Reach under there and violently grab the kitty.

From Create Your Own Story

With vengeful fury, you grab the cat. You are relieved that it is not SCP-247. The annoying thing just sinks its little fangs into your skin. What a pest! Determined to solve this cat problem once and for all, you remove a kitchen knife from your pocket.

First you cut off the cat's head, then you scrape out its brain and eyes. You boil the severed head until the skull is clean. Finally, you douse the remains with oil and set them on fire. This is terrible, and you should feel terrible.

While the cat corpse burns, charging the air with the odour of crisped fur, there comes a knocking on your door. It's your friend Matticus! If he sees what you did to that poor cat, he might report you to the police -- or worse, the Council for Feline Protection.

Image:Kitty.jpg
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