Congressman Robert Ingersol (R-SC)

From Umcom

[edit] Congressman Robert Ingersol of South Carolina's 4th district

Robert Ingersol was born on June 12, 1959 in Greensboro, South Carolina. In the womb he was the chairman of his mother's vagina. In school he was the chairman of the student council and he graduated from SC State in 1981 with a major in Politics and a minor in Chairmanship. In 1982 he wa smade th Chairman of the "Kids 4 Growth" foundation and later made the "Chairmen 4 Gorwth" foundation. In 1990 he ran for the state senate and served there until 1998. On June 8, 1997 then-State Senator Ingersol was in the parking lot of a Sizzler in victorville, South Carolina. He saw a hobo asleep and beat him to death with a torque wrench, urinated on him and told his wife he had never felt so alive. He was elected to Congress in 1998 and admitted to this crime during public airings in 2007. As chairman of the judiciary commitee, he is still trying to come up with a cool name for a 2008 bil that would stop the spread of methanphetamines. He also was in charge of Obama's inauguration ceremonies as the chairman of the commitee on Inaugural ceremonies. Although, he passed few of the decisions made by his fellow commitee members, esspecially Cummings and Haller. His wife divorced him in 2008 and he joined other divorced congressmen as the chairman of the house Financial Services commitee, where he brutally questioned the Girlfriends Leadership commitee.

Commitees:

Chairman, House Judiciary Commitee

Chairman, Inaugural Ceremonies Commitee

Chairman, Financial Services Commitee