Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Attic Horrors!
From Umcom
{Cut to Airstar at his computer. He clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:Shower me with emails and i'll repay the favor! By, uh...showering you...with emails.
HI! What horrors are lurking in your attic? It's gotta be cool up theres? TheCheese
AIRSTAR:My attic? Do blimps even have attics EZ Cheese? HOMSAR44!
{Zoom out. Homsar44withpie comes in and Airstar turns around.}
AIRSTAR:Does this blimp have an attic?
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:How do you expect me to know?
AIRSTAR:Because you have ventured through it's walls.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Oh, yes. Well I assume there's an attic in this one because I saw one when I was venturing through it's walls, but you've destroyed that blimp and moved on already.
AIRSTAR:You're right. I gotta go to the top of this blimp to see if there's an attic. But I need someone to go with me...
{The Chuck comes in with his hair greased back with a leather jacket on.}
AIRSTAR:Uhh...hey The Chuck.
THE CHUCK:Meh.
AIRSTAR:What's with the greaser thing?
THE CHUCK:I'm bringin' the look back!
AIRSTAR:Sure.
{Homestar comes in with Strong Bad's hat and trenchcoat on.}
HOMESTAR:Hey Airstar.
AIRSTAR:What do you want?
HOMESTAR:I'm about to go meet Coach Z, Bubs, Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Sad in the locker room, and I need a black peice of cloth.
AIRSTAR:Oh. {He throws a black peice of cloth at him.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:It's cold up there, so I suggest a coat and hat to keep warm.
HOMESTAR:Where are you guys going?
AIRSTAR:My attic.
HOMESTAR:Oh! Well, while you up there, can you get the Silver Meltshake I left up there a month or a decade ago.
AIRSTAR:If you give me that coat and hat, sure.
HOMESTAR:Deal!
{Homestar takes off the coat and hat and gives it to Airstar, who then puts it on.}
AIRSTAR:Why was the Melt Shake silver?
HOMESTAR:I think the place I bought it at was celebrating their ten year anniversary.
AIRSTAR:Alright, then. Shia, I mean The Chuck, wanna go to the attic?
THE CHUCK:Yes I do, Harrison. I mean Airstar.
AIRSTAR:But first, we must discuss things at Marshmallow's Last Stand.
{Cut to them both at a booth.}
AIRSTAR:We need a plan, so I did some research. Apparently the Silver Meltshake Cup was used ten years ago in 1947, I mean 1998 to commemorate that Convenient Store's tenth anniversary.
THE CHUCK:What's the convenient store?
AIRSTAR:The Woild Famous The Cheat Gas Station.
{Cut to a yellow and black spotted Gas Station with a statue of The Cheat on top. The sign says "Welcome to The Woild Famous The Cheat Gas Station|3.85-Regular Unleaded|3.99-Regular Leaded|4.20-Supreme Leaded|234.88-Supreme Ultra OMG Awesome Deluxe Ritz Super-Leaded| Airstar and The Chuck walk inside. Cut to inside. Airstar and The Chuck are talking to the clerk, who is Senor Cardgage.}
AIRSTAR:Senor, did you work here ten years ago?
SENOR CARDGAGE:Certayes, Bolivia.
AIRSTAR:Okay, do you remember the Silver Meltshake?
SENOR CARDGAGE:Defi-yes, Estonia. When ya scratch-ed off some of the silver, if you seen a kingdom, yous won a Cheatee.
AIRSTAR:I see.
SENOR CARDGAGE:The ching was, Serbia. That almost all of the cups were recallacked, because they were poison-worthy. Only one ended p havEhing the Klingdom. That was bought by Olivia Ferguson, AKA Homestar Runner.
AIRSTAR:So he must of lost it in his attic. Come on, The Chuck! We need that free Cheatee.
{Cut to Airstar, still with the Hat and trenchcoat on, and The Chuck, still with his greaser look, about to climb up the ladder in an unused room that leads to the attic. Schoolstar is standing oddly by.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Well, I guess just be careful.
AIRSTAR:Don't worry. I never am injured. For you see when I was born in 1977, it was foretold by a swallow, who heralded it in with a double rainbow and a new star in heaven!
{Schoolstar holds up some papers.}
SCHOOLSTAR:No, it says right here that you were born in 1976, and during a blizzard.
AIRSTAR:W-whatever. Off we go!
{They climb up. Cut to the attic Airstar and The Chuck are standing in it, their only source of light is the door from which they entered.}
AIRSTAR:It's real dark, here.
THE CHUCK:Meh. {He takes out a small plastic comb to comb his hair back.}
AIRSTAR:And what a smell...
{The door closes and things become pitch black except for their eyes.}
AIRSTAR:Uh-huh. Got any light, Mr.LeBouf? I mean The Chuck?
THE CHUCK:Meh! Sure thing, Mr.Ford! I mean Flyer.
{The Chuck gets out a flashlight.}
AIRSTAR:Don't call me Mr.Flyer. Call me...Georgia Flyer!
{He jumps onto a vine and swings around the attic while the "Indiana Jones" theme plays. He then lands and the music stops.}
THE CHUCK:Yeah that's great. Now where's the Silver Cup? All I can find is, (As hey says the following things, he lifts them up.} A Diet Brown can, a first generation iPod, this grody old blueberry lolipop, this gross peice of salami with Strong Bad's facemarks, the Holy Sky 486, a blood-stained Airstar shirt, Bob Dole,
BOB DOLE:Bob Dole...I, I need water...and f-{The Chuck drops him.}
THE CHUCK:This rat skeleton with the head missing, some comics you drew, this old mutating machine, that TV you broke, a trashcan with Strong Sad's faceprints and this useless Silver Cup!
{They both gasp at the same time. Then, Strong Bad and The Cheat come in with a lantern, which lights up the place better.}
STRONG BAD:There is no way you're getting that Silver Cup, Georgia! {He takes put a Nerf gun.}
THE CHEAT:Meh!
THE CHUCK:MEH!
THE CHEAT:MEEEEEEEEEEH!!!
{They both start fighting and biting eachother.}
AIRSTAR:Strong Bad, you can't seal this from me you jerk!
STRONG BAD:I can steal anything! Bikes, lunches, girlfriends, puppies, computers, elections, weddings, Haley's Comet, the list goes on!
AIRSTAR:Well now it's time to put you in your place! With an old-fashioned "You-Surrender-And-We-Win-Because-We-Are-Better-isode!"
STRONG BAD:Nope! We shall have the battle at the stick on Thursday.
AIRSTAR:It's a deal!
{Cut to Strong Bad an The Cheat in Coach Z's locker room sitting around the bench with Coach Z standing oddly by.}
COACH Z:Uhh...why can't you gors plan fellonies at your own hormes?
STRONG BAD:It's being used for Strong Mad's production of Doug The Dino:The Movie.
{Cut to Strong Mad with a scarf on in a director's chair in the basement with cameras all focused on a clay sculpture off Doug The Dino, with a toilet behind him that looks like it got ripped out of the ground.}
STRONG MAD:ADD MORE PASSION!
{Cut back to Strong Bad an The Cheat.}
COACH Z:Oh. Worl, make yerselves comfertable while I shower.
{Coach Z walks out of the room.}
THE CHEAT:Mehna mehmeh mehna meh mehla meh mehrna meh!
STRONG BAD:Yeah, yeah, and we can stuff it in his ear!
{They both high-five. Cut to Coach Z' shower room, where Airstar and The Chuck are sitting down planning their strategy while Coach Z stands oddly by.}
COACH Z:Uh...I kinda wanted to take a shower. Can't ya gors do this in the blormp?
AIRSTAR:The blimp's in the shop. Sorry.
COACH Z:Oh. See ya.
{He leaves.}
THE CHUCK:I say we mehna meh meh mehna merleh meh mehna mehk meh meh meh!
AIRSTAR:Yeah, and I could "ring" him!
{Cut to the stick. Strong Bad and The Cheat are on the right side of the screen while Airstar and The Chuck are on the left. Every other major character is in the background watching.}
STRONG BAD:Alright, i'm gonna get that Silver cup.
THE CHEAT:Meh!
AIRSTAR:No. You'll get doin' down town.
{Cut to Airstar at his Skypy, beat up with stitches and scars and suches.}
AIRSTAR:Well, that didn't work out.
{Zoom out to The Chuck in crutches.}
THE CHUCK:I here that.
AIRSTAR:The medical bill is outrageous, so we're gonna have to stoop to this.
{Airstar puts on a suit.}
AIRSTAR:DO YOU HAVE A JOB? DO YOU HAVE 199 DOLLARS? DO YOU WANT THREE GRAND MINIUMUM FOR YOR TRADE? YOU COULD BE APPROVED TODAY!
THE CHUCK:Dial 1-666-Central Today!
{A banner saying "Yes You Can" drops down with "This commercial has nothing to do with anything currently going on in the world, shut up." below it, in smaller letters.}
AIRSTAR:{Sigh.}
{A banner drops saying "Email Airstar at airstarflyer@hrwiki.org"}
