Michael Burton
From Pirate Bitch
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| He is the baby jesus! | |
| Date of Birth: | Burtember 3rd 1989 |
| Place of Birth: | Stardust City |
| Occupation | Keyboardist of The Count And His Men |
| Accomplishments | Once shat in Garald S Kirk's bath |
Michael Burton is a childhood friend of famed fool Garald S Kirk and is able to recount incidents like the time he got jenga in Garald's eye or the time he left Garald's Harry Potter book on a bookshelf in Ireland. These heroic deeds aside, he is commonly known for looking like an owl. He once had a thing for Garald, but alleges his marriage to him was a sham.
He is beloved by Garald's mother, who gave him a candlelit three course meal, slipping a fifty into his pocket, before demanding Garald stop staring and eat his single slice of bread. He is also invited to "Shit in Garald's bath, anytime!".
In recent years, after a business deal with Leonardo Mace, Michael purchased an East London dry cleaning shop, formerly called Peter's Dry Cleaners. For reasons known only to him and Leonardo, he renamed both himself and the business Mohammed's Dry Cleaners. An advertisement for the new business received mixed critical aclaim for its use of real employees, notably a fellow who used the psyeudonym "Uncle Dim" as well Garald S Kirk in period costume.
