Wikihood 2/eps/15
From The Wikihood
Ekul, Homekul, Kulbad {Cut to Ekul.}
EKUL: Ah great. Now I've got a split personality
KULBAD: What the? I have a beak?
{The H*R cast go to catch Strong Sader. He grabs Chwoka and Vanhock, stuffs them in his mind and logs out.}
STRONG SADER: It's not even safe in the simulation anymore!
EKUL: I suppose it's official that the simulation is the LoE's now.
HOMEKUL: What's this about? The Louie? Who is Louie?
KULBAD: It's L.O.E, not Louie. Moron.
{Cut to the inside of Strong Sader's mind.}
JACK SADER: New guys? {Holds a knife to their throats.} You terrorists?
CHWOKA: Nope.
{Cut outside to Strong Sader.}
VANHOCK SADER: ...Yay! I'm out of the simulation again!
STRONG SADER: Yeah, you're in my head. Don't get too comfortable in there though, we're getting your body back ASAP.
KULBAD: Uh, where are we anyway. I need to know in case someone emails me.
EKUL: We're in... Wales is it?
STRONG SADER: Yup. Look. {Points out the window at an episode of Doctor Who being filmed.}
{Willon walks infront of everything.}
WILLON: I left it here somewhere...Hey, wait, Chwoka and Vanhock escaped? This is bad.
HOMEKUL: Ummm...does antyone else hear that?
VANHOCK SADER: I do. Sounds like Darlon. Maybe it is! DARLON! YAY! {runs straight into the shot and smashes through another 4th Wall
WILLON: What? There's more that one 4th wall!?
KULBAD: Hey, I can do that. Errm... Hrm...
{Suddenly Ekul disappears and reappears out of the fourth wall}
KULBAD: Note to viewers- hey it worked!
EKUL: Whoa! That was great. Thanks Strong Bad!
{Ekul returns to the other side of the wall. A new fourth wall falls from the sky. The TV flicks on. Willon is on it.}
WILLON: Attention viewers. I have become omnipotent.
WILLHOCK: Please go ahead to the second window.
WILLON: What? No! Not now! Noooooooo. {transmission goes out. Zoom out to reveal that Ekul and Strong Sader were watching it.}
STRONG SADER: Hm. The dimentional craziness of the fourth wall breakage must have propelled Chwoka nad Vanhock back into their body's mind.
{Cut to Will's subconcious. The cage has a hole in it.}
VANHOCK: Tasty metal bars!
{cut back}
EKUL: Well that was close
{Ekul's lower beak part begins to grow and his arms begin to disappear}
HOMEKUL: So is that guy fighting with himself The Louie?
EKUL: Shut up.
STRONG SADER: Homestar's taking over you! I know! {Introduces some Homestar and Strong bad robots.} I made these years ago for no reason! Put them in these.
EKUL: How did you create robots the real world?! Oh well. I guess if a penguin can be genetically enhansed to have hair and power over heat, robots can exist. Get out of my head
KULBAD: No way. I like it in here.
HOMEKUL: I dunno. What if that wobot is The Louie?
{Strong Sader plugs Ekul into the two robots. Homestar and Strong Bad somehow resist going into their respective robots.}
{OOC: The robots were made BEFORE I went into the simulation.}
EKUL: Please leave.
KULBAD: I already told you, NO! I don't want to get into another cast and burnt up.
STRONG SADER: Okay, lets make a deal. If you guys go into your new robot bodies, I'll give you the ability to fly! How does that sound?
(OOC: Ekul dosen't want H*R and SB in robots.}
{Cut to outside the 4th wall. Willon is constantly changing between Willon, Willhock, Chwill, and regular Will. The changing slows down, and Will has taken over.}
WILL: I'm...I'm back? I'M BACK!
{cut to Ekul and Strong Sader. Will runs in.}
WILL: Ekul! Strong Sader! I have control over my own body again!
STRONG SADER: Great! But the robots exploded due to the actions of Homestar and Strong Bad. Now there stuck in Ekul's head, and what's worse, the stain it's putting on his body is have some serious side effects...
WILL: Yeah, it happens. When I was Willon, my hair turned red and started moving like flames.
{Ekul's feet melt and reform into candle-sticks.}
WILL: Plug Ekul back into the simulation!
STRONG SADER: But we'll lose Strong Bad and Homestar!
WILL: I don't care!
STRONG SADER: I won't kill them. Anyway, the simulation's overrun, the whole thing's been taken over by the LoE.
WILL: Strong Sader, they won't be dead, just possessed. And then we can take Ekul out separately and fix everything.
STRONG SADER: They WILL die! Every hour they cycle the coding of their servents, and it's programmed to destroy them because they have the ability to destroy the LoE!
EKUL: Guys... I'm okay... If they're in my body, they can't die unless I do. As robots, they could be magnetized or destroyed.
{Ekul closes his eyes and a wrestling mask forms over his eyes and floating boxing gloves form}
KULBAD: So... what about Bubs? Is he okay? What about my computer?
HOMEKUL: Oh man. This seems like a pwedicament I don't want to be in.
STRONG SADER: Ekul, the strain they're putting on your body is killing you...
EKUL: Trust me, I've been in worse cases than this.
STRONG SADER: Alright. Okay gang- wait, not gang... Guys! That's it; guys, I have to go find some kinda tracer thingy to find the source of the control signals effecting the Homestar guys in there, look after things for me okay? {Leaves}
KULBAD: Okay bye. Oh and uh, while you're out get us a clean up crew!
{A caption appears saying "Two hours later." Strong Sader kicks the door open and pokes in.}
STRONG SADER: Sorry, locked myself out. {Picks the key off the neighbouring desk and closes the door before unlocking it and walking through as normal.}
WILL: {reprogramming the simulation in binary.} Oh, hey Strong Sader.
{Cut to Nived. He is pacing. He talks to Dark Cater}
NIVED: Oh great. With Darlon gone, his organization will collapse. I doubt I would have the same support as him...
{Nived goes to a crowd of LoE.}
NIVED: It pains me to say this, but Will has taken over Willon over. I have one way to get him back, but I need all of you to "leave" the LoE. It will take quite a while, but I can handle it. Do it, then return to the simulation. Goodbye.
{Nived leaves the crowd to an unknown location. Cut to Ekul, Will and Strong Sader}
HOMEKUL: Are we going back into my home again? Cause I really want to show Marzipan something.
STRONG SADER: Homestar, Marzipan's turned evil, so I don't suppose she'll really care.
WILL: {smacks Homekul, making him turn into Ekul.} Ekul, we need to put those guys back in. I don't care if they will be destroyed, they're reprogrammable. Ekul, get into the chair. I'll log you out once you take Homestar and Strong Bad out. I've made the respawn point in the forest. The evil people won't be able to get you. Beam out as soon as you can!
{Ekul reluctantly gets in. Suddenly as soon as he does, he respawns in the forest with Strong Bad and Homestar}
EKUL: You guys take care of your-
{Suddenly, a tree falls down on top of Ekul, knocking him onto the ground, out cold, but not dead. Spooked, Homestar and Strong Bad run. More trees fall down, pan away to see that Bubs is using a catapult.}
{OOC: The chair was designed so that only the user could disable it}
STRONG SADER: I think I can establish a live feed from the simulation right now...
{A live feed comes up on the computer.}
STRONG SADER: Holy crap!
{Cut to the video feed to show that FCUSA has been leveled and reduced to a desert wasteland, only the forest remains. The H*R characters, now under the influence of the legion of Evil, are converting and reconstructing the King of Town's castle into a giant fortess. However, Homestar and Strong Bad are both still complete. Homestar runs up to Bubs and kicks him. Bubs goes flying and part of his coding is damaged}
STRONG BAD: Whoa! How did you get so strong?
HOMESTAR: My brother always said it was nature's way of compensating. I wonder what he meant bu that...?
{Cut to the forest. Will is typing furiously.}
WILL: Ok, Homestar, will you take care of Bubs?
HOMESTAR: Okey dokie weiwd voice!
WILL: Ok, removing the tree from on top of Ekul...{tree lifts up and moves somewhere else.} ...reviving Ekul...Done.
{Ekul appears to inflate.}
WILL: BEAM OUT NOW, EKUL, NOW!
{Ekul beams out. Ekul doesn't get out of his chair, but he sits up}
EKUL: The air was acidic, and I could feel the darkest parts of me seizing control. This isn't good, the program actually strengthened my dark side...
{Cut to Ekul's subconscious. A tiny, little Evil Ekul is shown.}
EVIL EKUL: Evil! Maim! Destroy! Kill! BHRWHAHAHA-
{Evil Ekul is stepped on by Eul.}
EUL: Did I just step on a bug or something?
EKUL: There are bugs in minds?
EVIL EKUL: I have not been defeatttted!I can't feel my flippers...
{Pan out to see the Ekul in his consiousness watching TV}
EKUL: And that's what it would be like if Darkul was that small. Anyway, we're going to need a new plan. That guy is freakin' malicious. We need some new guys to guard him. How about Sakul and Gamma. Those guys are the most crafty...
GAMMA: Uh, I'm the most serious guy here by quite a bit and Sakul is the most sane. What would our outer body be like without it?
EKUL: No offense, but sanity and seriousness are overrated. You have been reassigned. Begone!
{Cut back to reality.}
STRONG SADER: We have to face facts; the simulation is lost. Our only hope in there is Homestar and Strong Bad... They're doomed...
{Cut to the edge of the forest. Homestar and Strong Bad look across the large expance of the desert.}
STRONG BAD: I have to say, this is the first time I'm glad it's you and not someone else who never leaves me alone.
HOMESTAR: What about when evewybody left you fow dead in youw castything?
STRONG BAD: That's not what I meant... Ugh, never mind. Moron
SENOR CARDGAGE: {Evil eyes} Excuss moi, belindas, but will beh assimilated.
{Strong Bad punches Senor Cardgage in the face. Then he kicks him in his oversized gut. Senor Cardgage is laying on the ground, writing in pain}
SENOR CARDGAGE: I think I felt my last leg of consiousness...
STRONG BAD: Aw, man, I wish I didn't have to do that. Oh well. Chances are he won't even remember. Now, where's Homsar? That's one guy I'd love to pummel.
HOMESTAR: Maybe he's in that giant tower thingy over there. {Gestures with his foot toward the giant KoT castle/LoE Fortress. }
{Back at the house, Ekul is struggling}
EKUL: I'm going to go to sleep so that my mind will be at rest. The evil version is still getting stronger.
{Ekul goes to sleep. His consiousness dims down.}
STRONG SADER: I think I can hack into the LoE's Battle-net. it looks as if the entire legion has retreated back into the simulation! Nived is nowhere to be found, but Dark Sader has been logged out of his cat body and has taken place as temporary leader of the legion.
{Cut back to Homestar and Strong Bad, they are walking across the desert.}
HOMESTAR: ...And that's when I puked it right back on my plate!
STRONG BAD: {Groans} How much longer until we reach this stupid fort!
{Cut to the real world, Strong Sader ponders. Suddenly, Ekul wakes up, but instead of his normal serious manner, he has a different look on his face}
EKUL: Hey guys, I'm going to join the LoE, but first I'm going to KILL YOU!
{Ekul shoots fire at them, but the fire doesn't reach them. Then he laughs crazily}
EKUL: Just kidding!
STRONG SADER: Erm... Ekul? Have your synapsis folded up, or ar you just being stupid?
EKUL: {From now on, said with a crazy edge unless noted otherwise} No way, fools. I'm the same old Ekul. The only difference is, I've sacrificed my seriousness and sanity to keep from turning evil.
STRONG SADER: You may need some back-up on that, I'll send my best anti-evil agents to help.
{Strong Sader puts a two way helmet on his and Ekul's head. Cut to Ekul's mind, Meek and Jack Sader materialise in FBI suites.}
MEEK SADER: Where's the hostile?
EKUL: EUL! Take them to Darkul.
{A light blue penguin walks up}
EUL: Ah, we are glad you're here. I'm Eul, the chief of security. My jobs are mainly for making sure that outside threats don't come in. Come this way.
{They walk to a large dark castle with black and purple mist}
EUL: This is the dark recesses of Ekul's mind. It looks dangerous on purpose
{As they wal in, they see an elaborate several walls and force fields of defense and in the middle, Darkul. He looks deranged and is pounding on the walls. Each time he hits the wall, it is dented}
JACK SADER: We'll take it from here.
MEEK SADER: Have the stuff?
JACK SADER: Yeah. {Opens a bag of torchure devices.} It's a good thing I'm modeled on Jack Bauer.
EUL: Ah, good. Go meet with Sacul, Nekul, Gamma and Pakul. They're in there.
{The two Saders meet up with the four Ekuls}
PAKUL: Good evening to you, gents. It is an honor to meet you.
MEEK SADER: Likewise. Anyway, {Takes out a notepad and pen.} tell me all the details of the situation.
GAMMA: This button right here on the wall turns consciousness off. That lets our subconsciousness force to come and give us backup. Darkul is a very strong guy, who used to be dominant, but we overthrew him. It is nearly impossible to kill a part of your mind, and it IS impossible when you're inside of the mind, so I expect you guys have tranquilizers. I authorize all force necessary. He himself is an expert of torchure and enduring it, but then again, we have Jack Sader now.
MEEK SADER: There's only one thing that can destroy the evil part of a person's mind; his good side. Tell me, who is Ekul's purly good incarnate?
SACUL: His name is Gale. He is different from everyone here. He represents the good in Ekul. In fact, he used to be the dominant one before Darkul. He was good friends with Nived in that period. However, he has never killed and will never kill unless it is in the defense of others. He won't participate in preemptive strikes either.
MEEK SADER: He's the same as me, I represent Strong Sader's good side, but only Gale has the ability to destroy Darkul, or at least weaken him enough for us to seal him away forever.
PAKUL: This palace is Ekul's dark memories. If Darkul were to die, the whole palace would crash down and damage Ekul's mind. We don't know how he did it, but we were able to seal him inside.
JACK SADER: Is there a way where we can remove Darkul from Ekul's mind without causing any lasting damage?
GAMMA: We COULD beam the entire castle into the simulation, but that would give Darkul complete freedom. That's bad.
JACK SADER: {Ponders} I've got it!
{Cut to the real world. Ekul is hooked up to the brain chip of the now almost completely destroyed Homestar bot. It proceeds. Then cut to the mind. The entire castle fades away... But then Darkul comes back}
NEKUL: OH snap.
GAMMA: Beam it back, beam it back!
{The castle reforms around him}
MEEK SADER: It's no use, Darkul is such an important part of Ekul's mind that there's no way to remove him.
SACUL: Fortunately, it's not impossible to subdue him. That's what we generally do.
JACK SADER: Then there's only one thing we can do. We'll have to try... {Dramatic zoom in} Techneque Alpha-Gamma!
MEEK SADER: No! It's too risky!
JACK SADER: There's no other way!
{Cut to the simulation, Homestar and Strong Bad reach the fort. They come across Marzipan}
HOMESTAR: Hello bwoomy
MARZIPAN: Homestar... Join the LoE or I'll break up.
HOMESTAR: The Louie, who is that?
MARZIPAN: It's a nice man who will give you candy
HOMESTAR: I don't hang awound with stwange people handing out candy. Stwong Bad, do it!
{Strong Bad takes out a baby seal and throws it into the desert. Marzipan runs out to rescue it}
STRONG BAD: That worked disturbingly well.
POOPSMITH: {Holds up a sign saying: "You with join us, YO!"}
{Homestar picks Marzipan's purse off the ground, finds the perfume and sprays it in his face. He runs off covering his eyes. Cut back to the real world.}
STRONG SADER: Feel any change yet, Ekul?
EKUL: Just the undying need to stop terrorism.
STRONG SADER: That's odd, I feel like eating a curry...
{Cut to the inside of Strong Sader's mind.}
SLOB SADER: With that meek pansy gone, now I control the scenes! HA!
{On the inside of Ekul's mind. Darkul breaks through the wall and tackles Jack Sader. Jack Sader is not worried though, and kicks him aside, then shoots him and takes him into the primary wall. Cut to a town in Ekul's mind. Suddenly, a penguin version of Jack Sader appears. Cut back to the castle, where Eul comes in}
EUL: Uh, in conscious city, there's a kid who looks just like you, Jack Sader. Whatever you just did splintered a part of you into Ekul's mind.
MEEK SADER: Jack Sader! Try not to cause too much damage! The destruction of only one building could destroy Ekul's brain!
{Suddenly, Ekul's main side and another penguin comes in}
EKUL: Oh, hello Saders. I have gone and found an explorative side. I would like to appoint him as ambassador to your owner's mind.
{Jack Sader brings Darkul under control, and places him in an electrified cage.}
MEEK SADER: Cool! Actually, I think we can make a trade...
{Cut to outside, Meek Sader, Jack Sader and The ambassador disappear and return to Strong Sader's mind, an explorative Strong Sader; Scout Sader, appears as ambassador.}
SCOUT SADER: The Sader's say that they are confident in the knowledge that Darkul is safe for now.
EKUL: Ah, good. Now Strong Sader can control me when I'm not at the computer!
SCOUT SADER: And viceversa, but only if needbe.
{Homestar walks and finds The Cheat. He kicks The Cheat into the air, then rips something off his back}
HOMESTAR: Since when did Mistew Cheatewson whewe a dog collaw?
STRONG BAD: Uh, are you being stupid or is there really a collar?
HOMESTAR: Naw, I'm kidding. It's cleawly a cat collaw. See?
{The cat collar reads "PROPERTY of LoE}
HOMESTAR: What's the Low?
STRONG BAD: LoE, Homestar.
HOMESTAR: The Louie?! The Cheat is the Louie?
THE CHEAT: Meh.
{The Cheat looks at Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: Whatever they're paying you, I'll give you double in buffalo wings.
THE CHEAT: {Enthusiastic Cheat Noises. His eyes stop glowing and return to normal.}
HOMESTAR: Hooray! The Teach is on our side!
{The Cheat's eyes turn red again, and attempts to gnaw Homestar's face off. He fails.}
STRONG BAD: The Cheat, think about the Buffalo wings. You're going to have to put up with it.
{The Cheat does nothing}
STRONG BAD: Homestar, you gotta act smart. Say... the Teach is on our side.
HOMESTAR: Uhm, The Cheat is on our side?
{The Cheat programs out the badness from his system}
STRONG BAD: Good work. Let's go.
{Cut back to the real world.}
STRONG SADER: Now lets think about the simulation, we need to find a way to get it back under control. Ideas, anybody?
EKUL: Chwoka and I have bad sides, so I'd say the only one safe to go in is you, Strong Sader.
STRONG SADER: {Ponders} Well, darkul is under control more or less, but Darlon is still quite a threat. Okay, I say me and Ekul enter the simulation, take check of the simulation and try to find some way to get Homestar and Strong Bad outta there.
EKUL: Well, it still strengthened my dark side, which you no longer retain. I wish I could go, but I can't... Unless... We put one of my consciousnesses...
STRONG SADER: There's an idea. Which should we send?
EKUL: Let's see... I'd say Okul. He's not my most knowlegable side, but he's very clever and crazy to boot. If I get to a knowlege part, he can ask me outside of the system.
{Cut to later. Strong Sader is logged in. Ekul simply downloads Okul into the simulation.}
EKUL: Wow... I suddenly feel less violent and less clever. Maybe I should leave him there...
{Ekul begins maniacly laughing, then he suddenly stops}
EKUL: Wait, what am I thinking?
{Cut to the simulation}
OKUL: Ah! I have control again.
{Okul gets out a switchblade, then puts it away and pulls out a sword that looks odd}'
OKUL: Ready, then, Strong Sader?
STRONG SADER: Erm... Sure...
{Cut to Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat, who are now stealthily moving around to outer perimeter of the LoE fortress.}
DARLON IMPRINT: Hello.
HOMESTAR:' Oh no! It's Stwong Mad!
STRONG BAD: Homestar, that's-
{Screen goes blank. Screams are heard. The screen returns, now with the trio possesed.}
DARLON IMPRINT: Welcome to the LoE, Strong Bad...{evil laugh.}
{Cut to the real world}
EKUL: Say, I haven't heard from Will in a while...
{Camera pan, to see Will is huddled in a corner, shaking.}
WILL: Darlon....super evil...get away...fast...now...
{Cut back to the simulation.}
DARLON IMPRINT: Now, you two can get to work on finishing of the third tower, SO GET TO WORK!
STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR: {Simltainiously} We obey.
{The Darlon Imprint leaves and joins a small group of other imprints. Strong Bad, The Cheat and Homestar remove some red contact lenses.}
STRONG BAD: Well Homestar, I never through I'd say this but I'm glad you're brain generates a stupidity field capable of deflecting possession radiation!
HOMESTAR: Stupidity is my middle mushroom!
{OOC: Don't have Homestar and Strong Bad get possessed, they're story is currently the central plotline.}
{Cut back into the real world}
EKUL: What, is he bothering you again? Is he gaining dominance?
{Ekul creates a sharp icicle behind his back. Strong Sader logs out in shock, breathing heavily. He plugs a cord into the back of Ekul's head and drains Okul back in.}
STRONG SADER: Your stupid guy tried to kill me!
{Ekul thinks}
EKUL: Uh, no? Okul isn't a traitor, he's just sleazy. According to him... He was simply arming himself.
STRONG SADER: Well, he said something about me ripping him off.
EKUL: According to him, he meant no harm, but he was rather paranoid. So there must be some sort of paranoia thing in the program in the forest. Odd, since Okul is usually no paranoid. If you're scared, I'll send Cul instead.
STRONG SADER: Best had, if Okul's paranoia is aggrovated by something in that forest, it could also damage him. What part of you is Cul?
EKUL: He's energetic and consequently temperamental. He's also somewhat foolishly heroic. So, I suppose he should work.
{Ekul plugs himself into the computer and transfers Cul}
WILL: I...told..you...to..runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...
{Will turns absolutely black, his eyes turn completely red, and he bursts into dark flames.}
WILLON: FOOLS! I've had time to charge!
{Ekul takes the sharp icicle and stabs Willon into his right shoulder as soon as he says the word "charge".}
EKUL: Actually... You're the fool! I've been anticipating this!
{Ekul rips the icicle out}
{Willon regenerates. The icicle turns black.}
WILLON: Heh. You thought you really something, hm? You're not quite as much as a team as you think. {Willon cuts the transfer wire.} There goes Cul. {creates a ball of pure energy and throws it at Ekul}
{Ekul freezes an area and the energy reflects onto the ceiling}
EKUL: Cul? He's already on there. Except a little bit of him. He no longer has an appendix. I'm sure he won't mind.
{Cut to Cul}
CUL: Hmmm... I feel lighter...
{Cut back to Ekul}
EKUL: So I suppose you've given into your dark side, eh? You've isolated him and he overpowered you. So I guess I just have to fight fire with fire...
{Ekul concentrates, and his left flipper turns dark blue}
{Willon psychicly throws Ekul out the window. Strong Mad pounces on him.}
WILLON: I have no time for you...I'm getting stronger by the minute. {flies out to the ceiling. He starts firing rays rapidly, each one turning people and animals into obedient, mindless zombies.} Yes...YES!
{Strong Sader breaks the now already broken door down. He fires a bolt of lightening from his fingers and downs Willon, who lands in Cardiff Bay. Ekul blasts Strong Mad away. His left arm has an aura. He fires a ray of dark heat into Willon with the left arm. Cut to Cul, who is walking to the castle. A Blue Laser minion spots him, and swarms begin coming. However, Cul begins fighting them all. Strong Bad and Homestar sneak up behind and take out the Blue Lasers.}
HOMESTAR: Hey, I know you! You were in Pengymin's head!
{Cul swells with pride}
CUL: That's me! Yeah, he chose to send me!
{A shadow sneks up behind the three and knocks them out.}
STRONG BAD: Son of a-
DARK SADER: {Steps out of the shadows} Welcome, gentlemen...
{"To be continued, YO!" comes on screen.}
Synopsis
CAST (in order of appearence): {{{3}}}
Transcript
{{{4}}}
IX1X7a Thanks, useful material I added your blog to my bookmarks!...
