Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Three Wishes
From Umcom
{Airstar sits down at his computer with a Homsar Dream ice cream cone in his hand. He clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:Airstar's back with non sad emails! Yeah!
Dear Airfly Starrer,
I have given you three wishes.
Use them well.
I think I have an idea for one...
Guy Guyerson.
AIRSTAR:{Puts ice cream cone on napkin.} You think you have an idea for one? I thought it was MY three wishes! Jeez. Anyway, Mr.Guyerson, there's alot of things i'd like to get rid of. Like murderers,Republicans,Sugar free ice cream,those people who where little clips on there ear for cell phones, so when every time they make a call they sound like they're talking to themselves. I'd like to get rid of Terrel Owens, and Donald Trump's haircut, Matrix sequels and Toby Keith. Pretty much all country music, as well as all registered Independents. i'd like to get rid of racism and torture, as well as Dick Cheney, but I guess that goes very well up there in the category of Republicans. But if there were three things I really want to get...i'd have to think about it.
SCHOOLSTAR:{Offscreen} You know, Airstar...
{Airstar turns around in his chair. Schoolstar is holding a newspaper and drinking coffee.}
AIRSTAR:Yeah?
SCHOOLSTAR:You know what MY three wishes would be?
AIRSTAR:Yes, and nobody cares.
SCHOOLSTAR:My first one would be to be able to river dance.
AIRSTAR:Oh, come on! You don't know how to river dance?
{He starts riverdancing. Irish music plays in the background. After 10 seconds, he sits down and the music stops.}
AIRSTAR:See?
SCHOOLSTAR:My second would to be a doctor.
{Fantasy sequence. It cuts to FCUSA Hospital. Schoolstar is in a doctor's coat is at the nurse's station. He's looking at a clipboard. All th nurses look like Pom Pom's girlfriends in scrubs. A nurse comes up to Dr.Swiggle.}
DR.SWIGGLE:This guy needs 30 MEQs and a gastric bypass, stat.
NURSE:Sure thing, Dr.Swiggle.
{She walks away.}
DR.SWIGGLE:Nice.
{Another nurse hands Dr.Swiggle a clipboard.}
DR.SWIGGLE:Hmm...this guy has Anosmia. Probably caused by multiple polynasial hits in his nasal sinuses. Tell him.
NURSE:Yes, Dr.Swiggle.
{She walks away.}
DR SWIGGLE:I love my job.
{Cut back to reality.}
AIRSTAR:How do you know so many medical terms?
SCHOOLSTAR:I watch alot of ER. Anyway, my third wish would be to clean up Lake Bubsteer!
AIRSTAR:It's not that dirty!
{An explosion is heard.}
SCHOOLSTAR:What was that?
{Airstar looks out the window. Then he sits back down.}
AIRSTAR:It was Lake Bubsteer, but my point is we can't waste the monies! I'm still trying to think of some.
{Homsar44withpie walks in with a Homsar's Dream in hand.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:My first wish would be to be able to eat all the Homsar Dreams I can take!
AIRSTAR:You really like that ice cream.
HOMSAR44:Guilty!
WITHPIE:Yep.
AIRSTAR:Uh...okay.
SCHOOLSTAR:I need to go check my email. See ya!
AIRSTAR:Alright, cool. See ya. Hmmm...3 wishes? What should I make them?
{The Chuck comes in.}
THE CHUCK:My first wish would be to go to Italy and be a chef of epic proportions!
{Cut to The Chuck in a French kitchen. He has a moustache and is wearing a chef's hat while chopping up meat.}
CHEF THE CHUCK:This is-a fine-a meat-a! Everybody-a loves me! Here in France-a! And now for cameos-a!
{Mario comes in.}
MARIO:It's a me, Mario!
{That rat from Ratilltoie comes in.}
RAT:Hey-{The Chuck stabs him repeatedly. Luigi comes in.}
LUGI:Yay-a! I love-a stuff-a!
{They all start dancing. Cut back to The Chuck in the computer room.}
THE CHUCK:Heeh...the world would be great.
{Homestar comes in with Pom-Pom.}
HOMESTAR:Well, I would tuwn evewything into-
AIRSTAR:Let me guess, marshmallows?
HOMESTAR:No. Sloshy merchandise!
{Homestar puts on a Sloshy t-shirt.}
HOMESTAR:Strong Bad made me love it! But fow some weason he doesn't like it anymowe. Sloshy wocks!
POM-POM:{Foot disease noises, I mean Pom-Pom noises}
{Cut to Bubs at his conncession stand selling Sloshy merchandise.}
BUBS:We got Sloshy T-shirts! {Holds up Sloshy t-shirt.} We got sloshy dolls?! {Holds up a doll of a brown haired guy with a jacket on and glasses.} We got Sloshy moustache shavers! {Holds up a shaver with the "Sloshy" logo on it.} We also got Sloshy Limoozeen shirts! {He holds up a Limozeen shirt with Sloshy written over it.}
{Strong Bad comes with a Limozeen shirt and starts bashing the stand with a hammer. Bubs gets on top of the conncession stand and starts throwing barrels of Sloshy t-shirts down at Strong Bad. He jumps over them one by one. Then he keeps climbing the stand and avoiding the barrels all at the same time. He gets to the top with a hammer until Bubs amkes him trip with another Sloshy barrel. Strong Bad falls down. Game over appears on screen. Homestar walks up to the top of Bubs's and rescues Marzipan.}
HOMESTAR:I saved Pauline!
{Marzipan kisses Homestar.}
HOMESTAR:Wait, you aren't Pauline.
{Homestar throws Marzipan off the stand.}
HOMESTAR:Now I gotta go to eat some white dots at the Sloshy maze. See ya!
{Homestar runs off. Cut back to real life.}
AIRSTAR:That's great, Homestar. But it's my 3 wishes. Hmm...my first one would be to climb Mount Everest with Strong Bad and The Chuck. And also that guy over there!
{Cut to some guy on the feild. A light points at him.}
THAT GUY:Ahh! What do you want?!
AIRSTAR:{Offscreen.} Nothing! {Cut back to Airstar,Homestar,Homsar44withpie and The Chuck in the computer room.}
AIRSTAR:Ok! Now for Guy Guyerson to grant my wishes!
{Airstar rubs his computer. Guy Guyerson the genie comes out.}
GUY GUYERSON:What is your first wish?
AIRSTAR:To climb Mount Everest with Strong Bad, The Chuck, and That guy.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:And Homsar44withpie!
AIRSTAR:What?
GUY GUYERSON:Okay then!
{He snaps his fingers. Cut to Airstar, Strong Bad, The Chuck and Homsar44withpie at the bottom of Mount Everest with backpacks and coats.}
AIRSTAR:Uh, let's go!
{They start walking up the snow.}
STRONG BAD:How long is this take?
AIRSTAR:A long time.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:I could make a Homsar's dream out of snow! And this food coloring.
{H44WP takes out food coloring. He gets some snow and makes it blue. Then he puts it on a stick. He takes a lick.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Not that good.
THE CHUCK:Meh meh meh meh meh. I mean, what is that?
{They see a big oval lump in the snow. They all walk up to it.}
AIRSTAR:What could it be?
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:I don't know. But I know I don't so it's a known unknown. It's not one of those uknown unknowns that you don't know you don't know you know?
AIRSTAR:Uh, okay. So do we like, kick it?
{Airstar hears a noise and turns around to see a door of snow. Schoolstar comes out.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Hey, I need to talk to you real quick!
AIRSTAR:Kinda busy!
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh, sorry.
{He goes back in the door. Cut to inside the door. There's a slide with a buncha coins on it. Schoolstar starts sliding until he gets to the nd of the slide. He flies off to a star! He gets the star. He holds it up in the air.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Here we go!
{Cut back to the climbers around the lump.}
AIRSTAR:Wow. Three Mario refrences in one email. Anyway, maybe it's just a rock.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:No. It's obviously a-
{The lump pops out of the ground. It's Bubs's head.}
BUBS:Hey guys! Come get low prices on stuff at Bubs's!
STRONG BAD:No.
{Strong Bad smushes Bubs's face with his foot. Cut to all of them climbing up the mountain by holding onto rocks and using equipment. Strong Bad is climbing two feet below Airstar, Homsar44withpie is climbing 4 feet above Airstar, and The Chuck is on Airstar's back. They keep climbing up and up.}
AIRSTAR:Oh, god...THIS WAS MY WISH?!
STRONG BAD:It wasn't my wish! I was dragged into this!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Me too!
AIRSTAR:No, you volunteered!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Oh yeah.
{They all reach a pathway. They climb up on it and start walking. A screen comes up with a sillhouette of two people with hammers in front of a purple background. The top says "Warning! Challenger Approaching!" sirens are going off.}
OVERVOICE:HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!
{Cut to the Ice Climbers from Super Smash Bros. Melee walking down to where they are.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Oh, great.
ICE CLIMBERS:Hault! What do you want?
AIRSTAR:To get to the top of the mouNtain!
ICE CLIMBER:No way Jose'! You'll have to get through us!
{Suddenly a few shots of Captain Falcon from Super Smash Bros. Melee pop on screen of him fighting people. Then he lands in front of the Ice Climbers.}
CAPTAIN FALCON:What are you doing picking on these kids?
AIRSTAR:I'm 30!
CAPTAIN FALCON:What are you doing picking on these 30-year old kids?
ICE CLIMBER:You can't beat us! Now move!
{Captain Falcon starts punching and kicking mid air.}
CAPTAIN FALCON:Oooh! Check out these moves! You better start running now!
{The Ice Climbers start hammering Captain Falcon of the mountain. He falls off.}
CAPTAIN FALCON:Oh nooooo!!!
AIRSTAR:Anyway, we can fights you!
{Montage sequence! Of Airstar,Strong Bad, The Chuck and Homsar44withpie beating the crap outta the Ice Climbers. Cut to the knocked out Ice Climbers unchonshese on the ground.}
AIRSTAR:That's what you get for messing with a Ninja!
STRONG BAD:You're not a ninja!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:I am!
{Homsar44 does a flip.}
AIRSTAR:Wow. You're good.
{Cut to a montage of them climbing the mountain. "500 Miles" plays in the background. Cut to the top of the mountain. Airstar and the rest are crawling to the top. They almost make it when Darknight Creeper parachutes down to where they are.}
AIRSTAR:Ugghh...I am so sick of you person!
DARKNIGHT:Sorry if I crashed the party, but I'm gonna ruin your first wish! Mu ha ha ha! And now for your death!
{Suddenly, some guy that looks like a pixely guy with a cane and top hat comes out of midair.}
PIXELY GUY:Not on my watch! Bleh heh heh heh heh! Bleck! I'll kidnap them! And then you!
AIRSTAR:Wait, you're Count Bleck from Super Paper Mario! Geez, MikeControl has been playing too much Wii. Amd hanging around the Super Mario Wiki too much.
{Some swat looking guys with the logo "FWP" on there chest run to the top of the mountain with guns.}
FWP OFFICER:Fourth wall police! Who just mentioned the author's Mario obbsession?
AIRSTAR:Uh...Count Bleck and Darknight!
COUNT BLECK:What?!
{The FWP take down and arrest both of them. Airstar and the rest get to the top of the mountain.}
AIRSTAR:Well, time for the flag.
{Airstar puts a flag on top of the mountain. The flag has Airstar's,Homsar44's,The Chuck's and Strong Bad's heads all in a circle. The genie comes back.}
GUY GUYERSON:What's your second wish?
AIRSTAR:Hmm...I want to go into famous paintings and talk to the people in them.
GUY GUYERSON:Okay!
{Airstar pops up behind the screaming guy in "The Scream".}
AIRSTAR:Uh, hey.
{He turns around.}
SCREAMING GUY:What? Tryin' to scream here.
AIRSTAR:Why?
SCREAMING GUY:First of all, my name's Kyle. Second of all, I'm screaming because I was featured in a horror flick. AGGGHHHHH! See?
AIRSTAR:Uh...cool. What's with the people behind us on this generic bridge?
KYLE:They're just generic people on the Generic bridge in Generica, North Genricota, USA.
{One of the generic people walking on the Generic bridge turns around.}
GENERIC GUY:My name's Rod!
KYLE:Shut up!
AIRSTAR:Yeah Klew, I gotta go.
KYLE:Klew? How could you possibly confuse Kyle with Klew? I'm not even sure that's a name! I 'll through you in Generic Lake if you call Klew!
{Airstar warps to The Mona Lisa.}
MONA LISA:What do you want, no armed caucasian?
AIRSTAR:Um, I want to know why-caucasian? Anyway, why are you smiling in this painting?
MONA LISA:I'm not smiling! Get him outta here, Leonardo!
{Leonardo DaVinci comes over and throws Airstar out. He goes back to the canvas.}
LEONARDO:Okay, try not to smile!
MONA LISA:I'm just kinda glad you threw that creep out.
{Mona Lisa smirks. Leonardo starts painting. Cut to Airstar warping right next to Jesus eating his last supper.}
AIRSTAR:Hey! Aren't you my carpenter?
JESUS:Yeah, you can't even remember my name you stupid bi-
LEONARDO DAVINCI:{Offscreen} Pose!
{All of the people at the table pose for the painting. The genie comes down to Airstar.}
GUY GUYERSON:Now, what is your third wish?
AIRSTAR:To be in a Dangereque movie!
GUY GUYERSON:Okay!
AIRSTAR:Bye James!
{Cut to Airstar with orange sunglasses and Dangeresque and Dangeresque 2 in Ronaldo's office. Ronaldo is sitting at his desk.}
RONALDO:I'd like you to meet our new agent. Dangersorta!
DANGERSORTA:Hey you two. It's me, Dangersorta! Time for an unneccasary fight!
{Dangersorta is suddenly on Bubs's fighting with Darknight Creeper with a belt and some fake fangs.}
DANGERSORTA:I've been waiting since you stole my engine to do this, Viper Villian!
{Dangersorta kicks Viper Villian off Bubs's.}
AIRSTAR:Yes!
{The paper comes down.}
