Deacon Venkra

From Larrysucks

Deacon Venkra (alias: Preacherman, age: 40s) is a controversial self-proclaimed gospel preacher at Bilgewater University. He is also a vampire hunter.

Preaching

Venkra sets up shop in the free speech area and yells at passing students about how they're going to hell because they masturbate, are gay, and/or dress like whores. He carries a little red bible and holds up signs with slogans such as "No homos go to heaven."

Vampire hunting

Venkra comes from a long line of nomadic vampire hunters, most of which have probably also been preachermen. He believes that his family was commissioned by Jesus to keep Bleakdale free of vampires and gay people, and he was largely successful (with the vampires) until Larry showed up.

Family

He has a family, who are all as crazy as he is. His son is gay and will eventually become a vampire.

Quotes

• "While you're in sin, you're not in glory at all. While you masturbate, you're going to hell."
• "There's a lot of masturbators here, especially the homos, the perverts. They watch these pervert videos and touch themselves."
• "Pray for revival in this land of gross spiritual secular-humanistic anti-Christ darkness."
• "You say, 'Jesus come in my heart,' and then you sodomize, you go poke some man in the rear. Understand about this: A penis does not go in an anus. An anus is meant to push out waste material."
• "Most of you are damned because of your choice of lust. Some of you I talked to many years ago. I pray you repent before you bust hell wide open. While you ask Jesus in your heart, you go home and masturbate, you go home and have sex outside of marriage, you go home and listen to Tupac who's in hell like you'll be, you go home and listen to Biggie Smalls."