Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Assasssin
From Umcom
{We start at the Skypy. Nobody's there. Airstar sits down and clicks the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:Hi! How's it goin'?
Dear Airstar, Is there anyone you want to kill? I will kill them for you! It'll be 500 bucks, though! Makin' sure, Annony
AIRSTAR:Hmm...anyone I want to kill? Nope. Bye.
{Airstar gets up. 10 Seconds later he comes back with an Xtra Cold one in his hands. He sits down and puts his legs on the table and takes sips. Schoolstar walks in.}
SCHOOLSTAR:What are you doing?
AIRSTAR:Havin' a cold one while watching the computer screen. Why?
SCHOOLSTAR:Did you already answer that email?
AIRSTAR:Yep. I told her there's nobody I need dead. So...the email should be over.
SCHOOLSTAR:First of all, there's a 20 line rule, second of all, it's our 30th email!
AIRSTAR:So? We break the rule and skip the celebration. For the love of god, in emails 10 and 20, we were captured by madmen. I don't need to be captured again!
{A rope gets thrown around Airstar's foot. It pulls him off his stool and starts dragging him.}
AIRSTAR:Oh, great. See ya later!
SCHOOLSTAR:See ya.
{We cut to a shot of a house in the suburbs. Some text at the bottom reads, "Somewhere in South Carolina" a plane lands in the driveway. Other cars are parked there too. Cut to inside Joshua's room in the house. Airstar is chained to the wall. Joshua and all the other sysops are looking at him.}
JOSHUA:You have to follow the rules! 20 LINES OR MORE!!
AIRSTAR:Nevar!
JOSHUA:But what i'm saying right now is the 17th line! HA! three more lines! Now i'm gonna do something to get an 18th!
{Joshua takes out a NerfTm gun and shoots Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:Ow! Crap! 19th line. You better not say anything!
SUPER SAM:Oh, we will. Wait, we just did!
THATKIDSAM:Now this email follows that rule! 21 lines, baby! HA!
AIRSTAR:NOOO! But i'll use bad spelling and grammer! omg liek tlak to me!!!!1
{Super Sam shoots Airstar with a Good Grammernator gun.}
AIRSTAR:Oh, crap! Um, no Homestar characters! THE PAPER!
{The Paper starts to come down but Joshua takes out a shotgun and shoots it down.}
AIRSTAR:Um, i'll use bad language! Ha ha! Um, (GOSH) (DARNIT) (CRAP) (FUDGE) (FACE} {NICKEL) Ha!
EKUL:We 4Wimp'd you're Tre Butte! Oh, and Thatkidsam, get every Homestar character in here.
THATKIDSAM:Yes, sir.
{Thatkidsam walks outta the room.}
AIRSTAR:I'll act outta character! Um, is seven a food? I hate air. Blimps are dumb.
JOSHUA:That only applies to REAL characters!
{Thatkidsam comes back in with all the main characters.}
THATKIDSAM:Ta-da!!
AIRSTAR:No! I'm trying to fight the power! What the (HECK) are you doing?!
HOMESTAR:You can't destwoy me!
HOMSAR:AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I eat muffin dogs and kill waterski monkeys!
BUBS:You need to follow the rules! Right, gang?
COACH Z:Yorp!!
KOT:Uh-huh!
STRONG BAD:Definetly!
THE CHEAT:Meh!
AIRSTAR:NOOO!!! Wait, guys! I'll pay you five bucks later if you act out of character right now!
STRONG BAD:No way, man! We're gettin' paid alot more money to come all the way to South Carolina! We'll lose our pay if we join you! Holy crap!
KOT:Food all the time get some!
AIRSTAR:(CURSE) YOU ALL! (CURSE) YOU ALL TO (HAIDES)!
{Cut to Schoolstar in his depressing room reading a book titled, "I dunno, some book!"}
SCHOOLSTAR:Wow, this book is generic. Oh, {He puts down the book.} you cut to me. Um, I will tell you my deepest darkest secrets. Egh-
{The film stops. Then it starts up again.}
SCHOOLSTAR:And that's all my secrets. Shared on tape. This is a long email, now.
MIKECONTROL:{Offscreen} The film stopped an hour ago. We just started it again when you said "and".
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh. Well I guess it's for the best. That 4:03 connfession about Airstar's last girlfriend was ill-advised. I hope he doesn't watch this part of the email.In fact, burn this part of the email.
MIKECONTROL:Okay. I think this part of the tape is where you started talking.
SCHOOLSTAR:Okay, just make su-{The rest of this tape goes up in flames.}
{We cut to Homeschool in the blimp surrounded by a bunch of fire.}
HOMESCHOOL:People of the wiki!! CAN YOU HEAR ME!? I NEED HELP!! I'M GONNA DIE! THE BLIMP WENT UP IN FlAMES AND-
{Scene Missing! Cut to Airstar chained to the wall at Joshua's house.}
AIRSTAR:PLEASE LET ME GO!! I'll follow the rules!
JOSHUA:Okay.
{Joshua unchains Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:Thank you!
{Rainer comes in.}
RAINER:I'm back!
JOSHUA:Uh-huh.
RAINER:Fine. I'm just coming to tell Airstar that Schoolstar perished in a terrible blimp fire!
AIRSTAR:OH, THE HUMANITY!!
RAINER:We rescued The Chuck. The only things that survived the fire was The Skypy and Schoolstar's will tape.
AIRSTAR:Schoolstar's gone. {Starts sobbing.}
{Cut to Homestar's TeeBee room. Airstar, The Chuck, Homeschool Whiner, and Homestar are sitting on the couch.}
AIRSTAR:Thanks for letting us use you're TeeBee room, Homestar.
HOMESTAR:Well, he is my nephew.
HOMESCHOOL:And he's my son. {Sobs}
{Homestar puts in the video. Close up on the tv screen. The video cuts to a younger Schoolstar sitting on a different bed in the blimp. The bottom of the screen says SEPTEMBER 10 2001}
2001 SCHOOLSTAR:Hey, guys. If you're watching this, i'm dead. I'm going to the world trade center tommorow and I have a feeling something will happen to me. So, I made my will. And if I didn't die in New York, I assume I died in a tragic skiing accident in 2003. I leave my books to Homeschool, my loving father. I leave my toys from my childhood to my son. If i don't have a son by the time I die, I leave them to Homestar.
HOMESTAR:Yes!
2001 SCHOOLSTAR:I assume he just said "Yes!" when I said that. I leave my money to my son. Once again, If I don't have a son, I leave them to Airstar.
AIRSTAR:Wha-hoo!
2001 SCHOOLSTAR:Calm down, Airstar. I leave my room to The Chuck. Unless it perished in a fire, i'll just give him a FREE ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO HAWIAI! Unless I die after the expiration date of-
{Holds up ticket}
2001 SCHOOLSTAR:August 8th 2007 at 9:00 PM.
AIRSTAR:You still have 6 hours The Chuck! Go!
{The Chuck grabs the ticket and runs offscreen.}
THE CHUCK:Meh meh!
2001 SCHOOLSTAR:If I died after that date, you get this watch. {Holds up a watch} And all this stuff can be found underground at the backyard of the KOT'S castle, except the Ticket and the room. It's under a statue. Anyway, that's it. I want my funeral to be held the day after I die. 'Kay? Cool. Bye.
{The tape ends}
AIRSTAR:Well, let's go dig up that statue!
{Cut to the KOT'S backyard. There's a statue of a star and some bushes around. Airstar and the rest of the guys who watched the video have shovels in their hands.}
AIRSTAR:Well, let's get diggin'!
HOMESTAR:Okay!
AIRSTAR:Hold on! {He looks at the inscription on the statue.} This statue says "S is real 2001"
HOMESCHOOL:What does that mean?
AIRSTAR:I don't know. Anyway, let's get to diggin'!
{A black screen comes up that says "Later..." It cuts to them all surrounding a hole near the statue.}
AIRSTAR:We're done!
HOMESTAR:It was worth it! Look at those toys!
HOMESCHOOL:These books look fascinating!
HOMESTAR:I still wondew what "S is real 2001" means.
AIRSTAR:Yeah, TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT!!
{The paper comes down}
