Changing Bonus Stages
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{opening credits}
{open with Elly and June sitting on the couch in Phil's house. Elly is dressed as Joel, and June as Phil}
ELLY: My latest and tastiest invention will revolutionize the way we dip nachos in cheese!
JUNE: This is stupid. Why are we doing this?
ELLY: Wow, that Phil impersonation is dead-on.
JUNE: I'm serious. This is massively stupid. I mean, if we take Phil and Joel's place, who will take our place?
ELLY: Uhhh... yo momma?
JUNE: Right...
ELLY: Anyway, Joel and Phil aren't around, so we have to carry the show somehow. Would you rather we put the show in your hands again, like that stupid episode where the voices were different?
JUNE: Actually, I would.
ELLY: Well, you won't.
{pan over to Brad}
BRAD: Can I?
ELLY: Nope.
{Brad cries}
{pan over to Andrew}
ANDREW: What's going on, besides you having it?
BRAD: {sniffles} Well, if it isn't the drool king.
ANDREW: Shut up! I don't drool! Why do people keep saying that?
ELLY: You're the King K. Rool of drool.
ANDREW: No. Now what's going on?
ELLY: Well, Joel's out, so I'm filling in.
ANDREW: {smiling} I'd like to fill in you. Heh.
ELLY: You can fill out this suggestion card. {pulls out an orange card and hands it to him}
{close up of the card}
ANDREW: {distraught} You're breaking up with me?
ELLY: I had a long talk with my inner child, and she told me you weren't the one. And that I should buy Polly Pocket toys.
ANDREW: Man... Wish I had an inner child.
ELLY: You can borrow mine. {reaches into her mouth and pulls out a small version of herself}
ELLY'S INNER CHILD: Digestion has rendered my muscles useless. Let's bake a cake!
{cut to a pink splash of Elly's Inner Child in a cute pose, with the caption "Widdle Elly". A tone plays, and the text "a cheap t-shirt ploy!" appears underneath}
{cut to a desert. The text "Joel's Bethle HELL YES Adventure" appears. Cut to Joel}
JOEL: Hello, my dozen cousins. This map will lead me to the long-lost treasure chest of Cleopatra. {points to a sheet of paper}
{pan to show some guy with grayish hair}
GUY: Um, Cleopatra never lived in Bethlehem.
JOEL: {punches the guy} Now, where's Phil? He was supposed to meet me by the afro camel.
{cut to the afro camel. Joel pops in}
JOEL: Curse you, afro camel!
AFRO CAMEL: This afro sucks.
{The afro camel drops the wig, and poops on it}
JOEL: Nice...
AFRO CAMEL: Could I please have more screen time?
{Long pause}
JOEL: Well, ya got it.
AFRO CAMEL: You suck.
JOEL: What? You're not the afro camel!!
AFRO CAMEL: {removes the costume, revealing he is the Stomach King} No, it is I! Stomach King!
{cut to a splash screen of the Stomach King, with the caption "Joel's #6 enemy, STOMACH KING!!"}
STOMACH KING: Number six, what the crap?
{cut back to the desert scene}
STOMACH KING: I've tracked you down, and now I'm going to end your life, with this gun perhaps! {points a weird-looking pistol at Joel}
JOEL: Whoa, dude. You're a shrimp now.
STOMACH KING: This stupid coin came from the sky and scratched off my pounds, it was ridiculous.
JOEL: Coins can be used to drop ships to underwater planets.
STOMACH KING: That is a very helpful tip, Joel.
JOEL: And remember to wear a safety helmet before piloting an airplane!
STOMACH KING: I will!
{cut to a splash screen of an old cartoon title screen, reading "Joel and Stomach King in: "Practical Pals". Produced by DiC"}
STOMACH KING: Enough! You will not reach the buried treasure chest of Cleopatra, Comin' Atcha! I will kill you for killing my partner!
JOEL: Hey, I didn't kill that dude! Well, I mean I did when I took his cup. I still have that, by the way. I've been using it to store my nuts for the winter. And by that I mean my test--
{Rya apperes}
JOEL: Whoa, that was weird.
RYA: Pleasuring yourself again Joel?
JOEL: Uhhhh... yes.
RYA: Ewww.
STOMACH KING: Rya... it's been a while since... our last encounter.
RYA: Even as a human, that's disgusting.
JOEL: So, what brings you here?
RYA: I was trying to find the treasure before you.
{Stomach King shoots Joel}
RYA: Wow.
{Stomach King's head explodes. Ending credits play.}
