Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/The Chuck!
From Umcom
{The email starts at a black screen reading "Previously on Airstar emails..."}
AIRSTAR:Previously on Airstar emails,
{Cut to Schoolstar in an ice cube in the artic.}
SCHOOLSTAR:AGG! I FROZE TO DEATH!!
{It cuts to a video will with Airstar in it.}
SCHOOLSTAR:You guys don't get anythin'! But dig it all you got behind the KOT'S castle.
{Cut to all the sysops and Airstar running around in a feild.}
AIRSTAR:We're friends!!
JOSHUA:Yeah!!
{Cut to Airstar reading and inscription on a statue.}
AIRSTAR:S is not real 1901?!
{Homestar comes up in front of the screen.}
HOMESTAR:Is any of that twue?
{Airstar comes up.}
AIRSTAR:Some one will have to read it back to me. But if you didn't read the last one, READ IT NOW!!
{Cut to Airstar at his Skypy in someone's house.. He clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:I gots the hook-up!
Hey you!
I still live in you closet!
If you want to see The Chubk again
Give me an ice cram cone.
That guy who lives in your closet
AIRSTAR:Oh no!! I lose Schoolstar and now I might lose The Chuck? WHERE DOES IT END?! Wait, I thought The Chuck was in Hawaiai?
{Cut to The Chuck on the beach wearing sunglasses with an umbrella over his head. Homsar44withpie sneaks up on him with a bag in his hand. He takes The Chuck away in the bag. Cut back to Airstar}
AIRSTAR:Well, I better go get him. To the closet!
{Cut to Airstar back in room. He creeps up to the closet and slowly opens it. There's a note.}
AIRSTAR:A note? Why is there a note?
{He picks up the note.}
AIRSTAR:S and C is real 2001-Q? What does that mean? Where is he?
{Airstar turns the note around. It says "Figure it out Airyface!"}
AIRSTAR:Hmm...S and C? Wait a minute...
{It cuts to a flashback. Airstar is reading the inscription on the Star statue in the KOT'S backyard.}
LAST EMAIL AIRSTAR:S is real 2001?
{Cut back to present.}
AIRSTAR:Now it's S and C? WTPF? Whats i'm gonna do? Wait, Schoolstar died...and The Chuck is kidnapped...and that will was recorded in 2001...it has something to do with that statue! I better call the rest!
{Airstar picks up his celly and starts dialing. Cut to Homestar on his cell phone.}
HOMESTAR:Yeah, i'll come.
{Cut to Homeschool on his phone.}
HOMESCHOOL:{Sobbing} Yeah i'll come.
{Cut to Joshua on his phone.}
JOSHUA:Yeah, i'll come. I don't know why i'm gonna drive to you're state all the way from South Carolina to bring a Fake character back to life and rescue a Cheat but i'll come cause i'm bored.
{Cut to all of the people who were called and Airstar at the Star Statue behind the KOT'S castle.}
AIRSTAR:Now the statue says the same thing it said on the note! S and C are real 2001! S and C stands for Schoolstar (may his soul rest in peace) and The Chuck, who was kidnapped by Homsar44withpie, who lives in my closet! We just have to find a way that this statue means something.
HOMESTAR:We could talk to the KOT. It's in his backyawd.
AIRSTAR:Okay.
JOSHUA:Sure.
HOMESCHOOL:Why not?
{Cut to the KOT eating off a bat's head in his kitchen. Airstar rushes in.}
AIRSTAR:Hey, King of Town! I-who are you, Ozzy Osborne? Anyway, I need to ask you about something. And here to help me is 53 year old millionaire comedian, Jerry Seinfeld!
{Jerry walks up to Airstar with a microphone.}
JERRY SEINFELD:Hey everybody!
AIRSTAR:What's with that statue in you're backyard?
JERRY SEINFELD:What's the deal with the statue in you're backyard? First of all, it has a cryptic message! Why are the tryin' to creep us out like that? Something about Superman!
KOT:It was a gift from an old wise man, Said something about sacrifice and win. I dunno.
AIRSTAR:But the statue changed its inscription overnight!
JERRY SEINFELD:I coulda sworn it changed the inscription! What's the deal with that? Are they tryin' to confuse us? Why would they? For no reason? Cause' they were bored? I dunno! Somethin' about Florida! It's the 90's!
KOT:Hmm...maybe it was some prankster. One time my Lizard died, cause I ate it, and I got mad, so I through one of my servants at the statue, and there was another lizard that looked exactly like it came out of there. I never saw that servant again, though.
AIRSTAR:Uh, kay'. See ya!
{Airstar comes back to the backyard.}
AIRSTAR:Wasn't any help. And neither was Seinfeld.
JERRY SEINFELD:{Offscreen} What's the deal with the KOT eating me? I mean, why is he doing it? I think it really hurts. Agggh, agggh. See? Somethin' about my parents! He's got my leg! Whats the deal with that?
AIRSTAR:Hmm. Anyway, Schoolstar's funeral starts soon. Let's go.
{Cut to the feild. There is a coffin with a buncha pictures of Schoolstar on it, and a podium. There are flowers on the coffin. Every Homestar main character, along with Homeschool, Airstar, Joshua and a picture of The Chuck are sitting in foldout chairs watching, all in suits and stuff. Airstar's parents, Oxygenstar and Breathstar are there too.}
STRONG BAD:What's in the coffin? I thought he burned to death.
HOMESTAR:There's nothin' in there, it's just for show.
STRONG BAD:Ah.
{The Bishop walks up to the podium.}
THE BISHOP:Calm down. Calm down everyone. I am a real blonde. Now today, we remember Homeschool Whiner, he was a good ma-
HOMESCHOOL:I'm right here, idiot!
THE BISHOP:AHHH! ZOMBIE!
{The bishop runs away. Homestar walks up to the podium.}
HOMESTAR:Sowwy about that. Anyway, it was Schoolstaw that died. He was a good man. He died at the early age of 16. Oh, how young he was. Now a weading fwom the book of phone.
{Audience groans. Homestar takes out the Phone book and opens it.}
HOMESTAR:Chaptew 17, Ski Shops. Ice Widge Ski and Boawd, Avelanche Skiing, and Geowge Washington's Skiing teeth?! And now Schoolstaw's closest fwiend, Stwong Sad, will do the Euology.
{Homestar leaves the podium, and Strong Sad walks up to it.}
STRONG SAD:Now, uh, I have a fear of public speaking, which means i'd rather be in that coffin than doing the eulogy.
{Audience laughs}
STRONG SAD:Or, i'd rather be in the coffin than doing anything, really. My life sucks. Anyway, Schoolstar was a close friend of mine. The only friend besides Homsar I have. We played board games, wrote poems about death in the rain. He told me in August 2005 that he would probably die from being burned to death. He was right. It's two years later, now. He told me how everybody forgets his birthday, which is July 22. Not to long ago. You were actualy wrong about his age, he's 17. Not 16. What's his middle name, Airstar?
AIRSTAR:Umm...Schoolstar?
STRONG SAD:No! It's Schoolstar Joseph Swiggle. He had a girlfriend from June 2005 to July 2005. Her name was Marki Swiggle. He changed his last name from Whiner to Swiggle because of her. ALL OF YOU KNEW NOTHING ABOUT HIM!! ALL OF YOU!! Thank you.
{Strong Sad leaves the podium. Cut to Airstar making a new blimp in a huge garage. He's working on the engine. Homeschool walks up to him.}
HOMESCHOOL:Do you think that statue can bring my son back to life?
{Airstar turns around with sweat on his shirt and a wrench.}
AIRSTAR:I don't know. But I know I don't know, so it's a known unknown. It's not one of those unknown unknowns that you don't know you don't know you know?
HOMESCHOOL:Uh...
{Homestar walks in.}
HOMESTAR:My head huwts fwom heawing that.
HOMESCHOOL:I think I get it.
HOMESTAR:I have no idea. What numbew blimp is this?
AIRSTAR:It's blimp number 12. I go throw blimps like tissues. My first blimp was my Mom and Dad's blimp. Good times.
HOMESTAR:Don't you miss Schoolstar?
AIRSTAR:Course I do. The only death i've ever been through is my cat's death in 1987. That's when I was a one minute cartoon on the Tracy Ullman show.
{Cut to a badly animated Airstar,Schoolstar and The Chuck looking at a grave labeled "Fluff-types" with a badly animated blimp in the background.}
TRACY ULLMAN AIRSTAR:{Deep voice for some reason} He was a good cat. And now he's dead. Fluff-types will be missed.
TRACY ULLMAN THE CHUCK:{Canandian accent} He's dead eh? I'm sad eh?
TRACY ULLMAN SCHOOLSTAR:{In a high voice.} Why??
{Cut back to Airstar making a blimp while Homeschool and Homestar watch.}
HOMESCHOOL:How were you a grown up 20 years ago?
AIRSTAR:I wasn't. {He goes back to making the engine on the blimp.}
HOMESTAR:Well, what is a way to bring Schoolstar back to life?
{Airstar turns around.}
AIRSTAR:Maybe, just maybe, THERE ISN'T A WAY! Where were you the day they were passing out common sense?! Maybe you were running late that day! Maybe you went to the dumb dumb store and spent all you're money! But I was there! And my common sense knows that when you die, YOU'RE DEAD! There's nothing, and hear me out Tasha, NOTHING that can make a person come back to life, the only thing even CLOSE to doing that, is giving people FALSE HOPE! The statue is a COINCEDENCE! It doesn't matter! Schoolstar is DEAD! Deadsies! Deadas! Whatever you wanna call it! I high-l-l-l-HIGHLY doubt that some freakin' statue is gonna a bring Schoolstar back to life! AGGHH! {He kicks the engine.} Every body OUT!!
{Homestar and Homeschool run away.}
AIRSTAR:AGGGHHH! {He sits down and starts crying.}
{The paper starts to come down,}
AIRSTAR:Don't even think about it!
{The paper goes up. Airstar continues crying. To be continued.}
