Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Bah?!
From Umcom
{Cut to Airstar in the computer room talking to Schoolstar.}
AIRSTAR:So, according to teh rules, you can't have an email show. Unless someone else owns it.
SCHOOLSTAR:But I died!
AIRSTAR:And I broke my ankle!
{Moves his foot to reaveal a cast on his ankle.}
AIRSTAR:But I don't get what I want! Except these pain pills.
{Airstar takes out a bottle of pain pills and puts two in his mouth, and then takes out a water bottle to swallow them down.}
AIRSTAR:Now I gotta check my email!
{He turns to the Skypy and clicks on the email icon. Close up shot.}
AIRSTAR:My email's parked in the handicapped spot, and I hurt.
Bah!?
Hey you! Airsta!
im lost in your closet.
Send me a map plz.
and can you send the king a hot dog?
hes hungly. and he'll blow upp the city without one.
H44WP, in your closet.
AIRSTAR:Lost in my closet? I don't think it's that big. And I think the KOT could do without a hotdog. That's how I broke my ankle.
{Cut to a video of Airstar dancing in his room listening to "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance. There's a hotdog sitting on a plate which is sitting on the floor. The date on the camera is August 18 2007. He keeps dancing until he trips over the hotdog and flies offscreen.}
AIRSTAR ON VIDEO:OH MY GOD! I'VE HURT MY ANKLE VERY BADLY! AGGH!
{The video stops. Cut back to Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:And that was supposed to be a YouTube video. But it turned into disaster. I like "Teenagers". Jeez. Anyway, INTERN!
{Cut to a wide shot. Homestar comes.}
HOMESTAR:Yes, siw?
AIRSTAR:Get me some cofee and maybe i'll pay you.
HOMESTAR:Okay.
AIRSTAR:Also, call Bub's Pharmacy. I need to stock up. The pain hurts!
{Homestar takes out a phone.}
HOMESTAR:Got them on speed dial!
AIRSTAR:Awesome.
SCHOOLSTAR:{Offscreen} LOOK AT THE TV!
{ Homestar races over. Airstar gets his cane and limps over to the TV room, which has an inflattible couch and blue walls. They sit down. Cut to close up on tv. Anderson Cooper is talking.}
ANDERSON COOPER:A situation near CNN's headquarters today, when the "KOT" as they call him, said that if he does not get a hotdog, he'll blow up the city. We've got FCUSA reporter T. Goblin on the scene.
{Cut to The Goblin holding a microphone to his mouth with a tie on at the KOT's castle.}
GOBLIN:{Regular monotone voice} A scary event in FCUSA today when Cosmo Caveat, also known as the King of Town, misconstrewed his powers as king. He has the button, though. To blow up his own city. This story was caught before us, by the Daily Show.
{Cut to a clip of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Comedy Central. In case you don't know, he's a 5 foot something tan guy with gray hair slicked back with gel. He's 44, though. He's sitting at a news desk with a picture of the KOT with a hotdog being shown on the left.}
JON STEWART:You know, for this Kingsident to want a hotdog or he'll blow up his own town, it makes you wonder, why don't they just give him a freakin' hot dog?! {Laughter from live studio audiience} I mean, come on! But this is a hush up for the Bush critisizers, at least he doesn't blow up the nation for WMDS...{Laughter. Cut back to The Goblin.}
GOBLIN:Funny, but the reason the haven't given him a hot dog is because of the town's shortage. Here's some clips from the hotdog factory in Far Off Lands.
{Cut to some foriegn guys in a hotdog assembly line.}
FORIEGN GUY 1 PLAYED BY NEIL FLYNN:I'm tired of being paid below minimum wage. Let's not work scooter! I mean Jose'.
FORIEGN GUY NUMBER 2 PLAYED BY JOHN C. MCGINLEY:You're right newbie. I mean Pablo.
{They both leave. Cut back to Goblin.}
GOBLIN:So, tough for FCUSA. Such a big story for a town with a population of 415. Oh, and this.
{Goblin does his dance.}
{Cut back to Airstar,Homestar and Schoolstar watching tv.}
AIRSTAR:Well,do we have any hot dogs?
SCHOOLSTAR:Let's go check.
{Some bumping noises are made from the wall.}
SCHOOLSTAR:What was that?
AIRSTAR:Probably nothing. Let's go.
{They all leave. Cut to a dirt tunnel somewhere. Homsar44withpie is crawling through.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Man, his closet is long. I'm lost. When's that freakin' map coming?
{He keeps crawling through the tunnel. Cut back to Schoolstar in the first time seen kitchen. It has blue walls and tiled floors with a stove,a fridge with pictures of Airstar,Schoolstar and The Chuck on it, some cabinets,a Microwave and some counters. Airstar's looking in the fridge.}
AIRSTAR:Nope. None. Notta. Nopers. Nun. Zilch. Nothing. At all. Nobody. Noob. Catnothing. Northin'. There's nothing in there.
{45 minutes later...}
AIRSTAR:Nork. Nos. Nuttin'. Nelly. Numbrain. Noganothing. Nupthing. Egh-
SCHOOLSTAR:OKAY SHUT UP!
AIRSTAR:The only thing I found was my pills, {Starts chugging pills. He finishes.} and this map. {Holds up a map.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Let me see that map!
{Schoolstar grabs the map, which makes Airstar fall onto the kitchen floor.}
AIRSTAR:OW MY ANKLE!
SCHOOLSTAR:Wow. This map details some kind of tunnel in this very blimp! It starts in your closet.
AIRSTAR:KINDA HURT HERE!
{Homestar comes in.}
HOMESTAR:Pills?
AIRSTAR:Yeah, just go ahead and melt them on a spoon and put them in my coffee.
HOMESTAR:Okay!
{Homestar runs away. Airstar gets up on his cane.}
AIRSTAR:Anyway, that map needs to be sent to Homsar44withpie using UWTPFPS! Or United What The Pfargtl Postal Services!
{Cut to an office with Senor Cardgage at the desk with a UWTPFPS cap on. Airstar limps in there while drinking pill coffee, and Schoolstar just walks in there up to the front desk.}
AIRSTAR:Hello, Senor.
SENOR CARDGAGE:Grood Afterevening to you girl's name.
AIRSTAR:Okay. Anyway, we need you to ship a map to a tunnel in a blimp through a closet.
SENOR CARDGAGE:What the pfargtl Joann?
AIRSTAR:Exactly! {Takes a sip of his pill coffee.}
{Cut to Homsar44withpie crawling through the tunnel. Kyle Westwood, the mailman from email 32, pops out of the side of the tunnel with a package.}
KYLE WESTWOOD:Delivery!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:It must be my hair braider!
{Homsar44withpie opens the package up to find it's the map.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:It's teh map!
THE MAP:I'm the map, i'm the map, i'm the map, i'm the map, i'm the map, i'm the-
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Shut up man! Nobody likes you.
{He looks at the map.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:So to get to the end, I must keep crawling down this tunnel! OF COURSE!
{Cut to The King Of Town on the top floor of his castle, sitting at a table, looking out the window.}
KOT:Sigh. I want my hotdog, but that Goblin's just reporting my threat! What happened to the hot dogs?
{The Poopsmith comes in with a sign that says "Far off lands went on strike."}
KOT:Stupid Far Off Lands! WHY?! That's it! I'm pressing the button!
{The kot reaches for the button. Cut to Airstar and Schoolstar watching tv in the blimp. Airstar's drinking coffee.}
AIRSTAR:I feel something bad is about to happen.
SCHOOLSTAR:Me too.
{You hear two heart beats. Cut to Strong Bad,Strong Mad and The Cheat beating up Strong Sad in his room. They all turn around. You hear 4 heart beats. Cut to Coach Z and Bubs talking at the stand.}
COACH Z:And then I killed him, and the police are still lookin' for me!
BUBS:Great!
{They both turn around. You hear 2 heart beats. Cut to Homsar44withpie in the tunnel.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Keep on crawling, wait, I sense something.
{Cut to fast close up shots of The Kot,The Poopsmith,Airstar,Schoolstar,The Chuck,Strong Bad,Strong Mad,The Cheat,Pom Pom,Bubs,Coach Z,The Ninja,Marzipan,Homestar,Homsar,Homsar44withpie,Bill Gates,Kyle Westwood,Senator Spazzman,Charlie Reid,Craig Reid,Korean Gangster,Dr.T-Doggin,Dr.C-Doggin,Superstar Hoopster,The map,Whitestar Chewer,The Goblin,MikeControl,Dick Cheney and 2 white and red astromunds, all acompanied with heart beats. Cut to the whole town view. An explosion comes from the KOT'S castle and spreads through the entire town. The screen fads to "To be continued..." the burning paper comes down.}
