Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Cliffhangers
From Umcom
{Airstar clicks on the email icon on his Skypy.}
AIRSTAR:Oh when you need to roll, roll with email!
Mr.Flyer,We have noticed that one of your e-mails is not complete. If it is not completed soon, we will freeze you and drop you in Antartica, were you will be thawed in, oh say, 20XXX6.
PS: By soon we mean Thursday
AIRSTAR:One of my emails? More like...all of my emails. You probably want to know what happens what the papers comes down, don't you? Well, we have a machine that shows us what happens when the cameras go off.
SCHOOLSTAR'S VOICE:But,
{Airstar turns around. Wide shot with Schoolstar at the side.}
SCHOOLSTAR:How did you afford that machine?
AIRSTAR:Your life insurance paid off. I'm loaded!
SCHOOLSTAR:But, I came back to life in email 32.
AIRSTAR:As far as the life insurance companies know, you're dead.
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh. That's how I feel inside sometimes.
AIRSTAR:Then I guess we could have dead inside insurance policy to, huh? Heh heh heh heh.
{Schoolstar stares at him.}
AIRSTAR:Oh, come on! That was funny! Roll the tape.
{Cut to a black screen that says "Email 1:Outfit cliffhanger"Cut to the computer room.}
AIRSTAR FLYER: {typing} The Chuck is awesome. He's so cute! Awww.
{Airstar's paper comes down. It says, "Click here to email airstar@blimpflyer.not" Airstar gets up and goes to Schoolstar.}
AIRSTAR:So, I completed my first email in this show! Aren't you proud?
SCHOOLSTAR:Yeah, but why is The Chuck in the feild?
AIRSTAR:I don't know. That is weird.
{Cut to The Chuck walking in the feild. He goes up to Bubs' stand.}
BUBS:Hey The Chuck!
THE CHUCK:Hey!
BUBS:Tell Airstar he's awesome. UNLESS HE STEALS AN ENGINE FROM MY STAND! Which I bet will never happen. No seriously. I bet you fifty bucks.
THE CHUCK:Deal!
{They shake "hands".}
STRONG SAD:{Offscreen} WITNESS!
{Cut to Airstar,The Chuck and Schoolstar in the feild. They march to SB'S front door and knock on it. SB answers the door.}
SB:Who are you losers?
AIRSTAR:Nevermind that. The Chuck! Salami.
THE CHUCK:Here you go. {He hands Airstar a piece of salami.}
{Airstar starts slapping SB with salami.}
{The paper comes down}
STRONG BAD:Okay, THAT'S IT!
{Strong Bad takes the salami and starts slapping Airstar with it. Then Airstar tackles Strong Bad into the house. A cracking noise is heard.}
STRONG BAD:AHHH! YOU BROKE MY ARM! AGGHHH!
{Bubs walks up to The Chuck with a roll of money.}
BUBS:I can't believe I lost. Here's you're freaking money.
{He hands The Chuck the money.}
THE CHUCK:Meh meh meh!
STRONG BAD:WITNESS! AGGHHHGGHH!!!!!!
{Cut to Schoolstar and Airstar in the computer room in modern times.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Why did he yell "witness?"
AIRSTAR:Why did the boy cry "wolf?" Heh heh heh.
{Schoolstar stares at him.}
AIRSTAR:Glod dannit!
{The Kodak Easyshare ad rolls up to him.}
AIRSTAR:Go away, Easyshare ad. Nobody likes you!
{He rolls away.}
AIRSTAR:What an idiot. Roll the tape, PLEASE.
{We cut to Stinkoman in the 20X6 feild.}
STINKOMAN:Coming July 21st 2006! In your time that is...
{1-Up comes onscreen}
I-UP:Buy it tommorow! Er,today! And eat pudding! No,buy it yesterday! No....BUY IT SOMETIME OK?!
STINKOMAN:Ok....
VOICE:Jlammy experience 2...may cause seizures...and stuff.
HOMSAR'S VOICE:AaAaAaA! I-
VOICE:Yeah, shut up.
{The commercial ends and the paper comes down. Then cut to Airstar and Darktower watching the thing end in there plane.}
AIRSTAR:Man, that was a weird ending to a weird email. Wait, these emails are watchable?!
DARKTOWER:So we probably have to fight those Cheats.
AIRSTAR:No Playstation 2?
DARKTOWER:NOO!
{Gunhaver and Crackotage jump in. The other two get up and pull out lasers. Then the Cheats do.}
GUNHAVER:Freeze, scum! We're filming our Jlammyday special! So no hilarious or even humorous buisness allowed, a'ight?
CRACKOTAGE:We'll break your skull, and then pop a mole! Heh heh hwa hwaaaaaaa!!!
GUNHAVER:{Sigh.} NOW FOR PAIN!
{Airstar kicks both of them off the plane.}
GUNHAVER:{Offscreen} HOLY CRAAAaaaaaaaaapuh!
{Cut to Airstar at his computer.}
AIRSTAR:But I guess i'll just keep workin' for Jon Stewart until later.
{A ringtone of the "Up, Up, and away" plays. Airstar picks up the phone.}
AIRSTAR:Hello?
JON STEWART:DID YOU SELL THE FREAKIN' T-SHIRTS?!
AIRSTAR;Yes, yes.
JON STEWART:YOU BETTER HAVE! MORO-
{Airstar hangs up.}
AIRSTAR:Okay, bye everybloody!
{The paper comes down. He gets up and goes to the right to see The Chuck. The Kodak Easyshare ad comes up again.}
AIRSTAR:IF YOU COME BACK AGAIN, I WILL EAT YOU!
{It leaves.}
THE CHUCK:What up you're fruithole?
AIRSTAR:Fruithole?
THE CHUCK:Butt.
AIRSTAR:Oooh. Anyway, it's Jon Stewart. I haven't really sold the t-shirts. I need to do that by seven, sharp.
THE CHUCK:Hmm...I wonder how we'd do that...
BOTH OF THEM:BUBS!
{Cut to Airstar with a seacaptain's outfit on, and The Chuck dressed as a petty officer at Bubs' stand.}
AIRSTAR:Hello, i'm Captain Orville Townsend, and I need to sell these t-shirts to your stand so you can sell them and make money. But we will also require money.
BUBS:Who's the portly island boy?
AIRSTAR:Oh, he's petty Officer Sam Lols.
BUBS:Let me see the shirts, Citymail!
AIRSTAR:Townsend.
BUBS:Same difference!
{He holds up "Daily Show" shirts.}
BUBS:Daily Show? Wait, doesn't Airstar work for The Daily Show?
{He starts sweating.}
AIRSTAR:Who's Airstar? I'm sure he's as handsome as the day is bright. Is he worshipped as a god?
{Close up on Airstar mouth.}
AIRSTAR:I think he should be. HE SOUNDS LIKE A WONDEFUL MAN! WONDEFUL, WONDEFUL MAN! EGH-what the fruit?
{Zoom out. He's in a livesaver in the middle of the ocean.}
AIRSTAR:How the heck did he get me here so fast?
{A whale blasts out of the water.}
AIRSTAR:Oh, shaq.
{The whale Sends Airstar flying. Cut to a different shot of the ocean. He lands in it backwards and then corrects the landing. A cruise ship comes by. Bubs is on the deck.}
BUBS:You pretend to be a captain, you live like a captain! And don't steal my engines!
AIRSTAR:I'M SORRY! NOOO!!!
{Cut to Schoolstar and Airstar in modern times.}
SCHOOLSTAR:That-
{The Kodak Easyshare ad comes back.}
AIRSTAR:I WILL EAT YOU!
{He tries to bite it, but it runs away.}
AIRSTAR:Stupid thing. Anyway, continue?
SCHOOLSTAR:That must've been scary for you.
AIRSTAR:Yeah, I guess Airstar Flyer, became Airstar Flying! Get it?
{Schoolstar stares at him.}
AIRSTAR:I AM FUNNY, DANNIT! ROLL IT!!
{Cut to a plane landing at KleenexTm Incorparated. Strong Bad, Airstar and Homestar walk into the headquarters. They see tissue boxes everywhere. The entire building looks like a tissue box. They start walking down a long hallway. Lights come on as they walk under them. At the end of the hallway they see a guy in a brown suit at a computer. They walk up to him.}
AIRSTAR:Sir?
{The guy turns around.}
MAN:AH! You scared me.
AIRSTAR:Hey. Who are you and where's the boss?
MAN:I am the boss. I'm the only man in the world working for Kleenex. Name's John Kleenex the 4th.
AIRSTAR:How do you make tissues and tissue boxes at this computer?
JOHN KLEENEX:I print out tissues, and this machine makes the boxes. I pour them all into a garage, and the Canadian army ships them around the world. It's all me!
AIRSTAR:Doesn't the Canadian army work for you?
JOHN KLEENEX:No. They just doing they're jobs. I even make the commercials! The other people you see on Kleenex commercials? They're robots built by me. Now what do you want?
AIRSTAR:I want...um...I forgot. Have a nice day, sir!
{Cut back to the Skypy.}
AIRSTAR:What a day, Grabby. I don't remember why I went to Canada. See ya!
{The paper comes down and Airstar gets up and walks to the left to see The Chuck.}
THE CHUCK:Why didn't you take me to Canada? Meh!
AIRSTAR:Well, I kinda went their by impulse of Irish song.
THE CHUCK:"Irish Song" is the name of my new cologne!
{He holds up a green bottle. Close up. It says "Irish Song" and beneath that it says "Cologne for Leperchauns" and in small writing underneath it says "WARNIN'-THIS MAY 'AVE SOME LUCKY CHARMS IN IT!" Zoom out.}
AIRSTAR:But it says it's for leperchauns.
THE CHUCK:Well, i'm part leperchaun.
{He takes out fake long ears and puts them on. Then the Kodak Easyshare thing comes back.}
THE CHUCK:{Irish accent}Top o' the mornin' to ya, 'odak EasyShare ad! Nice to meet ya!
AIRSTAR:Goodbye of the leave, Kodak Easyshare ad.
{The ad puts on a green hat with clovers and wiggles away.}
THE CHUCK:{Regular accent}Meh! He reminded me!
{The Chuck puts on a green hat with a clover too. He starts walking away.}
THE CHUCK:{Irish accent}Lucky charms,green clovers,lot of alchahol...
{He leaves the room.}
AIRSTAR:That's why he didn't come to Canada with me. I don't even remember why I came there. Those irish punks Charlie and Craig Reid drove me into it!
{Charlie comes in and punches Airstar in the face.}
CHARLIE:FOR THE LAST TIME! I'M SCOTTISH!
AIRSTAR:Aghh...you never told me that...
CHARLIE:Oh. Sorry.
{He helps Airstar up.}
AIRSTAR:Thanks.
{Craig comes in and punches him in the face.}
CHARLIE:Dude! We never told him before!
CRAIG:Oh. Crap.
{They both help him up.}
AIRSTAR:Thanks, NOW GET THE HECK OUT!
{They run away.}
AIRSTAR:Jeez...
{Strong Bad comes in.}
AIRSTAR:How'd you get in here?
STRONG BAD:Well...
{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat are standing in the feild with the blimp above them.}
STRONG BAD:How we gonna get up there?
THE CHEAT:Meh mhelm.
{The Kodak Easyshare ad comes up and lifts thm to the blimp.}
STRONG BAD:Wow! Thanks Kodak ad!
{Cut back to previous scene.}
STRONG BAD:That's how we got up.
AIRSTAR:So he is useful...
STRONG BAD:Yeah. I even almost replaced my "Byrne/Imam 08" bumper sticker,
{He holds up a "Byrne/Imam 08" bumper sticker.}
STRONG BAD:With a "Kodak Easyshare/Update Hello! 08" bumper sticker.
{He holds up the bumper sticker.}
AIRSTAR:Great. Anyway, what do you want?
STRONG BAD:Remember us meeting in Canada?
AIRSTAR:Yes.
STRONG BAD:Well I heard that you forgot why you went there. Let me tell you why you went there...
{"Up,Up, and away" plays. Airstar picks up his cellphone.}
AIRSTAR:Hello? Sure i'd love to paint you're lockers, Coach!
{Cut to Airstar painting the lockers orange.}
AIRSTAR:Why orange?
COACH Z:For horloween!
AIRSTAR:It's August.
COACH Z:Well, what other halliday am I supposed to get ready for? Haunakuh?
AIRSTAR:I think Haunakah was in June this year.
{Coach Z pulls out skelotons.}
COACH Z:Put dese some'here!
AIRSTAR:Those are nice. Where'd you buy those?
COACH Z:Yeah. I bought them. We'll stick with that.
{Airstar eyes widden. Cut to the Eiffel Tower. Darknight is standing over Airstar as he hangs from a pole.}
DARKNIGHT:Time to end your life.
{He lifts up his foot, and then Darknight falls off the tower. You see Aquacheat behind him.}
AQUACHEAT:Meh!
AIRSTAR:Thanks Aquacheat!
{Cut to Airstar sitting on the couch in his blimp. Schoolstar and The Chuck are on the ground listening to him.}
AIRSTAR:And then I want to jail for a month and sixteen days for damaging the Eiffel tower. And now it's October 14th. I should check my email later.
SCHOOLSTAR:Great story. How was jail?
AIRSTAR:It was a french jail.
SCHOOLSTAR:Say no more.
{The paper comes down.}
SCHOOLSTAR:So, did you meet anybody there?
AIRSTAR:Yeah, this girl named Garbachov. She was really ugly. I just want to completely forget abut here. Time to clear my mind of her!
{Strong Bad comes onscreen and hits Airstar with a wrench. Airstar falls off the couch. The Kodak Easyshare thing comes up.}
STRONG BAD:Thanks for loanin' me the wrench, man.
THE CHUCK:You're a great guy, Kodak Easyshare ad.
SCHOOLSTAR:I WILL KILL YOU, AD!!
{Schoolstar tackles, but the ad rolls down and he misses.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Dangit!
THE CHUCK:Well I think you made him forget the Garbachov thing.
{He gets up.}
AIRSTAR:Oh, hello. Carl and Jane.
{He gets up and goes to the door.}
AIRSTAR:Time to get the groceries for our family.
{He walks outside and falls off the blimp. Cut to Airstar opening his eyes in the feild with all the main characters including Schoolstar,The Chuck and Homsar44withpie.}
BUBS:{Singing} Is he okay?
STRONG BAD:{Singing}Is he alright?
SCHOOLSTAR:{Singing} This has sturred up quite a fright...
BUBS:{Still singing until is say he stops singing.} The fright has been slight...but the condition can be serious day after night...
AIRSTAR:{Singing} Why are you singing? Why am I singing?
ALL:Are you okay? Are you alright? Are you okay?
{Cut to Airstar being wheeled into FCUSA hospital. Homestar comes up to his bed.}
HOMESTAR:Welcome, i'm doctor Runneeeer!
{Dr.C-Doggin comes up to the bed.}
DR.C-DOGGIN:{Singing} What can we do for you? I'll tell yoOOOOOu! Here, we know it all! WELCOME TO FCUSA HOS-PIT-AL!
{Background doctors and nurses stood up and sang that too.}
DR.C-DOGGIN:Our hospital is great and well cleaned, no flaws in sight!
{Coach Z in green scrubs comes up to the bed.}
COACH Z:Except at night, when the Kodak Easyshare ads fight...
{Two of those ads come up and start bumping against eachother. Dr.T-Doggin crushes the ads with his fist.}
DR.T-DOGGIN:But, the treatment has no end in sight, i'll be blight...if you have a broken leg, here in five minutes you'll be able to crawl!
ALL:WELCOME TO FCUSA HOS-PI-TAL!
{They start spinning the bed around.}
ALL:HOS-SPIT-AL!
{They stop the spinning. The KOT comes up to the bed.}
KOT:I'm King Of Medicine here, you have no need to feaaaaaaaar!! If you burnt you're leg real bad, we'll patch you up with a bandage, STAT!
{Strong Bad comes from behind the KOT.}
STRONG BAD:That's Dr.Caveat, master of it all...
ALL:WELCOME TO FCUSA HOS-PIT-AL!
{Cut to Airstar and Schoolstar in today times.}
SCHOOLSTAR:So, you had a head injury so bad you heard music?
AIRSTAR:Yep. It was like broadway. Dr.T-doggin had to do head surgery. They shaved my hair!
SCHOOLSTAR:You don't have hair.
AIRSTAR:Then what did they shave?
{A little bit of blood drips down from his cap.}
AIRSTAR:Talk about bloody mary. Heh heh...
{Schoolstar stares at him.}
AIRSTAR:I hate you.
{Garbachov comes in.}
GARBACHOV:WHADDA YOU TWO YAPPIN' ABOUT?????/;?)(*908&9*&y(*TG(786YT(8&t(*&t(*&t(*&T(*7NI1!!!!!!!1111322%!31//1/11/HSDJKGH???
AIRSTAR:Garby, what are you doing here?
GARBACHOV:I'M HERE TO COLLECT HALF OF YOUR MONEY1!!@@1#@!32!333!@35@%!%!23!1111!!!!
AIRSTAR:Was that in the divorce agreement?
GARBACHOV:Yes it was.
AIRSTAR:What?
GARBACHOV:YES IT WAS@!!#@1#@1#@!3!#@^$#^5$7^%8^568^8QPALZ?HytiU6TI867(*6(8^9*&67ihghghgkjhHJHGKJH!!!
AIRSTAR:Alright, alright. I have 110,000 dollars in the bank.
SCHOOLSTAR:YOU HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY?!
AIRSTAR:Yeah. I work as a Daily Show writer, remember?
SCHOOLSTAR:I thought they were on strike.
AIRSTAR:We are. I also got money from your life insurance.
SCHOOLSTAR:You guys are on strike, and that explains the cutbacks you've made...
{Cut to Airstar on the ground pouring salt into the engine, wearing a green shirt.}
AIRSTAR:Doo doo doo...
{Marzipan comes up to him.}
MARZIPAN:Good job, Airstar! You're using an alternative fuel source!
AIRSTAR:To save energy and also money!
{Airstar gets in the blimp. He starts flying, and then crashes.}
AIRSTAR:{Offscreen} THEY NEVER WORK!
{Cut back to today times.}
AIRSTAR:That was our thirteenth blimp.
GARBACHOV:HAND THE MONEY!32!342!432!3@1$@!41$3!4#!$#!4#@!$#@!32!$#@!#4
AIRSTAR:Fine! Here's a check...
{He pulls out a check from a check book and starts writing on it.}
AIRSTAR:Made out to Garbachov Eastin Lols, amount:55,000 dollars.
{He hands it to her.}
AIRSTAR:There. Choke on it.
GARBACHOV:I GET THE CHUCK THIS WEEKEND!!!!34@4#@14@1$!$4$$%!%!&7&&$$%%^%66&&*88989787*8!!!
AIRSTAR:Yeah, whatever. By everybody!
{Garbachov leaves. The paper comes down. Airstar gets up and runs into Coach Z.}
AIRSTAR:WAAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
COACH Z:Harngin' out with The Chork! Were gonna make him athlortic!
AIRSTAR:Oh, thanks. I guess...
{Cut to The Chuck running the track. H44WP is running after him.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:GIVE MY THAT HAIR BRAIDER! I'M RUNNING FOR VICE PRESIDENT YOU KNOW!!
THE CHUCK:COME AND GET IT! MEH!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:GIVE ME THE LOLIPOP TOO!
THE CHUCK:LOLIPOP? THAT'S SOMETHING WE HAVEN'T MENTIONED IN A WHILE, EVEN THOUGH I'M ALWAYS HOLDING IT!
{He throws the lolipop at Homsar44withpie. The end.}
