Nebulites Attack!
From Umcom
{Cut to a dark room with The KOT and The Poopsmith assisting a creature hidden by the dark. A single lightbulb lights the room up. The bottom of the screen says "RESTRICTED AREA, CHIMENDEZ DESERT, FCUSA, GEORGIA.}
CREATURE:{Painfully} Uh, uh, uh, uh, AGHHHHH!!
THE KING OF TOWN:Come on, you can do it!
CREATURE:AGGHGHGHGHGHGGAAAA!!!
{A squirting noise is heard.}
CREATURE:Aaahh...
THE KING OF TOWN:There you go. Congratulations. You had your babies.
{The camera pans to the right, revealing graffiti that says "NEB-1". It then pans to Nebulon sitting on a hospital bad with hundreds of tiny green eggs.}
NEBULON:They're beatiful.
THE KING OF TOWN:I can see there style is the same as yours. Heh heh. When will they hatch?
NEBULON:Two hours. It'll take them 20-30 years to look like me, though. I was hatched in 1968 m'self.
THE KING OF TOWN:Where do you come from?
NEBULON:Our race use to come from a Nebula called the Crab Nebula. But then, for reasons unknown, we relocated to Ganymede, one of Jupiter's moons. We currently live under it's surface. It has a Saltwater Ocean that we build our huts on. We call the Ocean, Sntghj Ofertnse, or "Good Ocean". Our Nebulites are raised in nests there.
THE KING OF TOWN:{Yawns.} What? You lost me at "race". I started thinkin' about how delicous you're babies look.
NEBULON:Stay away from them! You glutton.
THE KING OF TOWN:Also, how are YOU having a baby? Aren't you a male?
NEBULON:Yes, but in my race both parents can have offspring.
THE KING OF TOWN:I see. Poopsmith, come.
{They leave the room and lock the door. The door says "NOT ALIEN"}
THE KING OF TOWN:Poopsmith, I want to make it your duty to-
{You hear somebody giggling.}
THE KING OF TOWN:Oh, for the love of god...{He takes out a gun and shoots that guy. For some reason, he stops giggling.] Now, I want you to protect this room from intruders. We can;t have anybody going in here and finding out the truth about Extraterrestrials. His eggs hatch in 1 and a half hours. Good luck.
{He walks over to a guarded door and Poopertroopers let him past four doors until he gets to the final door and walks out into the desert. The area is protected by a fence, and alo of security and planes are around. The KOT walks past the fence, and past a sign that says "AREA 87 RESTRICTED AREA AUTHORIZED ACCESS ONLY TRESSPASSERS WILL BE SHOT AND HAD FOR DINNER. MAYBE WITH SOME SALT, I DON'T KNOW. MY WIFE SAYS I ALWAYS HAVE TO MUCH SALT. I SAY THAT'S BULL. I HAVE TOO MUCH OF HER. HEH. GET IT?" Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat playing Texas Hold 'Em at the table in the kitchen.}
STRONG BAD:Well, you win again. And by win again, I mean, I win again, because I am awesomer and more valuable.
THE CHEAT:Mehnameht meh...
STRONG BAD:Who are you calling arrogant? It's not like I helped discovered a new planet or something. And if I did, it would probably have awesome lady rock star dancers. Except, they would be aliens with seven...lips. Aliens always have extra something right? Or maybe just less something. Like one eye, or arm. Anyway, my point is that you suck.
THE CHEAT:MEHNA MEH MEH!
{The Cheat throws cards in his face and leaves.}
STRONG BAD:Hey! You're gonna pay for that! Man...
{The UNO card machine bounces over to Strong Bad.}
UNO MACHINE:Hey, Mr.Bad! I'm the UNO. I'm still on your side!
STRONG BAD:Go away, Uno. I didn't forget that Slumber Party you threw.
UNO MACHINE:Aww...
STRONG BAD:The Cheat! {The ground starts rumbling.} Woahahahahahhaahah! WOAH!
{Cut to Homestar in the shower.}
HOMESTAR:Marzipan, I need-{The ground starts shaking.} WOAHAHHAHA! {He slips and falls.} Ooh!
{Cut to Marzipan knitting a sweater in her living room.}
MARZIPAN:This is gonna be the best sweater since-
HOMESTAR:{Offscreen.} Marzipan, I need-{The ground starts shaking.}
MARZIPAN:Woahahahhahhahha!
{Cut to Pom-Pom at Bubs' Stand.}
POM-POM:{Bubbling.}
BUBS:Well, Pommy, I got che-
{The ground starts shaking.}
BUBS:WOAHAHHA!
POM-POM:{BUBBLING}
{Cut to Nebulon's babies or, "Nebulites" hatching and running out of the room through the crack under the door.}
NEBULON:NO! They'll kill everybody if they are not put in their nest!
{Cut to wide shot of Area 87. It shakes and shakes until Nebulites, Nebulon, Pooper Troopers, Mutants and Experimental creatures run everywhere out of there, and the ground starts shaking. Cut to Homsar waddling throughout the field.}
HOMSAR:AHAHHAHHA! I'm better than the speakers I represent!
{The Nebulites swarm on him and eat at his flesh until they're done and they go away, revealing Homsar's skeleton. Cut to Strong Bad, Marzipan and Homestar with his towel on outside their houses watching.}
MARZIPAN:What are those tiny green bug-like things?
STRONG BAD:I don't know, but whatever they are they just ate Homsar! Quick! Everybody get in my car!
{Strong Bad jumps in his Gremlin, and so do all the main characters except Homsar, a few mutants from Area 87, Nebulon, and some Secondary characters.}
STRONG BAD:Wow, I didn't know that my car could hold so much.
{Nebulites jump up on the Gremlin.}
'STRONG BAD:Crap!
{He starts driving and all the Nebulites fly off.}
HOMESTAR:Where are we going?
STRONG BAD:Somewhere safer. Like...
HOMESTAR:I say we go to Blubb-O's! There's food!
STRONG BAD:No, we need a place with less windows and more protection and food. I know! KOT High School!
{Everybody mumbles in agreement.}
STRONG BAD:Yee-ha!
{Cut to The Gremlin pulling up to KOT High School and running in. Everybody gets in except for Strong Sad, who gets caught by The Nebulites.}
STRONG SAD:NOOO!
{They swarm all over him.}
COACH Z:I'll save you Strange Saad!
{Coach Z jumps in and pulls Strong Sad out. Strong Sad is now mutilated, with bite wounds to the stomach, back, legs, soolnds, thighs, ribs and hands. Two of his fingers are missing, and the skin on his head is flapping in the breeze. He's still alive though. Coahc Z manages to pull him in there and shut the door.}
COACH Z:Few...that was a clorse one, eh Strong Sad?
STRONG SAD:AHHHHHHHH! THE PAIN IS BEYOND AGONIZING! JUST KILL ME RIGHT NOW!
COACH Z:You're welcome, bordy. You're welcome.
STRONG BAD:Wait a minute, there's weird mutants and an alien here. Where did you guys come from?
NEBULON:Area 87. We escaped when the Nebulites escaped. Those things are my babies. They try to eat people because they're not mature enough to know not to do that.
HOMESTAR:Couldn't you reason with them? I mean, you're their dad.
NEBULON:I can't. It's their nature. Usually they are kept in a nest so they don't try to eat humans. Our race use to come from a Nebula called the Crab Nebula. But then, for reasons unknown, we relocated to Ganymede, one of Jupiter's moons. We currently live under it's surface. It has a Saltwater Ocean that we build our huts on. We call the Ocean, Sntghj Ofertnse, or "Good Ocean". Anyway, we need to hide from these Nebulites.
STRONG BAD:Can they know through concrete?
NEBULON:No.
STRONG BAD:Oh thank god. So what's with the freaks from Area 87?
{Pan to a white woman with a snake-like thing growing out her bellybutton. The snake thing has no eyes and just a sucker.}
WOMAN:My name is Lois, and this Belly Ameba is called Courtney.
ALL ELSE:{Disgusted noises.}
{Pan to a black man with a brown mask that has spikes and a mouthole.}
BLACK MAN:My name is Principal Freakface. I use to be the principal of this High School before my mutation when they carried me in an unmarked truck to Area 87. I hereby reinstate myself as principal!
{Pan to a teenage girl with an elf hat that has a third arm coming out of it.}
ELF ARM:My name's Madison. I have a third arm growing out of my head, so I put a cool elf hat on there.
{Pan to a baby giraffe with a robotic STOP sign glued to it's face.}
STOP GIRAFFE:{Robotic voice} MY NAME IS STOP SIGN-BOT. I TELL PEOPLE WHEN TO STOP. I HOPE THIS GIRAFFE IS NOT SUFFOCATING.
{Pan to Nebulon.}
NEBULON:So, those are the mutants. See? Area 87 scientists have created horrible ugly things only because they can. Anyway, we need to just stay in her and think of a plan. Who else is a scientist?
STRONG BAD:Strong Sad is a nerdy scientist type. He could help.
STRONG SAD:OH GOD!! PLEASE JUST STICK A KNIFE IN MY HEART MAN! PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!!
NEBULON:I'm appointing you to my scientific team.
STRONG SAD:NOOO!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL ME! I CAN'T FEEL MY BLOOD!!
STRONG BADHe's obviously very excited. Now we gotta milk this cow. And by "Milk this cow" I mean protect ourselves from the horrible Nebulites.
BUBS:I say we sacrifice somebody every once and a while!
COACH Z:Why?
BUBS:So that they don't get too angry. Also, because it's fun to watch. But mostly the angry thing.
MARZIPAN:I don't think we should sacrifice anyone!
{Principal Freakface walks to his office, and the intercom comes on.}
INTERCOM PRINCIPAL FREAKFACE:I am now going to only speak through this intercom. So, put this intercom on a pole and then put it on wheels.
{Nebulon does just that.}
INTERCOM:Okay, we need an organized forum for everyone to shout out there ideas all at the same time!
{Cut to the Intercom on a stage in the Cafeteria. Everyone else is sitting at the tables.}
INTERCOM:Okay, start yellin'!
{Everyone starts yelling all at the same time.}
STRONG BAD:I THINK WE SHOULD KILL THEM! I THINK WE SHOULD KILL THEM!
BUBS:WE MUST SACRIFICE PEOPLE! WE MUST!
STRONG SAD:AHHHHHH!!!
MARZIPAN:WE SHOULD FEED IT VEGETABLES! OR AT LEAST WE-
STRONG BAD:I THINK WE SHOULD KILL IT!!!
NEBULON:EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!
{Everyone goes silent except Strong Sad, who keeps screaming. Nebulon takes the stage.}
NEBULON:First of all, I'm going to do a roll call. Homestar M. Runner,
HOMESTAR:Here, and just call me Homestar M. Runner.
NEBULON:...'kay. Strong Bad?
STRONG BAD:Here!
NEBULON:The Cheat?
THE CHEATMeh!
NEBULON:Strong Mad?
STRONG MAD:HERE!
NEBULON:Strong Sad?
STRONG SAD:AHHHHHHH!!!
NEBULON:Pom-Pom, Marzipan, Coach Z, Bubs, The KOT, The Poopsmith, The Cleric, The Knight, The Little Chef Guy, Mr.Bland, Senor, Lois, Courtney, Freakface, Elf Arm, STOP Giraffe and Nebulon, all here?
ALL O' DEMS:HERE!
NEBULON:Okay, that makes 22. WAAAY too much. I agree with Bubs right now. We have to sacrifice people. And not because it's fun to watch. Okay, maybe a little bit. Now, who's the least valuable?
STRONG SAD:MEEE! SACRIFICE ME, GOD DAN YOU!!!
NEBULON:Hmm...Poopsmith!
THE POOPSMITH:{Gulp}
KOT:What? That's ridiculous!
{The Poopsmith smiles.}
KOT:I wanted to eat him!
{The Poopsmith frowns.}
NEBULON:Sorry, Kingy. The Poopsmith will have to go to the Nebbies.
{Nebulon and Strong Mad tackle him and tie him up. They carry him to a window in the cafeteria, and throw him out. Strong Bad gets his video camera and films the Nebulites eating The Poopsmith alive. He holds up a sign that says "AHHH!" which the Nebulites eat.}
STRONG BAD:Oh, man. This is gonna be a number one hit on Y**T***. Oh, man. I can't say Y**T*** for copyright reasons. Da-ang.
NEBULON:Well, now there's 21 people. Still too much. We only have a limited supply of food. This is a High School Cafeteria for God's sake.
more later!
more later!
