Stuart Puts his Finger in Brown "Mystery Substance"
From The Extended Group
The incident where Stuart Put his Finger in a Brown "Mystery Substance" took place on an unknown day some time ago. The first memories are traced to John Edwards' house, where Stuart, Chris and John Edwards had gathered in the Edwards' formal living room. This room is a known gathering spot for Stuart, John, Chris, Doug Rooke and the Edwards' two cats (Kaliban and Timmy). It was there that Stuart made a remarkable discovery. By the wall, there was a nearly-circular light-brown object on the carpet. It was thin and uniform in appearance, somewhat like an evenly-cooked pancake approximately 2.5 inches in diameter. Curious to see what it was, Stuart called John and Chris over. Chris was reported to have said that the object looked somewhat like a rock or bit of clay, to which John replied "Oh, I think we do have a rock that looks just like this somewhere in our house." Chris agreed with John saying that he seemed to remember the Edwards owning such a rock. Curiousity burned within Stuart, who after several moments and much encouragement from Chris and John bent over, and poked the object with the tip of his index finger. Stuart immediately leapt up from his crouched position, shrieked in pure terror, and screamed "EEW GROSS IT'S WET!!" John and Chris promptly sprinted for the kitchen, slammed the door shut and locked it, trapping stuart in the living room. Stuart continued to shriek and scream for minutes (it's rumored that this phenomenon lasted for close to a half hour). It is unkown how the situation resolved itself but it is likely that Stuart finally washed his finger and despite his severe traumitization, resumed normal activities with his two friends. John's mom cleaned up the mess later that day. The mysterious brown rock alluded to by John and Chris prior to the incident has never been identified. Its existence is purely hypothetical at this point.
