The Fly Intervention
From Ucbgwinn600
| Line 23: | Line 23: | ||
Holy shit. It's Brundle Fly! Brundle Fly! What are you doing, get the gun like we planned. | Holy shit. It's Brundle Fly! Brundle Fly! What are you doing, get the gun like we planned. | ||
| - | + | '''Girl''' | |
| + | |||
| + | He's not the fly! He's an actor. | ||
'''Jeff Goldblum''' | '''Jeff Goldblum''' | ||
| + | |||
Yes. Yes. I act, I'm an actor, I pretend to be things on screen. | Yes. Yes. I act, I'm an actor, I pretend to be things on screen. | ||
It's a movie, it isn't real don't you see that. | It's a movie, it isn't real don't you see that. | ||
'''Guy''' | '''Guy''' | ||
| + | |||
You want a donut? | You want a donut? | ||
| - | + | '''Jeff Goldblum''' | |
| + | |||
Why thank you. (he spits on donut and sucks it up) | Why thank you. (he spits on donut and sucks it up) | ||
| - | + | '''Guy''' | |
| + | |||
HOLY SHIT. You really are a fly! | HOLY SHIT. You really are a fly! | ||
| Line 41: | Line 47: | ||
'''David Cronenberg''' | '''David Cronenberg''' | ||
| + | |||
No, that's just how Jeff Goldblum eats. Hi I'm David Cronenberg. Look I made The Fly when I needed money very badly to make Naked Lunch. If you want to be obsessed with my work thats the superior film. | No, that's just how Jeff Goldblum eats. Hi I'm David Cronenberg. Look I made The Fly when I needed money very badly to make Naked Lunch. If you want to be obsessed with my work thats the superior film. | ||
| - | + | '''Guy''' | |
| - | Peter Weller just doesn't do it for me. I know you're in a band with him | + | |
| + | Peter Weller just doesn't do it for me. No offense Jeff I know you're in a band with him. | ||
'''Jeff Goldblum''' | '''Jeff Goldblum''' | ||
| - | I am, we are. Thats very impressive that you know that. I guess were not having this intervention for nothing. | + | |
| + | That's right. I am, we are in a band together, a jazz orchestra. Thats very impressive that you know that. I guess were not having this intervention for nothing. | ||
'''Girl''' | '''Girl''' | ||
| + | |||
WE'RE HAVING THIS INTERVENTION BECAUSE I'M GOING FUCKING INSANE AND IF I HAVE TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT THIS STUPID MOVIE I'M GOING TO BE LIKE GENA DAVIS AND BLOW YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BRAINS OUT. | WE'RE HAVING THIS INTERVENTION BECAUSE I'M GOING FUCKING INSANE AND IF I HAVE TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT THIS STUPID MOVIE I'M GOING TO BE LIKE GENA DAVIS AND BLOW YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BRAINS OUT. | ||
| Line 59: | Line 69: | ||
""Vincent Price Jr."" | ""Vincent Price Jr."" | ||
| + | |||
Hi. I'm Vincent Price Jr. | Hi. I'm Vincent Price Jr. | ||
Revision as of 05:06, 13 March 2006
A guy and a girl are watching a movie...The Fly.
Guy
Yes. Yes. (jumping out of seat) NO. Don't go in there, thats the fly. Godammit!
(a beat)
I'm sorry I keep putting it on when you come over.
Girl
(sic)If I have to watch that movie one more time I swear...
(enter Jeff Goldblum)
Jeff Goldblum
Hello, I'm Jeff Goldblum. Your girlfriend has asked me to come here, she thinks "The Fly" is dominating your lifeI and you need help. She has organized this intervention
Guy
Holy shit. It's Brundle Fly! Brundle Fly! What are you doing, get the gun like we planned.
Girl
He's not the fly! He's an actor.
Jeff Goldblum
Yes. Yes. I act, I'm an actor, I pretend to be things on screen. It's a movie, it isn't real don't you see that.
Guy
You want a donut?
Jeff Goldblum
Why thank you. (he spits on donut and sucks it up)
Guy
HOLY SHIT. You really are a fly!
(enter David Cronenberg)
David Cronenberg
No, that's just how Jeff Goldblum eats. Hi I'm David Cronenberg. Look I made The Fly when I needed money very badly to make Naked Lunch. If you want to be obsessed with my work thats the superior film.
Guy
Peter Weller just doesn't do it for me. No offense Jeff I know you're in a band with him.
Jeff Goldblum
That's right. I am, we are in a band together, a jazz orchestra. Thats very impressive that you know that. I guess were not having this intervention for nothing.
Girl
WE'RE HAVING THIS INTERVENTION BECAUSE I'M GOING FUCKING INSANE AND IF I HAVE TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT THIS STUPID MOVIE I'M GOING TO BE LIKE GENA DAVIS AND BLOW YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BRAINS OUT.
(a beat)
It's a remake anyway.
(enter Vincent Price Jr.)
""Vincent Price Jr.""
Hi. I'm Vincent Price Jr.
(a long uncomfortable silence. the others look at each other, and Vince suspicously)
speaks of his father coming to hom in a dream, tells Guy he is obsessed with "the Fly" and more importantly his father says the original is better. possible discussion if Vincent Price (senior) is gay (callback to batman sketch), also possible discussion of old and new fly.
(enter Daphne Zunigafly)
