Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Tissue Bill?
From Umcom
{Airstar clicks on the "Email" icon on his desktop}
AIRSTAR:The email doesn't know,The email doesn't know,The email doesn't know,The email doesn't know,The email doesn't know? What was that?
Dear Airstar, We regret to inform you that you have exeeded your tissue bill. To keep your tissues, please send money, or Tickets to E3 or something cool like that. Sincerely, grabboarm700, Founder of Tissues Inc.
AIRSTAR:Tissue bill? Has KleenexTm made a tissue bill? I'll get to the bottom of this.
{Airstar gets up and start walking. He keeps on walking until he falls out of the blimp.}
AIRSTAR:AGGGHHHH! {He lands, and gets up, and keeps walking. "500 miles" by the Proclaimers starts playing in the background. Continous shots of Airstar walking are shown, until he stops at Bubs's to see Charlie and Craig Reid singing "500 miles".}
AIRSTAR:Whoa,wait! {The music stops.} The Proclaimers? What are you doing in FCUSA? Aren't you from Ireland or something?
CHARLIE:Well, we just like to play this song behind the counters of conncession stands in America when we see people walking to freak them out.
{Long pause.}
AIRSTAR:Why?
CRAIG REID:Because it's fun.
AIRSTAR:Cool. Anyway, where's KleenexTm Incorparated?
CHARLIE:Oh, it's 5,00 miles from here.
AIRSTAR:So, to get there, I would have to,
ALL:{Singing} Walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man that walked 5,000 miles, and fall down at you're door, Huddatu! Huddatu! Huddatu!
{The music stops. Cut to Airstar walking in past a sign that says "Welcome to Frankfort, the home of Frank's fort? We got nothin'." He stops to talk to some Kentucky native guy.}
AIRSTAR:Hey, Frankforter!
FRANKFORTER:Uh, yeah?
AIRSTAR:Is KleenexTm about, 4,750 miles from here?
FRANKFORTER:Uh, how the EDITED EDITED EDITED EDITED whould I know? But yes.
AIRSTAR:Thanks highly censored Frankforter.
FRANKFORTER:No prob.
{Airstar starts walking again. 500 miles starts playing again. There's a shot of Airstar walking in Chicago. Hobos are everywhere and a wall says "H44WP wuz here!" Then we cut to Airstar at the Canadian border tollbooth.}
CANDADIAN GUY AT TOLLBOOTH:{A baby walks up to the canadian tollbooth guy.}Aren't you a cute little baby? Where's you're mommy?
BABY:GUGUGUGUGU {The baby rolls of the cliff of the mountain they're on.}
AIRSTAR:Excuse me, sir?
CANADIAN TOLLBOOTH GUY:Aren't you a cute little baby? Where's you're mommy?
AIRSTAR:{Weirded out} Um...uh-huh. I just need to cross the border. You see, KleenexTm has made a tissue bill! I need to destroy it! And they're headquarters are in Canada for some reason.
CANADIAN TOLLBOOTH GUY:Alright, little baby! Go ahead.
AIRSTAR:Thanks.
{Airstar crosses the border. Cut to a snowy canadian day. He can see something in the distance. Some kid walks up to him.}
SOME KID:Hi. I'm Totalspaceshipguy3. Welcome to Canada, American! We've had alot of visitors lately. Like these guys.
{Cut to Strong Bad and Homestar in skiing attire.}
AIRSTAR:Whoa, why are you guys here?
STRONG BAD:We needed to do something for Summer. I brought The Cheat, too. He's in the cabin up there. He likes this place. Esspecially the Coldson beer. They make it here you know.
AIRSTAR:Aren't we like kinda-sorta enemies?
STRONG BAD:Let's put that aside. How many emails has there been where a huge plot like the Tissue bill thing happened?
AIRSTAR:Um, ten,fourteen,eighteen,ninteen,twenty,twenty-three,twenty-four,twenty-eight, and now twenty-nine.
STRONG BAD:Yeah. So it's time to take a break from the big plots.
AIRSTAR:What am I gonna do about the tissue bill?
STRONG BAD:Well, you shoulda taken you're blimp in the first place, but we can steal a plane from the Canadian army.
AIRSTAR:Wouldn't they shoot us?
STRONG BAD:Come on, the Canadian army hasn't fought in such a long time, most of them are now 60 year olds named Karl.
AIRSTAR:Okay!
{Cut to Strong Bad and Airstar sneaking into the "cCAGnDian ArBase" they open the gate easily and they see a buncha planes with spider-webs all over em'. The soldiers are taking they're 5:00 PM nap. Strong Bad sneaks up to one of the 60 year old's cots and takes the keys. They both get in the plane. They go in the cockpit.}
STRONG BAD:I'll drive.
AIRSTAR:What are you, insane?! You don't know anything about flying!
STRONG BAD:Well, neither do you!
AIRSTAR:Yes I do! I LIVE IN A BLIMP!
STRONG BAD:Fine. Here's the keys.
{Strong Bad tosses the keys to Airstar. He puts them in the ignition. They take off through the sky. Strong Bad walks to the back of the plane and finds it's like an RV. There's a fridge,a couch,some tables,a bedroom and a btahroom. He gets a cold one outta the fridge. And sits down and takes a sip.}
STRONG BAD:Ah, realaxing. Good thing Homestar isn't here!
{Homestar comes outta the bedroom with a robe and a stubbly chin.}
HOMESTAR:{Yawns} Hey Strong Bad. Oh, my chin stubble is back.
STRONG BAD:First of all, why are you here?
HOMESTAR:I decided to take a nap in an RV plane after you guys left me in the snow when we find out Airstar was-
{Charlie and Craig Reid come outta the bathroom with guitars.}
CHARLIE AND CRAIG:Walking 500 miles and I would 500 more just to be the man who walked 5,000 mi-
{Homestar loads a gun and shoots both of them down.}
HOMESTAR:Anyway, yeah.
STRONG BAD:How'd you get stubble? We were gone for 5 minutes!
HOMESTAR:It's possible.
STRONG BAD:No it's not!
{The plane lands at KleenexTm Incorparated. Strong Bad, Airstar and Homestar walk into the headquarters. They see tissue boxes everywhere. The entire building looks like a tissue box. They start walking down a long hallway. Lights come on as they walk under them. At the end of the hallway they see a guy in a brown suit at a computer. They walk up to him.}
AIRSTAR:Sir?
{The guy turns around.}
MAN:AH! You scared me.
AIRSTAR:Hey. Who are you and where's the boss?
MAN:I am the boss. I'm the only man in the world working for Kleenex. Name's John Kleenex the 4th.
AIRSTAR:How do you make tissues and tissue boxes at this computer?
JOHN KLEENEX:I print out tissues, and this machine makes the boxes. I pour them all into a garage, and the Canadian army ships them around the world. It's all me!
AIRSTAR:Doesn't the Canadian army work for you?
JOHN KLEENEX:No. They just doing they're jobs. I even make the commercials! The other people you see on Kleenex commercials? They're robots built by me. Now what do you want?
AIRSTAR:I want...um...I forgot. Have a nice day, sir!
{Cut back to the Skypy.}
AIRSTAR:What a day, Grabby. I don't remember why I went to Canada. See ya!
{The paper comes down}
