OF, Z!!!

From Create Your Own Story

Your name is Richard Keene.

You are not a licensed zombie killer.

You're a 47-year-old VP of supply-chain-management for a furniture wholesaler based in Minneapolis.

Right now, you're driving home to your 6,000-square-foot house in the suburbs and your tanning-addicted, borderline-anorexic wife, Candace, who's also 47 but buys all her clothes at Forever 21. Candace's compulsions stem from her paranoid belief that you're nailing your secretary, Rachael, who really is 21.

As it happens, you are nailing Rachael. Rachael is unbelievably cute, and is attracted to even the meager amount of power you've amassed in your life.

You're four miles from home, passing a car wash, when it occurs to you that the Jag could use a cleaning.


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