Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Sick
From Umcom
{Cut to Airstar couting money at his computer desk.}
AIRSTAR:Now I only need 1,522,188 dollars to get my relatives and Stacy back! How am I ever going to come up with that kind of cash/money?
{Schoolstar comes in.}
SCHOOLSTAR:I could give you the money that I make from my job at Blubb-O's.
{He hands him 12 bucks.}
AIRSTAR:Thanks. 1,522,176 to go.
{The Chuck comes in.}
THE CHUCK:You could go on "The Show".
AIRSTAR:That's a great idea! I'll do it to it!
{Cut to Airstar on the set of the show. Homestar is talking to the audience.}
HOMESTAR:So, Airstar, what's your status?
AIRSTAR:Uhh...i'm 31, single and I live in a blimp.
HOMESTAR:Interesting. Now let's get to asking the questions! Question number 1. What was created in 1776?
AIRSTAR:The United States.
HOMESTAR:No, a book by Edward Gibbon called "The History Of The Decline and The Fall of The Roman Empire".
AIRSTAR:Oh, come on!
HOMESTAR:You have -50 dollars. Get up to 0!
AIRSTAR:....Yeah.
HOMESTAR:Who was the 16th president?
AIRSTAR:Abraham Lincoln!
HOMESTAR:Nope! The 16th president of Brazil was Augusto Tasso Fragoso! Geez...-100 dollars! What did Steve Jobs do in 1976?
AIRSTAR:Founded Apple Computers!
HOMESTAR:Nope! He had a sandwhich on July 15, 1976. -150 dollars!
AIRSTAR:Rgghh...
HOMESTAR:What happened on March 19, 2003?
AIRSTAR:We went to War with Iraq for some reason!
HOMESTAR:Nope! Paul Tworney became the new president of ICANN. -200 dollars!
AIRSTAR:RFGGGGHGGGGHHGH!
{Cut to Airstar at his CloudSon.}
AIRSTAR:Well I ended up getting a question right. So now I got 50 bucks. Just 1,522,126 dollars to go! Anyway,
{He clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:WHAT IF I SAY MY EMAILS NOT LIKE THE OTHERS? WHAT IF I SAY IT'S NOT JUST ANOTHER OOOOONE! YOUR PLACE! YOUR EMAIL'S THE PRETENDER! WHAT IF I SAY I WILL NEVER SURRENDER!
Hi airstar!
Can you help me out? My cheat is somehow sick after watching killer penguins. Anything you can do?
Hardhat runner.
AIRSTAR:Sick? Killer penguins? Stupid name? OMG! Hardhat, I will take care of your Cheat for money. Because I need it for LOAH! Stupid me-haters. Alright, i'll look up your house on Gloogle Maps.
{He clicks on the Internet icon and Gloogle pops up. He goes to Gloogle sattelite and types in "FCUSA" and it takes him to a bird's eye view of the King Of Town's castle. He scrolls right past the Spooky Woods, Strongbadia, The Stick, Bubs' Concession Stand, The King Of Town High School, Homestar's House, Marzipan's House, Homsar's House, Strong Bad's House, Airstar's Blimp, The Bar, The Pond and stops at Hardhat Runner's house and jots down the adress.}
AIRSTAR:Got it! THE CHUCK! SET COURSE FOR THE POND!
THE CHUCK:Meh!
{Cut to the blimp landing in front of a house near the pond. Airstar gets out and walks into the house. Cut to inside the house, which has red walls with hardwood floors and a purple couch in the foyer. Hardhat Runner walks out of a room and hands Airstar his The Cheat, who is white and has sharp teeth.}
HARDHAT:Makes sure he takes his meds. He will explode if he doesn't get them. Also, keep him away from Perry the dead hamster. Or my dad, who is in the fish tank in the backyard. Be sure to keep the stove at 117 degrees for my lab. Wash my robe, clean my massage bed and rob the nextdoor neighbors. Bye!
{He leaves.}
AIRSTAR:Okay...let's get your meds.
{Airstar walks into the kitchen where alot of boiling pots and pans are and he looks in the medicine cabinet and grabs his meds, ad goes back to the hallway and feds him them. Then he takes him into the living room which is dark and has a green couch and flatscreen TV.}
AIRSTAR:Cool.
{He picks up the remote nad turns it on.}
MAN FROM TV:My wife Merlon is sick and will die and is dead.
MERLON FROM TV:I am alive due to my love for you!
MAN FROM TV:Me?
MERLON:No, Richard. Your dad!
HIS DAD FROM TV:Me?
MERLON:Yes, you!
{Making out noises.}
AIRSTAR:Ooh...plot twist.
{Albino walks away. Cut to the kitchen. Albino goes up to the pot and dives in it. Cut to Airstar on the couch.}
AIRSTAR:{He sniffs.} Who-
{The house explodes. Cut to Homestar on his couch watching TV.}
HOMESTAR:Did I hear something? Is Iraq invading us?
{Cut to the TV. The Announcer is at a news desk.}
THE ANNOUNCER:We have breaking news, Hardhat Runner, who is Homestar Runner's crazy moron who changed his last name, Hardhat Runer's house has exploded. Hardhat was not in the house, instead Airstar Flyer was. We can only assume that he is dead.
{The TV shows a black background with a picture of Airstar and "1976-2008" under it. Cut to Homestar, jaw dropped.}
HOMESTAR:Oh, cwap. MARZIPAN! AIRSTAR'S DEAD!
MARZIPAN:{Offscreen} WHAAAT?!
{Cut to Strong Bad on his couch watching TV with The Cheat.}
STRONG BAD:Oh my gosh, Airstar's dead! What time is it The Cheat?
THE CHEAT:Meh Mehna.
STRONG BAD:10:30? Got it.
{Cut to Schoolstar and The Chuck watching it sitting on their inflatable green couch in the tv room.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh my god!
THE CHUCK:It can't be true!
{Cut to Airstar's body at night laying on smoking rubble. His eyes open. Cut to Coach Z in the shower.}
COACH Z:I can't belorve it! I'm out of Head and Shoulders! Anywor, I should get out of the shower.
{He gets out of the shower and a radio is on the bench.}
THE ANNOUNCER:Airstar Leo Flyer, is dead.
COACH Z:Holy gorsh!
{Cut to Schoolstar and The Chuck in the TV room.}
THE CHUCK:....I have a hunch that it's not true.
SCHOOLSTAR:{Sniff.} Really? You think we can sacrifice him like in Season 5?
THE CHUCK:No. He's still alive. I can feel his presence somewhere. Tommorow morning we're going to investigate.
SCHOOLSTAR:I'll take over his email duties.
THE CHUCK:Okay.
{Cut to Airstar laying on the rubble with his eyes open. He tries to get up, but is too weak. A buncha guys in brown robes come. Cut to a big "Airstar Emails" logo with a black background. Airstar falls into it. The paper comes down.}
