Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Arms
From Umcom
WEDNESDAY, JULY 18, 2007
{Airstar clicks the email icon on his desktop.}
AIRSTAR:After a while, email becomes stale! But now i'm gonna pick it up and wash it in a pale!
Dear Airstar, Why did Schoolstar chew off you're arms? It was gross! You gotta go stop him! Insert witty comment here, Chwoka
AIRSTAR:Whatcha talkin' bit, Choker? He may of bit my arms off when I was a baby, but he hasn't bite anything off since the time he bite off the WB's originality! In fact, egh-AHHH!
{Airstar turns around to see Schoolstar chewing on his leg.}
AIRSTAR:What are you doing!?
{Airstar shakes him off.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Biting you're leg cause i'm hungry.
AIRSTAR:Then eat something besides my leg!
SCHOOLSTAR:There's nothin' in the cooler!
AIRSTAR:There isn't? THE CHUCK!
THE CHUCK:Meh?
AIRSTAR:Land this train at a grocery store!
THE CHUCK:You called it a train again!
AIRSTAR:Dang it! Blimp!
{We cut to outside the blimp. It lands at price style. The gang walk in to the grocery store.}
AIRSTAR:Now, we can't stay down here long. I got land-phobia. Remember when we were in a hole? That was weird. Now we need Cheat food, Nephew food,cousin food and Diet Coke. Remember, the diet coke.
{Strong bad and Water Bad walk by.}
STRONG BAD:Why look, it's that weirdo from March 2006's BEST NOTQUITE EMAIL EVER!
WATER BAD:Yeah. I'll glonk him in the head with this tennis racket i'm holding.
AIRSTAR:Let's go.
{They run out of the store.}
STRONG BAD:Yeah, you better run!
{Cut to outside the grocery store. Airstar and the gang are walking into the blimp. Cut to inside.}
AIRSTAR:We're gonna have to go to Bubs's to get the groceries.
HOMESCHOOL:Weren't you kicked out of Bubs's stand for stealing an engine? Not to mention the other times you've done stupid stuff.
{Airstar starts thinking. The screen goes into a flash back sequence}
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Airstar is talking to Bubs.}
AIRSTAR FLYER: You cheapskate! That engine is only fifty bucks on blimpflyer.not!
BUBS: I'm not gonna lie to ya. This is a better engine.
AIRSTAR FLYER: No it's not! I know my blimp parts!
BUBS: Wow, you're hard to scam. Not like Homestar.
AIRSTAR FLYER: Homestar's an idiot, unlike me.
BUBS: Which is why I'm about to scam him.
{Bubs leaves the stand.}
AIRSTAR FLYER: Blimp engine, free for the taking. Hee hee!
{Airstar takes the engine and runs off. Cut to the computer room.}
AIRSTAR:Yeah we've done alot of stupid things. Nowi'm gonna play them back in my head like a bad sitcom whose to lazy to come up with a fresh plot.
{He starts thinking again}
{Cut to Airstar and The Chuck and Schoolstar waiting at Homestar's door. Homestar pops back out from the house.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You aren't gone yet?
AIRSTAR FLYER: Nope.
THE CHUCK: Why aren't we gone yet?
AIRSTAR FLYER: I dunno.
THE CHUCK: Okay then!
{The Chuck takes a lick out of his lollipop. Cut to Schoolstar in the blimp.}
AIRSTAR FLYER: {offscreen} I got the engine!
SCHOOLSTAR SWIGGLE: Really?
{Cut to the entire view of the computer room.}
AIRSTAR FLYER: Yeah. Got it from Bubs. Maybe with this we can go fast. Real fast!
SCHOOLSTAR SWIGGLE: Yeah, maybe. Just don't break the blimp again.
AIRSTAR FLYER: Yeah yeah. Let's get this thing installed!
{Airstar runs offscreen.}
SCHOOLSTAR SWIGGLE: The Chuck, ready to fix the blimp again?
{The Chuck walks in.}
THE CHUCK: Yeah!
{An explosion is heard. Airstar runs back in. He is on fire.}
AIRSTAR FLYER: Holy crap get it off! GET IT OFF!
{The Chuck gets a hose from offscreen and hoses down Airstar.}
AIRSTAR FLYER: Thanks The Chuck. Now I need to peel off the dead skin.
{Cut to a different scene of Airstar in the blimp. Cut to a view of the whole computer room. Airstar stands up and looks at the camera.}
AIRSTAR FLYER: Let's just be glad she can't fly, or else she might be here.
{The Chuck walks in.}
THE CHUCK: Silly Airstar! She can fly!
AIRSTAR FLYER: Oh, crap.
{Darknight Creeper runs in.}
DARKNIGHT CREEPER: Hello, Airstar.
AIRSTAR FLYER: Darknight Creeper.
THE CHUCK: The Chuck!
AIRSTAR FLYER: You ruined the moment! Let's just get to the fight.
{Cut to Li'l Airstar talking to his parents in the blimp.}
LIL' AIRSTAR:Daddy, i want a pet.
OXYGENSTAR:No!
{Airstar jumps out of the blimp}
BREATHSTAR:Oh noes!
{Cut to Airstar falling down. He lands on ground}
{The Chuck comes onscreen.}
LIL'AIRSTAR:Wah! Who are you?
LIL'THE CHUCK:I don't have a name. Name me!
LIL' AIRSTAR:Um, The......Chuck? Yeah, The Chuck.
LIL' THE CHUCK:Yay! I'm the Chuck and i like lolipops.
LIL'AIRSTAR:Do you wanna come in my blimp?
LIL'THE CHUCK:Sure!
{They walk off}
LIL' THE CHUCK:{Offscreen} What's a blimp.......?
{We cut to a jail cell. Airstar and the gang are sleeping on the floor. The Skypy is nearby}
{Airstar wakes up.}
AIRSTAR:Ugg....ut-oh. I'm in a jail cell! My land-phobia is building up!
{A guard comes up to the jail cell.}
GUARD:Land phobia? Were in a plane!
{Cut to Airstar on a battle feild.}
A VOICE:{From Airstar's walkie talkie} Dude! C'mere! I have a plan!
{Airstar starts to run away. His leg gets grabbed by a dark Stinkoman. Airstar steps on the Stinkoclone's face and runs to a hole in the ground where Darktower is. He looks like a dark 1-Up guy.}
AIRSTAR:What is it Darktower?
DARKTOWER:I have a bomb that will destroy those stupid freakin' clone-racists. {He removes a sheet from the back of the room. Under it is a huge bomb.}
AIRSTAR:Ut-oh. Maybe you've gone insane.
DARKTOWER:THAT'S NOT TRUE! I WILL DESTROY THEM!!!! MU HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
{Cut to a hole that Airstar and Darktower are in.}
AIRSTAR:Wait a minute...why am I in a hole?! I'm Airstar Flyer! To a battle plane!
{Cut to inside a plane}
AIRSTAR:So...wassup?
DARKTOWER:Were goin' to battle some...{Holds up a piece of scratch paper}....Cheats?
AIRSTAR:I don't have a GameCube!
DARKTOWER:{Puts paper down}No,like,The Cheats!
AIRSTAR:So...no GameCube? Or Xbox? Xbox 360? Anything?!
DARKTOWER:N-O-P-E.
AIRSTAR:Aw man! So I guess we'll battle these..."Cheats"
DARKTOWER:Yes..."Cheats"
AIRSTAR:Um,yo!
{We cut to Airstar at his Skypy checking an email.}
AIRSTAR:Hmmm...i'm not exactly sure. What is that show that I used to like? It starred Levert Burtmore....and Hot Tub T...
{You hear a faint "Aaaahh!"}
AIRSTAR:Lem Sportsinterviews, Cherry Greg was the director...Hmmm...
{The Chuck lands on Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:Uhhh!
THE CHUCK:It's called "KEensais"
AIRSTAR:Th-th-th-th-thanks. The Chuuu....uck. Agg!
{The Chuck gets off of him}
AIRSTAR:Anyway, that show was great. The main character worked at a bowling alley and..
{Schoolstar lands on him}
AIRSTAR:AGGHHLAHAGGG! What's.....going...on? AGHGHH!
{Cut to a court. The jury is a buncha Homestar characters and Homestar is the judge. Strong Bad is at one table with The Cheat as his lawyer. The Announcer is Airstar's lawyer.}
HOMESTAR:Did you copy Stwong Bad Airface?
AIRSTAR:{Stands up} I plead the fifth.
HOMESTAR:The fif?
AIRSTAR:Are you really a judge?
HOMESTAR:Ovewwuled!
AIRSTAR:What?!
{Mustachio Homestar stands up in the court.}
MUSTACHIO HOMESTAR:I object!
HOMESTAR:The juwy has spoken! Guilty! Innocent! Flow chawt! I plead a 15 minute wecces! Sustained! {He bonks his head with the mallet. Cut back to the blimp.}
AIRSTAR:That was an unfair trial!
{Cut to a buncha Airstars in the computer room. A 28 year old Airstar warps right next to him. Then a 15 year old, then a 54 year old, then a 20 year old, then a 31 year old, then a 47 year old, until a bunch of random aged Airstars warp all over the place. Then 2007 Airstar gets on the desk and stands up.}
2007 AIRSTAR:SHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!
{Everybody goes quiet.}
2007 AIRSTAR:Why is everyone here?
ALL TIME TRAVELELERS EXCEPT 2007 AIRSTAR:To see my first email.
2007 AIRSTAR:And now do you're time machines work?
ALL TIME TRAVELERS EXCEPT 2007 AIRSTAR:Yes.
2007 AIRSTAR:Let's all time travel to February 21, 2007 alright?
ALL TIME TRAVELERS EXCEPT 2007 AIRSTAR:Ok.
{They all warp out. Cut to Airstar's 2007 computer room. Schoolstar is still on his computer. All the time travelers warp in, crushing Schoolstar.}
2007 AIRSTAR:Ok. Now are they still working?
ALL TIME TRAVELERS EXCEPT 2007 AIRSTAR:No.
2007 AIRSTAR:Oh, crap. I got 50 Airstars in my blimp.
{The Chuck comes in and faints.}
{Cut to Airstar and Schoolstar in the cockpit.}
2007 AIRSTAR:Oh my god.
AIRSTAR:Any progress?
SCHOOLSTAR:No. We should be crashing ri-
{Cut to a wide shot of the blimp. It crashes in the feild behind the feild, making a huge hole. The screen goes black. Then the words, "2 hours later" come up on the screen. Fade to Airstar and The Chuck at the bottom of the blimp's hole.}
AIRSTAR:Ugg...woah. The blimp's right above us.
THE CHUCK:Yeah, but it's impossible to push that out of the way.
AIRSTAR:Oh yeah?
{Airstar jumps up at the blimp, but just hits it hard and falls down.}
{Cut to Airstar checking an email with red blotches on his back.}
AIRSTAR:Well those blotches are from strangling people that watch our show all day. {Pause} ....Do'h! I mean, from...chopping up chcikens all day. Yeah. Heh heh. But they are getting bigger. I should consult the best doctor in the room. Dr.T-doggin! SCHOOLSTAR!
SCHOOLSTAR:{Offscreen} YEAH!?
AIRSTAR:LAND THIS AT FCUSA HOSPITAL!
{Cut to Airstar talking to The Chuck.}
AIRSTAR:Land the blimp at The KOT's castle.
THE CHUCK:Okay.
{Cut to the Kot's castle. The blimp lands right next to it. Cut to closeup of Airstar and The Chuck walking out of the blimp.}
THE CHUCK:Am I coming?
AIRSTAR:No. I must climb this castle alone.
THE CHUCK:But there's a door right there.
AIRSTAR:I must go.
{Cut to Airstar climbing up the castle. Heavy rock music plays in the background.}
NARARATOR:Airstar was climbing, up, up, and away. It was dificult, and unneccasary. 'Cause there was a door. But that would make it less exciting. Shut up.
{Airstar is at the Top of the castle. The three keepers of Trogdor and the KOT are up there with torches.}
{Cut to Airstar and Airjet in Airjet's jet.}
AIRJET':Yep. Here comes Trainstar Squigblast. What a loser. Sometimes, I spit on him for being alive.
AIRSTAR:I do that to his grandpa all the time!
AIRJET:{Girly scream} AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AIRSTAR:{Girly scream} AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
CHUCKBALL:That girly scream was really embarassing.
{Cut to Airstar checking an email.}
AIRSTAR:Whatcha talkin' bit, Choker? He may of bit my arms off when I was a baby, but he hasn't bite anything off since the time he bite off the WB's originality! In fact, egh-AHHH!
{Airstar turns around to see Schoolstar chewing on his leg.}
AIRSTAR:What are you doing!?
{Airstar shakes him off.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Biting you're leg cause i'm hungry.
AIRSTAR:Then eat something besides my leg!
SCHOOLSTAR:There's nothin' in the cooler!
AIRSTAR:There isn't? THE CHUCK!
{It cuts back to Airstar and the gang in the blimp.}
AIRSTAR:We've done some pretty stupid things over the last few years. But we still need groceries. Who wants to volunteer to go get them from Bubs's so he doesn't attack me?
SCHOOLSTAR:I'll do it. Me and Bubs did connect at one point.
AIRSTAR:Fine. The Chuck? You wanna go?
THE CHUCK:Are you seriuos? No! He's a loser!
AIRSTAR:Good point. Well folks, tune in next time for our 2 year anniversary on July 21. See ya!
{The paper comes down.}
