John McClane
From Bluesockapedia
John McClane is bad ass. He is the most famous, and important film icon in the whole world.
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Early Life
McClane started out life like all characters, from the tip of a pencil. Created by Jeremy Clarkson whilst trying to draw himself next to a new Audi A4, the drawing was stolen by film executives, and created for the forthcoming film Die Hard. Mike Squires played the part of McClane, excellently. After the film exceeded expectations, and then some, McClane became a real-life person, and currently resides in the suburban districts of Bellend.
Career
McClane began as an actor, doing stunts for films for actors who were not quite bad ass to do their own stunts. Soon enough, McClane became tired, and joined the Army, and soon climbed the ranks to become Major. McClane left the Army 7 years later, and retired gracefully until the Dulles Airport Incident. The incident made him a national hero, and soon the events were turned into the film; Die Hard 2: Die Harder. During the films success, McClane joined a rock band in the studio, and sang vox on the famous song 'Die Hard' [1]. McClane then decided it was time to smoke cigarettes, and drink beer, and watch TV all day in his suburban house, so retired from everything earlier this year. He, however, still remains a bad ass.
Trivia
- McClane is more bad ass than Solid Snake, who is major bad ass.
- Chuck Norris facts were stolen from McClane's autobiography.
- McClane has his own clothing range, featuring everything from sweaty vests, to faux police medallions.
- Hates red links.
