Tarot
From Ucbgwinn600
OPEN ON:
INT. FORTUNE TELLER SHOP - AFTERNOON
MAN
I came to you because you're my
only hope. My life is in shambles.
My wife just left me and took our
kids, I owe some people some
money, a lot of money and I've
been in the same dead end job for
years, constantly being passed
over for a promotion time and time
again. Sometimes I think, I'm
better off dead. I saw the sign
outside and I took it for, well a
sign.
FORTUNE TELLER
Yes, I have been expecting you.
Please have a seat.
The fortune teller sits, cross-legged on the floor. The man,
hesitantly sits down too.
FORTUNE TELLER
(continuing)
First, I will lay these cards out
and each one will tell me
something about you.
MAN
Oh, I was hoping you could just
read my palm or something and just
tell me my future.
FORTUNE TELLER
Oh, but it is not that simple, you
see, for I can only tell you what
you already know.
MAN
What?
FORTUNE TELLER
Let's have a look at the cards,
shall we? Please make three piles.
Now make two piles from one of the
piles, combine two piles. Now make
four equal piles from that pile,
take out one card from each pile,
put then back on the original......
MAN
Is this really necessary?
FORTUNE TELLER
It is if you want to have your
future revea...OK, the Ace of
Swords. Yes, Yes.
MAN
Ace of Swords? Is that good?
FORTUNE TELLER
These man, that you owe money to,
they will come to you. The one
named Sal will ask you to do a
simple of favor and your debt will
be forgotten.
MAN
Oh, thank goodness. Yes, yes, I
will do whatever he asks. Anything
to finally put this loan behind
me. Maybe once that burden has
been lifted, my wife will finally
return with my children and I-
FORTUNE TELLER
You must refuse this favor.
MAN
What?
FORTUNE TELLER
You must refuse this favor and
threaten to call the authorities
on these men if they do not leave
your home.
MAN
These are not men that you can say
"no" to and they're certainly not
people that you can threaten.
FORTUNE TELLER
You can and you will. It's in the
cards.
MAN
I don't think you understa-
The fortune teller pulls a new card.
FORTUNE TELLER
Ah yes, the King of Destiny.
Interesting.
MAN
Interesting good or interesting
bad?
FORTUNE TELLER
In your office, you work with a
man named "Charlie".
MAN
Yes, Charlie was the last one who
got promoted before me. I hate
Charlie.
FORTUNE TELLER
Well, then it's good interesting
because Charlie's dead.
MAN
Dead? How?
FORTUNE TELLER
Oh, well let's see.
(Pulls a new card)
Oooh, wow, autoerotic
asphyxiation. But getting back to
you. Tomorrow, when you return to
work, your boss will offer you a
promotion.
MAN
Yes!
FORTUNE TELLER
He will offer you the promotion,
and you be so shocked that you
will stall before accepting the
job. Your boss will take that as
a sign that you are holding out,
and because he is so desperate he
will panic and double your salary.
MAN
Oh man! That's amazing. I FINALLY
get that promotion and with my new
salary I can pay of the loan in no
time at all. So I finally get my
promotion, I can finally put the
loan behind me and then my wife
will surely come back and-
FORTUNE TELLER
You must refuse the promotion!
MAN
Wait, what???
FORTUNE TELLER
Yes, you must refuse the promotion
and quit your job.
MAN
You're crazy! I'm not going to do
that. I can hardly make ends meet
now. Do you know how difficult it
is to find a job these days?
FORTUNE TELLER
You have no choice. It's in the
cards!
MAN
Why do you keep saying that? What
does that even mean?
The Fortune teller pulls a new card.
FORTUNE TELLER
Yes, of course. The [card].
MAN
What, what? What does it say?
FORTUNE TELLER
Your wife...
MAN
What about my wife? What is it?
FORTUNE TELLER
Your wife will return to you anf
beg you to take her back.
MAN
Oh yes, I knew it! Honey, of
course I'll take you back. This
will even make up for the loss of
my job and the crippeling beating
I will surely take when I refuse
the favor from Sal. Oh thank you.
Thank you so-
FORTUNE TELLER
You can not take her back!
