Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/30
From Umcom
MONDAY, APRIL 16, 2007
AIRSTAR:Remember this day, remember this email!
Hey You! Is there anyone you want to kill? Anyone? And how would you like them dead? Because I am a paid assassin! I'll kill people for the right price. before they kill you, Dennis Dunjinman
AIRSTAR:Well, actauly, there is the Strongbadian army. But there's like, 80 of them. I'd have to go to The King of Town.
{Airstar turns around. Cut to a wide shot.}
AIRSTAR:The Chuck!
{The Chuck rushes in.}
THE CHUCK:Meh?
AIRSTAR:Land the blimp at The KOT's castle.
THE CHUCK:Okay.
{Cut to the Kot's castle. The blimp lands right next to it. Cut to closeup of Airstar and The Chuck walking out of the blimp.}
THE CHUCK:Am I coming?
AIRSTAR:No. I must climb this castle alone.
THE CHUCK:But there's a door right there.
AIRSTAR:I must go.
{Cut to Airstar climbing up the castle. Heavy rock music plays in the background.}
NARARATOR:Airstar was climbing, up, up, and away. It was dificult, and unneccasary. 'Cause there was a door. But that would make it less exciting. Shut up.
{Airstar is at the Top of the castle. The three keepers of Trogdor and the KOT are up there with torches.}
MONK 1:We've been expecting you, Mr.Flyer.
AIRSTAR:How?
{The monks look at each other.}
MONK 2:Um, we heard it from, the news. Now come!
AIRSTAR:Y'know, Trogdor died over 1,000 years ago.
MONK 3:But he's a legend! That...equals...the circumfrence of the circle!
AIRSTAR:Which is 0.
MONK 3:Shut up, Airstar! You don't know math! Now come!
{They walk into the castle. Cut to a room with a table in it. The monks,the KOT, and Airstar are sitting at it.}
AIRSTAR:We need to go to war with the Strongbadian army! They're a threat to FCUSA!
MONK 1:But we have Monday off! We can't go to war! It breaks tradition!
AIRSTAR:THEY'RE THREATING US WITH WATER BALLOONS AND SLAVERY! We protect our town before our traditions!
MONK 4:We will have to consult the Marzipan.
MONK 2:Yeah. Let's go 3 keepers!
{Cut to the 3 keepers talking to Marzipan}
MONK 1:So...what's up?
MONK 2:Anything goin' on?
MONK 3:Like, wars?
MONK 4:Or, Disturbia?
MARZIPAN:Nope. No wars.
MONK 3:Can we have...
MONK 2:Like have,
MONK 1:Ya know,
MONK 4:Like, a war? Against Strong...
MONK 2:Badians.
MONK 1:Yeah...them.
MONK 3:Yeah.
MONK 4:Sorta.
MARZIPAN:Sure, I guess.
MONK 2:Cool. Great.
MONK 1:Yeah. Awesome.
MONK 3:Yeah really-really appreciate it.
MONK 4:Yeah, alot.
MONK 1:Cool.
{Cut back to the castle. The three keepers of Trogdor are talking with Airstar again.}
MONK 4:The Marzipan has said yes. But no violence!!
AIRSTAR:So, no war then?
MONK 2:Yeah, basically. In the MOOFER MOOFER THE DAWGS GOT SCHNIZZLED!
AIRSTAR:Noooo.
{Cut to Airstar looking out the window in his blimp.}
THE CHCUK:Airstar? What the freak are you doin' inebriated jerksicle?
AIRSTAR:I'm worried that FCUSA will be destroyed by the StrongBadains and Jay Leno jokes. What'll I do?
THE CHUCK:Go to war anyway!
AIRSTAR:You're right Chucksie! The important thing is that! We need about 1 billion schallion tillion caffalion shappashapdoo...illion, soldiers.
THE CHUCK:How about 30?
AIRSTAR:Uh...fine.
{Cut to the feild bordering StrongBadia. 80 StrongBadians are on the left, and 30 are on the right.}
AIRSTAR:FCUSAIANS WHAT S YOU'RE PROFFESSION?!
FCUSAIANS:HUUH!
{They start fighting. The FCUSAs are pushing the StrongBadians away. Until they die somehow. We cut Airstar and Strong Bad in the feild}
AIRSTAR:We beated you fair and also square. Now you can't attack. And where's my prize?
STRONG BAD:Alright. Here's 35 bucks.
{He hands him 35 bucks}
AIRSTAR:Thanks.
{Cut back to the Skypy. Airstar sits down.}
AIRSTAR:Well, we won. I guess. See ya!
{The paper comes down}
[edit] Fun Facts
This entire email is a parody of the movie "300".
Disturbia is a 2007 movie and song.
You should know who Jay Leno is by now.
