Wikihood 2/eps/12
From The Wikihood
12 The Big Blue Screen (of Death)
Synopsis
CAST (in order of appearence): Homestar, Y2K
Transcript
Act 1 - Ekul and Sader
{Open to Strong Sader being thrown into a chair by Strong Mad. Dark Sader sits in a chair opposite.}
STRONG SADER: Why have you brought me here?
DARK SADER: Simple. You removed my moderator powers, and I want them back.
STRONG SADER: And what makes you think I'll comply?
DARK SADER: {Chuckles evilly under his breath} Because if you don't, we'll destroy the world.
{Cut to a close up of Strong Sader's face, frozen in horror. A dramatic cue looms. The screen blacks out. Cut to the wasteland that used to be Free Country USA.}
EKUL: Oh, man. This place is ruined. That rip really did destroy-
{Suddenly a gigantic crack appears, then an earthquake. The earthquake damages the sports field, part of the locker room, and destroys several buildings Homestar runs in panic. It continues to occur}
HOMESTAR: Augh! It's true! The ground is like jello again!
EKUL: Uh oh! We did more damage than we thought!
MEEK SADER: That's not the glitches! Something's fracturing the crust!
EKUL: What!? Oh no...
{A crack bursts directly below Ekul and he falls through it. He barely manages to hold onto the edge. Cut to Strong Sader, whose being escorted to a room with a large reactor looking object in the center.}
DARK SADER: THIS is the source of our power. It works through breaking down binary coding, and then reforming it, and thus we get more energy out then we put in.
{Reflected Ekul walks into the room a new Legion of Evil themed cloak.}
REFLECTED EKUL: Hello, Dark Sader. Darlon said I should talk to you. Alone.
STRONG SADER: Wait one minute. So what is your doomsday device?
DARK SADER: When we planted that house, we also planted a seismic disturber, which can disintegrate the crust of the Earth! Blue Laser Troop 14, demonstrate.
{A blue laser troop salutes, then turns up the power. Marzipan's house is demolished in the destruction}
DARK SADER: Okay, I'll come now.
{Reflected Ekul and Dark Sader walk out of the hearing range of Strong Sader}
REFLECTED EKUL: Strong Sader needs to give you your power back, right? Well, I am basically Ekul's image, that guy that's his friend. Make like you're going to kill me or something.
DARK SADER: You crap! I'll kill you! {Raises his arm as if to strike.}
REFLECTED EKUL: {Yelling so that Strong Sader can hear} Kill me if you want, but Strong Sader will never give you access again!
STRONG SADER: Crap! They've got Ekul!
{Strong Sader runs in between the two.}
STRONG SADER: If you kill Ekul, you might as well kill me too, because Ekul wouldn't want me to give you my powers again no matter what!
REFLECTED EKUL: {Thinking} Crap. It backfired. {spoken} You can destroy FCUSA and kill all the Homestar characters you want, hey, even destroy the system, but we'll never give it up! Ever!
STRONG SADER: Darn right!
STRONG MAD: ME TOO!
DARK SADER: Shut up, you're on our side
REFLECTED EKUL: Even the bomb you put on my head in the real world!
STRONG SADER: But Ekul and I would rather die for real than surrender to you! Right!
REFLECTED EKUL: {Thinking} I think I'm motivating him... not persuading him. Time for more extreme measures. {Spoken} In fact, in defiance, I shall impale myself!
{Reflected Ekul stabs himself. He falls on the ground. Meanwhile, Ekul at the cliff side falls to his doom down the crevice. Cut back to the Reflected Ekul's body}
DARK SADER: Ah, screw this! {Hit Strong Sader on the head, and knocks him out.} Lets just extract the file and give it to Darlon.
{Reflected Ekul bursts to flame, and stands back up, in a different form}
REFLECTED EKUL: Sorry about that. Now, if I'm correct we could turn him into a ghost and imprison him into your body. You'd then be a dual personality, but it's better than being regular.
{Stinkoman K warps in}
STINKOMAN K: Finally! You have no idea how hard it was to find the coordinates of this place. I overheard the conversation, Ekul, and I think I know how to do that.
{Stinkoman K runs towards Dark Sader and punches him as hard as possible with his solid metal hands.}
REFLECTED EKUL: {Thinking} Hmm... Maintain cover, attack enemy. Decisions. I have it.
{Reflected Ekul hits the ground and causes Stinkoman K, Dark Sader and Strong Sader to all freeze in a gigantic ice cube.}
REFLECTED EKUL: {Thinking} There we go. Both accomplished.
{Strong Mad looks oddly at the reflection}
STRONG MAD: Huh?
{Cut back to Ekul and Meek Sader.}
MEEK SADER: There appears to be some form of seismic manipulator down there. I'll turn it off. {Meek Sader leaps to a ledge below, and deactivates a device.} There, try to drop to this ledge. {To the others}
HOMESTAR: Uh, if it's not too much to ask, could you get the time-box I buried and bring it up?
APOC: Bleh.
{A giant hologram of a Windows Live Messenger conversation window appears.}
Y2K: {as a typed message} I'm deep inside the computer, trying to fix it. {as another typed message} Maybe someone could help me?
MEEK SADER: You guys stay here and work on the machine thing, I'll go get Ekul.
{Meek Sader glides into the cavern below using his jumper as a parachute.}
APOC: Why bother staying in a simulation I created? I'm going home.
{Apoc sees a door reading "Way Out" and goes through it. Cut to the bottom of the cavern. Meek Sader lands at the bottom. As he reaches the bottom, he finds a light blue penguin instead of Ekul}
LIGHT BLUE EKUL: Aha! There you are! I see that this machine has started to stop. Now let's destroy it completely!
MEEK SADER: Hmm, death seems to have altered your coding. Anyway, we'll have to return to the surface, I have an eerie feeling about this place. Almost as if... {Dramatic zoom in} There's a ghost...
{Spooky music cue.}
EKUL: You silly strange Sader! I'm actually always fractured into separate forms switched by death. This allows me to be focused on certain traits and such. This solves the problem of creating a good and evil side and the fact that I would become a ghost and creates the problem that my personalities are very different.
HOMESTAR: {off screen} Have you found my time box yet?
{Cut back to the satellite.}
REFLECTION EKUL: Perfect, now that I've frozen them, I can extract Strong Sader's moderator code! And when I am finally inaugurated, the League of Evil will involve me as its leader!
{Reflection Ekul rattles on, Strong Sader melts himself out of the ice with his plasma abilities. Weak and dying from his fast thawing, he makes his way the reactor's control panel, and deactivates one of the functions.}
ALARM: Alert! Reactor control field has been deactivated! Meltdown in ten seconds.
{Cut to Darlon}
DARLON: WHAT!?!
{Cut the outside of the satellite, the countdown and Darlon's screams of anger can be heard as the camera slowly zooms out. The countdown reaches zero, and the satillite explodes in a massive nuclear blast.}
{The satellite's nuclear explosion generates radioactive waste which rains from the sky}
EKUL: Uh oh!
{A piece of debris hits the crevice and kills Ekul and Sader. A cloud of radioactivity hovers over FCUSA. Ekul regenerates again, this time as a purple penguin}
EKUL: Hmm...
{Ekul uses his fire power to fly out of the crevice}
EKUL: We must evacuate! Free Country USA must be abandoned!
MEEK SADER: If I can get to an access port, I can edit away the radiation.
EKUL: You must get the radiation suit to do that!! Er... A radiation suit. Gamma radiation is quite unforgiving.
MEEK SADER: {Musters a door to the code universe.} Quick! In here!
EKUL: As long as you don't get captured and strand me again. {Mutter mutter}
{Ekul walks through. Inside, Meek Sader successfully edits the code. FCUSA reverts from being a crater to a its normal way, and Bubs returns to life.}
MEEK SADER: Done.
EKUL: Hmm... So technically the file of radiation is actually shunted to the side. This could be useful somehow. When we want to imprison them, there it is...
{Meek Sader paces the LoE in a file with the debris.}
MEEK SADER: Actually, I think I'll stay here to regulate the coding. With Dark Sader locked up, I think it's my job to see it stays that way.
EKUL: Superb idea! Thank you, Meek Sader, we are in your debt. I guess you're not all too meek after all...
MEEK SADER: Bye, you'd better get going before the glitch repair system closes the door up again.
{Ekul leaves through the door. As he passes through, the normal FCUSA converts him back to blue with a black coat rather than purple with a green one. The door disappears. Strong Sader respawns.}
STRONG SADER: {Groans} What happened?
EKUL: You did it. It's over. The legion of evil is imprisoned in a radioactive wasteland.
STRONG SADER: Oh good. {Passes out}
EKUL: Wow. We need a medic.
{Pom Pom drives up in an ambulance}
EKUL: Oh, perfect.
{The ambulance drives away}
EKUL: And so, everything was resolved!
{Zoom out to see FCUSA. Big fancy letters say "The End of Act 1!"}
VOICE: ARRRGH!
{After a while, an object falls from the sky and lands on the ground.}
EKUL'S REFLECTION: No, Ekul. The game won't end. Ironic that in destroying the Leagues plans that he aided mine. Now, nobody will find me until I'm ready to strike
{Ekul's Reflection creates a coding portal and steps into it.}
{The hologram of the conversation window appears again.}
JOHNNY PHILLIPS: {as a typed message} Is anyone besides me helping Y2K fix the simulation?!
Act 2 - Homestar to the Rescue? Nope.
{cut to Homestar running in the field.}
HOMESTAR: {singing} Homestar run man! Go go go...Homestar run man!
{Homestar runs into something grey.}
HOMESTAR: Owwww...
{zoom out to reveal that a huge, metal square block is where Bubs' used to be.}
{A hologram Windows Live Messenger conversation window appears.}
Y2K: {as a written message} Whoa, look at that. {as another written message} What happened to Bubs' Concession Stand?
STRONG SAD: It looks like some kinda seismic vibrator. That guy must have moved it to the surface. {Strong Sad messes with the controls, and activates it by accident.}
{Bubs opens a door.}
BUBS: Stop that! You're messing with my hiding place!
{Stinkoman K runs in, about to hit Bubs}
BUBS: Oh, no you won't! I've come prepared!
{Bubs knocks Stinkoman K out with a blast of sleeping gas}
STINKOMAN K: You...suck...
{Stinkoman K collapses to the ground, fast asleep}
HOMESTAR: Bubsy, what are you doing hiding in a cube?
BUBS: {asleep}
{A robot drags Bubs back in and shuts the door.}
{Vanhock walks by, carrying something that looks like a speed register}
VANHOCK: Playing with a handheld radar! Plating with a-hey! I wonder what this metal thingy looks like in radar! {points the radar at Bubs'} Hey...It's not showing up.
HOMESTAR: Ah-ha! That means Bubs is hiding from the LoE's radaws!
VANHOCK: Homestar? How did you figure that out?
HOMESTAR: Three times four!
STRONG SAD: Wait. Aren't the Legion of Evil members locked up in a trash file?
VANHOCK: Wait, they are? Who locked them up?
EKUL: Yes, it's true. Meek Sader locked them in a radioactive wasteland. The only way they're getting out of this one is if a moderator turns against us.
HOMESTAR: Who are these suspicious moderator folks?! I must destroy them! {Runs off}
VANHOCK: ...Meek Sader...KILLED MY BROTHER!? CHAAAARGE! {Vanhock runs off, towards Strong Bad's house, where Strong Sader is inevitably watching TV.}
STRONG SAD: Homestar and Vanhock are exercising their stupidity gland again...
HOMESTAR: Strong Sad! A moderator! Time for a kickening!
{Homestar starts beating him up}
EKUL: Ouch. Oh well. Kinda fun to watch. He deserved it too.
CHWOKA: {walks up} Homestar! Why are you beating up Strong Sad?
HOMESTAR: He's a modewatowow!
CHWOKA: No! Moderators are good! Moderators are Eric, ApocolypX, and Strong Sader! Hey, enguin guy, who are you?
EKUL: My name is Ekul.
CHWOKA: Cool. I'm Chwoka.
{Cut to Strong Bad's basement. Strong Bad is absent.}
STRONG SADER: Look, Meek Sader didn't kill Darlon, he just put him in a kind of prison.
VANHOCK: I still don't care! {starts crying} Now I won't get to see my brother ever again!{cries like a baby.}
EKUL: There there. Maybe we can take you to visit sometime.
STRONG SADER: {Guilty voice} Aw... {Musters Darlon's file and removes his evil code.} Here you go.
{Suddenly Darlon's file begins to glitch.}
DARLON?: FILE CANNOT FUNCTION WITHOUT KEY PARTS.
VANHOCK: DARLON! {hugs}
STRONG SADER: {pause} Works for me.
{Darlon's file suddenly begins to function, but he doesn't say anything or act like anything has happened}
HOMESTAR: Aww...
{Homestar joins in on the hug}
{cut to the trash file, a few seconds ago. Darlon dissapears and leaves behind a floating orb of pure evil}
DARK SADER: Where the crap did Darlon go? We needed him to escape!
{cut back. Darlon glitches up to the point where Vanhock and Homestar can no longer hold him.}
VANHOCK: ...Darlon?
{Darlon disapears back to the trash file, where his evil is.}
VANHOCK: DARLOOOOOOON!
STRONG SADER: I'm sorry Vanhock. But Darlon can't exist properly without his evil, and if we bring his evil here he'll destroy everything.
VANHOCK: ...ok...I understand...
{In evil land, Dark Sader is talking to a crack}
REFLECTION EKUL: {Not seen} Alright. I've got it all set up now. I'll make sure our enemies don't try anything.
{Darlon appears}
DARLON: I feel weird. Nevermind that, we must get back to our time/space portal generator! Blue Laser troops, use your radiation-proof suits to get some uranium. Dark Sader, anything of interest happen? Subsection Apoc Enimies, get oddly-shaped metal. MOVE OUT!
DARK SADER: {To reflection} Thanks for scoring us an exit. By the way, what's your name?
REFLECTION: My name is Nived. I'd change my feather color and powers to my own, but we may impersonate him soon enough. Don't forget the new process I created for Time Travel.
DARLON: Dark Sader, who are you talking to? Someone in that crack obviously...Don't worry, you're not in trouble. In fact, you get a badge of honor. Dark Sader, maintain everyone while I'm gone, here's the blueprints for the machine. {hands Dark Sader the blueprints, and steps through the crack.}
DARK SADER: {Salutes} Yessir!
{cut to the code zone}
NIVED: Darlon, sir. Your file was damaged in the transfer for you to be hugged. I hardened your code so that you can't be edited anymore.
DARLON: Hugged? {shivers} Ah, well. No use worrying about the past when I should worry about the future. Give me a few minutes.
NIVED: Yes, sir.
DARLON: And another thing...stop calling me sir. Too formal for my tastes.
{a card saying "3 minutes later" pops up, then comes back down, revealing Darlon finally stands up.}
DARLON: I understand...{evil laugh}
{A card that says "End of Act 2" pops up on screen}
Act 3: LoEscape
MEEK SADER: {Floats in} ... Now to check that faulty atmosphere code and...
{Suddenly Meek Sader's program starts to shut down}
NIVED: Ha haaa! Fool! Don't you know 80% of all attacks come from the rear!?
{Nived throws Meek Sader into the White Space, then quarantines it.}
MEEK SADER: This does not bode well...
{cut to the code zone. Darlon is moving around code at light-speed. Cut to FCUSA}
HOMESTAR: Hey guys! Look at Twogdow!
{Trogdor flies overhead.}
STRONG BAD: {dying and reviving randomly} Trogdor dosen't fly! The wings are decoration!
STRONG SADER: What in the name of holy space crap is going on around here!?
{Nived changes colors to be orange with black clothes. A note genrates.}
Nived- This is Darlon. There's a button in your robe pocket on the inside that will allow you to look like Ekul when you press it. Signed, Darlon
{Back to Dark Sader, Nived accesses Meek Sader's file and switches it with a file in Dark Sader's}
NIVED: Now, Dark Sader, you will have Moderator powers. I'll stay in the code in case anything else happens. After all, we need my element of surprise...
{Nived gets the message}
NIVED: Perfect.
{Cut back to the field.}
STRONG SADER: Someone must be editing the code from the inside. I'll go check. {Strong Sader creates a door, and walks through.}
{Darlon shoves Strong Sader back out.}
DARLON: Take away Strong Sader's mod powers.
{A code stealing beam grases Strong Sader's head. He turns and runs. Nived types something}
VANHOCK: Darlon! Hugs!
DARLON: Stay away or be deleted.
{Vanhock moves through the door. Darlon moves around some code, and Vanhock disappears.}
NIVED: I transferred it all to me. I had a part already, but now it's all mine!
DARLON: Good. while you're out, seperate my code from Chwoka and Vanhock.
NIVED: Done. Now, be careful. This could damage you when Will leaves or it could take him over.
{Cut back to white space. Meek Sader receives a mental message from Strong Sader.}
STRONG SADER: {In Meek Sader's mind.} Meek Sader, restore my powers, I need to fight Darlon!
MEKK SADER: For you, Strong Sader...
{Meek Sader transfers an upgrade beam. Cut to Strong Sader. the beam strikes him, and restores his powers.}
{Nived hides his file and waits as a backup plan in case Darlon looses his powers. Darlon deletes the Sader (excluding Dark) people's mod powers. Again.}
DARLON: Ahhhhh...Now, let's get back that satellite. {Darlon begins leisurely moving around code.}
{Cut back to white space.}
MEEK SADER: I only have one shot at this. {Concentrates hard.}
{Cut to the trash file. Dark Sader's eyes turn blue like Meek Sader's. He enters the rip. Cut to the field. Dark Sader, now under Meek Sader's control, stabs Darlon in the back.}
HOMESTAR: AHHHHGGGG! That's not very nice blue hair guy!
{Darlon doesn't die. He turns around and smacks Dark Sader.}
DARLON: Goodbye, Meek Sader.
{cut to where Meek Sader was. He loses control.}
DARLON: Dark Sader, get everybody through here and into FCUSA. I'll create a seperate file for you. Oh, and by the way...bring rubber umbrellas.
{Darlon moves around code. Cut to FCUSA, a lightning storm begins.}
STRONG SADER: You think you can just take over the simulation? Your forgetting, you don't exist in the real world. I can easily leave the simulation and reprogram from the outside.
DARLON: Oh, trust me. I do. Now that I have a separate file from my idiot brothers, I could beam out and take over Will. Like now. {beams out}
{Cut to the real world, Will gets out of his seat, with red eyes.}
WILLON: Goodbye, Free Country, USA, hello me being ruler of the real world. Wait, I'm a kid? Crud! Ah well. Now, if I could get everyone in the LoE out to control the real people controlling them...{starts typing on the computer, and stops.} Almost forgot. {bolts down Strong Sader's restraints, and rewires his helmet so that it can't turn off, then gets back to the computer.}
STRONG SADER: Oh, yeah? Well two can play at this game! Meek Sader, reroute my fil through Ekul!
{Ekul is releaced in the real world. He has Strong Sader's voice.}
EKULER: Now I know what it's like to be a penguin!
WILLON: Hm? Oh. Strong Sader took over Ekul. Too bad Ekul is a regular penguin in the real world. How are you liking the lack of fingers? WRONG. {kicks Ekuler through a window.} Oh, also, you probably wanna find a iceberg.
EKULER: {Climbs back through the window.} Actually, that's where your wrong, Ekul's powers are stronger in the real world so... {Ekuler releases a large fireball which blasts Willon across the room. Ekuler releases the restraints on his body's chair.} Meek Sader, insert yourself into me!
{Strong Sader's eyes turn blue like Meek Sader's. Willon recovers and forces Ekul's body back into the chair.}
EKULER: Meek Sader! It's all up to you!
{Ekuler is keyed back into the system. Ekul's code connects back to his body. Cut to field Strong Sader pops back.}
HOMESTAR: Ooo! Poppymin!
(OOC: Ummm...Ekul has Super Powers? In the real world? HUBBA-WHA?)
{cut back to the real world}
WILLON: Hey, Meek Sader. Once again, Goodbye. This time...forever. {quickly shoves Meek Sader back into the chair and he automaticly keys in. Willon bolts down everyone. Willon gets on the computer and edits Strong Sader and Meek Sader back into one person.}'
{cut to FCUSA. Meek Sader and Strong Sader are flying towards eachother rapidly. Meek Sader and Strong Sader fuse. They begin to glitch instantly.}
COMPUTER: ALERT! CANNOT ALLOCATE! ERROR! ERROR! JUNKING PROCCEDURE ALPHA! EJECTING FILES CONTAINING EVIL CODING!
{The LoE members are transported to white space.}
HOMESTAR: Holy Crap! Those guys are getting married.
{cut back to the real world.}
WILLON: Now that they're all in the same place...
{All the LoE members take over their real-world bodies. Willon stands up.}
WILLON: {pacing back and forth infront of them} GENTLEMEN! Today is the dawning of a new age of the Legion of Evil. No longer are we contained within a stupid simulation. We can conquer the real world. Unfortunately, we have no special powers now.
{The chairs reactivate. The users ae keyed back in.}
COMPUTER: EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! SYSTEM CORRUPTION!
WILLON: WHAT!? Goddamn (oooh a swear!) it.
COMPUTER: ALL LOGGING OUT IS RESTRICTED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!
WILLON: Ugh. Do I have to do everything myself? {walks off}
{Cut back to the simulation. Strong ang Meek Sader stop fusing, and seperate.}
COMPUTER: ALLOCATION FAILIURE! REVERTING!
{Strong Sader and Dark Sader return to normal.}
HOMESTAR: Aw, is the marrage broken off?
{Ekul awakens}
EKUL: Ugh, what happened? I feel like someone else... Wait...
{Ekul does a self diagnosis}
EKUL: This body wasn't asleep... Then... My real body must be?
{Ekul attemps to log out, but it is restricted. It asks him to repair}
EKUL: But... I'm not a moderator?
{The computer brings up a file and shows that Ekul's file has moderator abilities}
EKUL: Okay, uh, edit.
{The computer states that he must still verify password}
EKUL: Crap. So I am a moderator, but I can't use it. That makes zero sense
STRONG SAD: Uh, I think something wierd is happening. Everybody is talking about the "Real World" And going into others' body
{Ekul suddenly stops in realization}
EKUL: Wait, what?
{Cut to a new LoE base inside a cave. Dark Sader is at a podium talking to the members of the LoE.}
DARK SADER: Well, fellow Legionaires, Darlon has left our ranks, and I am pleased to not only keep my rank as Brigadier General, but to introduce you to our new leader: Nived!
{Nived walks in triumphantly. The LoE cheer him. He steps up to the podium to address the audience.}
NIVED: Since the regrettable exiling of Darlon, we were left with me as the leader. The next goal of ours will be to alter the programs of the Homestar Runner characters. The only way we can do that is by using the internet to hack into the Chapmans' computer. Once this is done, we'll be left to strike!
{The LoE cheer vigerously. Cut back to the field.}
STRONG SADER: I feel... a distrubance in shwartz...
HOMESTAR: What Mr. Long hairs?
EKUL: What happened, Strong Sader? Strong Sad was talking about people going into the real world?
STRONG SADER: Wait... Ah, it's just gas...
EKUL: Well anyway, what happened while I was unconsious?
STRONG SADER: Darlon took over Chwoka's body and locked us in the simulation.
EKUL: Oh dear. Hmm... Strong Sad also talked about body stealing.
STRONG SADER: Yeah.
HOMESTAR: Man, this is a friggin' long episode!
{End credits. After the ending a sequence with Nived plays. Nived suddenly points at an object and it crushes itself.}
NIVED: Hah. Now I have Ekul's powers and my own... Now, for my first corruption target.
{pan over to see a picture of Coach Z}
NIVED: Coach Z!
{Cut to the real world. Apoc and the G-Man are standing there.}
APOC: A world ripe for conquering... G-Man, {closeup} Summon the Combine.
{Cut to black.}
IX1X7a Thanks, useful material I added your blog to my bookmarks!...
