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| + | A guy and a girl are watching a movie...The Fly. |
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- | COUPLE WATCHING THE FLY.
| + | '''Guy''' |
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- | SETH<br>
| + | Yes. Yes. (jumping out of seat) NO. Don't go in there, thats the fly. Godammit! |
- | Yes, yes… NO! Don’t go in there! That’s the Fly. God dammit! (beat.) It just keeps getting better and better. (film reference) It’s just so good. | + | |
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- | NANCY<br>
| + | (a beat) |
- | I know. It was great yesterday, and the day before that, and on my birthday, and your uncle's wake…
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| | | |
- | SETH<br>
| + | I'm sorry I keep putting it on when you come over. |
- | (DREAMILY) ... And someday at our wedding...
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| | | |
- | NANCY<br>
| + | '''Girl''' |
- | Seth, “The Fly” was once just your favorite movie. Now it’s eating up your life.
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- | | + | |
- | SETH<br>
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- | That’s ridiculous, Gena.
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
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- | I’m Nancy! I’m not Gena Davis!
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- | | + | |
- | SETH<br>
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- | Only because you’re not trying.
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
| + | |
- | Look, I’ve asked some friends to come down and talk to you. [DRAGS IN JEFF GOLDBLOOM]
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- | | + | |
- | JEFF GOLDBLUM<br>
| + | |
- | Hello, I’m Jeff Goldblum.
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- | | + | |
- | SETH<br>
| + | |
- | Holy shit.
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- | | + | |
- | JEFF GOLDBLUM<br>
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- | That’s right … (NANCY MOUTHS SETH) … Seth, actors now have to go around the country helping people who are obsessed with their movies. The guys from the Godfather do this full-time, while minor stars do it maybe once a year, and of course I, Jeff Goldblum, do it … maybe once a year.
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- | | + | |
- | SETH<br>
| + | |
- | But “The Fly” is the best movie ever made!
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
| + | |
- | But it’s just a movie! Jeff Goldblum, tell him it’s just a movie!
| + | |
- | | + | |
- | JEFF GOLDBLUM<br>
| + | |
- | Yeah, yeah. This world has so much more to offer … like other movies! Jurassic Park, Igby Goes Down …
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
| + | |
- | No! Things other than movies! [SHE GOES OUT TO DRAG IN DAVID CRONENBERG]
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- | | + | |
- | JEFF GOLDBLUM<br>
| + | |
- | Independence Day, Earth Girls Are Easy, several episodes of Will and Grace …
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY DRAGS IN DAVID CRONENBERG
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY [TO DAVID]<br>
| + | |
- | Tell him.
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- | | + | |
- | DAVID CRONENBERG<br>
| + | |
- | Hi, I'm David Cronenberg.
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- | | + | |
- | SETH<br>
| + | |
- | Oh my God! David Cronenberg (CRONENBERG RIFF) body horror genre. [REACHES OUT HIS PALM.]
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- | | + | |
- | DAVID CRONENBERG<br>
| + | |
- | Look (JEFF WHISPERS TO DAVID "SETH") Seth, The Fly is just supposed to be entertainment, not life ...
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
| + | |
- | Yes! Yes! It’s just a movie!
| + | |
- | | + | |
- | DAVID CRONENBERG<br>
| + | |
- | … as opposed to Police Academy 3, which I watch literally all day…
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
| + | |
- | No, you’re making things worse!
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- | | + | |
- | DAVID CRONENBERG<br>
| + | |
- | Not Police Academy 4, of course, which was an abomination!
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- | | + | |
- | JEFF GOLDBLUM<br>
| + | |
- | Wow, doughnuts!
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- | | + | |
- | DAPHNE ZUNIGA ENTERS.
| + | |
- | | + | |
- | DAPHNE ZUNIGA<br>
| + | |
- | Hi I’m Daphne Zuniga, the actress who replaced Gena Davis in “The Fly II.”
| + | |
- | | + | |
- | ALL<br>
| + | |
- | Get out!!!
| + | |
- | | + | |
- | DAPHNE EXITS
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- | SETH(TO NANCY) <br>
| + | |
- | Why did you invite Daphne Zuniga?
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
| + | |
- | I didn’t! She just wanders from house to house. That’s what happens to people who get lost in movies. Look! These are the pathetic people you're obsessed with!
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- | | + | |
- | JEFF GOLDBLUM SPITS ON DOUGHNUT AND SUCKS IT UP LIKE A BRUNDLE FLY.
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- | | + | |
- | SETH<br>
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- | Cool… you really are The Fly!
| + | |
- | | + | |
- | DAVID CRONENBURG<br>
| + | |
- | No, that’s just how Jeff Goldblum eats.
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
| + | |
- | ENOUGH! You people have even more movie sickness than everyone else. Where's the voice of sanity?!
| + | |
- | | + | |
- | DOOR SLAMS OPEN. VINCENT PRICE, JR. WALKS IN WORKMAN/MUSCLE CLOTHES.
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- | | + | |
- | VINCENT PRICE, JR.<br>
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- | Hi, I’m Vincent Price, Jr.! [PAUSE. EVERYONE LOOKS BAFFLED.] Maybe you didn’t hear me. I’m Vincent Price Jr.! … My father made the original “Fly” in 1958. I grew up with movies, and I’ve seen the lives they’ve destroyed. [INDICATING NANCY] This woman is right. You’ve got to turn your back on the movies and look at your real life! Beware! Beware!!!!
| + | |
- | | + | |
- | PAUSE
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- | | + | |
- | SETH<br>
| + | |
- | Are you really Vincent Price, Jr.? I mean, you're ... wasn’t your dad, uh …?
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- | | + | |
- | VINCENT PRICE, JR.<br>
| + | |
- | Look, my dad was not gay! I am tired of people asking me that. He was, what you call flamboyant, y'know, campy.
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- | | + | |
- | JEFF GOLDBLUM<br>
| + | |
- | Well, campy is gay.
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- | | + | |
- | VINCENT PRICE, JR.<br>
| + | |
- | No, this was pre-gay.
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- | | + | |
- | JEFF GOLDBLUM<br>
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- | There was no time before gays. We’ve always had gays.
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
| + | |
- | That’s not the point! Seth, look at this collection of lost souls. Movies aren’t important.
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- | | + | |
- | SETH<br>
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- | You're too late, Nancy. I'm too far gone. I'm already starting to transform ...
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- | | + | |
- | NANCY<br>
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- | No!
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- | SETH<br>
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- | Yes. I can feel it happening -- spreading thrugh my veins. When next you see me, I will have become ... Daphne Zuniga.
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- | | + | |
- | DAPHNE<br>
| + | |
- | Did someone call me?
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- | | + | |
- | ALL<br>
| + | |
- | Get out!
| + | |
- | | + | |
- | BLACKOUT
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