Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/An obvious parody

From Umcom

{We start with Airstar (Who doesn't have a moustache anymoe besides the fact he hasn't got Stacy yet.) The Chuck and Schoolstar sitting in lawn chairs next to Bubs and Coach Z sitting in lawn chairs. His blimp is parked behind them. If you haven't already, read email 65.}

AIRSTAR:Wow. July 4th. The Fourth of July. Independence Day. {Holds up Cold One.} Here's to 224 years of freedom!

BUBS:Don't you mean 232?

AIRSTAR:Nope. We lost our freedom after Bush was inaugurated. Anyway, the fireworks are going to be amazing!

SCHOOLSTAR:I'm kinda suprised you're enjoying yourself, Airstar. I mean, your Grandfather and sister and future girlfriend were kidnapped four days ago!

AIRSTAR:What? Oh, right. Continuity. Look, can't we just enjoy the Fourth? Geez....i'd like not to think about that.

THE CHUCK:You're right. So, who's operating the fireworks this year?

AIRSTAR:Stevie Wonder.

{Everyone except Airstar's eyes open wide.}

AIRSTAR:What? He had cool sunglasses so I hired him.

{A "Black Cheat" fire work lands on and explodes on them. Cut to a black and white space scene.}

OVERVOICE:You're entering a realm which is awesome, and hilarious.

{A door spins around in the space.}

OVERVOICE:A realm of knowledge, character and blimps. You're entering, The Airstar Zone.

{"The Airstar Zone" appears in scary lettering. Cut to a black and white scene of Airstar at his Cloudson.}

OVERVOICE:Airstar Leo Flyer, age 31. He's about to recieve a seemingly coincidental email.

{The screen pans to the other side of the room. Rod Serling walks in with a cigarette in hand.}

ROD SERLING:But this email is no ordinary email. It may seem like a joke at first. Or perhaps spam. He will find out after he gets copied and pasted, into the Twilight Zone.

{He leaves. Pans back to Airstar at his computer. He clicks on the email icon.}

AIRSTAR:Email knows how to PAAARTAY! ON YOUR BIIIIRTHDAY! Oi....

Hey Airstar,
I just ran into a person who looked just like
you, only with a goatee! Isn't that weird?!?!?
From oowhS

AIRSTAR:That is weird. I don't think I have any Evil physcopathic ghost robot viking Nazi twin clone brothers. I mean I have Planesar and...{Sad sigh} my kidnapped sister Oxy. Try to get his adress for me, see if I can't meet him. Sincerely, Airstar. And send!

{Cut to some girl looking at his email.}

OOWHS:I shall find out for the young man. I shall!

{Cut to Airstar on his couch in the TV room, waiting.}

AIRSTAR:She should call soon. She should call soon.....

{The phone rings. He gets up and rushes to the right wall where the phone is. He picks it up.}

AIRSTAR:Hello?

OOWHS:Hello. This is Oowhs. That goateed Airstar-man lives underground.

AIRSTAR:Underground?

OOWHS:Yes. In a manhole in the Superdude Mafia Headquarters.

AIRSTAR:The ancient rotting remains of the Superdude HQ, eh?

OOWHS:Uhh...it's only been vacant for a month and seven days.

AIRSTAR:Thanks, goodbye.

{He hangs up.}

AIRSTAR:WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE OLD SUPERDUDE MAFIA HQ!?

{Schoolstar comes in.}

SCHOOLSTAR:I'll come. It sounds fun.

{The Chuck comes in.}

THE CHUCK:I'll go anywhere because The Cheat is FREAKIN' ME OUT, MAN!

{The Cheat comes in, foaming at the mouth, holding up a book called "Armed Crazyjuice" with beating eyes.}

THE CHEAT:MEEEEHEHHEHEHEHHEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!

{They all run out. Cut to a damaged and dusty Superdude Mafia HQ. Cut to Airstar and the other two walking into the entrance and seeing cobwebs and dust. A poster on the wall has a picture of two iPhones dancing and "THE DANCING IPHONES OF CHARLETRON STREET-COMING MAY TWENTY-HUNDRED AND EIGHT!". There's also a tennis racket on the ground that says "En français Les Français ouvrent le Tennis" and a gavel, as well as a peice of paper.}

AIRSTAR:Man, look at all this ancient May 2008 stuff. {Holds up tennis racket.} This is a Tennis racket used in May 2008's French Open, this {Holds up gavel.} was the gavel that the California Supreme Court used to rule the Gay Marriage Ban unconstitutional on May 15th, this {Holds up paper} says that the Mars Lander Pheonix is scheduled to land on May 25th.

THE CHUCK:Amazing! I guess...where's that manhole?

{They keep walking. They go upstairs and see an old jail cell.}

AIRSTAR:That's the Jail Cell I was in. Anyway, here's the manhole!

{They open the manhole and all slide down. they get spat out the end, where they see the Leugue Of Airstar Haters are sitting at the fire.}

BUBS:Look who's here. Do you gots the money?

AIRSTAR:AHHH! N-n-no...

{They pull out their guns.}

AIRSTAR:Don't shoot!

DARKNIGHT:Yeah, don't. Guns down.

{They all put their guns down.}

AIRSTAR:Uhh...some girl told me this is where Goatee Airstar lives.

DARKNIGHT:Oh, yeah. His name is Reylf Ratsria.

{Reylf Ratsria except with a goatee this time comes out.}

REYLF:I grew a cool Goatee!

GITMO:NOW GET US THE MONEY SOON OR DIEEEE!

AIRSTAR:What is this place?

DARKNIGHT:This is the League Of Airstar Haters, or LOAH. And your sister, grandpa and love interest is in a secret room somewhere, only being fed three times a week. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays.

AIRSTAR:OH NO! YOU MONSTER WOMAN! How do you expect me to get two million bucks?

STRONG BAD:Find a way, Airstar.

AIRSTAR:Strong Bad? You helped me win the big war!

STRONG BAD:Only because Superdude was being a jerk.

SUPERDUDE:Hey!

AIRSTAR:Wait, Superstar Hoopster?

SUPERSTAR HOOPSTER:You moved out of my house! THAT MAD ME ANGRY!

AIRSTAR:I have land-phobia!

EVIL GHOST:Phfff...you take heavy madication for that. You barely have it anymore!

EVIL 1-UP:Yeah!

AIRSTAR:I-Up's evil version? Homestar's evil version? Homsar's Evil Version?

EVIL HOMESTAR:Yup! We've hated you since Season 2.

WATER BAD:We all hate you.

TAKS TEST:I hate him more!

HU JIANTO:He escaped my factories! NOBODY ESCAPES! NOBODY!! AHAHAHAGGAGAGAGAAXAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHQAHAHJGAAGHAH!

GARBACHOV:SILENCE!!!!@42$#@%#6%$&^%*&^&89&)(*7*(65^&44@!!!!!

{Everyone freezes.}

AIRSTAR:Uhh...i'll try to get the money.

DARKNIGHT:Yeah. You will.

BUBS:Now get outta here!

{They climb a ladder back to the manhole.}

THE CHUCK:That was scary.

{Homestar comes in with a dent in his upper lip. Close up of him.}

HOMESTAR:Hey, guys! I got nose reduction surgery!

{Pan to the other three. They all have pig noses.}

HOMESTAR:What?

AIRSTAR:Hey look at the freak! HA HA H AHGHA AHANAANAGA! HA!

HOMESTAR:NOOOO!!

ROD SERLING:{Offscreen} Homestar Michael Runner, age 32. He thought he had too big of a nose, and got it reducted. But then, him and his nose went into....The Twilight Zone.

{Cut to Airstar talking to his parents in the computer room. Everybody except Homestar has pig noses from now on, until email 67.}

AIRSTAR:Mom, dad. Thanks for getting all the other relatives to leave.

BREATHSTAR:Well, we couldn't get Homestar to leave.

{Homestar comes in with only a towel on.}

HOMESTAR:I took a shower in your shower if that's okay.

AIRSTAR:No, that's not okay, freak nose.

HOMESTAR:Awww...

{He leaves.}

AIRSTAR:But how am I going to come up with two million dollars?

BREATHSTAR:Well, you could work extra hard at your job, Airyface.

AIRSTAR:Egh-

{Homestar pops in.}

HOMESTAR:HA!

{Airstar walks up to him and kicks him.}

HOMESTAR:Aughh...

{He leaves. Airstar sits back down.}

AIRSTAR:I can't make that much money from that in time! Jon said it would take me 44 years of working there to get a million bucks, and that's after the Writer's Strike. Jon makes 2 million dollars every two years from his show.

OXYGENSTAR:You could burn four houses down for insurance money!

AIRSTAR:Dad, I already got arrested for insurance fraud, I don't need to again.

BREATHSTAR:This is a big problem. I want my children back...{Cries}

OXYGENSTAR:There, there.

AIRSTAR:Oi...I better read this book.

{He picks up "Armed Crazyjuice" and gets his reading glasses. They drop on the ground and break.}

AIRSTAR:It's not fair! It's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR!!

{He sits down and cries.}

AIRSTAR:I want Stacy, and to a lesser extent, my brother and sister nad grandpa back! {Sobs}

{Rod Serling comes in.}

ROD SERLING:The conclusion is inclunclusive. Because when you see a guy that looks like you, it changes your day.

{He leaves. The paper comes down.}

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