Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Record
From Umcom
{Cut to The Chuck on a green computer called the "Loli 7000". He's on Instant Messenger. His name is "LoliFreak74"}
LOLIFREAK74:U R SO DEAD.
BAKFROMDEAD90:I alredy died befor e hiw can i die again?
{Airstar comes in.}
AIRSTAR:The Chuck, I gotta use your computer until Strong Bad gets The Skypy fixed. So get up.
THE CHUCK:Meh...
{The Chuck jumps up and Airstar sits down. Airstar clicks on his Airstar Email account.}
AIRSTAR:Email on the Loli, hope there's no Flaweys.
subject: Old-Style RecadsHey person, Do you listen to old records?
Which is your favorite old disgusting record?
AIRSTAR:Old disgusting record? Yeahs, I got some of those. Mostly because my Grandfather's older brother, Glider "Bigshot" Flyer was the best musician around in the 1920's,1930's, and most of the 1940's. He was born in 1895 in FCUSA, Georgia. I have a huge collection of his records. Let me show you.
{Airstar gets up, and the shot zooms out to see he's in The Chuck's room. He walks out. Cut to his room.}
AIRSTAR:They're so valuable, I keep them behind this wall, and there's a secret mechanism that has it open. But since I don't know if any of my viewers are robbers or not, turn off the camera.
{The screen goes black for a few seconds. Then it cuts to Airstar's room with the wall open. There's many records on a shelf.}
AIRSTAR:These were passed down from Glider to my dad to me. Let me take on out and put it on the rec-ord. Player.
{He puts it on a record player. You hear alot of jazzy saxaphones going "DA dadadadda da-DA!"}
GLIDER FLYER:Hangin' in the sky, is great, girl, but I don't want no trouble...flyin' my blimp all the way from fantastic to rubble...it's the 20's, baby. And we got time. It's the 20's baby, and we don't need to spend a dime.
{Airstar takes it off.}
AIRSTAR:Yep. He was huge in the 1920's.
{Cut to an Airstar-lookin' guy with a bowler hat and trenchcoat on, smokin' a cigar, and he also has bushy eyebrows and a moustache. He's sitting on a LA-Z boy countin' money in his blimp. The scene is black and white.}
GLIDER FLYER:Wow, this money counts up to alot. Alot, I say. Ha ha! This is gonna be a great decade.
AIRSTAR:{Narrarating} He released his first song, "It's the 20's baby" in 1921, at the age of 26. He was an international star with a blimp that beat all others. He had a pet, The Snoot.
{A Sneak-like guy crawls in. The difference is that has a hat and jacket, and a green color, even though you can't tell.}
THE SNOOT:{Moves his nose.} We're gonna be stars!
GLIDER:That's true, Snoot.
AIRSTAR:Then, in 1925, he came out with, "Hollerin' on 81st Street".
{Cut to Glider and The Snoot in a recording studio with some guys with horns and trumpets and drums.}
GLIDER:Hollerin'!
THE SNOOT:Hollerin'!
{Trumpets play, "da da DA!"}
BOTH:HOOOOOLERIN' ON 81ST STREET!
{"DO da DO da DO DO DO DO DO DO" plays over and over again.}
GLIDER;I see you walkin' down.
THE SNOOT:And I don't want to see when you frown.
AIRSTAR:By 1928, he had 12 million dollars, and a luxurious blimp. But then, on October 24, 1929. Tragedy struck in New York.
{Cut to Glider and The Snoot in the Old-Timey Streets if New York. He's trying to move through a crowd of people wit hats on. They bump into a 20-year old The Homestar Runner.}
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER:You know, feller. The Stock Market might crash, so...this is a bad day to be here.
GLIDER:That's a mighty nice voice you have, Stranger. I'd like you to be in my Occapella band, "The Gloot".
THE HOMESTAR RUNNER:Sounds good, feller.
AIRSTAR:Then, five days later...it crashed.
{Cut to five days later. Zoom out to see a buncha people in hats in the streets outside the New York Stock Exchange.}
SOME GUY IN CROWD:IT CRASHED!
{Everyone starts screaming.}
AIRSTAR:So then, The Great Depression came and, Glider lost nine of his 12 million dollars. So he had just 3 million. But he teamed up with The Homestar Runner to make classics like, "Downhome Suprise" and "Geppy Fish". But then, in 1933, this happened.
{Cut to Glider and THR in his blimp fighting.}
THR:I want washboard in the song!
GLIDER:No way!
THR:Then I quit this alive-end job.
{He walks away.}
AIRSTAR:After that, his "Golden age" ended. But then came the "Silver Age". Who could not forget these okay medicores: "Johhny Sang" and "Medio-ledio" and of course, uhh...I forgot the name, but whatever. By 1936, he was having financial problems.
{Cut to Glider in the Old Timey field talking to Sir Strong Bad with a gun drawn.}
SIR STRONG BAD:You, carpetbagger! You hand over your protection money or else!
GLIDER:But that's more than I have!
AIRSTAR:Luckily, my grandfather Airbird Inventor, sav-ed him.
{A blimp with a Cigarettes ad on it lands, and Airbird gets out with The Snuck.}
AIRBIRD:Leave him alone, Sir Strong. He can't have you bring him down. Boot! {Airbird kicks Sir Strong Bad out of the scene.}
SIR STRONG BAD:{Offscreen.}YOUR FOOT IS TO Strooong...
GLIDER:Thanks. I'm having some financial trouble. My songs aren't selling, so I now i'm not a Upper Upper class person. I'm only an upper middle class person.
AIRBIRD:Well, the depression affects us all. I for one live in a cheap blimp. And the only way I afford that is with this cigarette adver-tisement.
{He takes out a cigarette and light it up.}
AIRBIRD:Remember kids, Bub Cigarettes are swell!
SINGERS:{Offscreen.} BUB CIGARETTES ARE SWELL, SO BUY THEM FOR YOUR MOM OR SMOKE IF SHE CAN'T TELL!
GLIDER:That's great.
{The Fort Wayne Locomotive comes in.}
FORT WAYNE LOCOMOTIVE:Oh! Look, it's Glida! I'm your boiggest fan, si'! You gotta sign this here papa!
{He teakes out a peice of paper.}
GLIDER:{Pause.} No.
AIRSTAR:His career boosted up again when he started campaigning for Roosevelt in 1940.
{Cut to him sitting on a chair on a stage with "Roosevelt 40'" behind him with a buncha people in the audience. He has aomw jazz musicians behind him.}
GLIDER:Roosevelt in 40', he got us through the deppression, Roosevelt in 40', he will not join World War II, Roosevelt in 40' he'll get us through this reccession, Roosevelt in 40', he'll be elected i'm guessin'.
{Fat Dudley raises his hand.}
GLIDER:Yes, Fat Duds?
FAT DUDLEY:Hudda pa town butta pow dutta?
GLIDER:Alcahol is already legal again, Fatt Duds.
FAT DUDLEY:Woo! {He speeds away.}
THR:Oh, that Fat Dudley.
{Everyone start laughing. Cut to Airstar still in his room.}
AIRSTAR:Ahh...what a guy. Anyway, he made several more songs like, "Peral Harbor" and "Galleyway to Train station" and "Roosevelt in 44'" until his career ended in 1947, when he was run over by a train.
{Cut to him on train tracks.}
GLIDER:Hi.
{He gets run over by a train. Cut back to Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:So as you can see, Glider was the best musician of the 20's, 30's and 40's.
{Homestar comes in.}
HOMESTAR:But was he the best athlete?
AIRSTAR:How'd you get in here?
HOMESTAR:Because my granpa, The Homestar Runner, was the best athlete of the 30's and 40's and some of the 50's.
AIRSTAR:Homestar, do you even know what you're talking about?
HOMESTAR:Nope. Bubs just told me to say this to embarass you.
AIRSTAR:Rggh...
{Cut to Airstar at the The Skypy.}
AIRSTAR:So yeah, nobody. I have alot of old, disgusting records. I didn't beat around the bush this week. Nows, I gotta go check on The Skypy.
{He leaves. The paper comes down.}
