Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Missing
From Umcom
{We start with Schoolstar getting up in the morning.}
SCHOOLSTAR:{Yawn.} Ma-an, today's gonna be a depressing day, just like everyday for me. But it's going to be slightly more depressing, because I have to look for my possibly dead friend Airstar.
{The Chuck comes in.}
THE CHUCK:But, first...email!
SCHOOLSTAR:Yes!
{Cut to Schoolstar in the computer room. He sits down at the computer and clicks on the email icon.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Airstar emails, Schoolstar style!
Hello.
Look, I'm sorry about what happened to Airstar. But, I think I know someone who can help him. Her name's dot.
Zorax
SCHOOLSTAR:Dot, eh? Sounds like a nice gal. Where do I meet this, Dot?
{Zoom out. Schoolstar turns around to The Chuck who is on The Skytop.}
THE CHUCK:Wikipedia says that Dot is an undercover agent who worked for King Cosmo, King William, King Cosmo Sr, King Ronald, King Jimmy, King Gerald and King Richard. It goes on to say that he is located in a dark parking lot at North Garden Ridges Hills Mall.
SCHOOLSTAR:Got it! Let's go.
{Cut to a dark parking lot that Schoolstar and The Chuck are walking through. They stop at one of the concrete pillars when Bubs in a trenchcoat comes out.}
BUBS:Hey Stro-oh, it's you, Schoolstar.
SCHOOLSTAR:Yeah. Where's Dot?
BUBS:Dot? She's behind that pillar.
{They walk ten feet to another pillar where Dot comes out with a trenchcoat on.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Dot, we need your help.
DOT:Okay. We are the only three that know Airstar is alive. I have valuable information from a man who wished to remain annonymous.
{Cut to a dark sillouhette of a Homestar-Looking guy with a hardhat on. At the bottom of the screen it says "This man's voice has been digitally altered.}
ANNONYMOUS PERSON:{Very deep voice.} Uhh...Airstar was kidnapped at the scene of the house explosion by a group of people in brown robes. I could see "LO" on their robes but I couldn't see the rest of the letters. But he was alive, but severely, uhh....out of it.
{Cut back to Schoolstar, The Chuck and Dot in the dark parking lot.}
DOT:So, he was kidnapped. Do you have any idea what "LO" means?
SCHOOLSTAR:Well, several of Airstar's relatives were kidnapped by an organization run by Darknight Creeper, but I don't know what the name of it is, but I know where their secret HQ is. We should check there. I mean, they also have Oxy and Planesar and Grampa Flyer and Stacy. They're evil.
DOT:Alright. Let us go!
{They start walking to the left. Cut to inside the old Superdude Mafia HQ, near the manhole.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Look at this old newspaper.
{He holds up an edition of the "Local NewsPapes" dated "May 4, 2008" that has the headline "MYANMAR CYLCONE KILLS THOUSANDS!"}
THE CHUCK:There is alot of ancient May 2008 stuff here. Anyway, let's go down this manhole.
{They open the manhole and slide down into the LOAH HQ.}
DARKNIGHT:Oh, hello.
{Cut to Brett Favre sitting on one of the chairs.}
BRETT FAVRE:After 15 seasons it's time for me to say, hello.
{Cut to MikeControl at his computer in the writing room with Homsar44withpie looking at his screen.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Really? A celebrity/commercial joke? Geez....
MIKECONTROL:Shut up. At least i'm not drunk like when Liam Redbeard wrote that part of email 68.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Whatever, man. I'm going to the hair brading store. AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING! ENOUGH WITH THE HAIR BRAIDER JOKES! AGAHAHAGAHAG-
{Cut back to the LOAH HQ.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Listen up, Darknight. Where's Airstar?
DARKNIGHT:Airstar? Don't you know?
STRONG BAD:Yeah, I mean you guys know him and stuff.
SCHOOLSTAR:But an annonymous source tolds us that you guys kidnapped him!
DARKNIGHT:CRAP!
SCHOOLSTAR:HA! That annony told us that somebody kidnapped him, not you! You just admitted it!
DARKNIGHT:Oh, I hate those.
BUBS:It doesn't matter anyway, you can't get to Airstar and the others.
GITMO:Yeah, you're in bad company!
EVIL HOMESTAR:We hold all the cards here.
BRETT FAVRE:After 15 seasons it's time for me to say-
{Garbachov shoots him down with a shotgun.}
GARBACHOV:HE'S DONE FOR!!!42132!43@!@#1#2!2112!3!!!!!!!^&^&^*!!!!
THE CHUCK:You have to let us see him! Or we'll....call the police!
DARKNIGHT:Good thing we can kick you guys out and move to a location that you cannot find. GUARDS!
{Two really strong guards come up to them.}
GUARD 1:Uhh...if you don't mind, could you....leave? Please?
GUARD 2:Please?
SCHOOLSTAR:Anything for you adorable little guards.
{Cut to Schoolstar and the other two outside the manhole.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Not sure why I did that.
{Underneath you can hear the HQ moving quickly.}
THE CHUCK:There it goes. How can we find it's new location?
DOT:Or do we have to get the 2 million dollars?
SCHOOLSTAR:Gentlemen, I have an idea.
{Cut to LOAH HQ.}
DARKNIGHT:Okay guys, I think we need to move Airstar to a more secret location now.
EVIL 1-UP:Why? They don't know where out HQ is now.
DARKNIGHT:I know, but that Dot can find things like that. {Snap}
BUBS:Where do you suggest?
HU JIANTO:China?
STRONG BAD:Strong Mad?
SUPERSTAR HOOPSTER:My house?
EVIL 1-UP:A plane?
TAKS TEST:A public school restroom?
EVIL GHOST:Hell?
DARKNIGHT:None of those. The place we'll keep him, is-
{Cut to Schoolstar in Airstar's room with a suitcase and a silver banjo. The Chuck and Dot are standing nearby.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Don't worry, guys. This plan is fullproof.
THE CHUCK:What's with the silver banjo?
SCHOOLSTAR:Well, my plan originally involved this, but I threw it out. It's amazing though. Not only does it have amazing sound, but it can get through anything.
{Cut to Schoolstar making a call in the computer room.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Doo doo dooo...uh, yes, hello? Yeah, Darknight. We managed to get the money. It's a long story on how we did it. Anyway, where's your base? Someone will take me there? Uhh...who exac-
{Men in brown robes pop up from behind and put them in bags. Cut to the LOAH HQ.}
DARKNIGHT:Remember, guys. When he hands us the suitcase full of money, we give him his relatives back and then we shoot them all dead.
SUPERDUDE:Got it.
{The brown robed guys come in with the bags and dump tha bags onto the floor. Schoolstar, The Chuck and Dot crawl outta the bags.}
DOT:Oh, god. That was painful.
DARKNIGHT:SILENCE! Gimme da money, dawg.
SCHOOLSTAR:Here's your money.
{He hands him the suitcase.}
DARKNIGHT:Thank you! Now, here's your relatives.
{Two guards bring out Planesar, Grampa Flyer, Oxy and Stacy.}
SCHOOLSTAR:What about Airstar?
DARKNIGHT:He's in a different location. And he will be for a while.
SCHOOLSTAR:What, are you gonna kill him?!
DARKNIGHT:No, just...torture him for awhile, then kill him. See ya.
{They start to leave, but LOAH starts firing bullets at them. Schoolstar deflects them with his silver banjo and breaks the hatch with the banjo and walks up it. They get to outside the manhole. Guards are sent to get them, and Schoolstar holds his foot down on the manhole while guards fight to get up there.}
DOT:Aren't they gonna know there's not money in there?
SCHOOLSTAR:Yes, but they won't have enough time to respond.
{Cut to Darknight opening the suitcase.}
DARKNIGHT:Is there even money in here? No! There isn't! Instead, there's some kinda bowling ball with a candle stickin' out of it. Wait-
{LOAH HQ explodes. Cut to Schoolstar and The Chuck and Dot in the kitchen celebrating with wine.}
SCHOOLSTAR:What an accomplishment. All of those LOAHS are going to jail.
THE CHUCK:The bad news is we still don't know where Airstar is, but at least we know that nobody's going to try and kill him.
{Cut to Airstar sitting on a chair in a small, dimly lite room. He is sweating, and doesn't look too good. Also, his hsirt is ripped a little.}
AIRSTAR:Ugghhh....
{Cut to Schoolstar awake in bed.}
SCHOOLSTAR:{Sigh}
{The paper comes down.}
