order! It is time for the case of Airstar V. Bubs Insurance Company. Mr.Announcer, opening statement?
THE ANNOUNCER:Your honor, on August 8, 2007, Airstar Leo Flyer reported that Schoolstar Swiggle was dead, and Airstar inherited his Life Insurance money. But I think it's pretty obvious now, that Schoolstar is alive. He faked Schoolstar's death so he could get money, and that's insurance fraud! Thank you, your honor.
HOMESTAR:Mr.Jackson, opening statement?
LITIGATION JACKSON:Yes, your honor. Schoolstar did die, he died in a fire. But then later, he was brought back to life using sacrifice. So he inherited the money rightfully even though he came back to life. Thank you, your honor.
HOMESTAR:Okay, now for questioning.
LITIGATION JACKSON:QUESTIONING IS OUT OF THE QUESTION, BECAUSE THERE'S A BOMB UNDER YOU YOUR HONOR!
{Litigation Jackson,Airstar,Schoolstar and The Chuck start running away, and a bomb explodes sending them flying. Cut to them lying on the feild, the back part of them blackened.}
AIRSTAR:Uhgg...why'd you do that?
LITIGATION JACKSON:It's my legal technique.
AIRSTAR:You're legal technique isn't legal!
LITIGATION JACKSON:Whatever, it still works.
{Homestar lands right next to Airstar.}
HOMESTAR:You're free to go...{Coughs}
AIRSTAR:Coolio!
{Cut to Airstar at his CloudSon. He clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:Airstar Flyer is back in action after two longs days!
Dear Grandson,
I'm coming to visit.
Granpa Joe Flyer.
AIRSTAR:Grampa? Grampa Airbird Joe Flyer? I haven't seen him in a while. Sure grampa, come down for a visit. How old is that guy? Last time I saw him he was 75!
{Camerman 1 whispers something into his ear.}
AIRSTAR:He's....99? Wow. Thanks Gerry.
GERRY:No problem.
{He gets offscreen.}
AIRSTAR:Wow. He's gonna be tellin' me all his weird war stories about Korea. He's so old, he had to lie about his age to get in there. He was 41 when that war started. Well, this is gonna be painful.
{Airstar turns to the right. Zoom out. A nurse with black hair wheels Grampa Flyer in, who is all wrinkly and wearing a blue swaetshirt with a star, and has a blue hat just like the one Homestar wore in that "Deck" short. He also has striped pants. Airstar is staring at the nurse.}
GRAMPA FLYER:Hello....Airstar.
AIRSTAR:Hey hot nurse, I mean grampa.
GRAMPA FLYER:When I was in Korea, we were always hiding in bunkers for days and days, while my army buddy Sir Strong Bad fought along side me all the time. It was horrible!
AIRSTAR:{Not paying attention.} Uh-huh.
GRAMPA FLYER:Did you know that we're still technically at war with Korea? I say we reinvade thos commys and show him what's for!
AIRSTAR:Uh...grampa, isn't it time for your nap?
GRAMPA FLYER:YES!
{Falls asleep. Airstar walks over to the nurse.}
AIRSTAR:Hey. My name's Airstar.
NURSE:My name's Stacy.
{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat playing cards in their basement.}
STRONG BAD:I feel like there's a moment we could be ruining right now.
THE CHEAT:Meh meht.
STRONG BAD:Let's look!
{Cut to The Cheat and Strong Bad in the feild looking around. Bubs walks up.}
BUBS:Hey, guys. You lookin' for a moment to ruin?
STRONG BAD:Yeah man. My Strongy-senses were tingling. Wait, look! It's Airstar talking to a hot nurse in his blimp! We gotsta ruin that moment. But how? I know!
{Cut back to Airstar and Stacy talking.}
AIRSTAR:So I said, "Egh-"
{The Cheat flys over Airstar's head and lands on Grampa Flyer, waking him up.}
GRAMPA FLYER:Wha wha?!
AIRSTAR:Oh, great. Dad, go back to sleep.
GRAMPA FLYER:No, i'll tell you more war stories. This one time,
{Cut to an older Airbird Inventor in a green army uniform in color sitting behind a barrier next to an older Sir Strong Bad in color with an army geddup.}
AIRBIRD:Private Bad, I gotta go up and shoot!
{He gets up and shoots his gun and then ducks down.}
SIR STRONG BAD:OH MY GOD, THERE'S BOMBS!
{Bpmbs start to drop as Sir Strong Bad and Airbird run across the battle field, getting shot at by Koreans. Sir Strong Bad jumps in a tank while Airbird gets his gun and shoots everywhere. Sir Strong Bad goes into a tank battle against the Old-Timey version of the Korean Gangster. The Korean Soldier.}
KOREAN SOLDIER:양키 레몬 얼굴은 죽는다!
{He blasts Sir Strong Bad's tank and it explodes. Airbird runs outta bullets, and The Homestar Runner comes and starts shooting. Sir Strong Bad lands right next to Airbird. Airbird tries to resuccitate him. Koreans shoot The Homestar Runner. Cut to Airstar sitting down on his stool, bored while his Grampa is talking.}
GRAMPA FLYER:I tried to get them both to the medical tent, but they were closed on Sundays, so I had to replace Sir Strong Bad's lungs with my sock.
AIRSTAR:Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
GRAMPA FLYER:Let me tell you, I don't know why you're father didn't serve in Korea.
AIRSTAR:Probably because he was 15 when the Armstice was put down.
GRAMPA FLYER:Oh, right. Well he was 23 when 'Nam started.
AIRSTAR:Could this get any worse?
{Oxygenstar, Breathstar and Uncle Aridus come in.}
BREATHSTAR:Hey! Airyface!
AIRSTAR:Hey...mom.
OXYGENSTAR:Hey, how's it goin'?
AIRSTAR:Great...I guess.
UNCLE ARIDUS:Airstar, hello!
AIRSTAR:Uncle Aridus, hello! So why are you guys here?
BREATHSTAR:Well, Grampa Flyer is here, why not us?
AIRSTAR:Yeah...
UNCLE ARIDUS:So how's that wife of yours?
AIRSTAR:We got divorced seven months ago.
UNCLE ARIDUS:I see. Interesting.
{Homestar comes in.}
BREATHSTAR:He's your cousin, Homestar.
AIRSTAR:Hi.
HOMESTAR:Wassupa?
OXYGENSTAR:And here comes your brother, Planestar.
{An Homsar-looking guy with a blue hoodie with a star on it and a backwards cap comes in.}
PLANESTAR:Hey, Airyface! Ha, you suck.
AIRSTAR:Rgghh...
OXYGENSTAR:And here's your Grandma.
{Grandma Flyer gets wheeled in, wearing a white coat with white hair on her head.}
GRANDMA FLYER:Hello...
BREATHSTAR:Your sister, Oxy.
{An Airstar lookin' girl with a pantsuit on with blonde hair on her cellphone comes in.}
OXY:No, that's not what i'm talking about! Hi Airyface! Anyway, that's bull!
OXYGENSTAR:Of course, your other brother, Airody.
{A Homeschool lookin' guy with a striped blue sweater and glasses comes in.}
AIRODY:Hello, Airstar.
BREATHSTAR:The son of your cousin's sibling, Schoolstar Swiggle.
{Schoolstar comes in.}
OXYGENSTAR:Your grandparents on your mother's side, Grampa Heli and Grandma Coppy.
{Two more old people get wheeled in, with blue sweaters and old-people pants.}
AIRSTAR:Oh my god, what is this a family reunion?!
OXYGENSTAR:Yes!
{A baner comes down saying "Flyer Reunion '08" a buncha Airstar-lookin' relatives come in and start talking and eating the food on tables throughout the room.}
AIRSTAR:Ugghh...
{Homestar walks up to him with a croissant.}
HOMESTAR:Hey, cousin Airstar.
AIRSTAR:Hey, cousin Homestar.
HOMESTAR:So, how's life?
AIRSTAR:Pretty bad right now. I can't stand all these relatives.
{Oxy comes over to him}
OXY:Hey Airstar. How are you? Right now i'm the CEO of FlyerCo Inc. Organization. After this we have this big meeting with JellCo. We're buyin' them. So what do you do? Well FlyerCo Inc. Org. makes everything from A-Z. Apples to Zebra cakes.
AIRSTAR:Uh...yeah. I work as a writer for The Daily Show.
OXY:Yeah I have about four houses, one in the Hamptons, one in Beverly Hills, one in New York City and one in FCUSA. It's larger than Pom-Pom's.
AIRSTAR:I uhh...live in this blimp.
{Planestar comes over.}
PLANESTAR:Hey man, you suck.
AIRSTAR:What do you do for a living, Planestar?
PLANESTAR:I work for the Robber's Union. RU!
AIRSTAR:Oh my god...
{All these relatives come over and talk to him all at the same time.}
AIRSTAR:AHHHHHH!!!!
{Cut to the laundry room. The Chuck is in there. Airstar runs in and locks the door.}
AIRSTAR':The Chuck, those people are eating m alive! The only thing I look forward to is to get that hot nurse. I swear, I will not shave until I get her!
{The door opens and he gets pulled back out.}
AIRSTAR:NOOO!
{The paper comes down.}
