Wikihood 2/eps/21
From The Wikihood
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[edit] Transcript
{The scene opens with the alternates of Ekul, Chwoka and Vanhock getting gasoline and TNT}
ALTKUL: Nice idea, Vanhock
ALT VANHOCK: No problem. Now, let's just set up the TNT...who should we set it on?
ALT CHWOKA: How about Ekul?
ALTKUL: Yeah! That'll be so fun. I can't wait to see what happens!
{cut to the alternates setting up TNT next to Ekul. Alt Strong Sader and Alt Darlon show up.}
ALT DARLON: Finally, someone who's not standing perfectly still! Can you guys...
ALT VANHOCK: {ignoring Alt Darlon} Anyone got any matches?
ALTKUL: Who needs matches?
ALT CHWOKA: This is gonna be so radical.
ALT DARLON: OH NO! I MUST BE INVISIBLE!
{Altkul lights the TNT, and it explodes. The explosion absorbs the time which was gathering around Ekul. Once the explosion hits the alternates, it sends them all to different points in time. The piano lands on the KOT and the anvil lands on Meek Sader's foot.}
CHWOKA: Hey, where'd the alternates go?
VANHOCK: Those guys were fun.
EKUL: Ugh... What happened?
STRONG SADER: Acording to the Canon-Computer, {Holds up a handheld computer labeled "Canon Compy"} The alternates have been sent through to various points in history.
{OOC: Continue this episode only when the alternate episodes are complete. Alt 7: Alt Strong Sader and Vanhock, Alt 21, 1936: Alt Darlon}
KYVES: Ugh... No... The Darkness beyond time... is going to... envelope this universe... since this timeline... is being erased...
{Cut to the real world. The Combine are trying to get through the door.}
APOC: STRIDER CANNON!!!!!!!!!!!!
{Cut back to a simulation. A faint explosion is heard.}
EKUL: {Slurred} An explosion... make it go away...
BUBS: Sounds like you need "Bubs... Normal investigator"!
EKUL: Oh man... If I had money right now...
KYVES: I don't think... it originated from the simulation...
{Cut to Noxigar, who is in his own room in the Legion of Evil's hidout}
NOXIGAR: Well, my papers got legitimised, finally. I should thank the leader of the Legion of Evil! Now, what do I do? Oh, yes!
{Noxigar gets some gunpowder and travels to ApocalypX's house.}
NOXIGAR: Hehehe... now to get into my Axel form so noone notices me.
{Noxigar transforms into a lookalike of Axel}
NOXIGAR: Lay out the gunpowder so it spells, "Nworb Enaj Yeslek" in Apoc's backyard, and make sure one of the letters in gunpowder touches Apoc's house.
{A 22 seconds later screen appears in red. Afterwards, it cuts back to Noxigar, who's finished his project.}
NOXIGAR: At last, now to perform the Flame Wheel
{One of Noxi's chakrams goes ablaze and sets the gunpowder and Apoc's house on fire.}
{OOC: Uh, the LoE's "hideout" is the alternate dimension which is nearly unescapeable. The other fortress of the LoE blew to smithereens.}
{Noxigar heads back to the LoE Hideout and runs to Darlon's office.}
NOXIGAR: Hey, Darlon! I burned ApocalypX's house! You owe me 5 bucks now!
{OOC: FYI, that was meant for you, Noxigar.}
{OOC: I know. I'm in the one in the alternate dimension. Let me be creative! Team effort?! Remember?!}
{OOC: 1. Darlon's not there. 2. It's more like a prison. 3. ...maybe you should read past chapters more carefully.}
{OOC: Ok. Just take me to where Darlon is whilst I reread previous episodes.}
{The occurances of Noxigar fade away as it shows Darlon next to Doom lake.}
DARLON: Hmph. That one... man... Darlon is it? seems to have disappeared...
{Noxigar sits next to Darlon as he recently portalized in Doom Lake.}
NOXIGAR: Hey. What happened to your memory? I have the 7 Chaos Emeralds with me if you want to know what happened. If you're not Darlon, then who are you?
{Noxigar uses the 7 Chaos Emeralds to try and restore Darlon's memeory. Cut to show it was on a projector.}
APOC: That is what would happen if I HAD A HOUSE! Back to the door bombs! FIRE THE GUARD GUNS!
{Noxigar is seen behind ApocalypX, this time disguised as Xigbar}
NOXIGAR: {muttering} As if! I'll show you how to be bodacious with plot points! {Noxigar takes out a double-barreled shotgun and aims it at Apoc's skull.} {yelling} NWORB ENAJ YESLEK! {Noxigar shoots the gun}
{OOC: Try dodging THAT!}
{ApocalypX teleports to another part of the area, and the bullets instead hit a line of Combine Soldiers (like Dominos).}
NOXIGAR: What the bloody? This isn't funny, Apoc! {Aims at Apoc's head once again} NWORB ENAJ YESLEK! {Noxigar shoots the gun}
{The bullets successfully hit Apoc. Apoc turns around.}
APOC: Kill him.
{The Soldiers, Guards, Striders and Hunters all face "Xigbar".}
{Noxigar runs off, shooting all of the enemies except for Apoc with his double-barreled shotgun. He then dresses up as Captain Hook.}
NOXIGAR: Arr, just wait until I put on me Burger King Mask! Then I shall have it MY way! {OOC: Failed to parse (Can't write to or create math temp directory): [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HxOiQy_g] }
{More Combine march/walk/stride over to the location.}
APOC: CONTINUE THE BREAK IN!
{Noxigar blends into the background as Xigbar and shoots numerous soldiers with the same double-barreled shotgun. He then aims the gun at Apoc. Apoc senses Noxigar behind him.}
APOC: If I didn't die before, what makes you think I'll die now? Strider.
{The Strider fires at Noxigar. Back at the simulation, Meek Sader is examining Kyves}
KYVES: What... has happened... to me?
MEEK SADER: You're losing your tangibility.
KYVES: We must... get on the pirate ship... before the timeline is erased...
{Nived finds Darlon and the two of them and the heroes climb aboard Altkul's ship.}
KYVES: Here we... go...
{The pirate ship's noncanonity protects them. Cut back to Noxigar, who teleports back to Doom Lake to find Darlon.}
NOXIGAR: Okay, seriously, let's get your memory restored. {Noxigar uses the 7 Chaos Emeralds to try and restore Darlon's memory. A glitch freezes the entire show.}
NOXIGAR: {offscreen} Aha! Now, let's spiff this thing into actual Hyper Noxigar! {OOC: The screen is frozen, not the setting.}
{OOC: Eh?! How do you transport between simulation and reality without a chair?}
{OOC: 'Tis called plot twisting, mi amigo.}
NOXIGAR: {offscreen} Dangit. Can't fix the glitch!
{OOC: Besides, Darlon isn't by Doom lake anymore, you just transported into a deleted reality.}
{Noxigar leaves and the screen unfreezes. He is instead at Lord X's mansion.}
NOXIGAR: Hey, Lord X! I'm home!
LORD X: PAY YOUR BILLZ!
{Lord X kicks Noxigar out of the mansion.}
NOXIGAR: Ugh, I was going to? {Noxigar takes out a huge document indicating his bills have been paid and gives it to Lord X, breaking the front door in the process}
LORD X: INVALID.
{Lord X grabs Noxigar and throws him into the basement.}
LORD X: CLEAN IT AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A BAR!
NOXIGAR: Hehe. At least I can use these Emeralds without a glitch occuring.
{Noxigar uses the 7 Chaos Emeralds and his Xaldin form to swiftly turn the basement into a legitimate bar.}
NOXIGAR: Alright, Lord X! Here's your bar! Come on down with the Samuel Adams! {OOC: I don't drink. However, if I did, I'd likely go for Sam Adams}
{Noxigar teleports out.}
NOXIGAR: End this episode now! Boredom has striked!
LORD X: I'm going to pay him.
{Cut to Noxigar, who is stealthily behind the Combine army, shooting random Combine Soldiers, Guards, Strikers, etc.}
NOXIGAR: Alright, now let's get Xaldin form to stab Apoc in the gut. {Noxigar is now in Xaldin form, readying his 6 lances that encircle him}
{Back in the simulation, Meek Sader revives Ekul from his concussion}
EKUL: Ouch... Thanks. Now what was that rumble?
NIVED: Apparently, some battle is occuring outside of the simulation.
EKUL: Well, let me get out there.
{Ekul wakes up from his chair outside the simulation in Strong Sader's house.}
EKUL: Time to get back to the mainframe.
{Ekul flies in a helicopter back. He peers in to see the break in. Noxigar appears behind him.}
NOXIGAR: {yelling so as to make Ekul fall of the helicopter} NWORB ENAJ YESLEK!
EKUL: Shoot. My cover's been blown.
{Ekul backflips out of the helicopter after flying it down. It crashes directly into Noxigar. The screen turns black for a few seconds. Then, the screen reappears to be Noxigar with a few scars on the left sleeve of the gold jacket.}
NOXIGAR: Grr... those helicopter propellers do a good scratchin'. No worries, though. Let me call Ekul with the following number. 522-7001. {OOC: Kids, don't try this at home!}
{Noxigar dials the exact number}
NOXIGAR: Hello? May I speak to a C. Whitlow? Yes, the Whitlow company is the company I'm looking for! There's some guy named Ekul who hijacked one of your helicopters! Kay, bye!
{Noxigar hangs up and teleports to Ekul's current location.}
NOXIGAR: Ekul, you're busted. C. Whitlow just called the cops! That's whatcha get for hijacking copters! {Noxigar disguises himself as Vexen and freezes Ekul} {Noxigar gets out the same phone} Alright, I got 'im.
{Ekul simply thaws, having heat powers and walks by, not even owning a cell phone. Sneaking inside the building, he hides in a ceiling tile and opens a wall panel and programs the holograms to activate again.}
STRONG BAD: What the? Where am I?! Oh, back here again...
STRONG MAD: TOO MANY PEOPLE!
{Strong Mad begins throwing soldiers}
{Noxigar pursues Ekul, continually freezing Ekul over and over again.}
NOXIGAR: Now to attempt the spell which turns this to my favor: NWORB ENAJ YESLEK!
{Ekul calmly thaws}
EKUL: Okay, that's it.
{Ekul rises Noxigar's body temperature to heat stroke levels so that he passes out. When Noxigar awakens, Ekul is gone}
STRONG SADER: Roeho, amigos! My language parler seems to wedi corrupted...
KYVES: I'd... help if I could access the mainframe...
STRONG SADER: The corruption's quite intence, the virus has localised itself into my code. My moderator defences will help me, but I'm going to be destroyed if it stays inside me...
KYVES: Can't you... log out?
STRONG SADER: The second the I log out the virus will be released, and I can't take that risk, at least if it stays inside me it'll be destroyed along with me.
KYVES: Give it to me... I'm about to fade into nonexistance anyway.
NIVED: My virus!? Let it go. I beg you not to destroy it.
VOICE: Not yours...
NIVED: Who said that?
{Strong Sader's eye turn a glowing yellow, his voice becomes low, and he is surrounded by a vail of black fog.}
VIRUS: {Talking through Strong Sader.} I am the Omaga Virus: I am O'Malley!
KYVES: Strong Sader? Is your name Allison?
NIVED: ...more importantly, Kyves is right. We'd better transfer the virus to Kyves so that they disappear together.
VIRUS: My name is Jerxey, and I shall bring doom to this vast symboless simulated reality! SHIFT! {Breaks the simulation and is sucked through a glitch, teleporting him.}
NIVED: Hmph. Kyves, you're untouchable, keep an eye on him.
KYVES: Can... do.
{Kyves teleports after him, ghostlike.}
{OOC: I'm writing myself out for now, because I won't be here tommorrow.}
{Cut back to Noxigar, who is in Strong Sader's house. He's using Strong Sader's house phone.}
NOXIGAR: C. Whitlow, can you send some soldiers to infiltrate this house and take it over? Thanks. {Noxigar hangs up.}
{Noxigar looks at the camera.}
NOXIGAR: Can we end it yet?!
PLOTMAN: PLOT!
{Plotman repairs the fourth wall. Suddenly Noxigar's cellphone rings}
NOXIGAR: Hello?
VOICE: Come to "That Place" at the end of the hour. Come unarmed, no police.
NOXIGAR: Uh.. ok. {Noxigar gets out his Xemnas form}
{Noxigar portals himself to "That Place"}
?: I set bombs all over the office of Whitlow and also Organization XIII. If you try to disarm them, kill me or go against what I say or they will go off, you understand?
NOXIGAR: Ok, just tell me what you're trying to do. By the way, Castle Oblivion's destroyed. The one known as Roxas betrayed the rest of the group, killed them all, and now I'm the only actual member left. Also, The Whitlow area has no hiding spots for your bombs. They're easily detectable. C. and J. Whitlow, the company managers, would disperse of them easily. You'd be better off having have placed those bombs in every other user. NWORB ENAJ YESLEK! {OOC: DON'T. ASK.}
{Noxigar destroys the detonator}
NOXIGAR: So, what's my mission? Do tell, good sir.
{Bombs go off}
?: You fool, it's only the signal that keeps them from going off. The bombs have cloaking devices. I did this a long time ago... You should have been more careful!
NOXIGAR: Just tell me what my mission is.
{Noxigar sees as no explosions were detected a la a tracking device in the Whitlow office}
NOXIGAR: There we go! Victory is mine! Also, I reconfigured one of my bombs to Apoc's army's main tank.
?: You seem rather in denial of the explosion. Anyway, your mission? Bring me Darlon, alive.
NOXIGAR: Alright, but be sure that I can use the Chaos Emeralds to restore Darlon's memory.
{Noxigar teleports to Darlon's current location}
NOXIGAR: Hey, amnesiac! If you get to this here portal, I'll give you some Burger King!
DARLON: What's Burger King?
NOXIGAR: It's a place with great food that is where I'm taking you.
NIVED: ...This man seems suspicious.
NOXIGAR: Speak for yourself! What are your origins?! NWORB ENAJ YESLEK!
{Noxigar activates the portal to "That Place. "OOC: Ekul and I are doing the "That Place" skit together, Chwoka."}
NOXIGAR: Next stop is Burger King if you like, Darlon!
{Cut back to the real world.}
APOC: Didn't you Combine make a drill?
CBU: Well, we've never had to break through a metal door.
APOC: Forget it. 60 minute break!
SOLDIERS: HURRAY!
{Everyone runs off.}
CHWOKA: LOOK OUT FOR THAT-
{A time wave comes through, replacing Chwoka with Alt Chwoka, and making Vanhock and Darlon not exist, thus the LoE doesn't exist.}
ALT CHWOKA: ...time...wave...from Episode 1 being changed...
{Cut to Noxigar and in the middle of the portal, having dragged Darlon, who is unconscious and fading away. ? is also there. "OOC: This is part of the plot."}
{The Ice Cap Zone Act 1 music plays in the background for the rest of the episode.}
{Darlon disappears.}
ALT CHWOKA: Umm, yeah. That's...kinda...my fault.
{Being protected by the wave by the non canon Pirate ship, Nived maintains his memories}
NIVED: ...Oh great.
{Aternate Vanhock from the future (wearing sunglasses) appears.}
ALTERNATE FUTURE VANHOCK: Come with me.
NIVED: I can't. It would damage our universe, and our Settingdude would not be happy.
ALTERNATE FUTURE VANHOCK: I don't care. It all turns out OK, I'm from the future. This is supposed to happen.
NIVED: Yeah, but the future doesn't change because of time travel until you change something. That was already established by the waves.
ALT FUT VAN: I don't have time to argue about time travel models, you just hhave to some with me
NIVED: I don't trust strange people from the future.
{Nived throws Alternate Future Vanhock out of the dimensional haven of the pirate ship, making him susceptible to changes from the past.}
ALTFUTVAN: Silly Nived, this only affects the Vanhocks of the past, because I have already recovered! If you really must know what we need you for, your Alternate and Darlon's alternate and Altkul were scheduled to teach at the community center about Time travel, but they all fell ill at the last moment. So, we need you and Ekul and the Darlon recovered from amnesia from the future to teach instead! </monolouge>
NIVED: Good luck getting Ekul, he's in the real world.
AFV: No, Ekul in the past is in the simulation.
NIVED: Why don't you just go back to episode 17 or episode 22, when time is fixed?
AMERICA'S FUNNIEST VIDEOS: Well-Hey, someone's been messing with my name!
ALT FUTURE VANHOCK: Because you're intergal to those episodes. In this one, you aren't. Now, come, before the OTHER you comes into existance.
NIVED: You mean Alt Nived?
ALT FUTURE VANHOCK: No, the Episode 7-altered you who is VERY creepy, I hear. And very weak.
NIVED: ...Well that would be because I had to come in without Ekul's template. Then they probably damaged me since Dark Sader and I were the only "bad guys"
ALT FUTURE VANHOCK: Well, the weak part was because nobody ever escaped from the coding, and so you couldn't hack your own mod powers.
NIVED: Look, this ship has a non canon shield. If you could cause me to be temporarily non canon, I could come with you.
ALT FUTURE VANHOCK: Well, I suppose the time spent in the non-canon universe is inverse to how much time you spend temporarily non-canon in your own.
NIVED: Alright. Actually, this pirate ship is a non canon pocket dimension, right? I should be able to time travel just a bit.
ALT FUTURE VANHOCK: Awesome, Ekul's already in here. {checks off the "Nived" box on his check list.} So, let's go get Darlon...we'll need you to convince him. Oh, Ekul, don't worry.
PAST EKUL: I'm still confused!
ALT FUTURE VANHOCK: Don't worry, you're just naive.
PAST EKUL: Now that's not fair. I'm happy in the present... or the past... and then you take me to the future. That is, my future, your past and this guys present and you interupt me to take me to your present, which is my distant future and this other guy's future for a reason that hasn't happened to me yet, that has happened to you and will have happened to this other guy!
ALT FUTURE VANHOCK: True, but you're to intergal to the timeline to have pulled you from ANY other time. Oh, and, um...I'm also from a different dimension...
{Noxigar portalizes to the pirate ship.}
NOXIGAR: Greetings. You Alternates must state your business or I'm going to canonitize this ship... WITH BOMBS!
ALT FUTURE VANHOCK: Nived, if you please...
{Noxigar bombs the ship}
NIVED: I was wrong in thinking you were in the LoE then. Die.
{Nived circumvents the bombs with gravity and creates a gravity well that Noxigar gets stuck in.}
ALT VANHOCK: Now, TO YOUR GUYS' FUTURE, THEN MY PRESENT WHICH IS NEITHER OF YOUR GUYS' FUTURE!
{The DeLorean takes off into the future}
{Noxigar portalizes to all the alternate episodes somehow inexplicably knowing about them}
{Noxigar then portalizes to The Field.}
NOXIGAR: These Chaos Emeralds seem to be low on power. Dang. Now I need to keep them safe so Chwoka doesn't try and steal them from me. {Noxigar hides all 7 Chaos Emeralds in a bag.} There we go. Plotman and Translator, tell me what's supposed to happen!
{Cut to the real world.}
APOC: Break over. WE MARCH... {gains a French accent} TO ZE END!
{End credits}
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