Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Battle
From Umcom
{Cut to Airstar and the rest of the people that were in the submarine with him last email (Please read if haven't already)Coming out of Amelia Airheart's plane. They take of their suits and walk onto the grass. Mrs.Contestholderson walk up to them.}
MRS.CONTESTHOLDERSON:You lost the contest!
AIRSTAR:Maybe so, but we have two artifacts that people have been looking for for years!
MRS.CONTESTHOLDERSON:Homeschool whiner?
AIRSTAR:No. Amelia Airheart's skeleton and plane!
MRS.CONTESTHOLDERSON:Remarkable!
AIRSTAR:Yep! And we're going to sell it at the 2008 Sell Off Auction! We'll have enough money to create tha armada, and even get a larger orchestra, so they can play over all the violence.
STRONG BAD:Wait, when is the sell off?
AIRSTAR:May 21st.
HOMESTAR:Alright! We'll wait...what, what day is it?
DARKTOWER:It's the 13th.
HOMESTAR:Oh.
{Cut to May 21st, and a large stage with a banner that says "2008 SELL OFF" with a large audience. Airstar goes up to the podium, dragging along the body and plane.}
AIRSTAR:Hello, everypeoples. What we are bidding here today is the plane and body of Amerlia Airheart!
{The audience gasps.}
AIRSTAR:We'll start at 10,000.
{Cut to Billy Stinkwater.}
BILLY STINKWATER:20,000!
AIRSTAR:20,00 from one of our writers!
ANDERSON COOPER:34,001!
AIRSTAR:34,001 from the CNN anchor!
ET:ET bids {Normal human voice} 67,000.
AIRSTAR:67,000 from ET, there.
{The scene fades to black, and this comes up: "One hour later"}
BLONDE GERMAN GUY:20 BILLION DOLLARS!
{Gasps throughout.}
AIRSTAR:Going once, going twice, sold to the German guy!
BLONDE GERMAN GUY:Yes!
{Cut to Airstar and Darktower,The Chuck,Schoolstar,Homestar,Bennedeto,Homsar,Strong Sad,Strong Bad,The King of town and his Pooper Troopers in the feild. They are all in lines, except Airstar who his standing iin front of them with a Black tupperware hat on, just like everyone else except the members of the Homestarmy.}
AIRSTAR:Okay, peoples. You are the Airstarmy. And we are going to occupy and invade this Mafia base like it's 1999! We need to stop these Mafian Killers.
{Oxygenstar and Breathstar walk up to Airstar.}
OXYGENSTAR:Oh my god! I heard about you on the news!
AIRSTAR:Hey dad! Hey mom!
BREATHSTAR:Why are you starting a war, Airyface?
AIRSTAR:Mom, I told you not to call me that.
OXYGENSTAR:I think he's doing it because I went into a brief war with the Superdude Mafia in the early 90's.
AIRSTAR:No, i'm doing it so I can get my blimp back, and Superdude's military is very strong. Besides, don't you remember 5-11? They stole my blimp on that day, and that day will never be forgotten!
BREATHSTAR:Well, don't let this distract you from your email show.
AIRSTAR:Oh! Thanks for reminding me! I'll get on the Skypy.
{He takes out the Skypy into the one of the Pooper Trooper's armor. Cut to email view.}
AIRSTAR:Email before war, that's no bore! {Sigh)
Dear Airstar,MAGIC BALLOOON!
Mario.
AIRSTAR:Huh?
{Cut to regular view. Mario comes in with a blue balloon.}
MARIO:Hello-a! I'm here-a with-a Magic Balloon!
AIRSTAR:Go on,
{Mario lowers eyelids.}
MARIO:-a.
AIRSTAR:{Laughs} Ahh..it's funny because it's racist. Anyway. what do you mean by magic balloon?
MARIO:Remember-a when you had to venture-a to the Mushroom Embassy in New Jersey-a to get you're red coin back from the United Nintendo Characters Council Of America, or UNCCA? -A?
AIRSTAR:Yeah.
MARIO:Well i'm from that Council, and as a way of saying, we're "sorry" that we took your red coin, we got you this magic balloon that can help you, even when things seem hopeless-a.
{Luigi, Yoshi, Link, Samus, Donkey Kong and the Korean Gangster from the email that Mario mentioned come in.}
LUIGI:We'll even help-a you-a in your fight-a!
LINK:...
SAMUS:What Link is trying to say is we have skills that are awesome. And the Korean Gangster? He's got some Korean skills goin' on! He can do Kung-Fu.
AIRSTAR:Great! You guys are in! So now to get the support of other militaries.
STRONG BAD:Well you've got the support of the Strong Badian missionaries, I mean Mercenaries.
{Cut to The Chuck on the Skypy.}
THE CHUCK:And we're getting a bunch of emails from military powers that vow to join the Airstarmy! We've got the Sams, The Joshes, part of the U.S. Military, The Portugese Military and the Salvation Army! ...Somehow.
AIRSTAR:Great!
DARKTOWER:This is more than great! This calls for premature celebration!
{A banner comes down from out of nowhere that says "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"}
AIRSTAR:Yep! Now let's go door to door and get more soldiers for the Airstarmy.
{Cut to Airstar at the door of some house with a clipboard. He rings the door bell and out comes some cuban guy with a cuban cigar in his mouth.}
AIRSTAR:Hello. Would you like to be strong and join the Air Force, I mean Airstarmy?
CUBAN GUY:{Spanish accent.} Hey! It's me Airstar!
AIRSTAR:Oh, right! It's Antonio from email 28! How are you doing bud?
ANTONIO:Not to good...
{Zoom out to see his entire house, which is just a shack.}
AIRSTAR:Oh. How come I didn't notice that?
ANTONIO:I dunno.
WOMAN'S VOICE:Antonio! ¡EL WHO ES USTED QUE HABLA CON USTED IMBISULE?!
ANTONIO:MARIA! ¡APENAS LE ESTOY HABLANDO CON UN AMIGO APLICACIÓN DE COCINA! ¡ENFERMERA DE LAS BUENAS NOCHES!
AIRSTAR:Uh...so would you like to sign up for the Airstarmy?
ANTONIO:Sure, sure. No problem. In fact! I'll get my Mexican, Korean and Italian friends to sign up, too!
{Mexistar, The Korean Gangster and Mario come out.}
AIRSTAR:Hey! It's Mexistar from email 26. Olah, man.
{Antonio and Mexistar sign the clipboard.}
MARIO:Me and Korean gangster here are already in-a.
ANTONIO:Oh. Well, see ya Airstar!
AIRSTAR:Adios Cuban, Mexican, Italian and Korean stereotypes.
{He walks away.}
AIRSTAR:Well, now i've got to recruit other people I know. And people I haven't seen in a while.
{Homestar pops up.}
HOMESTAR:Can I help?!
AIRSTAR:Whatever.
{Airstar holds up a list}
AIRSTAR:Next up is The Farmer who punched a cow in email 12.
{Cut to Airstar and Homestar with clipboards in a feild talking to the farmer.}
AIRSTAR:Uhh...would y-
HOMESTAR:Ou like to join the crazy fun and non-shell shocky or tramatizing experience of war?
FARMER:Well, not rea-
HOMESTAR:Sign here!
{Homestar grabs the man's hand and forces him to sign.}
HOMESTAR:Thank you.
AIRSTAR:That's actually pretty efficient. Now to head to Canada to recruit John Kleenex the fourth so that he can have Kleenex sponsor the war, so we can get even more money!
HOMESTAR:When did you meet John Kleenex?
AIRSTAR:Email 29. So let's get to Canada!
{Charlie and Craig Reid come up from the bushes.}
CHARLIE:Are you going to walk 500 miles and then walk 500 more?
AIRSTAR:No, i'm taking the blimp.
CRAIG:Oh...
{Charlie and Craig sign the clipboard. Cut to the blimp hovering only slightly above ground. Airstar and Schoolstar can be seen in the window.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Why so low?
AIRSTAR:Have you seen gas prices lately? I'm just tryin' to save money.
SCHOOLSTAR:You just got billions of dollars from selling a body and a plane!
AIRSTAR:That money is for military purposes only!
{Cut to the blimp hovering over a sign that says "Weclome to Frankort, Kentucky. Redgrass and Purplegrass need not apply". Cut to the blimp landing at the side of the road and getting out and talking to the "Frankforter" from email 29.}
AIRSTAR:Hey! It's the same Frankforter I asked directions from in email 29! You've aged.
{He lowers his eyelids.}
AIRSTAR:Anyway, I need directions to the Kleenex HQ in Canada.
FRANKFORTER:I knew you might come again eight months, sixteen days and Three hours later, so I mapquested it for you in advance.
{The Frankforter hands him the MapQuest sheet.}
AIRSTAR:Ah! MapQuest! Very reliable! Sign here.
{The Frankforter signs the clipboard.}
AIRSTAR:Alright, let's go!
{Cut to the blimp in the Australian desert.}
AIRSTAR:Okay, MapQuest isn't very reliable.
{You see Super Sam come in from the right side of the screen boxing a Kangaroo.}
SUPER SAM:Take that! And this! And that! And, {Shakes up fist} THAT! {Punches the Kangaroo out.} Yes!
{Strong Bad comes out from the blimp doors and walks up to Super Sam.}
STRONG BAD:Your Superness, you have to help us. MapQuest acidentally lead us to Australia instead of Canada, somehow. This is worse than when the Cheat ate Marzipan! So please, help us! Our Blimp is out of gas. {The Kangaroo gets back up.}
STRONG BAD:Whoa! That thing is coming back for revenge!
SUPER SAM:Oh, no it isn't. He's my pet. We were just screwin' around.
STRONG BAD:So that's your Kangaroo?
SUPER SAM:Yep. This is my freakin' kangaroo. I call him, freakin' kangaroo. Hey freakin' kangaroo! Should we help these guys?
AIRSTAR:YES! You need to pay me back after you and the other sysops captured me in email 30!
SUPER SAM:Good point. C'mon, Freakin' Kangaroo! We have some work to do. I will have you all get on Freakin' Kangaroo's back. He can fly, using genetic engineering.
{They all get out of the blimp and jump on the kangaroo's back. He starts to fly, and they go up into the clouds}
AIRSTAR:Holy crap!
STRONG BAD:Indeed!
SUPER SAM:What are you talking about? Freaking Kangaroo is freakin' useless. The other Aussies' kangaroos far outfly mine.
{The Kangaroo starts to fall downward. A red light on the tail starts flashing and making the "Blue-Laz Alert" sound.}
SUPER SAM:Holy crap!
ALL:AHHH!!!
{The clouds clear and you see a large government building and many surrounding factories.}
SUPER SAM:I'D RECOGNIZE THAT ANYWHERE! I SAW THIS ON TV!
STRONG BAD:Australians have TVs?
SUPER SAM:OH, THAT IS SUCH A STEREOTYPE! WE'VE HAD ELECTRICITY SINCE THE LATE 1980'S!
{The kangaroo crashes through the ceiling of the government building, and as the dust clears, you see a chinese man at a desk with chinese flags on both sides. The four of them get up.}
AIRSTAR:Ow... who are you?
CHINESE GUY:Herro! I am Hu Jianto. All grorious awesome reader of China!
HOMESTAR:So we're in China? Hmm...no wonder it smells like dog food and death.
SUPER SAM:Listen Dr.Hu, we need to get to Canada! And Freakin' Kangaroo is too lazy to take us anywhere!
{Homsar44withpie comes in.}
AIRSTAR:Whoa! What are you doing here?
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Well, guess where all the hair braiders and Homsar's Dream ice cream treats come from? Here in China! Finally I can braid my nonexistent hair.
HU JIANTO:Sirence! You wirr onry get our Made In China Brimp if you work here in our factories for a week!
STRONG BAD:What? This is ridiculous!
HU JIANTO:No, it isn't. As rong as you're in China, it's ridicourous. HA HA HA HA!!
{Cut to Airstar, Homestar, Strong Bad, Homsar44withpie and Super Sam in raggy clothing working on an assembly line with "Easy Buttons" going down it.}
AIRSTAR:Well, this certainly sucks.
SUPER SAM:That freakin' Kangaroo is so lazy.
AIRSTAR:What are you talking about? Freakin' Kangaroo is mortally wounded!
SUPER SAM:More like, Lazily wounded.
STRONG BAD:Man, we have to find some way to get out of here and steal the blimp. But how?
HOMESTAR:I have an idea!
STRONG BAD:I have a better idea. How about we jump on this assembly line and it'll transport us to America! Because this is where all the crap we buy at home is made!
AIRSTAR:Perfect!
{They all jump on, and they move down the assembly line, as Chinese kids hit them with wrenches and paint them red. After that they all get dumped into a box, which is put on a ship that is sailing to America. Cut to Airstar, Schoolstar, Super Sam, Freaking Kangaroo and Homsar44withpie all in a cramped box.}
AIRSTAR:Well this is, uncomfortable. How long ti'll we get there?
SUPER SAM:I'd say about four days.
AIRSTAR:Oy.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:This sucks. I didn't even get my hair braider. Plus we're all red.
AIRSTAR:The Chinese are red too!
{They all start laughing.}
AIRSTAR:Because they're communists.
SUPER SAM:We get it.
AIRSTAR:Wait a minute, where's Strong Bad and Homestar?
{Cut to Strong Bad and Homestar on a plane in first class.}
STRONG BAD:Heh heh. Main characters always get better treatment!
HOMESTAR:Yeah. I can't wait to get back to America!
STRONG BAD:I have tickets to a baseball game for tommorow.
HOMESTAR:Cool.
{Senor Cardgage in a Stewardess outfit walks up to them.}
SENOR CARDGAGE:Heilo Princess Beach. What would you licked to be havin' tug night?
STRONG BAD:I'll have some 1974 Champagne, please.
HOMESTAR:And i'll have the Kid's Meal!
{Cut to Strong Bad and Homestar sitting on the couch in the basement five days later.}
CALEB:That guy should get a calendar! It's the 90's!
{Canned laughter}
TUCKSWORTH:At least I didn't want to grow a ZZ Top Beard and get a hacky sack to throw at turtles!
{Canned confusion}
HOMESTAR:I wonder if Airstar has gotten back yet.
{Airstar comes in, wet and with some red paint left on him.}
AIRSTAR:I JUST DID! AND YOU GUYS SUCK! Now i'm gonna go to Canada to get the support of Kleenex. Good day!
{He walks out of the room. Cut to the inside of a dark dome with a hallway seventy-five feet off the ground, and at the end of it there's one man at a computer, with tissues coming out of his printer. Airstar walks down this hallway until he gets to the man.}
AIRSTAR:Hey John!
{He turns around.}
JOHN KLEENEX THE 4TH:Hey, it's Airstar! I haven't seen you since your 29th email.
AIRSTAR:Yeah. So how is the only guy who works for Kleenex, huh?
JOHN:Good. Good. What's happened to you since I last saw you?
AIRSTAR:Well, i've been captured by sysops, my nephew died, and then came back to life, I climbed Mount Everest, Moved to New York, Then to France, Got Captured in France, I rid my own town of Deadly Spirits, I got married, then divorced, Tried to stop TCLC from blowing up the world, Went to therapy, Destroyed the Ultimatum, Went into space to stop a madman from killing Green helmet, Got my blimp stolen, found Amelia Airheart's body and plane and right now i'm trying to send an army of volunteers with guns and planes and tanks and bombs to destroy a mafia base. So, just same old same old.
{John's jaw is dropped.}
AIRSTAR:What?
JOHN:Nothing, that just seems, like alot!
AIRSTAR:Yeah, I have a pretty eventful life. So can Kleenex sponsor my War against The Superdude mafia?
JOHN:Uhhh...Sure. We'll even have the Canadian military get off their fannies and help you.
AIRSTAR:YES!
{Cut to Coach Z's gym. Airstar and the Airstarmy are in there wearing their blue helmets.}
AIRSTAR:Alright, you maggots. You need to be trained like it's 1999.
{Coach Z comes in.}
COACH Z:Uhh...I dorn't mind ya trainin' here, but are the {Zoom out to see giant blue tanks with white stars on them.} tanks really neccesary?
AIRSTAR:Yes.
COACH Z:In that case, i'll join!
{Airstar throws him the blue hat. Cut back to previous view.}
AIRSTAR:Alright, maggots. I've fought evils in 2006 and 2007. So in this year of 2008 we will have the largest and most awesome victory in the history of no armed whiteys finding skeletons and planes underwater and then selling that and using the money you got from that to fund a military operation against a Mafia base.
OFSCREEN VOICE:CARE FOR SOME, 2007 MEMORIES?!!!#@!#@1#
AIRSTAR:Huh?
{Garbachov comes in.}
AIRSTAR:AHH! Don't kill me!
GARBACHOV:I'M NOT GONNA KILL YA!32!#@!432 AIRSTAR FLYER, ALL THIS TIME I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' AROUND, AND YOU WEREN'T RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME@@!$#@!$#@!4#@ AND THEN I REALISED-WHEN I WAS LOOKIN' AROUND, YOU WERE RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME-ALL THIS TIME-AIRSTAR FLYER@1#@!$#@$#@!$#@!
AIRSTAR:Uhh...wha-what?
GARBACHOV:AIRSTAR I WANNA GET BACK TOGETHER@!@!$%@!%4!%423
AIRSTAR:Garby, I don't think that would work out...
GARBACHOV:YOU'LL BE WITH AND LIKE IT OR I'LL KILL YOU!@!#@!#@!#@!%$#@
AIRSTAR:Okay, okay. {Sigh} Anyway, {Garbachov puts her arm around his shoulder, and he looks her with a shocked look.}
AIRSTAR:Uhh...anyway, maggots. You have to climb up the wall.
{Cut to Cram,Bubs, Young Roy, Homsar, Two white and red Astromunds, Strong Bad, Jimmy Carter, Coach Z and Bobe Dole climbing up a wall. Cut back to Airstar and Garbachov}
AIRSTAR:Wow. Note to viewers:These are not just random people, these are people from previous emails. Just wanted to clear that up.
GARBACHOV:HERE COME THE FWP POLICE@!$321$321432!2!3@!32&^6542432$2364^%4%^$^%4^%4!11@
{The FWP police walk up to Airstar with guns.}
FWP OFFICER PLAYED BY JOHN C. MCGINLEY:You're under arrest for breaking the fourth wall, Judy.
AIRSTAR:Crap. Wait, i'm part of the Airstarmy!
FWP OFFICER 2 PLAYED BY NEIL FLYNN:So what, Scooter?
AIRSTAR:{Opens mouth, as if about to say something, then closes it.} Scooter? Anyway, we want you to join the Airstarmy so you can defend FCUSA from Blimp Stealers. And you're going to arrest me for this noble cause?!
{A third FWP officer comes in.}
FWP OFFICER 3 PLAYED BY ROB COORDRY:I'm sorry, Jon. But you're gonna have to go.
FWP OFFICER 2 PLAYED BY NEIL FLYNN:Wait, idiot. I think we should let him off with just a warning.
FWP OFFICER PLAYED BY JOHN C. MCGINLEY:You're right Barbie.
AIRSTAR:Great. Then you can be part of this noble cause. Sign here.
{Airstar gets the clipboard out. They all sign it.}
FWP OFFICER PLAYED BY JOHN C. MCGINLEY:There you go, Ghandi.
{They all go and start climbing the wall for practice. Strong Sad walks up to Airstar.}
STRONG SAD:Do you have a strategy for Operation:Mafian Freedom?
AIRSTAR:Not yet. But I will once I consult my Military Advisor, who is also my Spiritual advisor. But first, a parody.
{Cut to a bunch of the soldiers in a line, with Airstar as the drill seargent. He walks up to Trevor.}
AIRSTAR:WHAT'S YOUR NAME, PRIVATE?
TREVOR:Trevor L. Opamt, sir.
AIRSTAR:THAT'S THE STUPIDEST NAME I'VE EVER HEARD. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
TREVOR:South Carolina, sir.
AIRSTAR:SOUTH CAROLINA? THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE ARE STEERS AND WEIRDS WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
TREVOR:Steers and weirds? What are you talking about, it's steers and-
AIRSTAR:SHUT UP PRIVATE! 4WIMP'D IS NEARBY AND I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING INNAPROPRIATE SO YOU BETTER, they say that it corrupts, our children. So I have to say weirds instead of the other, word.
TREVOR:Right, well i'm a steer, sir. Pure Bred.
AIRSTAR;WELL YOU BETTER DO SOME PRIME QUALITY WORK OR I'LL F-
{Airjet Booster, Trainstar Squigblast, Chuckball, Airbird Inventor, Learnstar Liner and The Snuck warp in the room.}
AIRSTAR:Woah, the 20X9 and 1941 versions of myself, Schoolstar and the Chuck! What are you guys doing in 2008?
AIRJET BOOSTER:Well, I was reading the family history books in the basement of my spaceship, and I was reading about my Grandfather, Airstar Flyer, and the Battle of The Mafia base. Right when I was about to get to the end, I said "I don't wanna know what happened, I want to help the fight." So we went back in time to help you win.
AIRSTAR:Cool. Sign up here.
{He hands out the clipboard and they sign it.}
TRAINSTAR:Man. My soul is deprived of the all of the following:Love, Campanionship, Friendship, Certainty,
AIRSTAR:{Talks as Trainstar continues his list} Anyway, what about you Airbird Inventor?
AIRBIRD INVENTOR:Well I a was gettin' some antelope out a garbage can, when I found a magical ball that told me about the year o' Twenty-Aught-Eight. So I done wanted to help.
LEARNSTAR LINER:I'm an all around Sad's sad! Uhh...Ehhhh....Ohhh...Xhhh...
CHUCKBALL:Chuckball! So I guess we'll have to do some training?
AIRSTAR:Yep. In fact, let's get back to that!
TRAINSTAR SQUIGBLAST:Life, Johhny Depp, Chocolate and love.
AIRSTAR:ALRIGHT MAGGOTS! CLIMB UNDER THIS CHEAP AS FREE BARBED WIRE!
{Cut to the barbed wire. John Kerry, Thatkidsam, The Cheat, Senor Cardgage and The Goat Rambler are crawling under it.}
AIRSTAR:Holy crap! Goat rambler, get up!
{The Goat Rambler stands up.}
THE GOAT RAMBLER:Yessir?
AIRSTAR:Hey, man! You're the guy who tried to break us out of that Jail Cell when I got captured in email 11! How ya doin'?
GOAT RAMBLER:Ne'er anything. Well I mean, briefly I was done a Sen-ator for da golsh dhun state o' 'ucky.
AIRSTAR:What? Anyway, so keep training!
{Cut to three rows of bunkbeds and a bunch of soldiers getting into them.}
AIRSTAR:They could attack us at any time, so you need to be ready for combat. That's why, you're beds are 1% Cotton, 1% Cloth, and 98% TNT.
{Everyone gasps.}
AIRSTAR:But don't worry. You would need to light the bed to make it explode. So no cigarettes.
ANTONIO:Oh, mierda!
AIRSTAR:But until bedtime, you will be cleaning this place up.
{Cut to Strong Bad sitting on his bottom bunk bed.}
STRONG BAD:Great. Not only do I have to sleep under this moron,
{Homestar slides down from the ladder.}
HOMESTAR:Yo!
STRONG BAD:But I can't play Pac-Man.
HOMESTAR:How many games did they make about him?
{Strong Bad gets out his gun and starts cleaning it.}
STRONG BAD:Well, there's Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Pac Man Jr., Pac Man Extra, Puck-Man,
{Cut to Strong Bad and Homestar cleaning the walls.}
STRONG BAD:Pac-Man's Sister, Priest Pac-Man, Officer Pac-Man, General Colin Pacman, Twice Divorced Pac-Man, Murderous Pac-Man,
{Cut to them cleaning toilets.}
STRONG BAD:Teenage Pac-Man, Junkie Pac-Man, Super Pac-Man, Robot Pac-Man, Morbidly obese Pac-Man, Senator Pac-Man,
{Cut to them scrubbing floors.}
STRONG BAD:Computer geek Pac-Man, Bartender Pac-Man, Thrice Divorced Pac-Man, Ghost Pac-Man, Communist Pac-Man, User:PacMan, Lobbyist Pac-Man,
HOMESTAR:Is that all?
STRONG BAD:Yeah. That's all.
{Cut to Airstar, Schoolstar, The Chuck, Darktower and Bubs in a dark, smoky room.}
AIRSTAR:We need a strategy for this war. But we don't have one yet.
BUBS:Can I have advertisements on the planes, advertising my stand?
AIRSTAR:Yes! That's good.
{Garbachov comes up from out of nowhere.}
GARBACHOV:HEY SWEETLING!!!@#!$#@!$@#!$@#$^%#6$76%74^3^%36%3$!!!
AIRSTAR:Hi. {Rolls his eyes}
THE CHUCK:We need to come up with the perfect military weapon. How about, the Giant Deadly lolipop?
AIRSTAR:No, no! The-
GARBACHOV:YOU SEE, I AGREE, WITH BOTH OF YOU!2!23!3!43@1#$@!%43@543@
{They just stare weirded out at her.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Look, all you guys need to do is consult the Three Monks. They will tell you what to do.
AIRSTAR:Good idea. Let's go, Bubs.
{Airstar and Bubs walk out of the room.}
GARBACHOV:I'M COMING!#@!32!452!45!4#2$1!!!
{She walks out too.}
THE CHUCK:This is a little odd, this room is all smoky, yet nobody is smoking.
DARKTOWER:Uh-oh, it's POISON GAS!
{They both pass out, and then Darknight Creeper and Superdude come into the room and pick up the bodies.}
SUPERDUDE:Good idea, Darknight! Releasing Knock out gas into the room? Classic!
DARKNIGHT:Thanks. Let's go torture these guys like it's 1999.
SUPERDUDE:Alright.
{Cut to a War Jeep that's blue with a white star on it. Airstar, Bubs and Garbachov are in it. Close-up on them.}
AIRSTAR:Now, remember. The three monks are at the top of the King Of Town's castle, and they like to be called the three keepers of Trogdor. Even though Trogdor died 1000 years ago.
BUBS:Got it!
GARBACHOV:LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
{While she's doing that they clench their teeth and shut their eyes.}
GARBACHOV:LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA@!#@!$#@!$#@!$#@!$#@!$#@!#A
AIRSTAR:What was that?
GARBACHOV:THAT WAS THE SOUND OF MY ETERNAL LOVE FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
{They clench their teeth and shut their eyes again.}
GARBACHOV:YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!@#!#@!$#@!
AIRSTAR:Uh, I think we should br-
GARBACHOV:I WILL PUT YOU IN AN ARENA OF ETERNAL TORTURE AND WATCH lIONS REMOVE YOU BIT TO BIT IF YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE$@!$#@!$#@!$#@!$#@!$#@!$#@!$#@
AIRSTAR:Br-unch. I think we, should have {Gulp} Brunch.
GARBACHOV:BETTER$%@!$@!$#@
{They park once they get to the King's castle. They get out and walk up to the wall.}
AIRSTAR:Come on, Bubs.
BUBS:I haven't climbed a wall since 98'. But if it must be done, then it must be done.
{Close up on Bubs' face.}
BUBS:Let's rock.
{The King of Town walks out from the door with a Modem in his hand.}
THe KING OF TOWN:What are you kids doing?
AIRSTAR:I am 31.
THE KING OF TOWN:Don't care. What are you five year old girls doing?
AIRSTAR:Don't call us that, and we're 'bout ready to climb your castle and ask for the advice from the Three Keepers of Trogdor.
THE KING OF TOWN:But there's a door right here.
AIRSTAR:I'm not paying a toll.
THE KING OF TOWN:Whatever. Now let me eat this snack!
{Starts chewing on the modem.}
BUBS:Ew.
{Cut to them climbing the wall with classical (?) music playing in the background.}
AIRSTAR:What the? Isn't the heavy rock music supposed to be playing?
SOUND EFFECTS GUY:{Offscreen} Sorry! Let me see, where is heavy rock music? Is it this button? {Plays "Boboran" by the Beach Boys.} Nope. {Stops playing} This? {Plays that Freecreditreport.com song} Nope. {Stops} This one? {Plays the following}
OXYGENSTAR'S VOICE:Alright Lil' Airstar, this is our first Father-son blimp fix.
LIL' AIRSTAR:I can't see it, I need my glasses!
OXYGENSTAR'S VOICE:No, you're just weak!
BREATHSTAR'S VOICE:LEAVE HIM ALONE!
SOUND EFFECTS GUY:Nope. This? {Heavy metal plays.} There we go.
AIRSTAR:{Annoyed} Thanks, Tom.
{They continue climbing until they reach the top. All three get up on the top of the castle to see the Three Monks from email 23.}
AIRSTAR:Hello, my three.
MONK 1:Hello.
MONK 2:Hello.
MONK 3:Hello.
MONK 4:Hello.
AIRSTAR:Three Keepers of Trogdor,
MONK 2:Stop right there. We are no longer the Three Keepers Of Trogdor, we are now guarding a young dragon, which by 20X6, will be as large as Trogdor was.
MONK 1:We are...
ALL FOUR:The Three Keepers of Trogador!
{A short, young Trogador scurries out.}
MONK 3:Isn't he cute?
BUBS:Yeah, but we need advice for the war we're about to go to with the Superdude Mafia. We need a strategy.
GARBACHOV:AND WE WANT IT NOW@342!432!432!432
ALL FOUR:AHHH!
MONK 4:We will consult the Marzipan.
AIRSTAR:Oh, great.
{Cut to the Three monks talking to Marzipan at the top of the castle.}
MONK 1:So, uhh...how, how's your day, been?
MARZIPAN:It's, uhh...o-okay.
MONK 2:{Overlapping} Cause' we were wonderin' if like you could, uhh...
MONK 3:Give us some a-advice, about a war, that a friend of ours,
MONK 4:Is goin' into.
MARZIPAN:Well, uhh...
MONK 5 (?):Please?
MARZIPAN:Ummm...I guess, try you best, to uhhh...not go to war.
MONK 1:What? No! You know what? We'll come up with the strategy.
{Cut to the Monks talking to Airstar,Bubs and Garbachov.}
MONK 1:Here's the strategy! {He holds out a peice of paper. Close up on it. It has a picture of a building labeled "Military Base/Gym"} Okay, you get the soldiers into their vehicles, and make sure the planes aren't deployed until you say, and then, have the soldiers sneak from the base to Bubs' Conncession Stand.{Picture rolls over too a picure of Bubs' stand with Bubs holding a lolipop.} Then around Strong Badia, {Rolls over to a picture of Strong Badia with a stop sign that says "Sop".} Then around the King's Castle until you penetrate the base. {Goes right past the castle drawing to the mafia base.} Then, release the planes and tanks and stuff. There! How you like that?
{Zoom out}
AIRSTAR:It's good. We'll take it! How do you guys feel 'bout it?
{The camera pans to the Time Travelers.}
AIRJET BOOSTER:It's pretty bladin'.
AIRSTAR:What?
AIRJET BOOSTER:Oh, that 20X0's slang.
AIRSTAR:Oh.
TRAINSTAR SQUIGBLAST:It's okay.
AIRBIRD INVENTOR:It's quite habberdashin'!
CHUCKBALL:Chuckball! Chuckball! It's pretty bladin' alright!
THE SNUCK:{Moves his nose.} Yeah, it's okay.
AIRSTAR:Great! Although I would prefer it be like this.
{Cut back to the gym, where Airstar is at a table with some scratch paper. Close up on the peice of scratch paper. Comic Airstar, Schoolstar, The Chuck and Comic Darktower are on there.}
COMIC AIRSTAR:Let;s move in, boys!
{They start moving with rifles to the base, and shoot, with planes and tanks in the background.}
COMIC SCHOOLSTAR:We're winning! Victory is assured!
COMIC THE CHUCK:Don't get cocky, 'cause it's gonna get rocky!
COMIC DARKTOWER:Uh-oh. What is that?
COMIC AIRSTAR:It's an atom bomb!
{The bomb lands on them and they all die. Cut back to Airstar at the table in the gym drwaing that.}
AIRSTAR:WHY CAN'T I DRAW MYSELF WINNING?! RRGHHH!
{Bubs walks up to him.}
BUBS:Uh, sir?
{He gets up.}
AIRSTAR:WHAT?!
BUBS:The Chuck and Darktower have been kidnapped by the mafia.
AIRSTAR:WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??!!!!!!
{Cut to The Chuck and Darktower in orange prison geddups in a dark room, and they're tied to a chair. Darknight has a bucket of water in her hand, and a cigarrete in her mouth.}
DARKNIGHT:Alright, juys. Either you don't tell us, and we waterboard you, or you do tell us, and we waterboard you?
DARKTOWER:Is this even legal?
DARKNIGHT:Yep. Just ask President Bush and his friends.
{President Bush, Secretary of State Condi Rice, Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates and Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales come in.}
ALL O' THEM:DO IT! DO IT!
DICK CHENEY:I'm puttin' 1200 down on Chucky dying first!
DARKNIGHT:Alright, get out! I know MikeControl is trying to reintroduce old characters from his show, but come on!
ALBERTO GONZALES:I don't recall them ever being on this email show.
DARKNIGHT:GET OUT!
{They leave.}
DARKNIGHT:Alright, let's do dis.
{Cut to Airstar on the stage with all the soldiers sitting down.}
AIRSTAR:My fellow FCUSAians, it is with great honor, that I start this war because of 5-11, the day that my blimp was stolen from thos guys. In three days, May 28, 2008, we will fight for my blimp, and also The Chuck and Darktower. Also, you gotta want it. You gotta want want want it. So have a good night and don't light your bed on fire. G'night.
{Cut to the morning of May 28th. Everybody is getting up from their bunkbeds.}
AIRSTAR:Alright, peoples. It's me screaming at you time. Everyone get in a line. They all get in a line and face him. He walks over to Plombs, the French Bubs from email 39.}
AIRSTAR:What is your name, private?
PLOMBS:I'm Lietunant Stande' sir.
AIRSTAR:WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
PLOMBS:Paris, France sir.
AIRSTAR:YOUR FROM PARIS, FRANCE? I've heard that place is nice.
PLOMBS:Yeah, it-it is.
AIRSTAR:Yeah. Movin' on.
{He walks over to the Russian guy from email 36.}
AIRSTAR:WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM YOU COMMY?
RUSSIAN GUY:Will people get over that commy thing?! We haven't been communist since the early 90's!
AIRSTAR:You're right. I'm sorry. You know what? Screw this let's just go.
ALL:YEAH!
STRONG MAD:I'M SO EXCITED!
STRONG BAD:Me too! I'm gonna get to shoot and, uh, shoot people. With tanks.
HOMESTAR:I'm gonna shoot people with my mouth!
STRONG BAD:How?
HOMESTAR:I dunno. You can shoot somethin' with anything these days. Just ask The Elephant man.
{The Elephant Man comes in. Homestar and Strong Bad look horrified.}
ELEPHANT MAN:It's true. After I got mutated, I used a mirror to look at myself, and it shot me, making me even uglier.
{Cut to Airstar and Bubs talking to Jon Stewart at the set of "The Daily Show". Airstar is putting make up on his face.}
AIRSTAR:So boss, you gonnas talkin' about my war?
JON STEWART:Yeah, yeah whatever.
BUBS:And i'm gonna be the guest?
JON STEWART:Yes, now go!
{They both leave. Cut to a graphic of a bunch Earths and American symbols flyin' around.}
NARRARATOR:Tonight, May 28, 2008. Live from the Comedy Central News Headquarters in New York, this is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
{The graphics go away and it pans in on Jon Stewart at his desk with all the blue and red symbols, and LED signs showing the date and title. The audience cheers, as the camera closes in on Jon.}
JON STEWART:Thank you, thank you so much! You're too kind! Thank you, wooh!
{The audience settles down.}
JON STEWART:We got a great show for you tonight, Bubs Stand will be here! He's a guy that's helping out with the subject of this next segment! Hit me with the graphic! {Light laughter}
{It shows a graphic with a picture of Airstar and Superdude clashing together and exploding with the words, "AIRSTAR VS. SUPERUDE MAFIA:THE STRUGGLE" Then that explodes and it cuts back to Jon.}
JON STEWART:That's right! It's an epic war between one of our writers, Airstar Flyer, you may remember him from when he covered the French Bandit story, {Loud appluase} Thank you. And at the other side it's some mafia jerkfole named Superdude. {Booing from the audience.} Yeah, I know. So, it's....{Looks at watch.} 6:01 right now, for...us. {Light laughter.} It's about 11:01 for people here in New York and 10:01 in the South, and like 2879 A.D. in Utah. {Laughter.} That place is screwed up. But, at the time this is being taped, it's 6:01 and troops will advance into the Mafia base at 6:27. So, yeah. But first! The circumstances. You see, on May 11th, 2008 a gangster named Darknight Creeper, which, judging by her name her parent is Angelina Jolie, {Laughter.} and Superdude stole Mr.Flyer's blimp. What a shame. These soldiers have been training for weeks and weeks for this epic struggle. So, to make it less epic, we'll do this.
{Cut to footage of soldiers doing jumping jacks in fast-mo to the tune of the Chicken Dance. Laughter from the audience. Cut back to Jon.}
JON STEWART:Oh, we still got it. Now, {Chuckle} we go to Senior War In FCUSA Anylasist, Assif Mandvi.
{Cut to Airstar and Darktower watching the show on the TV.}
AIRSTAR:Well, we don't have time for this. Let's rock.
{Cut to Homestar, The Ninja, Coach Z, Thatkidsam, Strong Bad and Bubs in a blue tank moving through the field.}
STRONG BAD:This tank is awesome! I call controlling it!
THE NINJA:Crap.
COACH Z:Worhw. This is gonna be B-E-W-G Bewg.
THATKIDSAM:I'm gonna impale them with a stick!
BUBS:Strong-type-Bad, do you even know how to work a tank?
STRONG BAD:Sure I do! I use to operate a crane!
BUBS:That doesn't qualify you to operate a tank...
HOMESTAR:We're about to reach Bubs' Conncession Stand!
STRONG BAD:Alright, guys. Get ready.
{Cut to Superdude and Darknight instructing an army of Darkmandos.}
SUPERDUDE:Remember, have no mercy! Fight and fight! You have to gotta want to want it!
DARKNIGHT:Yeah, and be quick about it!
{Cut to Airstar and Darktower in the back of an army truck being driven by Young Roy.}
YOUNG ROY:We're almost there, sirs.
AIRSTAR:Thanks, Roy. He's serving me because of that thing he did to me.
DARKTOWER:What?
AIRSTAR:It's a long story. Let's just say, he's partly responsible for Schoolstar's death.
DARKTOWER:Ah. Anywho, check out my Machine Gun. {Holds up Machine gun.} Cool, huh? By the way, how long do you think this is going to take?
AIRSTAR:It could take six days, six weeks, I doubt six months.
DARKTOWER:Ah.
AIRSTAR:{Holds up Magic Balloon.} You better not fail me Magic Balloon. Byt he way, how'd you escape from Superdude's clutches?
DARKTOWER:I used my feet to pick up the water bucket and spash him, he fell down so I hopped out of the room by jumping through the glass in the window of the door and avoiding gunfire while sliding down the sewers.
AIRSTAR:Ah.
{Cut to Mario, The Korean Gangster, Mexistar, Antonio and Pom-Pom on a mushroom style Airstarmy vehicle with "MUSHROOM EMBASSY SINCE 1981 TRENTON NJ" on the side.}
MARIO:The Mushroom Embassy will-a be victorious-a.
ANTONIO:I can't wait to throw this TNT bunkbed. {Holds up TNT Bunkbed.}
POM-POM:{Bubbles "Here comes Strong Badia"}
{The vehicles swing around Strong Badia and head toward the KOT's castle. The vehicles swing around that and they see the Mafia base. Cut to Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:Ready, set, GO!
{Zoom out. Planes are released from shacks and start shooting, and tanks move in and shoot at the building, while snipers from the Mafia base shoot too. Then, soldiers with guns move in, and try to fight against the darkmandos that are released. Cut to Strong Bad in his tank, shooting things.}
STRONG BAD:Wooh hoo! This is awesome!
{Cut to Airstar in a Fighter Plane going over the base, and he drops a bomb on them, and gets shot at by a dark plane. They engage in a dogfight. Cut to Darktower on top of a Blue Tower shooting bullets, while darkmandos attempt to pull down the tower. Cut to a bunch of soldiers using a rope to pull down a statue of Superdude. They pull it down, and then are ambushed by Darkmandos. The fighting goes on, showing incessant scenes of fighting and shooting and dog fights. Then planes fly in too a plane landing area inside the base. Darkmandos walk up with guns as Airstar and Darktower get out.}
AIRSTAR:Don't shoot! We just need to capture Superdude, possibly in a foxhole of some sort.
{They cock their guns.}
DARKTOWER:Wait a minute...
{The camera closes in on Darktower's eye, and you see images of Darktower in the Clones VS. Madmen war from emails 10-15. When the camera pans out, he starts going crazy and shooting everywhere, even at Airstar, he shoots the gun out of his hand.}
DARKTOWER:I GOTTA FIGHT THE CLONE RACISTS!!!
AIRSTAR:Holy crap! He's experiencing Shell Shock!
DARKMANDO:What's that?
AIRSTAR:It's when you have flashbacks to the war and you think it's real!
{Airstar hides behind a trashcan. A Darkmando shoots the gun out of his hand and handcuffs both of them and drags them off.}
AIRSTAR:Well thanks alot, Darktower.
DARKTOWER:HERE COMES THE EVIL PEEPS! AHHHH!!!
AIRSTAR:Save it for the shrink, flashback.
{Cut to Strong Bad shooting the tank with the others.}
STRONG BAD:Man, do you guys know where General Airstar Flyer is?
HOMESTAR:Nope. I assume he's winning us this war!
BUBS:HERE COMES A MISSILE!
ALL:AHHHH!!!
{Cut to Homsar riding his pirate wolf around while shooting wildly into the air.}
HOMSAR:AHhaHAHhaHAHahHAHha! I'M THE DECIPHERER!!!!
{Cram from email 41 runs up next to him.}
CRAM:Aim for the weak spot on the base or i'll smack you in the back of the head!
{Cram and Homsar shoot their guns in the same direction. You hear an explosion.}
CRAM:Ha! We did it! We blew up a big chunk of the base!
HOMSAR:AHAHAHAHAHAH! Aunt Georgia got me feelin' red!
{Cram smacks him in the back of the head.}
CRAM:Shut up. Anyway, ut-oh. They're retaliating!
{Cut to dark planes comming out of the damaged base and shooting everywhere.}
CRAM:{Picks up Walkie-Talkie.} Hello, hello?
{A tank gets blown up in the background.}
CRAM:WE NEED YOUR HELP, DUM-DUM!
{Cut to Airstar and Darktower in a holding cell.}
AIRSTAR:Man. I get captured by Evil People every ten emails. Number 10 with the Evil Peeps, Number 20 with the nassis, Number 30 by the Sysops, Number 40 and now 50.
DARKTOWER:DIDN'T YOU GET MARRIED IN EMAIL 40, MAAAAAAN?! AHHH! IT'S EVIL 1-UP!!
AIRSTAR:Yeah, I got Captured into marraige by an evil person! Heh. {Sigh.}
DARKTOWER:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! IT'S EVIL HOMSAR!!
AIRSTAR:This is just great, Darktower. You get shell shock and we get captured.
{You hear a faint explosion.}
AIRSTAR:See? They may be losing because of you.
DARKTOWER:I GOTS A BOMB THAT WILL DESTROY THE ANTI-CLONES!!!
AIRSTAR:Snap out of it, won't you?! Only if there was someone to let us out.
{The Kodak Easyshare ad from email 43 comes up with an army helmet on.}
AIRSTAR:Easyshare ad! Can you help us?
KODAK EASYSHARE AD:{Microsoft Sam Voice} SORRY, MAN. DON'T HAVE ARMS.
AIRSTAR:Crap. You're right. Wait just a Gard Danv minute! My, my,
{Cut to Mario riding on clamofuage Yoshi shooting fire balls.}
MARIO:You know, if that guy was in trouble-a he could've just used-a the Magic Balloon I gave him-a.
YOSHI:{Manly (?) voice} SHUT UP!
{Mario stares at him. Cut back to the holding cell.}
AIRSTAR:MY MAGIC BALLOON!
{He pulls out his magic balloon.}
MAGIC BALLOON:Hey. S'up. Need help?
AIRSTAR:Yeah, get me out of this Holding Cell. And also help me get past those Darkmandos.
MAGIC BALLOON:Alright. Let me do the secret chant. DÊ-LHE A ESPERANÇA FALSA!
{They warp out of the cell.}
AIRSTAR:YAHOO!
DARKTOWER:WE'RE ESCAPIN' DUDE!
AIRSTAR:You ruin everything, Shell Shocko.
{Two Darkmandos and Two White and Red astromunds walk up with guns.}
DARKMANDO:How'd you two get out?
RED ASTROMUND:Yeah! Seal the deal!
{The Magic Balloon shoots lasers out of it's mouth and kills both.}
AIRSTAR:Well, let's rescue The Chuck.
OFFSCREEN VOICE:I THINK NOT!!!21!@1#$21$#2!$#
{Garbachov comes in with a gun.}
AIRSTAR:Garbachov? What, what are you doing?
GARBACHOV:STOPPING YOU!@!@#!#@! I ONLY GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU SO I COULD EARN YOUR TRUST, AND SEE WHERE THAT GOT YOU?//Y&^$6$#65@4@
AIRSTAR:But, but,
{Superdude and Darknight walk up with guns from behind her.}
GARBACHOV:GOODBYE, AIRSTAR!@$@!43@!3$@!4#@!!#@!$#@!$#! {She cocks the gun. Cut to Airstar and Darktower, closing their eyes. Cut back to Garbachov. She shoots Airstar in the leg.}
AIRSTAR:OWWW!!! Thhhh....OW!!!
GARBACHOV:THAT WAS A PRACTICE SHOT!!$#2!43@!4#@1$#@1$32!54#@!4#@!5$#@^%43&6!
DARKNIGHT:Yeah, the real pain is comin'.
{They're about to shoot, but then a brick falls on Darktower's head and the Tank with Strong Bad in it crashes through the ceiling, and lands right next to Airstar and Darktower.}
STRONG BAD:Alright, let's do this!
{He fires the tank's gun, and Garbachov, Superdude and Darknight go flying off.}
ALL:YAAAY!
{Cut to Oxygenstar and Breathstar watching it on the news.}
REPORTER FROM TV:And the attack, has been succesful.
BOTH:YAAAY!
OXYGENSTAR:Aridus, get over here! The attack was succesful!
{Airstar's Uncle Aridus comes over there.}
UNCLE ARIDUS:Wow!
{Cut to Airstar, Strong Bad and Darktower entering the room where The Chuck is tied up.}
THE CHUCK:MEEEH!
AIRSTAR:Oh my god, The Chuck!
{He unties him and pulls off the duct tape.}
DARKTOWER:Thanks to that brick falling on my head, I feel alot less Shell Shocky.
STRONG BAD:You're welcome.
AIRSTAR:Well, now to get my blimp. Then, WE'LL BLOW THIS PLACE LIKE MOSES' FACE!
{Cut to a bird's eye view of the mafia base. The Blimp flys out the roof of the base into the sky. Cut to Airstar and Schoolstar and The Chuck in a hospital room with Airstar sitting on the bed. Dr.C-doggin and Dr.T-doggin is looking at the wound on his leg. He puts a bandage on it.}
DR.C-DOGGIN:There we go.
AIRSTAR:Thanks. Let's go.
{Cut to Airstar and the gang in the feild with the blimp in the background.}
AIRSTAR:Well I guess in the end, it all worked out. And,
{Zoom out to see Airstar,Schoolstar,The Chuck,Homestar,Bubs,Darknight Creeper,Airbird Inventor,Airjet Booster,Superstar Hoopster,Airstar's version of Trogdor,puppets,Kids,Strong Bad,little Airstar,little The Chuck, Little Strong Bad,Oxygenstar,Breathstar,ninjas,1-Up's evil version,Homestar evil version,The Goat Rambler,Clone-up,107-Up,two white and red astromunds,Homsar evil version,The Homestar Runner evil version,Anderson Cooper,some guy,a cow,Waldo,A cashier,The Chav, Shortstar Runner,Darktower,The Cheat,Homsar,Trevor,Stinkoman,1-Up,Agent,Super Sam,The Announcer,Mustachio Homestar,Dick Cheney,Coach Z,Dr.T-doggin,Atari Homestar,Cheerleader,assorted time period Airstars,Homsar44withpie,Taks test,Water Bad,Bill,Japanese guy,Joel,Birds,Conway Twitty, Dr.C-doggin,Dr.House,Dr.Demento,Dr.Hibbert,Dr.Hartfeild,Birdman,guy on walkie talkie,grampa Flyer,Jon Stewart,narrarator,Monk 1,Monk 2,Monk 3,Monk 4,FCUSA army,Toad,Goombas,Korean gangster,Luigi,Yoshi,Watteson Kurinashu Todayton Zubamabe Jonessers Grephidus Nackella Jr. the 193,394th,Mr.Gumballdassu,Edgar's sister,Chuckball,Trainstar Squigblast,Stinkoman,ET,buncha aliens,Mexistar,John Kerry,Bobe Dole,Al Gore,Antonio,The Knight,Two reporters,The KOT,Charlie and Craig Reid,Frankforter,Canadian guy,baby,John Kleenex,Joshua,Super Sam,Thatkidsam,Ekul,Rainer,Homeschool,Jerry Seinfeld,The Cleric,Tracy Ullman Airstar,Tracy Ullman The Chuck,Tracy Ullman Schoolstar,Badstar,Yoda's ghost,Obi-Wan's ghost,Kyle Westwood,Jason,Grant,Steve,Dustin,Andy,Dave,Jesus,Old lady,Senor Cardgage,Ninja,Blonde German guy,Young Roy,Homesore loser,Nurse,Nurse 2,Mario,Rat,Pom Pom,That Guy,Guy Guyerson,Ice Climbers,Captain Falcon,Count Bleck,FWP officers,Screaming guy,Generic guy,Mona Lisa,Dangersorta,Viper villian,Foriegn guy 1,Foriegn guy 2,The Goblin,Tecnhician guy,Homsar the user,Jimmy Carter,Ted the Darkmando,Darkmando,Aquacheat,Speaker lady, Hat, Comic Airstar, Comic Schoolstar, Comic The Chuck, Comic Darknight, Senor Guy, Senor Guy 2, Senor Guy 3, Old Wise Man, Bunches of Darkmandos, Russian Guy, Lil’ Darknight, Brad Pitt, Squiggle Hobo, Joseph Merrick, Several Attractive women, Mutating Machine Inventor man, Mr.Hoag, Army of Homestar clones, Leonardo DaVinci, Clonesar, X66X66, Overvoice, Plombs, Darknight’s dad, Criss Angel, Pirate Wolf, Garbachov, The Cleric, Old Airstar, Old Garbachov, Cram. Peacy P, Blackpitch Creeper, Oreo Cookie-man, Kodak Easyshare ad, Croogla The Elf, Esna Rybne, Liam Redbeard, Billy Stinkwater, Cameraman 1, Cameraman 2, Cameraman 3, Cameraman 4, O.J. Simpson, Evil Ghost, Trenchcoat guy, Assorted Evil Spirits, Space Captainface, Strap Coopmore, George W. Bush, Condoleeza Rice, Robert Gates, Green Helmet, Galacticacookie5, DarkChoke, Airwally, Darkwally, Darkbad76, Darkdude, Superdude, Curious L, Music Teacher, Mrs.Contestholderson, Orchestra, Pooper Troopers, Mario, Magic Balloon, Link, Samus, Donkey Kong, Maria, Freakin' Kangaroo, Hu Jianto, Several Chinese kids, Caleb, Tucksworth, FWP Officer Played by John C. McGinley, FWP Officer played by Neil Flynn, FWP Officer played by Rob Coordry, Learnstar Liner, The Snuck, Sound effects guy, Trogador, Monk 5, Comic Darktower, Alberto Gonzales, Strong Mad, TV Reporter and Uncle Aridus.}
ALL:HAPPY BIG 50TH EMAIL!!! YAAAAY!!!
{The paper comes down.}
