Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/King Dingo
From Umcom
SUNDAY, JULY 22, 2007
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2009
{Airstar clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:The email has no limit, I could go to 100 emails, or at least 30.
Dear Airstar, What would everything be like if you were elected the next King of Town? From, DonutHead41
AIRSTAR:I dunno, DonutFace, the entire town would probably be launched into space and i'd be a big dome in space! My castle will be kick awesome. And the 2008 Kingular elections are comin' up. Hmmm...Maybe I should run. There's a real problem right now.{In an Australian accent} A dingo ate Marzipan's baby! {Back to regular accent.} So, I guess i'll run down to the elections and tottaly start my campaign!
{Airstar turns around and runs to Schoolstar's room's door. He knocks on it. Schoolstar comes out.}
SCHOOLSTAR:What do you want? I'm trying to cry, here!
AIRSTAR:I need to say four words that I never thought that i'd ever utter to you.
{The Chuck walks in.}
AIRSTAR:Get outta here!
{He leaves.}
AIRSTAR:Um, I need your help?
SCHOOLSTAR:With what?
AIRSTAR:I'm running for king. I need your help with the campaign.
SCHOOLSTAR:Fine. Am I getting paid?
AIRSTAR:No.
{Cut to a stage with two podiums on it. Airstar is at the left podium, and the king is on the right. There's an audience.}
KOT:You may ask questions now.
REPORTER:What are you going to do about {Australian accent} Marzipan's baby?
KOT:If we find {Australian accent} Marzipan's baby, {Regular accent} we embolden the enemy.
REPORTER:And the enemy is...
KOT:The Far off lands terrorists!
AUDIENCE:{Gasp}
REPORTER:Mr.Flyer, what are you going to do about the War in Far off lands?
AIRSTAR:I plan to pull most of our troops out by January 2009, as it is obvious that they won't, so i'm gonna have to wait ti'll i'm elected.
{Half of the audience claps. The other half boos.}
REPORTER:King of town, what about the issue of same colored Cheat marriage?
KOT:God says it's wrong!
HALF OF AUDIENCE:BOO!
OTHER HALF OF AUDEINCE:YAY!
REPORTER:What do you think Mr.Flyer?
AIRSTAR:I don't see any thing wrong with it.
HALF OF AUDIENCE:YAAAAAAAYY!
OTHER HALF OF AUDIENCE:BOOOO!
{Cut to Airstar meeting with Bobe Dole,Al gore and John Kerry.}
AIRSTAR:So now i'm running for king! I'll make taxes, cut taxes,be a hypocrite, and except bribes, it'll be great!
AL GORE:It's not as easy as it looks. You have to campaign in {He pulls down a map of FCUSA with red dots on particular cities in there state.} a buncha places. The red dots represent the places you need to campaign.
AIRSTAR:Why should I be listening to you? You lost the 2000 election.
AL GORE:Or did I?
AIRSTAR:Yes. You did.
JOHN KERRY:Maybe you should try to joke about stuff. That humanizes you.
AIRSTAR:Not for you.
JOHN KERRY:Well, yeah.
BOB DOLE:Bob Dole likes chips. Bob Dole eats chips. Bobe Dole.
AIRSTAR:Airstar Flyer gets advice from winning candidates. See ya losers.
{Airstar walks away. Cut to Airstar's first time seen living room, a year and 2 months later. He is watching TV with Schoolstar and The Chuck.}
HOMESTAR ON TV:Hi, i'm Homestar Runner for Channel four news! The results for the 2008 Kingular election awe almost in. Whoevew wins all of the Florida town district in downtown FCUSA wins!
AIRSTAR:I gotta win the Florida district! I like cubans! Right Antonio?
{The camera pans to the left. A cuban guy is sitting next to Airstar.}
ANTONIO:{Cuban accent.} Yes sir-a! Time to smoke a cigar-a!
{Antonio takes out a cigar and lights it.}
AIRSTAR:Thanks cuban stereotype! Now to see who won!
HOMESTAR ON TV:The results are in, and AIRSTAR FLYER WINS!
{Everybody in the room starts cheering wildly. Cut to the castle's throne room. Airstar is sitting on the throne with Schoolstar as a servant. The Chuck is sitting on the vice king's smaller throne right next to Airstar's throne.}
AIRSTAR:This is teh sweet. I get to make decisons. And it all started with an email from...some...guy. Named...let's just say Ron. Thanks Ron! My first decision is to make Marzipan the president of the FCUSAEPA. Because she's such a dirty hippie. Set up a meeting with the HIA, and make meatballs sing Limozeen songs. Get on all that, FCUSA senate!
{Pan to the right. The Knight was writing all that down on a parchment.}
THE KNIGHT:Anything else, sir?
AIRSTAR:Yeah, execute Toby Keith.
{The Knight writes that down.}
THE KNIGHT:9.17, pull over to the next window.
AIRSTAR:JUST GO!
THE KNIGHT:Okay!
{The Knight runs off. cut to September 2009. FCUSA is in a dome in space, orbiting the Earth. Cut to Strong Bad at Bubs's Space Conncession stand. The background is glass with stars behind it instead of bushes.}
STRONG BAD:Bubs, i'd like an Airstar burger, with extra Chuck fries, and a Skyshake.
BUBS:Were all out of food. You know how expensive it is to ship food from Earth to thise dome? Very. More than 50 years of you're yearly pay!
STRONG BAD:But i'm starvin'! I ate Strong Sad's left leg, but that was this morning! I'm hungry!
BUBS:Maybe this dome isn't gonna work.
STRONG BAD:Yeah, maybe it isn't, or is it?
BUBS:No. Maybe we should petition the town and take it to the Flyer administration.
STRONG BAD:Yeah, maybe. Now give me a jetpack so I can get outta here.
BUBS:Okay! {Bubs hands Strong Bad a jetpack. He puts it on and flies off. Cut to the sky. Strong Bad is flying, and then he runs into Homestar's jetpack. They both start falling.}
BOTH:AAAAAAHHHHH!
{Cut to Airstar in a crown and robe walking on the feild.}
AIRSTAR:Wow. What an awexome day. FCUSA loves me!
PROTESTERS:{Offscreen} FCUSA HATES YOU! FCUSA HATES YOU! FCUSA HATES YOU! FCUSA HATES YOU! FCUSA HATES YOU!
AIRSTAR:What the pfargtl?
{Cut to Homestar,Bubs,Darknight Creeper,Airbird Inventor,Airjet Booster,Superstar Hoopster,Airstar's version of Trogdor,puppets,Kids,Strong Bad,little Airstar,little The Chuck,Oxygenstar,Breathstar,ninjas,1-Up's evil version,Homestar evil version,The Goat Rambler,Clone-up,107-Up,two white and red astromunds,Homsar evil version,The Homestar Runner evil version,Anderson Cooper,some guy,a cow,Waldo,A cashier,The Chav, Shortstar Runner,Darktower,The Cheat,The Chav,MikeControl,Homsar,Trevor,Stinkoman,1-Up,Agent,Super Sam,The Announcer,Mustachio Homestar,Dick Cheney,Coach Z,Dr.T-doggin,Atari Homestar,Cheerleader,assorted time period Airstars,Homsar44withpie,Taks test,Water Bad,Bill,Japanese guy,Joel,Birds,Conway Twitty, Dr.C-doggin,Dr.House,Dr.Demento,Dr.Hibbert,Dr.Hartfeild,Birdman,guy on walkie talkie,grampa Flyer,Jon Stewart,narrarator,Monk 1,Monk 2,Monk 3,Monk 4,FCUSA army,Toad,Goombas,Korean gangster,Luigi,Yoshi,Watteson Kurinashu Todayton Zubamabe Jonessers Grephidus Nackella Jr. the 193,394th,Mr.Gumballdassu,Edgar's sister,Chuckball,Trainstar Squigblast,Stinkoman,ET,buncha aliens,Mexistar,John Kerry,Bobe Dole,Al Gore,Antonio,The Knight,Two reporters,and the KOT protesting.Cut back to Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:AGGGHHH! THAT'S ALOT OF PEOPLE!!
{The Chuck and Schoolstar come out}
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh my god! People must really like you!
AIRSTAR:No, stupid! They're gonna kill me!
ANGRY MOB:WE WANT AIRSTAR! WE WANT AIRSTAR!
AIRSTAR:PEOPLE!!
{The mob stops chanting and stops in their tracks.}
AIRSTAR:WHY DO YOU HATE ME!?
KOREAN GANGSTER:{Thick Korean accent}Cause' we're starvin' here in the dome without the money to transport food here!!
MEXISTAR:{Mexican accent} I haven't eaten in weeks.
STRONG BAD:And Koreans and Mexicans are stealing our jobs!
KOREAN GANGSTER:Oh, shut up!
ANGRY MOB:WE WANT TO BRING FCUSA BACK TO EARTH!
AIRSTAR:Okay okay! I'll do it. The Chuck!
THE CHUCK:Meh?
AIRSTAR:Press the button.
THE CHUCK:Meh meh!
{The Chuck presses a button and everything start rumbling. Cut to the outside of the dome. It's swirling towards America, to what seems to be beetween Texas and Florida. It alnds in FCUSA. Cut to FCUSA. The dome landed sideways, and the glass is shattered. Cut to Airstar and a short guy with no eyes, a construction cap and a green, sweaty shirt in a demolisher trying to hit the dome back to place. The wrecking ball hits the dome and it becomes regular ways. Cut to the feild covered in glass. Airstar and the construction worker walk on screen. Then The Chuck and Schoolstar come to.}
AIRSTAR:Thank God for that conveiniently placed wrecking ball truck. Thanks no eyes Bobby!
NO EYES BOBBY:No prob, Justin!
AIRSTAR:Who do you think you're talking too?
NO EYES BOBBY:Justin Timberlake!
AIRSTAR:You're blind. Get outta here!
{No eyes Bobby walks away.}
THE CHUCK:Well everything's back to normal!
AIRSTAR:Yep! Well I guess that answers you're 2 year old question DonutHead! Remember, the season 4 finale is next email!
{The director whispers into Airstar's ears.}
AIRSTAR:Oh. This was the season 4 finale! Well tune in next time for the season 5 premeire! Bye!
{The paper comes down}
