User:Rubyrulez/Rubyrulez's Nerds and Geeks are Not the Same
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Bonus Stage Episode #80
Andrew starts to feel the same way about Elly that she feels about him. When Andrew finds her hanging out with an old friend, he turns to Joel and Phil for help.
Cast (in order of appearance): Phil, Joel, The Crypt Keeper, Jessica, Andrew, Jiminy Cricket, Elly, Rubyrulez , Cassidy
Places: Phil's House, Graveyard, Elly's House, Fancy Restaurant
Date: December 20, 2005
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[edit] Transcript
{Cut to Joel and Phil in Phil's House}
PHIL: So, how about this idea for a cold opening?
JOEL: Your ideas suck!
PHIL: {angry} Hey, I wasn't the one who purchased the X-Box 360 from E-bay!
JOEL: S-so...
PHIL: So, what about the electricity bill?
JOEL: I don't get what the big deal i...
{The screen goes black}
{Opening Theme}
{Cut to Joel and Phil in Phil's Living Room.}
PHIL: Well, I spoke to the guy in charge of the graveyard, and I set up Rya's Funeral for tomorrow.
JOEL: What? We have a graveyard?
{Pause}
PHIL: Yes, we do... you created this world, you should know!
JOEL: {amused} And...and who runs the graveyard, The Crypt Keeper?
PHIL: Actually...
{Cut to the graveyard. Phil and The Crypt Keeper are standing near where Rya's grave will be.}
PHIL: Well, I'd like to arrange a funeral...for a...special...friend.
CRYPT KEEPER: Soooooo, you'd like a grave?
PHIL: {weirded out} Well, yes!
{The Crypt Keeper pushes Phil into an open grave. He then starts to cackle before exploding. Cut back to the living room.}
JOEL: I bet you were caught in a {holds back laugh} grave situation!
PHIL: Shut up! I told him to go back to HBO.
JOEL: From the inside of a grave?
PHIL: Shut up!
{Jessica's Head appears out of nowhere. She has her insane eyes.}
JESSICA: What's up homeslices?
{Pause}
PHIL: {shocked} What happened to your body?
JESSICA: {singing} ...I flushed it down the potty! And round and round it goes, and round and round it goes...
JOEL: Who let you into this ep...
JESSICA: {singing} ...And round and round it gooooooooooooooooessss!
{The word "goes" comes out of Jessica's mouth as she sings it. It streches out and hits Phil on the head, knocking him down. Cut to Elly's house. Andrew is in Elly's Basement.}
ANDREW: What's taking her so long? We're supposed to be playing Extreme Indoor Frisbee today!
{Jiminy Cricket appears on Andrew's shoulder}
JIMINY: Why, that's the sweetest thing I have ever heard.
ANDREW: Who are you?
JIMINY: Why, I'm your conscience, silly, and it sounds to me like you have a thing for this Elly person, huh?
ANDREW: {turning red} What, that...that's silly. {now angry} You go bye bye now!
{Andrew curshes Jiminy on he head}
ANDREW: {angry} Eat that, feelings!
{Cut to Andrew in Elly's Computer Room}
ANDREW: That little green man may be right, I think I do feel for that girl.
{Andrew walks into the Living Room, but see's Elly sitting on the couch with Rubyrulez}
ELLY: Wow, I can't believe how long it's been. What are you doing with your life now?
RUBYRULEZ: Oh, you know... Things...
ELLY: How's Rex? You know, I found him totally hot back in High School.
RUBYRULEZ: Rex was killed by an evil robot.
ELLY: But, Rya's dead!
{A Thought balloon appears over Elly's head. A Question Mark appears in the thought balloon. Cut to Andrew, who is hiding behind a plant.}
ANDREW: The hell is this? She's my girl?! I never thought I'd do this, but I need their help.
{Cut to Phil's Living Room. Jessica's head is hanging on the wall, similarly to a hunting trophy. Joel, Phil and Cassidy are standing in front of her.}
CASSIDY: I checked the sewers for Jessica's body. I still can't believe you made me do that.
JOEL: Aaaaaaaand, I still can't believe it's not butter!
PHIL: What the heck happened to her?
JOEL: Well, according to my scientific calculations, {he holds up a scientific calculator} the square root of pi is exactly 9x.
PHIL: Why are you still talking?
JOEL: Incidently, Jessica has been slipping back and forth from insane to sane ever since we returned to Earth. It won't be long until her head disintergrates!
{pause}
PHIL: Good!
{The doorbell rings}
PHIL: Um, since when do we have a doorbell?
JOEL: Why do you ask?
PHIL: Well, throughout the course of Bonus Stage, nobody has ever rung the doorbell. I doubt anybody rung it while we were in space, or on Hydrox, or at E3, or at C World, which by the way still sucks...
JOEL: Hey, miss Mary Pants, just answer the door.
{Cut to the open door. Andrew is standing there, talking with Phil.}
ANDREW: Phil...heh-heh...I...I didn't expect you to answer the door.
PHIL: Well, this is my house, so...
{Joel appears in the doorway}
JOEL: Our house...
PHIL: Yes, our house...
JOEL: In the middle of our street!
PHIL: {annoyed} Shut up!
ANDREW: I feel you guys are the only ones who can help me, either you or the guys across the street...
PHIL: I may turn to them if I'm ever in a pickle.
ANDREW: Well, today I caught Elly with another guy, and I need your help to win her back.
JOEL: {tauntingly} Eeeeeew! You love Elly? You got cooties!
PHIL: {angry} Joel, you are not five!
JOEL: Phil, you are...not...f...five.
PHIL: You just repeated what said!
JOEL: Um...no!
ANDREW: So, won't you...
JOEL: ...say you love me too? Of course I will!
PHIL: {angry} Joel!
ANDREW: I didn't know you guys had a dorbell.
PHIL: You know, I was just thinking, Elly rang it once...
ANDREW: {angry} For what?!
{Cut to a Bonus Stage style flashback of Joel and Phil in the Living Room.}
JOEL: Then, we'll make a video game!
PHIL: Um, we don't know how to program...
JOEL: Then we'll...uh...watch The Simpsons!
{The doorbell rings. Joel answers the door to find Elly.}
ELLY: I can help!
{Joel slams the door shut. Cut back to Joel, Phil and Andrew. Joel grabs Phil angrily by the coller.}
JOEL: {angry} What did I tell you back on Hydrox, huh?! WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!
PHIL: That we don't reference High Score anymore...
JOEL: {calm} Good...
{Cut to the inside of a Fancy Restaurant. Elly and Ruby are sitting at a table, while Joel, Phil and Andrew hide behind a plant.}
PHIL: {annoyed} What's with everybody hiding behind plants in this episode.
ANDREW: Keep it down...I see them.
{They look over at Elly and Ruby, eating their meal.}
PHIL: Look at them. This disgusts me...
ANDREW: Do you think it's any better for me?
JOEL: I have an idea {He gets ready to speak, but then blurts out the next line.} Phildies!
{Joel shhots lasers out of his eyes, cutting Phil in half. Another Phil walks in from off-screen.}
PHIL: Hello, Mr. Genius! Nobody can die in your simulation!
JOEL: Yeah, but you're supposed to be dead until the next episode!
PHIL: Crap, he's right.
{The new Phil drops dead.}
ANDREW: Come on, Joel, let's confront them, in a confrontation, of...confrontational proportions.
JOEL: I hate when three different versions of one word are used in the same sentence for dramatic effect!
ANDREW: Actually, it was for comic relief...
JOEL: Oh, OK then!
{Andrew jumps out from behind the plant.}
ANDREW: Stop! We're here to keep you from marrying for the first time ever!
{Pause}
JOEL: Stop repeating already used dialogue...
ANDREW: Everybody knows that auto mechanics tamper with the battery...
{pause}
JOEL: Oooooooooookay, so completely ignore me!
RUBYRULEZ: What the hell is this?
ELLY: Andrew, what's up? Why are you here?
ANDREW: Elly, our love is too strong to be imaginary!
{Joel hits Andrew on the head with his bat, knocking him out.}
JOEL: {angry} I SAID STOP IT!!!
ELLY: What?! Andrew thinks that Ruby and I are dating. Hell no, I love Andrew, just Ruby is a friend of mine from High School.
JOEL: We went to High School?
RUBYRULEZ: I can see that this is an awkward moment...but it feels soooooo right!
JOEL: Well, now he's dead...
{pause}
ELLY: OK!
{Cut back to Phil's house. Joel and Cassidy are standing in the Living Room.}
JOEL: Well, everything is back to normal!
CASSIDY: But, Phil and Andrew are de...
JOEL: {angry} BACK TO NORMAL!
{Pan over to the Dining Room, where Phil and Andrew stand.}
PHIL: It's not back to normal!
JOEL: Ahem!
PHIL: Oh, right!
{Phil and Andrew drop dead.}
{End Credits}
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